I'm not normally one for human stories, but I quite like this. Nice original idea of using a Carolean soldier instead of the usual US marine. Looks like you did research, too.

Good luck and hope you continue.

>>699960699960

I am Swedish myself, and I am rather interested in the Carolean armies and the old swedish armies.

Let's see where this leads. Good story so far.

Interesting story, enjoyed it so far. Cant wait to see more!

You know, the group Sabaton has a whole album full of songs of the Caroleans! But good story, though, makes me wanna think to write other HiE Soldier stories!

Keep up the good work!

.. What's this? A soldier in Equestria? But he _isn't_ modern military? Wait, he's not even American?!

... I could get used to this.

>>700198700198

I love Sabaton! But I always had interest in the caroleans.

Hej på dig där!

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png

All jokes aside, this looks rather interesting. Caroleans were basically the first special forces to exist, as badass as they were. Good to see this as a fellow swede!

>>700309700309

Men Tjenare!

Swedes were always badass. The vikings, Caroleans. Except for the younger generations as of now... Annoying little kids...

Carolean soldier...?

Well, shit. Time to use Google.

I have a feeling there will be a language problem from the fact that carolean's are soldiers of sweden not any english speaking nation, unless of course he took lessons or something, then this could be very akward.

>>700536700536

I presume I could make it work in some manner.

Be afraid, very afraid.

See the white in their eyes, Carolean's are marching on!

This story though was... okay. Nothing much really happened. It was a decent start, and hopefully it'll be more interesting, as I'm intrigued by the relatively unique premise. Also, just to ask, but is Gustafv an actual name? You said you're Swedish, so I don't want to claim you're wrong or anything, but they seems like you just added a v to the end of Gustaf, and Google is telling me that's not a name. Beyond that, there's some lack of capitalization for things like 'polish' which makes me think the Caroleans are fighting nail polish.

Otherwise though, I'd just recommend building up the main character some more, and making sure he acts on the standards of his time period. Just to ask, what year is the man from specifically? As I want to know if this is before the disastrous march to Poltava.

>>701050701050

Gustav and Gustaf is Swedish names, yes. Gustafv is more of an older spelling of the name who was quite normal ways to spell names back in those days. Just by adding another 'f'. I think they removed it because the extra 'f' was unneccessary.

I plan on make him skeptical about everything he sees and meets, not trusting but still loyal towards those in need. This will not be one of those fics when a human comes to Equestria and becomes friends with everypony in an instant, farting rainbows and whatnot. It will be a story that will be in a slow pace.

As for the year, it was late 1600's/ early 1700's.

>>701100701100

Ah, an older pronunciation makes sense. Thanks for explaining that.

Slow pace sounds good, though I'm curious about what conflict there'll be. If Peter the Great's the Big Bad, that'd be hilariously awesome.

>>701168701168

About of the more diplomatical/political/religious conflicts that revolved in the 1600's. Such as female leaders of countries still being considered taboo in some countries.

No more spoiling...

>>701196701196

Well it wasn't as taboo as history leads us to believe. Sweden had a queen after Charles XII died in battle, and the rest of the European monarchies had women monarchs that had relatively stable reigns. Sure, they probably faced some form of persecution, but I don't think that, say, this guy would be too surprised by a lady ruler. He'd probably be more surprised said lady is a nigh-immortal princess that's also a horse.

Image: https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/522170_250534595045262_1584134299_n.jpg

(only swedes will get this)

>>701522701522

Ow, my sides...

Some things I noticed:

question him, But the invisible floor vanished

Random capitalization of But

civilization, or if there even was a civilisation

two forms of spelling civilization in the same sentence makes it jarring to read

Interesting how Sabaton comes out with Carlous Rex, sparking my interest into the Swedish Empire. Then this fic appears... Strange coincidences...

So, all in all a good read for a first chapter. I typically avoid stories like this, mostly because when you've seen one, you've seen 'em all. However, I will give this peice a chance because of its unique timeframe of which it draws its soldier.

