WritingSpirit
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44w, 5dWriting Gold
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47w, 4hThe Writer's Group
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44w, 5dRarity
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47w, 4hSparity
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33w, 4dStruggling Authors
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40w, 1dSherlockian Mysteries
Blood ran through her ankles as the unicorn climbed onto the last step of the marble stairway, her teeth clenching onto a bloodied dagger. Her mane ruffled with the smell of decay, her eyes bloodshot from fatigue.
The stormy skies behind the broken windows watched her menacingly, as she dragged her bruised hooves along the red carpet. The tapestry on the walls hung torn and battered, guiding the unicorn down the corridor.
Then she saw it. A brass door riddled with a few dents, topped off by the golden glazing of the doorknobs. This was it. The time when it will finally end. She sighed as she turned the knob.
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"Just a little bit more," Rarity said to herself, watching the woven fabric smoothly guided itself under the pale cyan cloud of magic. A small bead of sweat crawled down her head, as she slowly regained her composure whilst her last fabric is sewn into place, sighing with relief at the delicate job.
"There! That's settled, Now for the ribbons!" she exclaimed in a singsong voice. Her thoughts raced through her mind along with her memento of finesse, reminding her of how she had the order in the first place.
The dress was for the great and wondrous artist, Olive Sprinkles, famed for her exquisite galleries and deep, puzzling meanings in her paintings. She was due to visit and critique on an exhibition down in Manehatten, therefore she needed the proper attire to suit the needs of her presence in the exhibition itself.
Supposedly, one of her associates mentioned Rarity, and everything ran its course. The designer herself fumbled away with the ribbons, feeling lucky for the fact that not everyday a celebrity like Olive requires the handiwork of one such as Rarity, so everything must be perfect! After all, it was only pure luck that she knew about her.
Pure luck, Rarity's thoughts raced through her mind, just pure luck.
But someday, her thoughts continued, you will be known!
Rarity squealed with glee at her fantasies. "Someday," she said gleefully to herself, "everypony will know who I am. I will be a pioneer...no, a leader! A leader in fashion! Then all the handsome stallions in the world....!!" She sighed dreamily, lying on her vintage couch with her head prancing across the clouds.
Momentarily, she stood up, walking towards her oak mirror, with one hoof pointing towards her reflection.
"You, my friend, are going to be a STAR!"
At the mention of the word 'star', the doorbell rang with a loud BUZZ!
Rarity's fantasies snapped instantly, her face drenched quickly in a pale white with her gaze whirled to the door.
"The DRESS!!" A thousand thoughts raced through her mind.
"I'M NOT FINISHED!"
The white mare raced through her boutique, her mane tossed around in a whirlwind of desperation.
"The ribbons here...and one over there," she mumbled anxiously, weaving the fabric around the folds of the dress. It's only a matter of time before she steps in. It's only a matter of time-
*BUZZ!!*
"Just a minute!" she shouted to the door, before continuing in her race against time.
Oh, why did she have to let her thoughts wheel her off into her desires again? It was the last thing that she would've sworn to do if the order was meant to be completed by... today? Tomorrow? The day after? By Celestia's hoof, she's completely forgotten about it!
*BUZZ!! BUZZ!!*
"One more here....and DONE!"
Rarity shook her mane into place, being careful to groom any stray strand of hair, before rushing straight towards the door, reaching for the knob.
*BUZZ!! BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ!!*
"Carousel Boutique! This is Rarity how may I help you?" she gasped her words out with such rapidity that she tumbled onto the boutique's carpeted floor, panting for the need of air. Strike one off her mannerisms list.
The mailpony at the door merely raised an eyebrow, shaking his head at his fanatical customer. He muttered something under his breath (probably from the usually insane ponies he visits), before beginning:
"Letter to a Miss Rarity, which I believe is you, Madam."
Rarity switch her glances from his face to the letter, her wheels turning at the suddenly courteous gesture that he was establishing. Usually, even on weekends, he would just drop the letter off in a huff, not even wanting to spare a glance.
"For your eyes only, Miss Rarity, as said by the sender," the mailpony continued.
"I'm here to make sure of that. T'is all."
For my eyes only? the unicorn looked at the letter, her brows furrowed.
