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Rarity's shop is destroyed in a horrible disaster. Twilight offers to take her in, but in the process begins to have feelings for the pony she never expected.
Credit for the story's cover image goes to raikoh14. Even though it wasn't drawn specifically for this story, it's a perfect fit. Many thanks for allowing me to borrow it!
Hey , I like where your going so far. But I do have some flaws you may take care of, not to sound rude or something
You use the word "said" really often, find some more words like "replied, responded, wondered, asked, state, affirm, announce, suggest, call out" etc
also you should slow down the pacing at the beginning. "Hydra came, destroyed, went away" it happens too fast.
Other than that I really enjoy it, onto the next chapter! 
I'm enjoying the story, but you're blazing through it at a hell of a pace. You need to slow down and take the scenic route in your storytelling. Take time to describe things, moods, feelings, events, everything. the internet won't run out of paper.
At the moment this is almost closer to a list of events than a narrative.
That said - you spend too much time on some things en how little you spend on others. The detail you provided on buying mirrors and racks was fine, if it hadn't been immediately followed by 'Over dinner, they had an interesting conversation about why Rarity had started her shop in Ponyville.' - that conversation? (The one you absolutely call interesting, but don't bother writing) that's what we care about, not the mirror thing.
This is all sounding pretty negative... I am enjoying the story, but there are flaws that you could solve and your writing would be so much the better for it.
I have to agree on the lack of detail in some things while there is a good bit of detail in others. My main thing on that is the dress Twilight designed and made for Rarity. All we know is that it is really amazing, not what it looks like or any details. From how it sounds it could be even better than her Gala Dress, but without the details on what it looks like we are left guessing.
Thank you both! You have no idea how much I have wanted to receive this kind of feedback. I have already gone back and fixed the your/you're typo and since this is the first story I have ever written, am working on the editing the frequent "saids" out.
I had intended for the hydra portion of the story to go fast, as it was more of a blitz on Ponyville than an all out attack. They cam, they didn't find what they wanted, one got pissed off, they left. I hope to have a revised edition posted within the hour.
Haha, that's cute 
Anyhoof, I was reading this story on Fanfiction and I was searching in this among other stories I remembered reading from there, before I found Fimfiction.
I think you're doing great with this story, I can't think of any thing for you to change at the moment, except the two suggestions above me. So good job for this being your first story.
Kudos, my friend.
I'm the same poster as comment No. 7.
I found chapter four to be a real improvement over 1-3. Be proud, you took criticism, evaluated it, and your writing improved. For my taste you're still going too fast (suddenly, Celestia! Two minutes later, gone! Blink and you'll miss her) but it's still much better.
I enjoyed the incidental, details, such as Celestia dropping in on Twi's parents, I can fully imagine her doing that (how did the neighbours react?).
I look foreward to part 5, just slow down a litrle more.
the Romance seems a little bit rushed, but the think I like out way that. The Hydra Attack was something new, and I have never seen anypony use that before, its shut a great plot devise I wish I thought of it.
And I really Liked how Rarity took the news of Twilight thought, Both willing to ignore it, and willing to accept it at the same time. well done.
I don't know why, but as soon as I Read
“So who are the lucky mares then?” Twilight and Rarity pointed at each other"
I was laughing my ass off, I can just see that playing out in my head it was great~!
I am a little shocked that even I did not think of spike, and how e would feel, Now I am ma I cant read any more until your next update LOL please keep up the great work!
I am definitely enjoying this. Rarilight is an unusual ship for me to set sail on, but so far, you really seem to be handling the helm well. I am now quite curious to see how this ship steers around the rocks ahead, and whether it can make it to the beautiful coast ahead or not, before sinking.
You are doing an excellent job! Please, continue!
This has promises of being a great story. I really enjoyed reading the first chapter.
However, there are some grammar and repetitive issues that I came across.
If you'd like, drop me a message and I'll be more than happy to go through each chapter and fix these up for you.
That being said, I can't wait to finish reading the rest of the chapters 
I couldn't help but notice that this chapter felt a little rushed.
It seems more like a list of things that are happening, rather than a story.
And please, please, please! Add in the so-called 'interesting' conversation they had over dinner. Even if it's not the whole conversation and you're just stating the basics of what was said, it will still be much better than just saying 'they had an interesting conversation.'
All criticism aside, I still think this is a really good story, but it could be so much more if you proof-read and fixed mistakes.
I really don't see the problems that others are seeing 
Lithe's Two's Company, Three's a crowd stories are MUCH more rushed than this is, and everybody seems to like that just fine. I think the pacing is perfectly fine, but I'm excited to see the changes you decide to make, if any, with the other commentators' recommendations. Also, I really like how you're spacing the chapters so that they encompass one full day, no more, no less. It feels really natural to read.
Ok, you fixed the problem I was seeing in chapter 3. There didn't seem to be any sort of problem for Twilight and Rarity to work through. If it kept going like that for too long it would have been very boring 
but this chapter with the re-introduction of spike and the introduction of Twilight's parents (who we don't see NEARLY enough, in the show or in fanfiction) completely solves that problem I was having.
