First!!!

Second! God, you're good.

Ah yes... Soon Celestia will be back up to her old prowess as the Demon Lord of the Everfree...  

The Demon Lord and her sister, Midnight Wing.

Please don't bring back tyrant celestia please luna!

Badass Celestia/Luna.

Luna is just trying to get her sister to understand the difference between being in power and HAVING power.

Ah. Celestia is learning her place. Let's hope she does not forget her duty.

Prolly need to explain a bit more. Won't.

Tracked. Liked.

>>700352700352 This. All of my this.

When Luna is done with Celestia.

SHE WILL KICK QUEEN CHRYSALIS'S ASS. OH YEAH.

Personally i was very disappionted with A Canterlot Wedding's  scene of Celestia's losing.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Ok, very important question. How will Twilight and the Mane 6 handle Celestia the Warrior. After all ,they're used to dealing with Celestia the kind hearted.

YAYYYYYY New story!!!!!!!

I'm loveing the plot so far! Have a mustache or two.

"if you can dodge a clod of mud, you can dodge a bolt of magic."

Was that inspired by Dodgeball?

>>703351703351 yup.

Wait. you already had this up here. why did you delete it then re upload it?

>>703483703483 I axed it, developed it, then reloaded it weeks later.

>>703487703487

Ah okay.

Ok, I see a few little tweaks here and there, but this is pretty much the same as the prologue and first chapter from the first run. I liked them the first time around, no real extra comments this time for content.  I did notice a few items you might want to look at on the grammar side, though.  

Where Luna was discussing her usefulness in supporting Celestia in the fight against Queen Chrysalis, Luna said:

“If we had been there, we might’ve been smote as easily as thou.”  

It just feels awkward, maybe swap it for:

"If we had been there, we might've been laid low as easily as thou."

Moving a little further in the conversation, Luna says:

“You have lived in a millennia of peace and prosperity, it is what happens when thou has no worthy opponents or means to keep thy edge.”

That would be more accurate if it read as:

“You have lived in a millennium of peace and prosperity, it is what happens when thou has no worthy opponents or means to keep thy edge.”[

Moving down to Celestia talking about her training options:

“Perhaps if I hired a personal trainer, or went to spar with the palace guard, or…” she trailed off, for none of those sounded like good ideas.

Drop the "for", it's not necessary this time around, and removing it improves the dynamic of the sentence.

Moving further down to their initial trip to the Midnight Wheel, you had this:

“Well… I guess I am overdue for the exercise.” The white alicorn admitted.

Swap the period in the quote for a comma, and you're good there.

Moving down to the preparation for the first training session, Luna's comment:

The ashen grey stallion nodded, saluting. “Bore off my regalia and store it.” She commanded.

I'd suggest replacing "Bore" with "Bear", or perhaps be even more explicit and replace the command with "Remove my regalia and store it,"  (Oh, and again you need to replace the period with a comma to end the speech there, and drop the capitalization on "She.")

And immediately after that:

Celestia side-stepped a little, for both ponies came forward and stripped Luna naked.

Replace "for" with "as", it improves the action dynamic of the sentence.

Now, let's see what you did with the next chapter.

Just as good the second time around.  It's probably a good thing that neither Aegis nor Stalwart are artistically inclined, I'm sure that the urge to immortalize Celestia's time on the balance spires with some sketches at least would have been hard to resist.

I see a few more tweaks from the original version (nice added bit with Luna letting her guards indulge in a bit of discrete observation of a heavenly body at repose.)  Everything still looks good, now let's see where you take things from here.  Celestia's got a bit of her old combat trim back, and she's being more aggressive in court that probably any pony in recent times has ever seen.  It's time to see where this leads, and I'm all strapped in and ready for the ride.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Rainbow_dealwithit.png

There is a difference in having power and being in power.

But, power corrupts, as Celestia had stated. And absolute power currupts absolutely.

"Power without limits is to give a child a loaded gun."

Celestia is not a tyrant, far from it. Luna is merely suggesting that she use her position and power to make sure everypony knows that her word is in fact law, and she is capable of anything.

AWESOME. But remember that they are sisters and although Luna is mean she is also quite kind hearted. I would like more jokes and a lighter tone

>>707745707745 *points at dark tag*

AWESOME

First I was'"time to go to sleep."