What could be so important that every other pony in the whole of Equestria cannot get a glimpse of?
Rarity gave him a slight smile, with a 'thank you', slowly closing the door before settling herself down on her bed, gazing down at the crinkling envelope in her hooves. As she examined the letter, she detected a strong smell, the mare only able to guess what it was:
"Wine?"
The red wax seal on the opening beckoned her to opened the letter. Once she did, the strong scent of grapes was overwhelmed by a putrid smell of ink, making her cough haughtily, her throat turning bland.
She squinted carefully at the intricate handwriting, intimidating her eyes as she began to read:
To Miss Rarity,We would like to invite you to a masquerade ball down at Palgiot Palace to celebrate the 400th anniversary of the founding of Palgiot Palace itself. The host, Winter Palgiot, Current Patriarch of the Palgiot Family and Great Arch-Minister of Academic Sciences of Equestria, has personally requested your attendance for a five night stay down at Palgiot Palace with courtesy of the Palgiot Family themselves.
Please kindly show this invitation to the sentries of the Palace Gate, as we do not appreciate any hindrance of any sort. If you are unavailable to attend the masquerade ball, please send a reply letter back to Palgiot Palace as such to avoid any confusion between the party guests.
With regards,
Stellar Lionheart
Head Butler of the Palgiot Palace
Rarity could not believe her eyes. She, of all ponies in Equestria, SHE, was personally invited to a masquerade ball. By the great Winter Palgiot himself!
Everypony in Equestria knew about the royal Palgiot Family, and especially everypony knew of Winter Palgiot. The Palgiot Family's imports and exports in wine became well known in the wine industry, but the efforts of their current Patriarch in formulating new wines and his expertise in the business have since quadrupled the already bountiful income of the family, placing them almost on the top of the ladder of society.
"Of all the days in my life," Rarity said dreamily, "this is The. Best. Day. EVER!!!"
"I must pack my things! Makeup. Check! Shoes. Check!. Dress - Hahaha~!"
The fashion designer couldn't help but laugh with excitement. This is her dream come true! To be courted by royalty, to dance with aristocrats and barons. Who knows? Even the great Winter Palgiot himself!
She started to waltz around her boutique, preoccupied in her dreams.
"Think of the wonders in the palace. Think of -oh!- how romantic it would be. I must tell the others about-"
At the slight mention of her friends, her face started to droop, her shoulders slumping to the floor. She began to ponder at the thought, having made such mistakes due to her over-enthusiasm before.
Surely Winter Palgiot has given her friends invitations as well?
The clock struck three, and at that point the mare remembered: Twilight had arranged a picnic at the meadow with all of her friends.
This is her chance.
"I have to ask them. My friends are surely invited to the ball. They are, of course, the Elements of Harmony," she told herself. "Surely the Palgiots know about them, don't they?"
Don't they?
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"Sorry sugarcube, but Ah ain't got any invites."
Rarity let out a loud gasp. How can Winter forget at least ONE of the Elements of Harmony?
"But there must have been some sort of mistake? The great Winter Palgiot should've known about the Element of Honesty."
The fashion designer arrived, unfashionably, a little late at the picnic, a little content at the sight before her. All of her friends were there, of course: Applejack was eating apple tarts under a tree, watching Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie playing with a few squirrels. Twilight, as usual, was reading a book on the mat. What surprised her was that Rainbow Dash joined her as well instead of racing about the clouds like most times before, again absorbed by the new Daring Do book.
"I'm sorry, Rarity," the farmer pony's drawl of her voice came in, "but Ah ain't got nothing."
The white unicorn slumped, her mane blowing in a small breeze. Her friend could only give a mellow sigh, glancing down at her with a hoping smile.
"Cheer up, sugarcube. Ah believe your dressmaking is more well known to this Palgiot fellow than me applebucking down here at the farm. Especially after that visit from Olive Sprinkles."
Rarity gave out a sheepish chuckle.
"But Olive was just another order, another customer to take care of. No big deal," she replied with a slight tinge of pink on her face.
Applejack just rolled her eyes. Typical Rarity.
"Well, this Palgiot fellow, do you fancy him Rarity?" the orange mare asked before getting another bite at her tart.
