The Princess and the Derp
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“C’mon, is that all you guys have?” Dash teased as she walked around her friends who laid splayed out on the grass after their exhaustive game of tag. She had tagged Pinkie no problem and after a few rounds had gotten to bragging that nopony would be able to tag her, even if she didn’t fly. And in spite of all five her friends trying their hardest to run Rainbow Dash to ground, none succeeded. Her confidence feeling restored and her adrenaline pumping after a good hour of chasing and running, Rainbow felt more like her old self. “Anypony up for one last round?” A chorus of painful groans filled her ears which only made her smile. Had she been paying more attention she might’ve noticed the sly look on Applejack’s face as if to say that she might not have been trying her absolute hardest when she was chasing Rainbow Dash, but the brash pegasus was too happy to notice. “Come on!” She whined playfully. “I need a real challenge here!”
KNOCK KNOCK! Somepony’s hoof gently rapped the top of her head. “Hiya Rainbow Dash!” Tilting her head upwards, Dash came face to (the upside down) face of Ditzy Doo and her off kilter eyes. “Um, meep meep?” She poked Rainbow’s nose and flew away as fast as she could.
“HEY!” Dash flapped her wings. “See you later guys, I gotta show Ditzy a thing or two!” She zoomed off after the gray mare, a rainbow streaking behind her. “Come back here bubble butt!”
Ditzy was considered a pretty average flier and she had a tendency to fall into a sort of sidestep as she flew. Of course, given her eye condition, it was impressive that she could fly as well as she did. She managed to lead Rainbow Dash on a merry little chase through Ponyville as she bobbed this way and that, flying almost like a dozy bumblebee.
Of course, if Rainbow Dash really wanted to catch Ditzy, she would’ve and that, as they say, would’ve been that. But she was interested in knowing just what kind if somewhat scatterbrained mare was up to.
The answer was not long in coming. Rainbow followed Ditzy as she made a sudden turn between two houses and into a long alley. After turning the bend Rainbow Dash stopped short, coming a hair’s breath away from crashing into Princess Celestia.
“W-whoa!” Dash panted, looking around for the errant mailmare, but there was no sign of her. “Geeze, what are you doing here? Do you always hang out in dark alleys?”
A slight chuckle escaped from the princess lips. “I suppose there is a first time for everything.”
“Uh yeah. Sure.” Rainbow rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. “You wouldn’t have happened to see a gray Pegasus fly past would you? We were…she was leading me right to you, wasn’t she.” Dash deadpanned. Celestia nodded. “And she probably spoke with you earlier when I was talking with Luna, wasn’t she?” Another nod. “Great.” She facehooved.
In spite of it all, Celestia smiled. “Your reasoning and deductive skills are much better than they were before our classes. I’m proud of you.”
“Yeah…it was kinda the fact that you have muffin crumbs on your face that gave it away.” The younger mare admitted.
“…I see.” Celestia slowly dragged a hoof across her face, idly scrubbing muffin crumbs from around her mouth. “Better?” Dash nodded. An awkward silence fell as the two ponies sought to find a way to fill it. “Might I ask…” The princess started hesitantly. “What exactly IS it with Ms. Ditzy Doo and muffins?”
“What’s with you and cake?” Rainbow countered.
Celestia nodded. “Ah. Touche.”
Already sick of the pleasantries, Rainbow Dash decided to just get things over with. “What did you and Ditzy talk about, as if I couldn’t guess?”
“Muffins.”
Rainbow Dash blinked. “No, seriously. What did you guys say?”
“I suppose I should be more specific: I should say that Ditzy Doo talked about HER muffin, Dinky.”
Rainbow’s mouth formed a small ‘o’ of realization.
Closing her eyes gently, Celestia described the scene to her student:
It was not long after Rainbow Dash’s departure. The distraught princess did not have the wherewithal to go back out among her celebrating subjects and affix her traditional serene visage that they had come to expect from her. She just wanted to be alone.