Than I was "fanfic updated!"

Than I was "who needs sleep? Must read!"

First! But on a more important note...

Chef's last name is Ontop. Very similar to Onatopp... as in...

Image: http://images.wikia.com/deadliestfiction/images/c/c9/XeniaOnatopp.jpg

this kind of Onatopp!

Sorry for the gratuitous Goldeneye joke, but I couldn't resist. All the same, hint hint!

Yay, Celestia is changing and seemingly for the better. The pink mane was a surprise, kind of makes sense that it might've become diluted as Celestia got weaker.

Cheesecake is the best kind of cake.

Celestia's actions were appropriate.  A pastry chef should be prepared to make ALL the cake, but especially the best cake.

Very nice so far. Keep it up!

I can see where this is going.

And I'm liking it! Continue...

>> "Cheesecake. Cold, chilled cheesecake with a drizzle of strawberry sauce."

Aww... I need to go to sleep and you've made me hungry.  Argh, you.  Argh.  

>>708998708998

Seconded. Luckily the mobile bakery stops around my block in 54 minutes. Oh man. I'm buying two...

Getting back into shape, getting younger and more alive. And Luna seems to be ramming a steel pipe where her spine should be.

I would love to see how Twilight reacts to the new (old?) Celestia.

"Did you know, there are three kinds of ponies?"

"Those who have strength."

"Those who live to fly."

"And those who can feel the flow of magic."

"Those are the three..."

"But her...?"

*Starts to hum 'Zero'*

Celestia acted inappropriately here, and the comparison with an unkempt soldier doesn't work. A good ruler sets expectations and punishes ONLY when those expectations are not met. The expectation (presumably) is that a soldier will be well groomed and professional, and as such Celestia would be right to dismiss a slovenly guard. But for Cherry to act as he did indicates that similar actions in the past were accepted without comment and thus he had no way of knowing that today should be different. Celestia would be well within her rights to ask Cherry to go out of his way to provide the cheesecake, but (again presumably) precedent had been established and Celestia should not have humiliated him publicly for acting in a manner consistent with his past performance. A ruler that privately changes her requirements and then punishes her subjects when they don't meet them inspires fear, not respect.

If, however, you're setting Celestia up to descend into tyranny, then disregard.

I like how she's turning into Molestia. I assume that the next stages will be Tyrant Celestia and Trollestia before she assumes her ultimate form: Hasbro Celestia

Image: http://fim.413chan.net/fim/src/132320638838-celestia-toy-pink.png

i am not sure if i like new cellestia

why luna WHYYYYY!

Now I want cheesecake.

>>711047711047

Buck you, I love new Celestia. With that grammar you don't get to have an opinion.

Can't say I like this version of Luna. I feel there's no love between the two, or if there is, it's one sided from Celestia only. If anything, I feel Luna here is in in need of some serious beating up till the point where she has no teeth left. Someone who betrayed her country by not showing up at all while their was a national crisis and enemy invasion should shut the buck up about Celestia's prowess, and do some serious self-reflecting first before she starts giving advice or any kind of training to others. Furthermore, her lack of respect for the Equestria that Celestia succeeded in creating is apalling, and her pride in her training is entirely misplaced. Especially since she didn't use that training to take down Chrysalis at all and was nowhere to be found when her subjects needed her. Please, Luna, stop bragging and start being ashamed of yourself, and give back that crown. A Princess who doesn't move to defend her subjects is not worthy of the title, no matter how much she trained. At least Celestia tried, which is more than we can say of you! If I were Celestia, I'd say :"Well, since you can obviously do it all better, DO IT YOURSELF. I spent 1000 years working my flank off to do your duties on top of my own just because pwetty wittle Luna felt jealous because ponies didn't like her pwecious night. I'm taking a well-deserved 1000 year vacation! Now if you'll excuse me, there are palm trees, sun, sea and sand waiting for me. Have fun on that throne."

That's not to say this is badly written, mind you. It's not, your writing is excellent and you have a great grasp of style, grammer and scenery painting. I just don't like the content. I guess I'm just tired of Celestia-abuse when she really doesn't deserve half of the shit she has to put up with from the fandom. I wanna see Celestia kick some flank for a change, without her having to undergo belittling and mockery and insults from Luna first. Guess I'll just have to write that myself.