"He is quite alright. Everypony in Equestria has heard about him. I've never met him in person and I heard he's just the most generous stallion." she replied, her eyes sparkling at her own thoughts.
"But I don't understand how he doesn't know about you."
Applejack swallowed the tart with one gulp before saying: "If I ever meet Palgiot, I want him to try out our Apple Ciders. He must've known what in tarnation to do about it."
"Speaking of ciders, have you ever tried his new wines?" the unicorn asked.
"Very interesting though, gives a slight grape tinge in your mouth."
The orange pony just shrugged, her lips drooping at the mention of wine.
"I don't do grapes. By the way, aren't ya supposed to ask Fluttershy about this? I'm sure she and Pinkie must've got invites for this as well."
Something clicked inside her friend's head.
"Oh, silly me, I almost forgot about that. But Applejack, promise me that you'll tell me if you have an invitation to the Palgiot ball."
"Suredy-do, partner." Applejack winked, slightly tipping her hat to the side as Rarity walked over to Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie. She stifled a yawn, stretching her hooves as she began dozing off under the tree.
"Suredy-do."
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"Oh-um...sorry Rarity but-um... I didn't get anything in my mail today."
Rarity's jaw dropped immediately. Not one, but two!
"Me too, but, ooh, I wish I could come! There will be cookies, cakes, cream, chips, cherries, chocolates galore!! So many things to do there. Everypony's dancing, laughing, singing, talking. Ooh-ooh- and they will wear masks! So it will be creepy but fun at the same time, just like what Twilight said about Nightmare Night. Then they'll invite the mares to dance, and the stallions will be like:"May I invite you for a dance?" and the mares will be like "Oh, it will be my pleasure!" Then they'll dance in circles and circles and circles and..."
Pinkie Pie's voice droned out as the unicorn pondered questions in her head. Three of her best friends have no invites to the ball, and yet somehow she has one. It doesn't make any sense!
"... and they'll be like whee-whee-wheeeeeeeeee!! Then they'll get all dizzy and they'll fall and the ball will so funny. Like that one time when I went to-"
"Pinkie Pie! I'm trying to read here!" Rainbow Dash shouted loudly from the mat, glaring at her.
"Oopsie, sorry Dashie!"
"Anyway," Fluttershy said. "You must be very happy that someone like him invited you to a ball."
"Why of course, Fluttershy dear. It is not every day that you will be whisked off into a high-class society tomorrow and come back and tell all about it."
"You're leaving? Tomorrow?!" Fluttershy squeaked, before letting out a slight whimper.
Rarity gave a nod. "But I'll remember to bring something back for you, dearie," she said with a grin.
The yellow pegasus smiled broadly in an instant, making Pinkie squeak with glee.
"Then this calls for a PARTY~!"
"NO!" Rarity shouted.
Pinkie Pie flinched, nearly tumbling over onto Fluttershy, who let out a small 'eep!'
"No?! But why?" Pinkie Pie said, her eyes tearing up from confusion.
Twilight and Rainbow Dash looked up nervously from their books, as well as Applejack from her nap, slightly taken aback by Rarity's harsh reaction.
"No, because...um.." the white unicorn stuttered nervously, a bead of sweat creeping down her neck as Pinkie Pie's face turned sour. "It's because...uh.. I don't want our Pink Party Pony here to waste all that energy when she can celebrate me a 'Welcome Home Rarity' party!"
She forced out a grin. Her jaw was hurting.
The anger in Pinkie's eyes quickly ceased into happiness.
"Well, why don't you say so?"
All five of them let out a relieved sigh, while the pink mare continued: "When you come back, I will make sure you have the most splenderiffic, candylicious, glamouriffic best party EVER!"
"Thank you, Pinkie Pie, and I'll be sure to bring something back for you," Rarity said gladly, feeling a heavy weight lifted from her.
She then turned towards Twilight and Rainbow Dash, with Fluttershy looking on, her face in a small gleam of concern.
"Good luck..."
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"We heard about it. Your invitation to some ball."
"Really?" Rarity said. "Do you receive any invitations as well, then?"
Both of her friends shook their heads in response. Now that was satisfying.