Fate, it seemed, had other plans. The door to the library swung open, accompanied by the sound of hooves gently clip-clopping on the wooden floor. Celestia turned to see a gray coated pegasus with a blond mane and the most…unique eyes. Seeing the Princess she let out a little gasp. “Oh my gosh! Your officiousness! I mean, your hineyness! I mean—”
Celestia raised her hoof, waiting for her company to fall silent. “It’s alright. Miss…Doo, isn’t it? Ditzy Doo?” Gulping, the pegasus nodded quickly. “Please, be at ease. Can I help you?”
“A-actually.” Ditzy tried to bring her left eye under control as it started wobbling and veering off. “I-I was about to ask you that.”
The only indication Celestia gave for her surprise was a slight raising of one eyebrow. “Oh?”
“I saw Rainbow Dash flying away and she looked upset so I knew something was the matter…she was holding herself all wrong, all tense and angry and sad.” Ditzy bit her lower lip gently. “So I came by to see what was going on…You look sad too.”
“Do I?” Celestia said evenly, her regal face was on, giving the impression that she was cool and collected. “I thank you for your concern my little pony, but I assure you that I am fine.”
“But you have puffy eyes.” Ditzy pointed with her hoof. “And while libraries can be dusty and make your eyes all water-y, I don’t think that’s why your eyes are like that.”
Celestia smiled sadly. Ditzy’s vision might be impaired but she could still see the truth when it was right in front of her. “It is nothing you need to concern yourself with.”
Ditzy gave her a look. It wasn’t the sort of look Celestia was used to being on the receiving end of: it was the look she would give Rainbow Dash when it was obvious that whatever story she had come up with wasn’t fooling anypony. It was the look a knowing mother, who would neither be deflected nor deterred.
Seeing no point in delaying the inevitable, the princess nodded. “Very well.” She yielded, sitting back down on the library floor. Then she gestured for Ditzy to do the same. “Please sit.”
“Um, I might have a little trouble with that.” Ditzy said sheepishly as she turned to give Celestia a look at her profile. Snuggled tightly on her back lay a little lavender-gray unicorn filly with blond mane like her momma’s. She let out a sleepy murmur as she buried her snout in her mother’s mane, sighing contently.
Celestia smiled beatifically. “Your daughter?” Ditzy nodded, full of pride.
“Dinky. My little muffin.” She gently brushed her daughter with one of her wings as the watching alicorn fought to repress a smile at *the* most endearing term she had ever heard a parent call their foal.
“She is beautiful. Please, allow me.” A faint aura surrounded the sleeping filly as she was magically lifted off her mother’s back and gently deposited on a large pillow Celestia conjured seemingly from nowhere. Dinky, still asleep, snuggled in and curled up in a little ball. “You and your husband must be very proud.”
Ditzy paused. “I am. Very proud, I mean. But…” She trailed off.
“Oh. I see.” Celestia caught on. “My apologies. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“It’s okay!” She flashed the princess a smile, brightening up. “As long as I have Dinky and her half-sister Sparkler, I’ve got everything I need!” She nodded. “In fact, I asked Rainbow Dash to be Dinky’s godmother earlier.”
“Did you? What a wonderful thing to do.” Celestia smiled as she looked at the sleeping Dinky. “I’m sure Rainbow Dash will be a wonderful godmother.”
“A huh! She had the best role model ever, right?” Ditzy blinked when Celestia didn’t respond. “Um, I meant you, your highness.”
Celestia nodded vaguely. “I understood, I just…am not so sure of that anymore.”
“Why not? You’ve been Rainbow Dash’s mentor/teacher thingy ever since she was a filly, right? That’s like being a second mom to her and she’s a good pony, so you must’ve been a good role model.” She smiled, pleased at her own logic. Contrary to popular belief, she WAS a clever pony!
Celestia shook her head. “I am no mother.”
“But…but Rainbow Dash acts like you’re her mom, I think.” Ditzy fidgeted. The princess looked at her thoughtfully.
“You’ve known Rainbow Dash a long time, have you not?”
“Ya huh.” She nodded. “I was a counselor in training at the summer flight camp where she performed the Sonic Rainboom. She was a really good friend, defending me against bullies and stuff.”
“Forgive me, but aren’t you older than her?