Good luck with the rest of your story, though given the quality of your writing, you don't really need much luck to begin with.

Aegis, you've been writing Luna-centric stories so long, you've become stuck.

You're writing about Celestia here, but as this tale goes on she's becoming more and more like Luna.

Do yourself a favor: Write in the sunlight, not the moonlight.

I can't wait for the next chapter.  I love this story.

I'd like to add that Celestia was completely unreasonable to that gardener in the latest chapter. All she had to do was *explain* why she did not want him there and why that spot was important to her. Instead, she terrorized him until he ran screaming. And that's the pony Luna wants her to become? Yeah, Celestia, do yourself a favour and tell Luna where she can shove it before you ruin your relationship with all of Equestria any further.

>>709186709186

Dude, mobile bakery?    We need one of those around here!  Working a graveyard shift!  That's be epic!

>>711180711180 I kinda agree with you. Luna was probably having a private time with her harem/guards.

Time to show Lulu the difference between the Morning Star and a chunk of rock in the sky.

Is it just me, or is Luna a friggin' dick?

I feel Celestia reaction to Green Thumb was justified. GOD told you to knock it the fuck off in a super polite way, and you just brush her off TWICE!? Fuckin Green Thumb.

I can see Luna being brought back down to Earth sometime in the next few chapters. I hope, as she starting to get just a smidge Mary-Sue. "Oh Celestia, I'm stronger than you and all the guards loves me and your guards suck and the only way for you to be better is to be just like me." This better not end with NLR.

>>711178711178 i do apologize dear sir or madam. i was not at my finest at the time. have a mustache in repayment for having to suffer through that sentence.

.

Celestia frowned at nothing, cocking her head. When had been the last time she’d had a stallion to warm her bed, even for a night?

_____________________________________________

Uhhh. Forgotten Mr Eyupp, already?

>>711711711711

Actually that's not sueish, arrogance is a flaw within itself.

>>711469711469

It was completely justified, you're just butthurt over you're specific interpretation of Celestia not being in the story.

Are you guys trolling. Nobody can be this stupid... But seriously, stop with your inane and moronic opinions, I for one want this guy to finish the story as I very much enjoyed reading it, so much in fact that I'm willing to go into the comments and deal with children like you. And if the author is reading this, please don't change the course of the fic based upon the opinions of people who can't even capitalize there words (E.G those who should have stayed in facebook with there schoolyard chums) among other things.

>>712001712001

Yes, heaven forbid someone has an opinion that's different from your own and doesn't like something you happen to like. Of course their reasons are completely invalid and retarded and stupid, and of course they have to be trolling. How could anybody NOT agree with your amazing opinion, after all? Honestly: grow up. Not everyone's going to like this, and I have every right to say why I don't like it as you have to say you do like it. I'm even enough of a good sport to admit this story is well written, I just don't agree with the content. And I managed to say so without having to resort to petty insults, unlike you. Take some notes. Having events in your story challenged by your readers are good ways to improve, to  spot holes in your plot or flaws in your reasoning. You learn a lot more from somebody telling you (politely, I might add) what he did or did not like than someone saying "OMG so gud I luv it write moar!".

And no, it wasn't justified. She bullied him, nothing more, nothing less. All she had to do was explain it, calm and nicely, and she would have gotten a much better result. Now she terrorized one of her subjects into doing her bidding. She told him off and suddenly attacked (for the lack of a better word) him and didn't even tell him why. And when he didn't obey her blindly like a mindless slave, she terrorized him into doing it. That's not justified. That's tyranny. If she had explained why she didn't want him there, he would have understood just as well, and he wouldn't actually run off screaming being terrified of her.

And I really wouldn't attack anyone's grammar or spelling when you can't even tell the difference between 'their' and 'there', or the proper use of 'you're' and 'your'.

>>712096712096

Are you insane, I would have fired that gardener as he was completely out of line, she was fully justified and was extremely lenient actually. Just the fact that you think that at all completely nullifies your argument, who the hell is that deluded.

Clearly, you just don't like the fact that Celestia has been portrayed differently then from your own interpretation.

Also, "Yes, heaven forbid someone has an opinion that's different from your own and doesn't like something you happen to like. Of course their reasons are completely invalid and retarded and stupid, and of course they have to be trolling. How could anybody NOT agree with your amazing opinion, after all?" now you're getting it, some people aren't smart enough to have an opinion.