I would be mindful of his speech. For some reason, I keep hearing him speak like a modern-day human rather than from the 1700s. Other than that, a good start, and I hope to see more from you.

>>701950701950

As I said before, I know Sabaton released Carolus Rex, but I've always had interest in the Caroleans.

Also, thank you for spotting the mistakes. I'll clean them up when I can.

>>703971703971

I apologize if I make it sound like more of a coincidence than it is. I just find it amusing how close together the two points of interest matched up.

Sweden was pretty badass back in the day (still is, too). I'll be tracking this.

En Svenne i Equestria? Tja eftersom den här historien verkar vara skriven av en landsman så skall jag hålla ett vaksamt öga på den.......och för att den är utmärkt skriven.

Seriöst, din Engelska är bättre än ett flertal Amerikanska författare som finns på den här sidan, måste vara ganska pinsamt för dem, en Svensk som är bättre att skriva på deras modersmål än de själva.

Now, all Swedish formalities aside, i do find this fic quite interesting, i can't wait to see how a strict christian man with his old faith and belifs can handle everyday life in Equestria, considering in his era all sorts of magic is blasphemous and only those that work for the devil use it.

Can't wait to see how he will react when meeting the magic users in the main cast, Celista and Luna. =D

>>713865713865

Ja... Lärde man sig engelska när man var 6 år och är 16 nu så finns det så klart några bra sidor av det hela.

Oh lordie, let him be snarky all the way through ! I don't want him to be all friendly. This is much more fun.

Hehe, 'Which sentient race doesn't know of the Caroleans?' These are Ponies! And it seems that they KNOW about War here, since Fluttershy was winching. Keep up the good work! Love the chapter!

I must say, the ponies are quite rude, HMPF! typical of equines, no manners whatsoever!

Well that's not a chapter title you usually see.

>>722304722304

Yeeeeeeaaasshshh.

Snarky and sarcastic, KEEP HIM THAT WAY.

I like where this is going A LOT.

I'll be honest, I don't like human in Equestria stories a lot since they tend to either be people who desperately want their character to befriend the Mane 6 or a clopfic with the same idea.

But this is genius.

>>737886737886

That's exactly where the writers of those stories go wrong. They force the interactions between the human and the ponies, throwing off the flow AND the pace of their stories. Slow development and pacing is a key factor in all decent stories.

Very nice

Me F**king Gusta(fv).

This is surprisingly good

Keep up the good work, and hope we hear from this soon enough

>>761414761414

Next chapter is hopefully out in a couple of hours.

>>761428761428

Sounds great

And it seems that Twilight is going to meet Human engineering in Death. I mean, really? Is he going to kill her?

..............click....jamed....or just backfires and leaves gunpowder all oveer his face comicly.

Oh wow, this is getting exciting

Yes! Finally, someone who gets the medieval fanatic right! I have seen too many ideas where the fanatic is instantly converted to believing in non blasphemous magic. Moustache to you

Agree with this guy above me. :)

I moustache to you too, and this interesting fanfic

I don't really want to point this out, seeing as how this is rapidly becoming one of my favourite HiE fics, but...

'This hurts like a bitch.'

... That kind of breaks disbelief a little. I doubt that that phrase was used by _any_ 18th century person - let alone a Swedish one. Feel free to prove me wrong, but otherwise remember that the story is being told by an 18th century soldier, and so his usage of modern phrases should be, well, incredibly limited at best. I'd say 'try "dickens"' but that would appear to be a fairly English thing.

>>767423767423

It's not that easy to limit the vocabulary I can use when I write this story, so it's bound to be some slip-ups from time to time. I try my best to make it as believable as I can, but it's not the easiest thing to do, though.

Thanks for pointing it out, I'll see what I can do to change it.