She began to sigh, her mane drooping to the ground. "Even the fastest flyer of Ponyville and the star-student of the Princess herself didn't receive any..." she droned.
"Rarity, your outburst to Pinkie Pie wasn't very nice," Twilight whispered gently, out of earshot from the bouncing pony. They had been through dealing with their bubbly friend's drop-dead mood once, and neither wanted to see it happen again.
"I apologize for that." the white mare replied.
"It's just I'm a bit...frustrated that somepony as famous as Winter Palgiot have no clear knowledge of you guys. The ponies that saved Equestria! Thrice!"
"You know Mr. Palgiot isn't like Pinkie Pie, clearly he has a lot of royal friends to deal with, not to mention balls and galas and who knows what," Rainbow Dash chuckled with a slight hint of sarcasm.
"I know, I know, but I surely hope that you girls can come, it will be so glamorous." Rarity replied, her face grimaced in irritation. Her head quickly slumped onto the mat, ignoring the few specks of dust around her.
"Cheer up, Rarity, I'm sure we can think of something." Twilight said, though it was only a brief moment before her eyes suddenly lit up, the lavender unicorn quickly scrambling through a small satchel behind her.
"It must be here somewhere..." she muttered, and that didn't take long either.
"Aha!" she exclaimed, returning towards Rarity and clutching a black, suspicious device.
"What's this?" the white mare asked nervously as Twilight switched it on. The device crackled into life as she explained:
"It's a walkie-talkie. The pegasi in Cloudsdale used it sometimes in a weather emergency. Rainbow Dash bought six of them for us, but I thought I will give the last one to you later, since we know how you deal with these kinds of things."
"Yeah! Like that time when you threw a phone out. You kept saying it was ugly, about how it sticks out unevenly, and about how it doesn't match your coat and-"
Rainbow Dash began laughing with tears in her eyes, stopping only when Twilight gave her a disapproving glare.
"What does this do?" Rarity fumbled with the device.
"Here!" the cyan pegasus flew to her side. "I'll show you!"
She placed Rarity's hoof gently onto a red button at the side, right before flying all the way to the other side of the meadow.
Twilight beckoned her to say something into it, which the white mare did.
"Um...Hello?"
"Hiya Rarity!"
Rarity stumbled backwards, scared by the sudden, disembodied voice from the device as it continued enthusiastically:
"It's just me, it's Rainbow Dash. I'm over here!"
As she looked at the other end of the meadow, she saw her friend frantically waving her hooves around, her wings keeping her aloft in the breeze. A sudden dawn of realization hit her.
"Why, this is unbelievable! Oh Twilight, thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou~!"
"Don't thank me, Rarity. Thank Rainbow Dash!" she said with a smile.
Just as soon as Rainbow Dash returned to them, a wave of 'thank yous' flew from Rarity's mouth.
"Aw, no biggie, Rarity!" she exclaimed. "They don't call me the Element of Loyalty for nothing!"
She finished, her wings still fluttering a little with a beaming smile on her face.
"This is just wonderful! I must tell you about everything I see there. It will just be simply fabulous!"
Twilight chuckled at her friend.
"Just be sure to stay out of trouble, Rarity."
Rarity gave her a Pinkie Promise. "I will!"
Applejack, still hazy from her nap, stood up with a smile.
"Come on, y'all, let's all finish the food up!"
The other five ponies agreed. Everypony soon was laughing, having fun, even teasing their friend about meeting the Palgiots, as the sun began to make way for night.
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The dark alleys are a sore to navigate, but this is not the time to question that. His head echoed with whispers and shadows: shadows born when the town was erected almost a millennia ago. Of course, they didn't bother with the alleys, judging by how labyrinthine they are.
"Think, Caesar, Think!"
Caesar Mills was his name, and will be known until his death, which will arrive sooner in the form of his pursuer if he does not hurry. He had already limped away from a bar somewhere downtown: Colt Creaky's, if he could recall, where he had met the pony he was supposed to deal with.
He already expected something to happen. It always happens the way it was, and the previous generations of ponies living here would've agreed in their time, but these kind of things didn't happen in the last seventy years. It was usually a tell-off, at most a tax these days. But never this.
Never.
