Chapter 4
Nearly a week later, Lodestar arrived in Princess Luna’s chambers to find her reading a worn tome whose title proclaimed it the Book of the Civilized Ponie.
“Good evening, Lodestar,” said the princess. “Thy suggestion was a wise one. There is much of value in these books that I had forgotten. Observe.” She straightened her posture. “Citizens of Canterlot!” she called, gesturing wildly with the book. “We have graced your festivities with our presence so that you might behold the real princess of the night! A creature of nightmares no longer, but a pony who desires your love and admiration! Together we shall change this dreadful celebration into a bright and glorious feast!” She paused and looked to Lodestar. “How was that?”
“That’s good,” said Lodestar. “Maybe a bit strong, but the important thing is that it gives you the confidence to get out there and be yourself. That’s the real point of this, Princess Luna.”
Princess Luna nodded. “With confidence or without, these books of thine have taught me how to act confident.” She set the book down. “I notice thou hast been calling me by name, of late. Why is this?”
“Have I?” Lodestar thought for a moment. “I suppose I have. It just seemed natural. You know, I’ve been getting less formal around you for a while. I suppose I called you ‘Your Highness’ when I thought of you as a ruler, but now that I think of you as a friend, it’s ‘Princess Luna’.”
“So thy informality signifies a closer friendship, does it? In that case, pray call me ‘Luna’.”
Lodestar smiled. “I’d be happy to, Luna.”
There was a knock at the door, followed by Princess Celestia’s voice. “Luna, are you in here?”
Luna’s whole body tensed. “We are,” she called back. “Come in.”
The door swung open and Princess Celestia strode in with a warm smile on her face. “I hear you’re going to come to the Nightmare Night celebration next week.”
“We are considering it, ‘tis true, although it is not certain. What of it?”
“I think it’s a wonderful idea.”
Lodestar didn’t miss the flicker of surprise that passed over Luna’s face. “Truly?”
“Of course. I’m glad to see you coming out of your shell, sister. In fact, if you’re feeling adventurous, I have an idea.”
“What is it?” asked Luna.
“I assume you’ve picked Nightmare Night, of all nights, because you want to get rid of these silly rumors about you.” When Luna hesitantly nodded, Princess Celestia continued. “If you want to confront ponies’ fears of Nightmare Moon, maybe you should go back to where it all started.”
Luna raised an eyebrow curiously. “Thou art speaking of the old castle in Everfree?”
Princess Celestia chuckled softly. “Not quite that far back. No, I was thinking of Ponyville. If you go there for Nightmare Night, you can show that you have no hard feelings towards the Elements of Harmony.”
Luna’s eyes widened. “Yes! We never did thank Twilight Sparkle and the others for their part in our return. That is an excellent idea.”
“I’m not sure,” said Lodestar. “The Canterlot event is bigger, and it might be best to meet as many ponies as possible. I mean−” She froze as she realized who she was contradicting. “Forgive me, Your Highness, I spoke out of turn,” she said to Princess Celestia.
“Not at all,” said the princess. “It’s a good point, and that’s actually part of the reason I think Ponyville might be a better choice. Ponyville’s celebration is smaller and more intimate, and I think it will be easier for you to fit in there, Luna.”
“Agreed,” said Luna. “There will be other opportunities to attend events in Canterlot. For now, I wish to begin in Ponyville. Come, Lodestar. Let us study the records of this village, that I might be prepared come Nightmare Night.”
“Actually,” said Princess Celestia, “I’d like to borrow your helper for a few minutes.”
“Very well,” said Luna. “I will proceed to the archives.” There was a flash as she teleported away, leaving Lodestar alone with Princess Celestia.
The princess turned to face Lodestar. “You’re still worried about my sister visiting Ponyville.”
“I am, Your Highness,” Lodestar admitted. “It’s an unfamiliar place, so there are more things that could go wrong. I don’t see why this village is special enough to justify this.”
“There’s somepony I’d like her to meet there. Somepony who can teach her a great deal about friendship. I have a feeling they’ll cross paths.”
Lodestar opened her mouth to speak, then thought better of it, but not before the princess noticed her expression.
“Something’s bothering you, Lodestar.”
“It’s nothing, Your Highness.”
“No, that was different. You were worried before, but just now you looked hurt. What is it?”
“It’s silly, Your Highness. It’s just, I thought I was the pony who was teaching Luna about friendship. I thought I was doing fairly well, too.”