In other notes, Appleshy is one of my favorite pairings 
Thank you all for the reviews and support! I just wanted to let you know that I have started on chapter 5 and it is likely going to be a monster chapter compared to the other four. With that said, I am hoping to have it completed with a final edited edition out before Christmas. I already have two ponies who have been kind enough to volunteer to prescreen it before it gets posted. If anyone else would like to take a crack at editing, please feel free to email me at kitzsune@hotmail.com. I will send the rough version to you upon completion. Much thanks again to you all, especially Magical Trevor and Nanomight. It's your interest in this story that has kept me going.
I am really loving this story. Twilight x Rarity is now one of my favorite shippings, and you've got it down brilliantly. Plus, you now have five plot-holes that need to be filled, which you can go about fixing up in so many ways: The future of Twilight and Rarity's relationship, the future of Rarity's home being rebuilt, how Spike handles what's gone on, how Twilight and Rarity's parents handle their children being together, and the whole subplot of Fluttershy wanting Applejack. There's so much potential here and I'm very excited to see what happens next.
Unintentional comedy a bit past halfway. "...Twilight said and she sat down across from Rarity and started eating herself." The instant I read that sentence, I couldn't help but imagine Twilight gnawing on one of her own legs, to Rarity's horror.
I'm not sure why that makes me laugh.
Ah, poor Spike. First losing Rarity to Twi, then being reminded all night long of what he has to look forward to once he's back in Ponyville.
Well, I'm sure he'll find somebody more his speed in time. After all. If all else fails, I'm sure he can guilt Twi into bestowing upon him The Power. 
I see you finally posted this :D
I did manage to get round to reading the edits yesterday, I just forgot to message you, sorry about that.
Great chapter, though I've already told you that :P
Poor Spike. It must be traumatising to have to hear that at his age ^^
I can’t believe that I meet Twilight’s mother for the first time looking like this!” She shook her head and visibly slumped. pretty sure it should be MET not MEET, but besides that great as usual. yay for appleshy we need much more of it. Poor spike, i feel sorry for him.
It's awesome to see a new chapter, and traumatized Spike is always a bonus.
This update was, through and through, extremely good. The only thing I'd object to, and it's minor, is Spike's dialogue being a bit too... wordy, for Spike. He's always spoken pretty bluntly, but it makes sense in the situation that he'd break out the 'Big Boy Sentences'.
Yes, it is still alive, and so am I. I am sorry I have not been able to give you chapter 6 yet, but life keeps getting in the way. I am currently halfway through that chapter, but have not been able to find time to continue work on it. Considering how long it is taking for me to finish writing, I will consider a co-author if anyone is interested in the position. Please send your qualifications to kitzsune@hotmail.com if you are interested in the job.
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
I am reasonably excited about the fact that this has updated.
MY FAVORITE FIC UPDATED!?
Yes! Had completely forgotten about this until it popped up in my unreads.
Spent the whole night skimming over previous chapters and remembering why I loved this so much. Absolutely loved this chapter, as well as the rest of the story! Glad to have you back in action 
I think I've never seen so obvious, and so gratifying an improvement in auctorial skill. I've been reading this from the beginning, before I registered and your early chapters were rushed and bland, but you took criticism, learned from it, improved your early chapters and wrote wonderful later chapters. It's really wonderful to behold and you should feel very, very proud.
Chapter 1:
I’ve never considered dating a mare before
Chapter 6:
However, after the fiasco at the Grand Galloping Gala with Prince Blueblood, I wasn’t sure anymore. I started to question just what it was that I was looking for in a perspective partner, and that, I will now admit, included other mares.
Did Rarity lie to Twilight or to Sweetie Belle?
PS: My favorite Rarilight is still alive? 
looks like somepony tried to hit a home run without being pitched to first 
Actually neither. When she told Twilight that she never considered dating a mare before, she meant it. That doesn't mean that the thought never crossed her mind. She just never gave it any real consideration.
So when she told Sweetie Belle that her thoughts about dating after the gala included the possibility of mares, she only meant that the thought had crossed her mind, not that she had really payed it much attention.
I hope that helps to clarify.
I have still been riding a rollercoaster health wise, but am feeling better for the most part. I am still working on my notes for chapter 7 and the introduction of Rarity's parents. Once I feel I have a solid base to work with, I'll get that chapter started. Shouldn't be much longer. In case you haven't paid any attention to my blog posts before now, I am looking for suggestions for Rarity's parent's names. I've only had a couple of suggestions so far.
Glad to hear you're feeling somewhat better. I have seen that blog but..I suck at coming up with names. Like someone mentioned for Rarity's mom being called pearl which I think is from Duties. Give me a few....weeks and I might come up with a name I deem acceptable.
meh. you put me in quite a pradicamint 
to read more
or
to stop reading and go to sleep (and get my parents to stop yelling at me to go to bed...)
but i dont wanna
yet i probly should go before they take away my labtop....
why i am even typing all of this?!
goodnight
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t is gonna hit the fan in 3... 2... 1..."
like, what the hell Hydra? Why you do this?
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