Ooh - a pre-Enlightenment (well, it clearly hasn't reached _him_ yet, has it?), man of faith! I forgot how much fun they could be when taken out of their element. Obviously, you're not going to kill Twilight - that would turn too many people off the fic. Considering how close a Carolean needs to be before they fire, I also doubt he'll miss. So, either she has a shield, after learning of the 'mini-cannon', or he wounds her, thereby provoking a Flutterrage which will result in him being incapacitated (I don't care how much religious fervor is running through your veins - you take a hit from a pony, possibly at waist height, after having broken several ribs, and you are _not_ going to be threatening anything for quite some time). Depending on how fast you want to move the story, I would recommend having him break her horn for maximum 'oh, crap' value.

Very realistic presentation indeed. Back then, people could indeed blame acts of disbelief on magic -> witchcraft -> witches, and kill women by the dozens.

I like this par,t but is it me or is this chapter a bit... short? I don't know, it's a good ending thought, nice cliffhanger.... cliffhanger huh?... *smacks you*

Anyway, nice job. Next one yay!!!

very good, i'd like to see where this goes

Well, that's one way of defying all expectations.

And _damn_, I want to see what angry, vindictive Celestia does with _this_!

Slightly irritated by how easily Twilight was defeated, but surprise + pain hardly make for the best of conditions to react, so... I guess, I can let that slide.

++++Words of Defiance+++(Warhammer 40K)

"Here we stand and here we shall die, unbroken and unbowed, though the very hand of death itself come for us, we will spit our defiance to the END!"

-Revered-Ancient Titus, during the last stand on Khymara Elipsis+++

This new Chapter certainly gave me Goosebumps that's for sure since its never a small-feet to Defy does who truly hold your life in there hand or rather in this case in there hooves and even more so if the one is a Goddess in her own right that will snuff you with just a thought. But nevertheless we are humans or more precise humanity, of whom that has stood for millennium of continuous bloodshed. And yet, do we not still stand tall amongst this unforgiving world, our backs unbent, our heads unbowed? Humanity survives because we, as a race, will stand shoulder to shoulder when those who seek to destroy us come for our lives and even if we are alone we remembered those who stood as well. We prevail against a our enemies that would see us dead, because one man would willingly sacrifice his own existence to save that of another.

Nice, very nice. Only wish the chapter could be a bit longer but I assume that's because you have too little time on your hands. But that's ok, I respect that wish we are given.

>>875943875943

Oh yeah? Drive me closer, I want to hit them with my sword!!!!

>>876094876094

:LOL!!!

Image: http://ib.equestrianet.org/pony/src/1328945026145.jpg

Image: http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/7/20/9b46d58c-5eee-4143-b3d2-47f52df7d399.jpg

Image: http://e621.net/data/sample/22/15/2215392df4c54b001b85c0eebf1e11ae.jpg?1338963164

>>876271876271

Image: http://img.ponibooru.org/_images/b5e303a56f4f49476caa33752572c8e0/11487%20-%20commissar%20crossover%20drive_me_closer%20fluttershy%20fluttertank%20hat%20sword%20tank%20warhammer_40k.jpg

Image: http://img.ponibooru.org/_images/f6348519e158069fa9835dc212ee2553/86765%20-%20drive_me_closer%20rainbow_dash%20tank%20turtle%20warhammer_40k.png

>>876285876285

Image: http://img.ponibooru.org/_images/61e02a28ff7e438334dc93130bcc2e9e/94060%20-%2040k%20artist%3Alaaseensld%20fluttershy%20space_marine%20warhammer_40k.jpg

>>876332876332

This thread is unclean. PURIFY IT!!!!!

Image: http://www.3t-studios.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/the_1st_applejack_regiment_by_laaseensld-d4d148c.jpg

>>876342876342

Start with this Guy then, if you you can.