>>712117712117

How was he out of line? He was doing his job. Out of the blue comes Celestia telling him to buck off as if he doesn't know his job. When he tries to assure her he does, she starts to yell at him, and eventually she utterly terrorizes him just because he was doing his job and she didn't even tell him why. My argument isn't disputed at all, you simply can't come up with a proper counter. You still haven't said why her doing it the way I suggested it would in any way not have worked. Oh, that's right, because it would have worked just as well as acting like a tyrant did, if not better.

Indeed, some people are better off without having an opinion, you being one of them. If you can't even accept the fact that not everybody's going to love what you love and can't stay civil about it, then you really have no place being on the internet.

>>712117712117

I'm sure that Twilight will set Celestia straight, once she knows whats going on. That's if Celestia doesn't come clean herself.

>>712146712146

You're kidding right? ....Seriously? you really can't see what he was doing wrong? I'm not even going to explain it, I am however going to accuse you of the following:

I bet you are a member of PETA, Greenpeace,  The church. Because you my friends are showing levels of stupidity on the same level as Christians, which means profoundly deluded.

Shitstorm above!

Also, Luna's getting a little bit too cocky.

>>712188712188

Bravo! How long did it take you to come up with such a mature reply? You won't explain it? I know why: because you can't explain it. And because you can't explain it, you resort to petty insults because you really can't come up with anything better to say. In fact, notice how you completely avoid all the points I make? Because you can't come up with an intelligent rebutal. And because that frustrates you so much, you start insulting me to make yourself feel better. I pity you, really.

Please, try and answer this: why would her explaining the situation not have worked? What exactly did the gardener do wrong? He was doing his job. Did he know that that spot was special to Celestia? No. Did Celestia tell him it was special? No. Was he simply there because working in the garden is his job? Yes. Do you really think he wouldn't have understood if Celestia said: "Please, do not continue your work here. A dear friend of me is burried here and I fear your work might unearth her remains." There, that was all it would have taken. No threatening needed, no violence, no anger. That's not deluded, that's logic.

But please, do ignore my post again and please do insult me some more, you are truly proving your maturity here. Or you could in fact grow up and actually address the points I make instead of making poor excuses and insulting my persona because you can't come up with anything better to say. I'd be interested in hearing why Celestia had to act tyrant in this case, but you don't provide any reasoning besides "she had to! she had to! she had to!". That's all nice and dandy, but I'd like to know why. "because he did wrong! because he did wrong! because he did wrong". That's very nice, darling, but do tell what he did wrong, if you can, which I sincerely doubt.

>>712251712251

That is an excellent and valid point my good sir, let me offer a rebuttal.

The Counter Argument.

>>712352712352

Please, try and answer this: why would her explaining the situation not have worked? What exactly did the gardener do wrong? He was doing his job. Did he know that that spot was special to Celestia? No. Did Celestia tell him it was special? No. Was he simply there because working in the garden is his job? Yes. Do you really think he wouldn't have understood if Celestia said: "Please, do not continue your work here. A dear friend of me is burried here and I fear your work might unearth her remains." There, that was all it would have taken. No threatening needed, no violence, no anger. That's not deluded, that's logic.

>>712365712365

Seriously, after being told directly? very well then let me explain, the reason why the gardener was in the wrong is because he disrespected his superior and basically told her to fob off in addition to being insensitive and attempting to walk all over a god, just because he's pathetic and unfortunate does not mean he is in the right.

Also in regards to you:

Image: http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/005/545/OpoQQ.jpg

Are you serious?

>>712381712381

I'm very much serious, yes, thank you. How did he disrespect her? He was doing his job, nothing more. Suddenly Celestia came in and told him he had watered that spot enough, implying he doesn't know his job. That's more disrespect from her side than from him. But he simply eases her fears and tells her that he knows his job. He didn't tell her to buck off, she told him to buck off. How was he being insensitive? How did he try to walk over her? He was just doing his job when Celestia came and started to question his doings for seemingly no reason (remember: HE didn't know that that spot was special to her, and she never explained). All he tried to do was to take care of the gardens as he was supposed to do. The fact that she is his princess doesn't mean he has to blindly obey her, or that he doesn't have the right to speak for himself. What, if Celestia told him to jump off a cliff, should he just obey blindly, too?