“Yes, only by a few years but…uh, I wasn’t very good at sticking up for myself.” Ditzy admitted sheepishly. “A lot of the campers and the other counselors thought I was…well, they didn’t like me much. But Rainbow Dash always stood up for me, telling the fillies and colts—and even the counselors!—to leave me alone.” She flexed her wings for a moment, then folding them back up against her sides. “She was always pretty brave and a bit headstrong; got herself into a lot of trouble. You know how it is.”
Celestia chuckled. “I do indeed.”
Ditzy smiled. “We had arguments, big ones sometimes when she didn’t want to listen to me. Really, it was good practice for when I had Dinky. Even when my muffin gets upset with me, I know she still loves me. And at the end of the day, we always made up. Just like I know you and Rainbow Dash will.”
“Our situations are not exactly the same.” Celestia pointed out gently. “I am not her mother.”
“Oh.” Ditzy frowned. “So, I guess you don’t worry when Rainbow Dash isn’t feeling well, take care of her when she’s sick?”
Shaking her head, Celestia sought to explain. “That isn’t—”
“You never held her when she was scared or felt panic rising up inside you when she went missing or got hurt?” Ditzy pressed. “Whenever she was sad you never felt like you would move the sun just to make her day a little brighter? You never felt your tummy feel like ice when she was doing something dangerous or felt a pit in your stomach when she was mad at you?” Celestia said nothing. “You take care of her when she’s sick or hurt, comfort her when she needs it, take pride in her accomplishments, feel sad when she’s sad, happy when she’s happy.”
Ditzy made her way over to her sleeping daughter and gently stroked her mane as she snored softly. “You say you aren’t a mom…but you try to be a good role model for all ponies. You set rules, try to teach them right from wrong, how to think for themselves, discipline them when they do something wrong. If you ask me, you are a mom…just on a bigger scale. And if you’re like a mom for all of Equestria, then you DEFINITELY are a mom to Rainbow Dash in particular.”
Celestia paused, taking it in. WAS she more than a friend and mentor to the young pegasus? She wondered. She pictured Rainbow Dash in her mind, trying to capture what she felt when she was around her. In her mind’s eye she saw Dash’s sky blue coat and wings as she soared through the skies and felt only pride. She saw Dash’s namesake rainbow mane and tail, brilliant and dazzling as the pegasus cut a streak through the air leaving brightness and color even on the grayest and darkest of days and Celestia felt only joy. She felt the easy confidence, the daring and the brashness that Rainbow Dash radiated. Even when that confidence was misplaced or even used as a shield, Celestia felt only sincerity. She heard Rainbow’s sandy, raspy voice punctuated by the occasional cute little squeak and felt comfort. Her eyes, which could be described as anything from pink to pinkish red, cerise or magenta, narrowing with determination or growing wide with child-like wonder and excitement as she flew or even talking about flying, something that never faded. Celestia felt only love.
Perhaps she truly did think of Rainbow Dash as her daughter. After a long wait, Celestia dipped her head. “You have a wise head atop your shoulders.”
“It’s the muffins.” Ditzy said solemnly. “They make excellent brain food!”
“…Yes.” Celestia coughed. “I’m sure.” She joined Ditzy, gently stroking Dinky’s mane. “Even so, I am not simply a parental figure. I am also a Princess of Equestria. As such I had to make…choices. Choices Rainbow Dash resents me for. And I cannot say she is unjustified in feeling that way.” She looked at the gray pegasus imploringly. “Have you ever hidden the truth from your daughter, for whatever reason, only to have her resent you for it when the truth comes out?”
A shuffling of hooves was Ditzy’s initial response. “Sometimes, I don’t tell Dinky when something happens at work and my pay gets cut to take care of…damages.” She winced. “I don’t want her to worry about money, but I forget how smart she is sometimes.” Her shoulders slumped. “She usually figures it out when I don’t bring home as many groceries or work extra hours at my other job. Then she gets upset that I didn’t tell her; she says that I treated her like a baby and didn’t trust her to be okay with it.” She looked up at Celestia. “I guess as a mom I want to protect Dinky as much as I can—but I forget that just because she’s young, that doesn’t mean she can’t understand important things. And she ends up feeling like I don’t respect her or trust her when I hide things like that from her. And that hurts her feelings.” Her face was mournful. “I try not to make her worry, but I end up making her worry MORE.”