He grunted in pain, his hoof clutching on the crimson flower of blood blooming from his suit.
Damn that no-good stalli-
BANG!
He dashed forward immediately as if in a race. There came the shadows, dancing around flimsily in the dim lights with every twist and turn his joints make, then the resounding hoofsteps, getting closer and closer towards the target: him.
He shouldn't have been that fast. It's impossible! No one navigates these damn alleys that fast.
"I gotta get out of town. NOW!"
And then he saw it. The train station! The only way out of this god-forsaken place.
Summoning the last of his energy, he galloped toward the platform. The moon watched from the sky. His family should be worried by now, but he can't bring his pursuer back to them. Never in his life.
On the stone platform, he waited with hurrying patience. He looked around frantically, waiting for his attacker to jump out at any moment.
The slow hum of iron resonated through the air, signaling the arrival of his retreat.
Unsheathing his only weapon: a razor, he turned one more circle.
The atmosphere became unsettling. He was tired of running, and his stomach wound isn't helping. Ripping a part of his suit, he tied a bandage onto his wound.
As he did, he looked for a train, his ears perking at the unmistakable sound of steam. The moment has arrived.
The screeching of the wheels came to a halt, and he breathed a huge sigh of relief.
He began to drag himself to the front of the door, heaving his injured body.
The rusting door opened, grinding against the floor.
What he saw shocked him.
The shadow of his pursuer loomed over him, a twisted grin aligned across a glinting mask.
Caesar backed away, sweat dropping profusely across his body, his open wound hurting, his mind torment in deep agony and confusion.
"But you were...in the alleyways... it's...it's i-impossible!!"
"Oh," came the reply. "But it is."
A gunshot rang.
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Caesar woke up. His wound didn't hurt anymore, but he could still feel the blood trickling down; every drip echoed on the... dirt ground below him, the sound of it making him feel faint. He felt something metallic lodged in his leg, which he could only guess it was a bullet from the sting.
He wasn't sure if he was awake. A pitch black of darkness stared straight back into him. He felt cotton draping over his eyelids. This isn't happening.
"So I see you've awaken." a voice said. It was morbid, dark but Caesar felt a sense of... arrogance behind the voice.
"Y-You're not gonna get away with thi-AAhhh!" he screamed in agony as the aging pony felt a blade stabbing into his hoof.
"Pity no one will ever know about Caesar Mill's dire end. To be honest Mr. Mill, you ran the farthest ever. 'Twas a pity about the wound, the only thing that held you back from freedom."
Caesar whimpered slightly. His thoughts settled onto his family.
"Celestia help me."
"If I were you, Mr. Mill," the voice cackled, shattering his memories open with its bitterness.
"I will spend my time in prayer. For the lives of my own children, of course."
Caesar felt like he was going to break down. Never. Never my children. NEVER!
"Don't you dare lay a single hoof on my children, you swine!"
He flailed his hoofs around, but the searing pain in his wounds only weakened his attempts at even touching the laughing pony.
"Don't worry. I'm sure your children will miss their dad. Horribly."
The voice then laughed maniacally, making Caesar cringe with fear.
"But first, to the matters at hand."
The colt's ears perked. Something below him resonated in a very low hum.
"You've sought escape, but you've failed to perform your duties well for the good sake of this town. Heck! For the whole of Equestria!!"
Caesar felt the moisture of sweat stinging in his legs. He suddenly let out one more high-pitched scream as he felt the blade continuously jabbing into his wound.
"Stop, stop! For Celestia's sake, please stop!!" he cried in agony. Tears quickly spilled from his eyes. The blood flowed in rivers down his hooves, landing on... wood? Iron?
"And to see you nearly getting away, I congratulate you for that." The voice said, clearly laughing at his attempts of escape.
"But for now, I'll let you get away..."
At the slight hint of that, Caesar's ears perked up.
"What do you mean, get away?" he asked cautiously.
"You nearly escaped, even reaching to the borders of town. It is rather...admirable for someone injured like you to reach this far."
Caesar felt relieved. He'll get to see his family again! He'll get a chance to go home!
"Therefore, I'll let you go. Just the way you want it."
Then he felt something looped around his bleeding hoof. His hopes were suddenly smashed as horror swept over him.