Basically, this whole situation could have been avoided if Celestia had simply explained the situation to him. "Please, do not continue your work here. A dear friend of me is burried here and I fear your work might unearth her remains." There's no indication he's a mean pony, so he surely would have understood that, said "Of course, you're highness, pardon me," and moved on.

I suggest you rewatch "Putting your hoof down", as the situation is very much the same as what Fluttershy did and what she did wrong. There is no need to be assertive when the situation can be resolved through more peaceful, easier and respectful means that will leave both sides satisfied. It's fine that Celestia wants to become stronger so that a repeat of the Chrysalis situation doesn't happen. It's fine if she puts snotty nobles who are out for their own interests in their place. But when she starts to bully her castle staff, then that is most definately not fine. I hope that once Luna finds out she won't approve and reminds Celestia of this.

>>712420712420

Are you real?

>>712454712454

Very much so. Compare the gardener scene from "Putting your hoof down" to the one we had here. Green Thumb may have been hard-ears, and he may have watered the plants too much, just like the gardener Fluttershy dealt with. So he made a mistake. Neither warranted the response they received. Not from Fluttershy and not from Celestia. Again, all Celestia had to do was say: "Please, do not continue your work here. A dear friend of me is burried here and I fear your work might unearth her remains. Please leave." Explain to him why she did not want him there. Perhaps on a somewhat firmer tone to leave no room for discussion. But there was no need to give him a heart attack by terrorizing him, just like Fluttershy's violent reaction to the gardener in "Putting your hoof down" was also unwaranted. That wasn't justified, that was tyrannical. Just like Fluttershy's behaviour wasn't her being justly assertive, she was just being a bully and a jerk.

>>712525712525

OK first of all, I disagree because the gardener was being obnoxious and Celestia respectfully asked him to stop, he ignored her and therefore rightfully incurred her wrath. Just because what fluttershy did was wrong does not mean that this is the exact same situation, get a grip on reality man.

SECONDLY, let me rephrase my question:

Image: http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/101/623/are-u-a-WIZARD0.jpg

>>712556712556

My grip on reality is quite secure, thank you. Being confident in your own abilities and being obnoxious are not the same thing. As I said, he was stubborn. It still didn't justify her reaction. If you have to rule by terrorizing your people into doing your bidding, you're on the wrong side of the moral scale. Maybe it's time you opened your eyes to reality? He earned a reprimanding, perhaps a lecture. He did not earn her wrath. Now he fears her, and what good does that do? What good a monarch will she be if she scares everypony into doing what she wants? Then she is no different from Nightmare Moon.

>>712586712586

.....Y'know what, OK, you win this argument out of pity. You're right, Celestia was a meanie and deserves to be put in tiem out. I'm sorry I doubted you and your wizard magic.

"sees argument" "MA! Get the popcorn!"

Though i agree he ignored the princess twice and thats what made her mad. She may have gone overboard

>>711469711469 dont you think thats her plan?

>>711272711272

Come away oh human child, take me by the hand,

for there is far more weeping in the world, than you could understand.

Travel through light, under trees, into shadows,

And see the sun's dead, hidden away, deep in the barrows.

>>712586712586>>712619712619

Goodness, I come home from a long day's work and see that my new story has tons and tons of new comments, and I look through them only to find the two of you arguing with each other. My little ponies, it's okay to have a difference of opinion. Much like the fate of the Moon Champion in "Luna's Story 2: Wrath of the Moon Champion", I wrote this part to be controversial on purpose. The fact that it inspires emotion in both of you means I'm doing my job right. But, I didn't mean to inspire such hatred between my readers. Please don't argue so hard anymore, all that energy can be spent writing other things, or analyzing what I've written, even!

Anyway, how about this? Since the two of you have spent so much time tangling with one another, perhaps you could do me a favor? I'd like both of you to write one more comment about this chapter, express your opinions and justify them. Don't argue with one another, either. I lost BOTH of your original thoughts in the verifiable shitstorm you two caused. I do care about what you have to say. Let's just return to our corners and wait for the next chapter, huhm?

Vivas Noctus!

~Aegis Shield

>>711868711868 Different story, different timeline.

>>713970713970

Bahhhhhh. Big Mac and Celestia are just taking a break.

"...even though it was a little vein."