Image: http://static.fjcdn.com/comments/I+don+t+think+the+Combine+would+stand+up+too+long+_e913bd2c0f685ef9d6349a86e54ec863.jpg

>>876365876365

picture isn't showing

None the less:

Image: http://www.lowbird.com/data/images/2011/03/4chan-1299127136383.png

That was probably the most intimidated human encounter with the princess I've ever read. And as great as this is, it's really funny.

>>876377876377

Well if you say so then.

Image: http://booru.ehkzai.com/index.php?q=/image/15081.jpg

>>876391876391

Image: http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2010/002/4/2/Blood_for_the_Blood_God_by_Vorodor.jpg

>>876402876402

LOL

Image: http://www.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/133383700765.jpg

>>876418876418

Oh yeah!

Image: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4OYGjUrdllo/SXzWr7TPhcI/AAAAAAAAPwI/qrDJE3h-_EA/s400/3221075751_4f0985e4e0.jpg

>>876425876425

HELL YEAH!!!

Image: http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/067/1/8/rainbow_dash_40k___yay__by_stasushka-d4r6x54.png

>>876446876446

Hmmmm...

Image: http://www.aaanything.net/wp-content/gallery/funny-december-start/dr_house_do_want.jpg

Image: http://img.ponibooru.org/_images/295e498ae62ca9b984629cb68f6e9e02/87338%20-%20artist%3Alaaseensld%20balloon%20cutie_mark%20flamethrower%20highres%20parody%20pinkie_pie%20ponified%20space_marine%20warhammer_40k%20weapon.jpg

>>876488876488

Image: http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5tZId2_BY9dXDq7iqdgWa8jibunFdax5YM8f-JXM3-VRZSHbp

Image: http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/363/3/2/my_rare_hesperax_by_hattonslayden-d35k7or.jpg

Come Get her then LOL

>>876513876513

Image: http://img.ponibooru.org/_images/0256c8c3602d6ac8444ccd626cf78ec9/155165%20-%20animated%20macro%20mother_of_god%20spitfire.gif

Image: http://img.ponibooru.org/_images/2e76c0a177470c35199bc6df15bcee61/86912%20-%20do_want%20Fluttergasm%20fluttershy.jpg

Image: http://th01.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2011/284/9/a/prepare_yahr_anus_thar_by_voaxmasterspydre-d4ciz2d.png

>>876546876546

Image: http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2011/296/b/a/mlp__dirty_mind_by_alcasar_reich-d4dpavu.jpg

Image: http://img.ponibooru.org/_images/412eecfea020f6b5c09897c5f382b8e7/175350%20-%20applejack%20artist%3AJ-Brony%20deal_with_it%20glasses.png

>>876608876608

Image: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0CW2yhetW_A/TkrpAJu13_I/AAAAAAAAABw/jmCj09P3gtc/s1600/4_1.png

Image: http://th03.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2012/190/f/e/fluttercultist_by_unicornsketch-d56k4n1.png

Image: http://img.ponibooru.org/_images/f36eb513aab22717e151b8e9b331e59c/53756%20-%20artist%3Aconicer%20fluttershy%20mega_yay%20rainbow_dash%20yay.png

>>876638876638

Image: http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120315011056/theamazingworldofgumball/images/8/89/Brohoof.jpg

Image: http://img-cache.cdn.gaiaonline.com/917ae5427c153fe4cf972316b8e9f929/http://i1198.photobucket.com/albums/aa456/Herp-a-derp-/1292057360023-n1292475595998.jpg

>>876446876446

>>876762876762

Guys, you're kind of raping my notifications.

>>876778876778

Sorry man, it's just...

Image: http://www.determinismsucks.net/archive/dat_ass_twilight-(n1292666867367).jpg

This amount of fun has swag written all over it.

Awwww, evil cliffhanger!!!!!

>>876778876778

Yeah So Sorry About that and well it was mostly my fault since I got caught up in the moment.

Image: http://pinkie.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/133954258182.png

It certainly won't happen Again

>>876850876850

I swear this is the last time!!!!!

