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  • 52w, 2d
    arousal

    3 comments · 188 views
  • ...
 51
 2,571

Twist is a complex filly with simple needs. When circumstance prevents her from fulfilling her desires, things can get quite chaotic for everypony around her.

A tale of rivalry, thirst, and shameless corporate tie-ins.

First Published
1st Jun 2012
Last Modified
1st Jun 2012
#1 · 130w, 3h ago · · ·

This was beautiful. I for one would love to see an ad with the Pepsi Man and the Coke bear fighting against each other.

#2 · 130w, 3h ago · · ·

That was so great that...that...that...

*Mindblown*

#3 · 130w, 3h ago · · ·

Just keep posting fics. I'll be here to read them. :ajsmug:

#4 · 130w, 2h ago · · ·

Dear God... You're freaking ridiculous, you know that? (in a totally awesome way)

#5 · 130w, 2h ago · · ·

Actually, Santa Claus is not the result of Coke's advertising.

He's the result of the Christians' eforts to convert the Norse to their religion.

So they made Odin a fat old man in a red suit.

#6 · 129w, 6d ago · · ·

This is brilliant and will now make sure Twist drinks pepsi in any fic I ever write. Whatever-god-you-worship bless your heart and take my cold severed thumbs.

#7 · 129w, 6d ago · · ·

Make sure to listen to this while reading the Pepsi-Man part: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z54MpfR3XE4&feature=related

Pepsi-Maaaaaan!

Lol! That goddamn ending! lol!

#8 · 129w, 6d ago · · ·

>>682301 Well, yes and no. Santa isn't Odin, he's a reincarnation of a winter goddess who used to ride through the sky on a white horse. She got supplanted by "saint nicholas" (I think he was from Turkey?) and transported to the north pole (Lapland, actually). Coke (according to some) reinvented Santa - whether they did or didn't, they certainly did do a metric buttload of advertising with him, using his red and white attire to push the drinking of coke not just in summer but also in winter (previously a time when sales of coke lulled).

But hey, christmas is only during Saturnalia because the christians wanted to stamp out the pagan festivals (like halloween, easter, christmas and midsummer), so it's hardly surprising that a pagan goddess is (through what is obviously an r63 potion) now the spirit of winter.

#9 · 129w, 6d ago · · ·

>>683873

Actually, no. Ever hear of Yule?

According to Norse myth, Odin went on a hunt that time every year in a sleigh pulled by Sleipnir.

The stockings, gift-giving, and cookies? Originally children would leaves socks to dry above the fire, and leave carrots for Sleipnir. Then 'Odin' would leave sweets and small toys in the stockings for the good children after taking the carrots.

http://satwcomic.com/merry-christmas

Shit son, Coke v.s. Pepsi is just a tiny school yard squabble compared to the shitstorms started by drunk Norsemen and the topic of who gets Santa.

#10 · 129w, 5d ago · · ·

>>687139

I think the real question is, where in the fic did I claim that Coca-Cola invented or even reinforced the contemporary image of Santa Claus?

All I said was that they used him as one of the most successful marketing icons of all time.

#11 · 129w, 5d ago · · ·

you made the basketball team

#12 · 129w, 5d ago · · ·

Fantastic.

#14 · 129w, 5d ago · · ·

I almost NEVER read Fanfics but this....this was absolutely amazing. Great job and keep it up.

#15 · 129w, 5d ago · · ·

>>687139>>683873 Your both right. So let's leave it at that.

At 27 I've been drinking Pepsi for almost as long as I have lived and I shall never stop. Now pardon me as I drink "The Choice of a New Generation". (For those who don't know that was Pepsi's slogan from '84 to '91)

#16 · 129w, 5d ago · · ·

Bronies and Anti-Bronies in a nutshell.

#17 · 129w, 5d ago · · ·

>>687911

Almost? Well, I guess that would explain why you have an account on here. If it was never, I would be blown right now.

#18 · 129w, 5d ago · · ·

Dafuq did I just read?

I'm conflicted. Twist is probably one of my favorite background ponies. But...

Pepsi's gross.

#19 · 129w, 5d ago · · ·

>>687471

Man, I'll take any opportunity I can to teach about Norse tradition.

#20 · 129w, 5d ago · · ·

>>688226

BITCH WACHU SAY BOUT PEPSI?