Should be vain. "Vain" is the character trait, "vein" is a part of the circulatory system, returning deoxygenated blood to the lungs. Otherwise, I like how it's coming along. Keep it up, slip in some Celestia/Luna conflict here or there, maybe bring back Nightmare Moon. My good friend Mr. Spike here says that would be a very good idea, if you know what I mean... In all seriousness, good work.

I have this feeling that Celestia's going to rip half of equestria apart by the end of this story just to get her ONE slice of cheesecake (with strawberry topping drizzled all over it)

I feel a certain amount of Pity for Luna, who's likely going to be standing in the way.  

>>711180711180 The truth is that Luna is actually not strong. Lauren Faust said that Luna actually lost her powers which was why in the first episode after she was changed back her hair was just blue. In the wedding she was only strong enough to stay up nights and did not have any strength in the day. That was also why she only appeared later that night. Although the writer is amazing he didn't follow the word of god. And as much as I love the flirty luna please don't make celestia some sort of playful slut. Only our dear luna can pull that off.

>>713756713756

Well I have absolutely no criticism for this chapter, really enjoyed it personally. I think the way you've moved away from training and more into the effects of the training has added depth to the story.

The way I read things in this chapter...  When Celestia reprimanded Green Thumb for blowing her off, she was likely going for 'stern' but has likely long forgotten just how intimidating a goddess is when being 'stern'.  And further since ponies who could handle goddes level 'stern' are long dead and buried, didn't think to dial back her response.   I would suspect that her threatening posturing wasn't even a conscious decision, but rather old instincts kicking in her body remembers, but her mind has forgotten.

In other words, Celestia made no judgement errors in her actions, just doesn't realize how much 'force' she needs to get her point across yet now that she's getting things back into gear.

Anywho, I have a critisicm to point out in the story that the Author should probably address.  The way things are written, its implied that Celestia USED TO HAVE this edge she's training for, and was quite the pony badass.  However, during the training scenes, she's treated as if she's a rank amateur who's never seen combat before, while Luna's got aeons of experience.

I find this dynamic 'broken'.  

Celestia is 'rusty', not new.  Luna shouldn't be lecturing Celestia on lessons about how combat works, Celestia's known them for centuries.  She should be getting reminders of the 'you do remember-' and 'you used to be able to' variety, but not explicit lessons that explain everything to her like she's a recruit.

The other is Luna's boast.  Unfortunately, while its impressive to think she's been training for a thousand years, no amount of training can be worth even five minutes of live combat experience.  Luna was on the moon, by herself.  There's nopony to fight.  There's no way for her to test out that which she's learned, or to refine her tactics and skills in relation to an actual living, thinking opponent.

So at best, Luna would, at least in this story, be a shock-trooper.  She has a strong mastery of herself, and all her moves can be pulled off FLAWLESSLY...  But the moment the fighting conditions move away from her control, or in fact, the moment she has anything like a real fight with a physical equal, she becomes a glass canon.  She has no real grasp of how ANY opponent is going to react to anything she's refined in the last 1000 years.  

Celestia on the other hand, has been interacting with ponies for the last thousand years.  While she has not been fighting, she's has experience dealing with the mechanations and manipulations of the quick-witted in the court.  She's mentally conditioned to adapt to her fighting environment... She just has to realize it.

Between the two... I'd say that once Celestia gets up to speed and it clicks that she doesn't have to obey the routines and rules Luna's been using, she wipes the playing field with her little sister so hard it's not even funny.  Her body remembers what it means to fight.  She's rusty, but once that rust gets cleaned off, there's a steel blade hiding benieth it.

>>714895714895

Second.

Back to me, I feel as if this will end badly.

>>711272711272 That's the idea.

>>714895714895 Yep.

Yep.

Yep.

Yep.

...right on all counts, I'd say. Good logic skills.

That whole insane argument Xavier and Jericho were having?

Excuse me, but Celestia is not only the RULER of Equestria, but she is also a GODDESS.

Would you talk down to the ruler of your nation? Would you disregard the words of a deity?

And when one is both at once? YOU OBEY!

If it was Princess Luna in that situation, the gardener would have been immediately arrested by the guards and thrown into the dungeon for a night and a day.  Celestia is still much more tolerant than her sister in regards to proper respect for herself.

I wanna sleep!