"NO!! You said you'll set ME FREE!!"
"But you are going to be free. You tried to run away from me, even attempting on taking the train to escape, so taking the train you will."
The sound of steam rang, tormenting his ears. Caesar felt his limp body being heaved over an iron bar. He frantically tried to shake the tight noose off his leg, eventually tiring out. The train slowly dragged his body onto the tracks, as Caesar felt his hoof hit violently onto the next bar.
The wheels turned faster as Caesar felt his body struck five more times on the tracks. Sweat and blood dripped onto the tracks as he felt the steam rush through his anguished face.
His head suddenly struck one of the bars, making him yell in pain. Then another. The bars battered his bruising head rapidly, making him feel faint from each blow.
Blood seamlessly streamed down his face, as the cloth blinding him flew into the wind. Above him, Luna's moon watched him in his agony, almost like laughing at his face.
At one point, Caesar felt one of his hooves break apart, the skin completely ripped as he yelled out in agony. He tasted in disgust the blood in his mouth, the train only moving faster and faster.
Then suddenly, the steam died down, the wheels stopped turning. Caesar Mills, scarred and bloodied, looked into the sky.
He managed to turn his neck around with a crumple. His vision blurred as his life slowly seeped out of him.
"That was fun, wasn't it?" The pony walked to him. Caesar took a glimpse into his murderer's eyes. He cringed; the pony's pupils were slits bereft of emotion.
"I'm sure your family will be pleased to know you have such fun!" The pony squealed with glee, before giving out a morbid laugh.
As the pony walked away, dragging him with the rope on his hoof, he looked through his window of obscurity. His chest heaved one last breath.
The last thing he saw was a rotting wooden sign, standing firmly clasped with steel. An intricate dash of paint completed the sign, stating the name of the town.
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Rarity awoke with a gasp.
She quickly lunged towards the bathroom. Her stomach gurgled as she emptied the contents of the picnic into the bathroom sink.
The horrific scene kept replaying in her mind, forcing another wave of disgust into the white mare. Her hoof clutching tightly on the edge of the marble sink.
She could've sworn she knew the place. The last thing she saw was the sign. That same sign. Pendant Lakes.
A wave of horror swept onto her. That was the place she needed to go!
"Now, calm down Rarity," her inner voice said. "It was only a nightmare. No big deal."
The unicorn just felt more like smacking herself.
The purple clock stood on the table, the hands pointing at 2:25.
She looked out her bedroom window. The midnight mist concealed the gravel path leading up to her boutique, glimmering slightly under the afterglow of the moon.
"No one's gonna get you, you silly filly!" The inner voice boomed. "It was only a dream, remember?"
"Of course," she replied to her favorite mirror, staring at her ruffled, messed up mane in annoyance.
"It was only a dream, of course."
Rarity hesitantly dragged herself back to her bed, slowly calming down with every step.
"Just a bad-" she held back and gave out a long, tiring yawn.
"No big deal, Rarity." she continued before dozing off into another restless sleep.
"No big deal........."
Comments ( 7 )
Slightly long for one chapter, and incredibly gruesome related to Caesar's death. I understand why you'd put that in considering it's a murder case, but actually showing us the whole murder of Caesar is kind of excessive, don't you think? Nevertheless, this is incredibly well written, and I'm giving this a like.
I don't think the violence was excessive. After all, it's completely your choice as to what tone you want to establish for the rest of the story, though I would caution against explicit violence if that tone isn't going to be maintained the whole way through.
The only thing that made me do a double-take was when Caesar was being dragged behind the train and you mentioned his 'anguishing face.' That would be his 'anguished face.' Anguishing would imply that anguish is a verb.
I'm definitely going to continue reading this; I love a good murder mystery.
Chapter 1... This really gets you right at the start. From the first phase right at the beginning to everything that happened afterwards. It it also very well spread out and paced. So well in fact that it feels a lot longer then the near 4000 words it hits.
A fascinating start to what I'm sure will be a very interesting story.
You don't mess around with what interests you, do you?
And without reading any mroe thant eh first chapter I already know who did it! The butler!
Couldn't help myself. Now on to chapter 2 I go!







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