“Nopony’s replacing you, Lodestar. My sister has clearly learned a lot from you, and I’m sure you’ll show her even more in the future. Still, for something as big and important as friendship, it’s good to have more than one teacher, don’t you think? A pony should have more than one friend.”
“I suppose so, Your Highness. I hope this idea of yours works out smoothly.”
“I don’t. Ponies can learn so much from just the right amount of chaos. Anyway, you’d better catch up to Luna before she accidentally frightens some poor scribe.”
Finding Luna proved easy, this time. Lodestar made her way to the palace archives, then followed the trail of ponies speaking in hushed tones and glancing about warily. Soon enough, she spotted Luna watching an extremely nervous clerk search through a shelf full of old parchments.
“Hello, Luna,” she said as she approached. “Did you find what you’re looking for?”
“Not as of yet. This pony hath located some relevant census data, and even now searches for Ponyville’s entry.”
“Oh.” Lodestar moved up alongside the clerk and peered at the shelf. “Can I help you with that?”
“Eheheh! Sure!” The clerk stepped aside with a brittle smile on her face. “Go right ahead, it’s alphabetical by date. I can see you have this well in hoof, so I’ll get out of your way!” Before Lodestar could respond, the pony was hurrying away somewhat more quickly than was proper.
Lodestar frowned. “Hmph. Even if she was in a hurry, she didn’t have to be so… brusque. What did I do to her?”
“I fear the problem lies not with thee, but with myself,” said Luna. “Ever since the incident with the steward, ponies have been avoiding me. I am not surprised she was so eager to leave.”
Lodestar began shuffling through the contents of the shelf. “Well, maybe Ponyville will be different.”
“I thought as much when I agreed to go there. With luck, the rumors will not have spread so far. It will be a welcome change to meet ponies who can look on me without terror. Being feared is better than being ignored, yet still it is far from pleasant.”
“Just be sure not to scare any Ponyvillains, like you did with Radiance. Even if you feel like you have a good reason, you’d end up in the same situation.”
Luna nodded. “I shall try.”
“Oh, here we are.” Lodestar pulled a sheaf of parchments from the shelf. “This looks like that census.”
“Excellent.” Luna snatched the parchments with a quick burst of telekinesis and fanned them out in front of her. “Now to use these to divine this town’s character.”
“Can you really do that with nothing but old reports?”
“I presume so, else why would we have such a thing?”
Lodestar was on her way home when she passed Morning Glory walking swiftly in the opposite direction. Lodestar smiled and waved. Morning Glory gave her a curt nod and passed by without slowing down. Her face was drawn tight and carefully blank.
Lodestar swallowed nervously as she hurried to her door and went inside. She looked around the living room for her brother. There was no sign of him.
She went to his bedroom door and found it closed. She frowned. Sunspot always left his door open. “Sunspot?” She knocked on the door. There was no answer. “I’m coming in.” She threw open the door.
Beyond was a small space, well-lit by a single enormous window, and packed with a comfortable bed, several brightly-colored beanbag chairs, and a small armoire too full to close. Sunspot was curled up on a beanbag chair and staring blankly at Morning Glory’s pink vase, which he held loosely in one hoof.
“Alright,” said Lodestar, “what happened?”
“She left me.” Sunspot’s eyes didn’t leave the vase.
Lodestar waited for Sunspot to go on. When he didn’t, she sank onto one of the bean bag chairs. “Well? You’ve got to give me more than that.”
“She said she’d had fun, but she wanted to move on. That I was taking it too seriously, and she needs more space. Then she just… walked out.”
“Then she’s a short-sighted jerk,” said Lodestar. “How are you feeling?”
“How do you think I’m feeling? I really cared about her. I mean, I’ve spent a while with one pony or another because I wanted to be with somepony, but I was with Morning Glory because I wanted to be with her. I’ve never met anyone with her drive or her energy or her way of making everything the most interesting thing in the world just because she’s interested in it. Now it turns out she just wanted to be with somepony, and I was around at the right time.”
“What you’re saying is, now you’re experiencing a breakup from the other side.”
“Yeah, and don’t think that makes this any easier,” said Sunspot. “Even if I wanted to go back to the way things were before I met her, I can’t. I’m not about to do this to anyone else. Not again, anyway.” He sighed. “Sweet Sisters, why didn’t anypony tell me it hurt this much?”
“So where do you go from here?”
“I don’t know. Where do you go when the only pony you’ve ever fallen in love with walks away without looking back?”
Lodestar reached over and smacked him lightly upside the head. “No sulking."
“Hey, come on! I’ve earned this!”