Celestia and the climber and the gaurd and the cheesecake and the!!! Gah!! This story rocks!

You get some well earned moustaches.

Also, FIRST

This going to have a Bad End, isn't it?

Ok, A question. Will Luna encourage this.......monster or not

Though this has been foreshadowed for awhile, it's interesting to see a bit more 'obvious' evidence. Luna's up to something, and I doubt it's for Celestia's true benefit.

>>711469711469 Did you not see putting your hoof down? The same garderner is in that episode and when Fluttershy asked him to stop he simply blew her off. He got what he deserved. you DO NOT defy your princess. Plus he was defiling a grave of a pony important to Celestia, so ya i think he got off easy,If i had been Tia he'd gotten much worse.

>>714673714673 Eh i think it was funny. "Oh Bubble bath, at least give me dinner and wine first." Brillantly hilarious

"The first thing a god masters is itself." -Legion

That was Luna's mistake. She assumed her sister had the discipline to handle that power in a modern setting, but she was wrong.

Image: http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzxnygcpuY1qesiyk.gif

This is my awesome siren right now!

It clearly says that Green Thumb was DROWNING the mums.  Clearly Celestia was right to ask him to stop, and he refused.  And maybe she didn't tell anypony that Flower Power was buried there because it's MORBID.

This fic is most excellent.

I know where this is going...

and I like it!

>>710015710015

A very valid point to which I agree.  A simple change in the end of her reaction by extending some kindness like, say, forgiveness by acknowledging his  error and how he could have avoided it but the expressing that it truly doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things and that he should simply remember this occasion in the future.  She basically declared that his creation was not worthy of her and dismissed him as if he had done this to many times and she had grown tired of it.  This is looking like the beginnings of the rise of the solar empire if Celestia continues to become more "aggressive" in her demands.

---

I am a little surprised by everypony's reaction to her change in hair color.  A few odd looks and maybe a question about it would be expected but constant shrieks of "PINK!" as if it was something of dire consequence seems to be not only extremely unprofessional for Equestria's "finest staffing" but seems a bit odd in general.  Who gets surprised over a hair color change to the point of hollering out the name of the color?

>>716458716458 I thought it was funny, the pink shouting...

Oh Luna, what are you plotting . . .?

Liking this very much so far. Luna's a tough teacher but I'm with her, Celestia needs to get back into shape and maybe lay off the cake. Also loving the references to Yu Yu Hakusho, Mask of Zorro and Dodgeball you tossed in there.

Story's not bad and while true Celestia could have been nicer and more explanatory, the gardener was a bit out of line as well.  "Oh, she won't do shit, I can just ignore her!"  mentality was pretty clear and uncalled for.

I am a little surprised at the rather jarring "Suddenly I'm talking to the reader" bits.  You have been doing purely IC 3rd person for the first part and suddenly you've switched to a dictation style as if you where explaining past events to someone else.  Try not to draw undue attention to the narrator if you didn't start out that way.  The forth wall is there for a reason and when someone suddenly breaks it several chapters into the story with no prior warning (even if it's the narrator), it can break the story focus.

>>714895714895

I have to say your opinion on her fighting makes sense though if you remember Luna's collapse after her latest fight (during the night with the power of the moon aiding her and Celestia teleporting away seemingly strong as ever), you'll see that this might already be the case.  Also take into consideration she's had a one or two years to remedy some of her "shock trooper-ness" and probably was just as fierce as Celestia when she was banished so has an idea on what does and doesn't work in combat.  Luna has almost as many advantages as Celestia in that regard.

>>714673714673

Not even that!  She's as introverted and socially awkward as can be in the show.  Personally, my fanon depicts her as an interesting mix between twilight and fluttershy in that aspect.  Hides in her castle doing quite background work and slowly gaining her power back while trying to find a way to relate with her subjects.  Probably why she's my favorite just ahead of twilight.

>>716084716084 she will, thats her plan, that was her plan all along

Wine and dinner first

Damn, Celestia, You crazy

>>716676716676

Somehow i don't think so. Remember what Luna was thinking: She must be tempered and sated if she is to remain the same Celestia everypony loves.”

Luna just lets her guards die.  0/10, unfaved, never reading this again.

>>716767716767 she is not taking a risk by telling her guards (why dose that word have a fucking u?)