“I understand.” Celestia nodded, closing her eyes. “But with the choices I made with Rainbow Dash, I made her call into question my faith in her maturity, her courage, and her loyalty; hurting her deeply.” She let out a low sigh. “Perhaps it is better that I not be a mother. How can I balance the love and needs for a single pony against the needs of all of Equestria? How could I let Rainbow Dash make all her own decisions, her own choices in what she does when they have such repercussions for all of Equestria? If I had given her more choices before all this had happened, would she have made the choice freely? Or was it necessary that I maneuver her into position? Did I save Equestria or did I take away one of my subjects' freedom?”
Ditzy rubbed one of her hooves against her leg awkwardly. This was a bit out of her depth. “Um…I really don’t know any of that your majesty. But what I do know is that even when I make a mistake and my muffin gets mad at me…it doesn’t mean I’m not her mom anymore and she isn’t my daughter. It means I have to try harder to make things right. It isn’t easy…but if you never do anything that’s hard, the hard stuff never get’s easier.” She paused. “If Rainbow Dash is gonna be Dinky's godmom, then I bet she'll understand, maybe even sooner than you think! Um, I’m gonna go take Dinky home and put her to bed. I hope this was helpful and—oh yeah!” Ditzy dug around in her saddle bag for something. “Here you go!” She offered the Princess a muffin. “You can’t be sad while eating a muffin! It’s a rule!”
Celestia took it, smiling politely. “I’ll be sure to add that to the canon of Equestrian law.
With that, Ditzy Doo bowed politely and gently scooped Dinky up and flew out the door, resolving to put Dinky to bed and then find a certain rainbow pony and a princess of the night as an idea struck her. Then she was gone leaving the Princess alone with her thoughts and her muffin.
As Celestia finished telling her story, she risked a glance to see Rainbow Dash’s reaction. The princess opened her mouth, scarcely knowing where to start. It turns out though, that no words were needed. Rainbow threw her hooves around Celestia and pressed her face into her neck. Taken aback, it was all Celestia could do to return her embrace as the two held each other. In the darkest recesses of the night, love and hope burned bright.
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Excellent as always. This is the Derpy I like to see: capable of being silly, but still one of the wiser of Dash's friends. =)
Derpy is best Family Councilor!!!!!
Dawwwwwwww
Nuff said.
Now that wraps it up nicely.
*applause*
YAY So nicely done! I
Ditzy!
*wipes away a tear* Mother and daughter reunite. Well done my friend, well done indeed. Ditzy is correct, what is a princess or for that matter a leader but a parent on a much larger scale. I suppose that is another thing I need to add to my list of what can make a good ruler.
On a more personal note, about damn time they made up.
In the Name of Her Serene Majesty Celestia Everfree,
Celestia's Paladin: Ex Solis et Lunae, Proviendita et Prosperita
1271776
Agreed.
ALL OF MY FEELS
I've been wondering when they would finally start reconcile....
this, right here, is my headcannon for ditzy. well, i personally see her a little tidbit sillier, but still, this is what i like!
DAWWW
Dawwww! A thousand times Dawwww!!
Of course Derpy saves the day. She knows all. Touching.
“Your reasoning and deductive skills are much better than they were before our classes. I’m proud of you.”
“Yeah…it was kinda the fact that you have muffin crumbs on your face that gave it away.”
“What exactly IS it with Ms. Ditzy Doo and muffins?”
“What’s with you and cake?” Rainbow countered.
Celestia nodded. “Ah. Touche.”
oh boy
also, yay for new chapter!! Ditzy is best wise mom!
1271794
What a sweet reunion!
Woohoo! Way to go Ditzy!
Silly memes popping into my head.
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Insert Willy Wonka sarcasm meme here. Please.
encrypted-tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRoqB11538VubGM4nP5cfX4FZ1RRPzQNQHt7DrUkFMgV2Q2QESC
all this talk about parenting reminds me of something: did we ever get an explanation as to why dash got worked up when that snob mentioned her parents in ch2?
Derpy is best councilor.
Manly tears at the Daws.
Aw! Great job and a lovly reunited
and Derpy is the best pacemakere.