Image: http://cdn.head-fi.org/c/c2/c2b991ba_Twilicious_by_johnjoseco.png

Image: http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r61/Tater_Salad187/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-the-number-of-hates-i-dont-give.jpg

>>882067882067

Sure man

>>882048882048

'S cool.

It would be too anti-climactic for it to end in an execution or suddenly being scot-free

>>884486884486

Pfft, like I'd ever do something like that.

>>884586884586

That's what I'd hope, can't wait for the next chapter then

nice chapter

I was so intrigued by this, before I knew, I had finished the chapter in a matter of a minute or 3

This story is so entertaining and well done but I would love to see a bit of a long chapter if possible.

I know it's not always easy to write a new chapter but I'm sure you could, if given more time, make it a bit longer?

Either way, thanks for this chapter and those before it so far, it's a very intriguing story

This fic hardly put us Swedes in a good light in Equestria eh?

Well, I have to say I wasn't expecting this. A simple soldier talking down the immortal sovereign of a nation who has experienced more in her vast lifetime than Gustafv?

Needless to say, I'm not too pleased with these developments. While Gustafv may have a point, Celestia could easily bear down over a thousand years of said experiences down on him. I cannot say I am happy with this development, but will wait for the next chapter.

>>10064131006413

It's all in the eyes of the beholder.

>>10066511006651

Well then, I hope I can satisfy with the implications of Gustafv's rant that I will feature in the coming chapters. No one, human or pony mess with Princess Celestia.

I love how Gustafv doesn't kiss flank. Thank you for making my faith in HiE Return to me!

>>10393161039316

A Carolean dies before losing ground.

Moar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NOAW!GIMMEH MOOAR!!!!!!!

You will give us more and you will like it!

Since when did the Swedes use metric in the early 18th century?

"Down, snake! Down on your belly!" - Gandalf

Her voice was soft, almost meek.

I don't know what the intentions of the writer are for Gustafv. Right now I'm feeling annoyed and the urge to watch him get his head kicked in.

I mean...

’‘Remember this; if it wasn’t for Princess Celestia, I would have snapped your neck days ago without a second thought. I would never hesitate. Then or now.’’

I certainly hope you are not expecting me to root for this guy. I can't care for him except eagerly awaiting his demise now. The way he speaks, the way he acts. It annoys me greatly.

Needless to say, I feel this story is on its last legs for me. I do not care for the "protagonist" and I use that term very loosely here. At this point I am hoping for a turnaround to get me to like him. For some reason I do not forsee this.

On a technical side, I noticed your quotation marks are off. Might be something you should look into. Just looks funny.

>>10746261074626

The next chapter is when he will have to make a turn after Celestia's punishment. I have it planned out and ready to go, but I will wait to write it down. I don't see him as a hero, nor as a protagonist. It's almost like an anti-hero, or an antagonist getting some light, like Gilda in the episode.

I certainly don't want anyone to feel like you do about it, but hopefully the next chapter I release will make it a little better. I'll look into what you meant with the quotation marks, thanks for giving me a heads-up!

Hurm, either I'm blind or something, but was there a part where Gustafv's appearance was described? Having a bit of a time imagining his looks.

>>10973951097395

It will be coming in the chapter, where Rarity talks about his uniform...

But here's a quick run-down on his appearance so that you won't have to wait; He's somewhat tall, with a fairly strong build from all of his training. He has shoulder-length hair, which is tied in the back of his neck. The hair is a brilliant blonde and he has ice-blue eyes. His uniform is like the one on the cover picture of the story, but right now in the story he's only wearing his shoes, breeches, hat and cloak. His cloak is open, revealing his bandages from the fight against the manticore.

I'll try and get a better flowing description in the next chapter.

>>10974601097460

I did somehow imagine him having blonde hair. So he's a fairly strong build huh, been imagining him having a bit of a gut, for some reason.

Thanks for the quick description.

...................Celestia just did the worst possable thing.............and im not Rarity..........