“Not that much, you haven’t. If that line were in one of your shows, you’d tell me nopony talks like that.”
“Okay, fine. But seriously, I don’t know. Morning Glory made me feel like… well, I actually didn’t know you could feel that good. Now she’s gone. I want to feel that way again, but you can’t just go out and find a pony that great.”
“Why not? You did once.”
“Yeah, I guess. It’s not easy, though.” Sunspot leaned back and let himself sink into the chair. “This whole thing stinks.”
“Well, at least you got a free vase out of it.”
“Really, Lodestar.”
“I’m serious. It’s a nice vase.”
“Come on! This isn’t funny.”
“Then why are you smiling?”
“I am not!” Sunspot managed to swallow a laugh. “I can’t believe you.”
“You’re smiling!”
Sunspot levitated a bean bag chair and flung it at Lodestar. “Let me sulk in peace, already!”
The sun was setting when Lodestar followed Luna onto the balcony outside the princess’s chambers. Beyond the black marble railing, the mountainside tumbled downwards to meet the hilly countryside. Lodestar could barely make out the lights of Ponyville in the distance. The two of them stood silently for several minutes before Luna spoke. “I would thank thee for arriving early this evening.”
“Not at all. I wasn’t about to let you leave tonight without at least seeing you off. Are you sure you don’t want me to go to Ponyville with you?”
“Indeed. It is best if I learn to do this myself without relying overmuch on any one pony.”
“That’s your sister talking.”
Luna shrugged. “Mayhaps, but she is wiser in these matters than I. Her advice doth seem sound, in any case.”
“If you say so.”
“A moment,” said Luna. “It is time.”
Luna closed her eyes in concentration, and her horn began to glow. It was faint at first, but quickly brightened until Lodestar had to look away. The sky grew darker, and the sun slipped below the horizon. Stars winked into existence, first singly, then in small groups, then quicker than the eye could follow, until they stretched across the sky. Finally, the moon floated gently over the horizon to shine across Equestria.
The glow from Luna’s horn abruptly vanished. The princess was breathing heavily, but she was smiling. “It is done. Nightmare Night has begun.”
“That was incredible! I can’t believe I never saw you do that before.”
“Thou art the first save my sister to witness that since my return.”
Lodestar peered off into the darkness outside the palace. “I think I see your carriage coming. Are you ready?”
“As ready as I am able,” said Luna. “In my studies, I also rediscovered the Royal Canterlot Voice. It seems I popularized this style before my exile, although I do not remenber doing so. I am now prepared to use it to its full effect once again.”
Lodestar shrugged. “I can’t say I’ve heard of it, but anything that helps you break the ice is bound to be a good idea.”
Two pegasi arrived outside the balcony, pulling the royal carriage. They maneuvered the carriage to the edge of the railing and hovered in place. “Your Highness,” said one of them. “We’re prepared to escort you to Ponyville whenever you’re ready.”
Lodestar paused. “I’ve never seen royal guards dressed like that before.”
“Yes, ma’am,” said the pegasus. “It’s for the festivities, ma’am. Princess Celestia’s orders, ma’am.”
Luna rolled her eyes. “My sister’s sense of humor is unsubtle as always.” She flapped her wings once, propelling herself upward and landing easily on the balcony’s railing.
“You’re sure you’re ready?” asked Lodestar.
“No,” said Luna, “but that is rather the point, is it not?”
“I suppose. I’ll be waiting to hear all about it when you get back.”
“Do not worry, Lodestar. Thou hast prepared me for this as well as anypony can. If nothing else, I will learn a great deal this night.”
“I know. And I’m glad you’re taking this step. Now go on, show those villagers that they’ve got nothing to be afraid of.”
Luna smiled. “I believe I shall.” She stepped lightly into the carriage. “Let us be off.”
The royal guards surged forward, shooting away from the balcony with the carriage in tow. Lodestar watched them go until Luna was out of sight.
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The only suggestion I have for this chapter is to please actually describe Luna's guards. We know what they look like, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't show us.
Midnight's covered one issue, now I'm covering another. Write moar!
This is highly enjoyable. Your original characters are charming, and Lodestar's change in attitude is very natural and convincing.
Complete?
But I want moooooooooooooore!!!
Please, tell us what happens after nightmare night !!!
Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! /whining
I very much enjoyed your take on Luna. She's assertive even when awkward and not desperate to please Celestia. It fits in very well with the Luna we saw in Luna Eclipsed. I hope you write more.
It's finished? Aww... I really enjoyed this. I see no reason why this can't continue - Um, that is, if you want to, of course.
