-Warning: In depth review, expect honest opinions-

Walking into the premise of the story set by the description I wasn't entirely sure what I should have been thinking. It's closed enough to give a general idea of what's going to happen, but open enough to keep it juicy and entertaining.

Salty Shores is a story that may once again prove that unflattering titles can trick you. As the title suggests it's about a town called Salty Shores, but Salty Shores isn't just some sea-side fishing town; nope it's Hell on Earth and the author does a great job showing that. The "monsters" are creative in the sense that despite them looking horribly deformed and disgusting they actually have personality, and that's probably what makes them that much creepier is the fact that they are individuals and not just one solid unit.

When reading you get sort of a Doom 3 feeling mixed with Silent Hill, but in the best possible way. While Doom relied on keeping you in the literal dark to scare you, this story thus far doesn't keep it scary by having things pop out of an unexpected corner. With the concept of the Fog in creates for enemies to be hiding right in front of you rather than having to place them strategically in the darkness. It really adds an element of suspense to the whole story in my honest opinion.

We're quickly driven into subplots about dark cults, military operations, and conflicts with ruling bodies from the get-go. The author gives enough information to interest, while leaving enough out to elaborate and feed it to us in small doses.

The setting is very clever as it feels like a slightly futuristic Equestria taking place maybe a few years after modern times. I would guess maybe about 2025 or so to be the actual year, which is always interesting. It's interesting to think of horror stories taking place in technologically advanced worlds, as it only adds to the idea that even with technology they can't hide from the monsters.

We can also see a world of corruption going on in the background. With the Acolytes and the Regulators (Which I do enjoy how the author gives a faction to every group and not just saying stuff like "the police", or "the asylum guards") we get a taste of a darker world existing on the outside of Salty Shores as well. It peaks interest on what's happening out there as well.

The main character although mysterious can be a bit flat at times. Most of the story calls for her lack of characterization as it's clearly meant to build over time, but I feel as though we probably should have realized she was a girl a lot sooner. I went through the first 80% of it thinking she was male, but I think this could be accomplished by the mention of something feminine on her part in the early stages of the first chapter without directly saying it. The rest of her lack of characterization I feel is completely justified and would take away from the story if she was explained too much in the first chapter.

The concept of the main character being one of the monsters is very interesting to play with, and definitely one that will keep me coming back for more just to see how her situation turns out.

My only real criticism is that there were a few minor grammatical errors, and some paragraphs didn't get formatted properly, but nothing a quick scan can not fix. My other real criticism is that solo OC stories are generally frowned upon, and although this one is really good, I think there is plenty of room to fit some of the show's actual cast in it, considering this is an alternate universe. Princess Celestia was mentioned, but at this point I think it's not very likely that she would appear.

Let's recap:

Plot: 9/10 - Salty Shores delivers on the creepy sensation, and it also delivers on the curious sensation. It's a story that will certainly leave one desiring more if you're into the horror and mystery genres.

Writing Style: 8/10 - The author makes a good attempt at keeping things descriptive while keeping them mysterious. The writing style is fluent and sensible. Shy of a few minor awkward moments it's an easy read.

Characters: 9/10 - The unnamed protagonist really creates a sense of suspense of the reader, and clearly makes one want to seek out more information about her. A little flat at times, but I think that's what makes her so damn interesting.

Chapters: 9.5/10 - Not too short and not too long. It's almost in that sweet spot of perfection.

I have given this story 4.5/5 Stars. Worth your read, and won't leave Grimdark fans disappointed.

Apprehensive about starting it but pleasantly surprised. Lovecraft over and undertones very well achieved all the way down to the writing style. Good start and I can't wait to read more.

This reminds me of that game "Alan Wake"

>>3622336223

Thank you so much for your review and your time. I'm glad you enjoyed this story. Hope you love the conclusion just as much.

I've already implemented all of your fixes, including an earlier introduction to the character's gender. That should help clear things up. I also sped up the intro, so it fits the situation better. I plan to add a rather large part later down the road. Keep an eye out for it.

- ]-[

>>3771837718 No problem. I'll scan it over to see some of these changes, and I look forward to seeing what is to come. If you ever need a pre-reader you know where to find me.

>>3792537925

Awesome. Thanks for the help and support. New chapters of this might be slow to come by since I'm going to be working on a rather large project over the next few weeks. Keep an eye out my other story "Equestria Noir" to see those changes.

this scared the shit outta me....

I LIEK IT!

>>3987739877

Heh, Just as planned...

A truely awesome story. A story that makes me hunger for more.

>>4625846258

And you shall get more, but that will have to wait a bit. Yes, you will have to wait a bit.

Would like to see more of this, kind of disheartening to hear no updates on it.

Ehhh. i liked how the rainbow factory was. In this strory, the protagonist immediately gave up hope, which made the reader give up hope. You want to give the readers a sense of hope, and then CRUSH IT!!!! Still liked it tho. You get 3/5 Dashies

>>845147845147

Well, it's not quite finished yet, despite the long time I've not updated it. I'm currently working on that, plus an overhaul of it. Hopefully, that score goes up mighty quick.

It seems that this has been on hiatus for a long time... but I URGE you to continue. The story... the setting... the way you weave the incredibly creepy atmosphere... It leaves me wanting more. Great job!

I like this so far. It's pretty alright, with a nice air of mystery and enough darkness to be unsettling. I do have a few problems with it, though.

First of all, the grammar is alright. I can definitely tell what you're saying, but the errors are still there often enough to make me want to look at you funny.

Second, time is an issue. Five years goes by in a blink. A few more days does the same. There is nothing between the first week or so after whatever terrible thing that happened, and the last two weeks before coming back to Salty Shores. Overall, the difference between quantity of time passed and how much time has been felt is ridiculous.

Finally, the exposition you do is rather sketchy at the beginning. I had no clue what the hell was going on until getting roughly a page in, and by that point, I had to reread what went on before that so that I could get a clear idea. This isn't horrid, but it wasn't exactly great.

Otherwise, yes, you did a pretty good job. I like the story so far; Keep it up!

Oh man, this was fun. Such an awesome and dynamic the diary entries add. It gives you some information so the reader has a coherent idea of the plot but still keeps you in suspense by not giving too much information. It kind of is set so your mind automatically fills in the blanks with the worst it can come up with. *shudder* heh the things I thought up.

I'll have to check out more of your stuff. Nobody seems to have the guts or skill to write such quality horror, so that makes you a rare breed.

>>17971721797172

New story fixes all these problems!

Such, sadly unappreciated genius... It's really a bummer that the author is no longer around, as it were. I'm not even sure why I'm commenting. I guess this stories existence and it's lack of recognition has been a source of cold horror much like the story itself, and that's something that has pulled at my very soul stronger than the deepest prose. Like a work of art left in the back of a black, dismal storage room collecting cobwebs when it should be shinning in the centerfold of the greatest museums.

I'm going to save this—maybe bring it out some rainy day for someone and tell them about it. In your time, nobody seemed to see what you were able to do... but I did.

>>21752162175216

Actually, he's still around, and I heard through the grape vine that he's working on something new (and he might post it here soon, too).

He's probably going to murder me for telling you that.

>>24169142416914

Ironically, I actually became one of his editors, so I know exactly what he's up to. Given your wording you must be one of the group of 5 or so that he keeps in contact with.