Not long after Nightmare Moon being defeated by the Mane Six and the Elements of Harmony, Luna returns to her normal life in Canterlot. Not long after being there, she learns of the Element of Magic: Twilight Sparkle, and learns more about her feelings than ever before.
(I intend to get part 3 started in January)
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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*reads description* YES! TWILUNA!! The best shipping pair since Sparity!
*reaches end of chapter* ..... Wait, thats it? The momentum was only starting to build up until it reached the end. You barely left the initial station with any speed before reaching the end of the line. Im not saying to make each chapter a 15000 word epic but give us a bit more. Unless your going the short chapters but frequent route and stick to it. Then its more acceptable.
Nice start so far, the ride felt a little short is all.
<13:11:42> "Princess"
: when celestia exclaims you don't need to make an exclamation out of the quotation marks
<13:11:44> "Princess"
: skypi
<13:12:38> "Princess"
: the only problems I see is punctuation errors. You could explain a little bit more, but whatever.
"Mane 6"
They are never referred to such in the show, so it seems very odd for Celestia to say that. And six should be spelled out rather than just a number.
I'll make sure to edit that. Thanks!
I like it so far, but the chapters are too short.
Yeah, the chapters are too short.
Okay. I will try to make the chapters more longer, but that will take more time. I'm doing short chapters but frequent updates. I can change the style if you want.
The style is ok, maybe you could add more info about the character´s reactions so it wouldnt be so hard to extend the chapters. Like when luna disrespectuffly answered celestia´s letter you could have added info about spike and rarity reaction (both rarity and spike could have thought that she was really bold, or that she was acting all teenage-ish).
````````````
Muffins?
Quality is better than quantity.
seems a bit...rushed?
Yes, FIRST!
and, as always a very well written chapter
Thank you.
Talking to yourself isn't a sign of insanity. Responding to yourself is.
"Dad, are you space."
"Yes, son. Now we are a family."
"SPAAAAAAACE!!!"
"How yo act, eat, and such"
pretty sure 'yo' is not tin the royal vernacular
tracked. 5 stars (I'm pretty much a binary voter)
Any TwiLuna deserves a high rating.
A GREATLY written one, such as this, deserves more. Well done, sir.
Why thanks. That'll surely help!
Moar plox! But seriously. Great work. I'm hoping to see more soon!
I will take your advice into Casper, and sorry Frost Azure, the holidays caught me off guard with expensive things, so I will get back on a regular schedule after New years!
hmmm.... that seemed a tad rushed to me
what the hay, i liked it anyway.
sounds like some filly is getting ahead of herself
Love at first read.
For both Luna, and me.
MORE
Anyone still following this want me to make another part?
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES MAKE MORE PARTS
3605231 Just found it...
Even before I read it I prefer to find stories that are complete.
3605231 your behind on your updates!!!
she proposed to twilight after few weeks