I truly enjoyed this one and I hope you write a sequel! Adorably awkward Luna is adorable
wow!! this Luna is the BEST Luna, I love her old fashioned mannerisms :D Please please continue this story, drag the damned thing out with ridiculously long dialogue, I beg of thee!
This was well done. My only criticism is that it's implied in the show that Luna dosn't use the Royal We when addressing Celestia, which makes sense as Celestia isn't her subject.
688469
Good point about the formatting. I'm still getting used to how fimfic works, and I'll definitely do that for my next story.
693341
I honestly don't know how I managed to miss that.
703121 (and similar)
I wouldn't expect a sequel. The main characters' arcs are pretty much finished. I've got a vague idea for a somewhat related Luna story, but A) it's separate enough that I don't know if Lodestar would even appear in it, and B) it's currently maybe sixth in my list of things to write. Odds that I'll get around to it are low.
I went into this expecting to read a chapter to get a feel for the piece, then head to sleep. Instead, I read through the whole thing, dreading the end simply because I did not want to be forced to stop. Like others, I was left wanting more, though I do feel that this is in some ways a good thing. (Perhaps the difficulty is in knowing what comes next in the story of Luna, and wanting to see how you portray the aftermath of Nightmare Night?) In any case, I greatly enjoyed reading this.
An interesting take on Luna, though not one that really jibes with my own view. Luna forgetting that ponies need to breathe stretches believability to the breaking point. I'd expect that after just one major incident Luna would be able to come up with a couple of basic rules (1. Don't directly cast a spell on another pony without their permission; 2. Don't make large environmental changes in the presence of another pony without considering the consequences) that she'd be able to follow. There's a fine line between habit and stupidity.
Lodestar's character was too simple in my view, perhaps because of the limited number of other characters she could work against (and in the case of Luna, she was overshadowed). Sunspot's side-story didn't really go anywhere satisfying, and suffered from tell-don't-show syndrome.
But... on the balance, I did enjoy this story. The writing style is good and it does get a lot of mileage out of the literal "out of this world" thought patterns and mannerisms that Luna displays, and I did empathize with Lodestar. So, I'll call this good... but not great.
This does not feel complete.
I realize that the events of 'Luna Eclipsed' happen immediately afterwards, but I do not feel a sense of closure from reading this.
In my honest opinion, this needs an epilogue. Something to describe the aftermath of 'Luna Eclipsed' from these characters' points of view.
I love Lodestar and Sunspot. The characterization of those OC's made them, I daresay, almost as enjoyable as Luna herself! I wouldn't be the least bit disappointed if any of your future stories happened to involve these two amazing characters.
I liked it. There was nice character interaction even without having some major conflict which is tied up with a bow by the end of the story. Suspot learns his lesson and Luna's story arc continues into "Luna Eclipsed." My only concern is that I feels like Lodestar herself could have done with a more clearly defined conflict and resolution by the end of the story.
874777
Yeah, I definitely had some trouble with the pacing of the conflicts. Lodestar's arc is resolved around the beginning of the third act, and it was a struggle to keep her engaged until the end. I think that's the biggest weakness left in this story. Leaving Luna's arc unresolved until Luna Eclipsed was a risk, and it looks like I've had mixed reactions to it, but it's gratifying to hear that it worked for you.
(Good catch on the Gilbert & Sullivan bit, by the way. I was wondering if anyone saw that.)
(Hi! Here by backlink from your comment on No Regrets. Thanks for your thoughtful feedback there!)
Augh. Four chapters and done? I feel a lot like I did when I got to the end of Chapter 11 of Contraptionology! (it was the last chapter at the time). I was flabbergasted. The bad guy won. "That can't be the end," I said. Of course, in that case, I complained to some friends, and promptly felt foolish when someone pointed out the story's "incomplete" tag.
Here, I'm with Crisis: the story just feels incomplete. I realize you're unlikely to address it -- which is reasonable -- but it really would benefit from additional writing. Leading the story up to Nightmare Night and resolving Luna's arc by implication leaves the reader with the same complaint that Lodestar had: we've put in all the work and gotten invested here, and now the payoff is happening somewhere else.
Having resolved Lodestar's arc in the previous chapter also (as you've noted) makes Ch4 feel like a build-up instead of a resolution. Since she's already had her big moment, it feels like her appearances are setting up another conflict and another arc that wants more resolution down the road. ("I thought I was the pony who was teaching Luna about friendship ..." strikes me as key. After a chat like that, no matter how much Celestia may reassure, there's going to be some doubt gnawing at her -- doubt which I suspect Nightmare Night would only reinforce.)