I love the way that write derpy, shes not stupid at all but still has random moments ..... derpy makes best mom!!!
Sometimes, words just aren't needed.
"It isn’t easy…but if you never do anything that’s hard, the hard stuff never get’s easier."
I think I just fell in love with Derpy (Ditzy). I don't think you realize the chord that line struck with me.
thesecularity.com/download/file.php?id=7457
D'awwwwwwwww
Derpy is awesome. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_rainbowkiss_flip.png
Derpy and Dinkie are too cute.
i44.servimg.com/u/f44/11/14/92/57/82389_10.jpg
She might be slightly silly and a lot destructive but she's not stupid. I like this Ditzy.
Well that was beautiful, and it's nice to see the rifts in their relationship (mostly) close up.
Of course there's a big difference between not telling a foal that mommy's having trouble at work, and not telling a mare that a psychotic killer coming round for dinner. I like to think Celestia had more clear cut reasoning behind the latter.
1273053
That line is actually from the magnum opus of Ditzy Doo/Derpy Hooves stories by CLAVDIVS CAESAR, "Dinky Debates Dexterity, Destiny and Dinner" and its predecessor "Ditzy Doo's Dismally Derpy Day"
Don't do it Rainbow, you know better than to talk to strange ponies in dark allies.
In all seriousness though, that was very good, and your Derpy is fantastic.
Smart ditzy is best ditzy.
bubblebutt is best pony
MY FEELS, I CAN'T CONTAIN THEM
Muffins fix everything!
1272819
Derpy is very much unmatched at regulating heartbeats, yes.
I recognize that line!
Sorry I haven't been commenting; I've had a heck of a past few weeks and haven't had time to do much of anything other than work. I had also thought I'd just comment when the story concluded, but apparently the dénouement is going to take a little longer than I thought it would.
Anyway, excellent as always! Rainbow Dash, despite being the Element of Loyalty, doesn't have the same kind of blind loyalty to Celestia that Twilight does, so it makes sense that things won't just be hunky-dory after the story ends.
1274270
I said "ONE OF" the best.
I really love your take on Ditzy in this story. She's a goofy friend to Rainbow while managing to be an intriguing foil to Celestia during her moments of self-doubt.
1271776
Definitely should be cannon (not head cannon mind you, those are blanks; I mean the "dive into a bunker because we're getting shelled" cannon)
1258268 Well the point still remains that I tried to make my other posts readable for you and you still haven't refuted any of those posts, and in the five paragraph one I put punctuation and separated the different paragraphs so with permission of the author (if he cares) I'm posting this comment in an attempt to continue the main point of the discussion; I didn't even care about continuing the grammar discussion at this point.
Huh, that sounds famili - DERPY'STHEROADRUNNER!
I'm pretty sure the hyphen's unnecessary
Meep meep roadrunner todoavatar.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/Looneytunes-RoadRunnerAnotherChase.jpg
Well this, along with the Luna introduction chapter are now my two favorite chapters. Derpy is always best councilor.
That was precious.
Now, I must ask... HOW HAVE I NOT FAVED THIS YET?! I must correct this at once!
I do like this story, and I do indeed think you're spot-on with the characters and how, given these different circumstances, they would act.
Nicely done. As usual, great work
1276764 I don't see things the way you do, and I guess we should leave it at that, considering the fact that even the author himself couldn't convince me that the Dash/Celestia confrontation made sense the way he wrote it. Thanks for the added work in punctuation and including paragraph breaks, however, I (and everyone else who wants to get at the actual content of that comment) appreciate it.
Oh, and sorry for the late answer. For some reason, I don't get notified that someone has answered to my comments when they're on different chapters or pages.
It's incredible how well this alternative version of the first two episodes worked out, dare I say the elements proved themselves in ways that made much more sense than the original show (especially Applejack's honesty).
I guess the one weakness is why Nightmare moon didn't crush Rainbow Dash when she first had the chance at their very first encounter, and the way she could wield so much power yet so easily clobbered by various cheap tactics during the fight at the old castle.
Great story and thanks for sharing!
And from that day hence, muffins became Equestria's only comfort food with legally mandated efficacy!