And hey, what about Morning Glory's arc? She waltzed in, screwed up the lives of every single protagonist, and waltzed out. Now that she's no longer on speaking terms with any of the protagonists, there's a lot of karma waiting to be unleashed, and Lodestar has a lot of good reasons to unleash it, and/or leverage her into cleaning up some of the damage they caused.
(Unrelatedly, I briefly wondered -- at the Ch3 glassblowing scene -- whether Morning Glory was Celestia in disguise. Decided against it, because she wouldn't have written something so damaging to her sister. But the idea of her being so good at something so important to Luna's character had me leaping for parallels that may or may not exist.)
Anyway, stepping back: the fact that I'm trying so hard to ask you for more should be all you need to know about what I thought of your story.
You're clearly comfortable with stories with depth, and following intriguing premises out from canon to their logical ends. Both wonderful traits that are making me look forward to more.
The wordplay especially was a high point -- I stopped with some delight to look up Luna's esoteric vocabulary -- and for as much and as well as your concept of sesguin was used, I would have loved to see it further still. (One nitpick: You want "inamorata" instead of "inamorato", since the -o version refers to a masculine partner, and your clever setup to its reuse at the tail end of Ch1 would be even better if it were accurate.)
Best,
-H
1170493
In hindsight, it probably would've been a good idea to include a brief epilogue. I would've had to restructure a lot of the third act, but it would've been a stronger ending as a standalone piece. I think the best way to take this story is to read it and watch Luna Eclipsed immediately afterwards... but people aren't actually going to do that. Lesson learned, I guess.
As for Morning Glory, she was intended more as the impetus behind Sunspot's arc than as a fully fleshed-out character with an arc of her own. Writing this, I didn't feel like she needed to get her comeuppance in the same way Radiance did. All she's guilty of is A) doing to Sunspot what Sunspot did to Starlight Song and B) publishing an article that was entirely true. She's basically the mechanism by which other characters' bad decisions take effect. As to her actually being Celestia, I may have to steal that (or something very much like it) if I ever get around to writing One Giant Leap.
I'll admit to having more fun with the wordplay and theme naming than is probably justified. Good catch with "inamorata"— I'm not sure how I missed that.
As far as "following premises to their logical ends" goes... well, this is nothing compared to Mortal, my current project. Feel free to PM me if you want to know more. You've got a good eye for character, and I could use an outside opinion on my early draft.
"The glow from Luna’s horn abruptly vanished. The princess was breathing heavily,"
Breathing? She didn't it before at all, why now? And I would think that rising moon shouldn't be that hard for her. More like snap of the fingers( hooves ;) ).
Great story BTW.
Epilogue would be niiiice *hinthint*.
708044
As incredibly late of a response as this is, I must make my voice be heard!
I recently decided to find this story in the vast repository of stories that my Fimfiction account holds, and upon finding it, was reminded that it was completed. Lodestar's character was one I loved to read about, and I really (really, really, really, really, really, really, etc.) want a sequel :C.
So... please? Pwetty pwease?
Note: I wonder if it's because I always use the Lodestar scorestreak on BO2...
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSCyBcDxU7lZApq2WI9PT-h7Rb05KpT5BNdNB98E4mHvOkwk8G_NA How this reminded me of this story is up to interpretation...
1766208
I'm afraid I'm going to have to disappoint you. Writing Lodestar was great fun, but she's learned what she needed to learn and I don't see room to continue her story in a way that's worthy of the character. I tried to start a sequel about Luna, but that story refused to come together. (I know what the beginning and end need to be, but the middle is a big question mark.) Besides, there's still so much ponyfic I need to write that doesn't involve these characters at all.
1785592
Suddenly, a mushroom cloud formed over a town, followed by a loud explosion.
Aw, I knew nothing good would come from this. Perhaps one day inspiration will strike and you will be able to use Lodestar once again. However, that's besides the point. I respect the fact that you can develop a great character and leave said character with those qualities of greatness, rather than ruining said character in a later installment (we've all read those sequels where the author accidentally "broke" a great character and/or idea.) Maybe I should read several more of your stories instead of sticking to one...
Well, thanks for the response. Despite being saddened, I know I'll read another story that will make me flip more desks than the previous one xD.
Very lovely story. Honestly the story felt too short. It really felt like there should be more to it so I suppose if the worst I can say is more ppelase, that makes it a pretty damn awesome fic *grins*
Love how much progress they both made.