#21 · 129w, 5d ago · · ·

You had me at "It tasted of tin and forlorn hope".

#22 · 129w, 5d ago · · ·

This is the greatest thing.

#23 · 129w, 5d ago · · ·

>>687139 I think it's a case of cross-pollination, to be honest, and of certain themes being universal - giving thanks, giving tithes and all that... and oh my gosh yes, santa-wars get pretty heated :pinkiecrazy:

#24 · 129w, 5d ago · · ·

I regret not reading this earlier.

#25 · 129w, 5d ago · · ·

I personally prefer Dr. Pepper or root beer...

#26 · 129w, 5d ago · · ·

Thith thtory ith flawlethth in every w- :twistnerd:

Ahem.

This story is absolutely perfect. Everything you write seems to be fucking gold, and nice job with the use of the advertising. Pepsiman showed up, and I was floored.

#27 · 129w, 5d ago · · ·

Oh wow. I love this. I predicted the "too warm" joke early on, but it was still funny when it came. Really, the whole thing was hilarious. I have no idea why Twist talks like Luna, but it works. :twistnerd:

Also, Pepsi FTW. :pinkiehappy: I just wish PepsiCo would settle on a proper logo.

#28 · 129w, 5d ago · · ·

>>687471  I'm surprised so few people know THE TRUTH!!!

Coca-cola execs from the year 2251 used time dilation microfissures to go back in time and establish the Odin legend so that they could then hijack it with Saint Nicholas (a corporate spy from San Diego, New Jersey... New Jersey rules the world in 2251).  Then, at the end of the 19th century they could enact their plans to remake the image into the modern Santa Claus, thus guaranteeing the future in which Coca Cola rules half the galaxy by 2251.

Pepsi owns the other half, so Coca Cola execs dress us like Vorlons and call the Pepsi execs "Shadows" so that the other races will fight them, not knowing that the entire galactic battle is over which soda is best.  And then the "First Ones" (Mountain Dew and RC Cola) will emerge and convince them all that it's not worth fighting over and leave beyond the Rim for what lies between galaxies (a suburb of Detroit, I'm told).

I KNOW DA TRUTH!!!  :pinkiecrazy:

#29 · 129w, 5d ago · · ·

Don't really like Pepsi but hehehe this was awesome. The ending only made it 100x better. :rainbowlaugh:

#30 · 129w, 5d ago · · ·

Doctor Whooves wanders in, "Anypony got a bottle of Mr. Pib?"

Ale the ponies turn around with faces twisted in malice, "KILL THE INFIDEL!!!"

Doctor Whooves shrieks and gallops for his lives!

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer
#31 · 129w, 5d ago · · ·

I for one welcome our new corporate sponsors.

#32 · 129w, 5d ago · · ·

the awkward moment when i have a bad lisp, where u cant understand me unless you knew me for a month and i cant read what twist is saying half of the time.

#33 · 129w, 5d ago · · ·

Hmm, I don't really drink cola.

#34 · 129w, 4d ago · · ·

>>692250 psst

me neither

#35 · 129w, 4d ago · · ·

I, unlike most of you, drink Cherry Dr. Pepper,for a cool cherry taste!

#37 · 129w, 4d ago · · ·

Snips and Snails prefer RC cola

#38 · 129w, 4d ago · · ·

>>695986 you caught me! abandon ship, abandon ship!!

#39 · 129w, 4d ago · · ·

And I sort of half-expected Dr. Pepper to jump into the brawl and start mixing it up.

Hilarious fic. xD Absolutely bloody brilliant.

#40 · 129w, 3d ago · · ·

It doesn't matter whether is Coke or Pepsi, I hate both :pinkiecrazy:, but seriously I don't like sodas in general, this fic was awesome though.

#41 · 129w, 1d ago · · ·

I prefer Pepsi to Coke as well since Pepsi is slightly sweeter. :pinkiehappy:  

Also, why does the way Twist talks in this fic remind me of Poshul from Chrono Cross?  

#42 · 128w, 4d ago · · ·

ending is just lol! It's to warm! LOLOLOL!

#43 · 127w, 4d ago · · ·

I did the 100th like!:heart: That counts for something, right?

#44 · 127w, 2d ago · · ·

Coke has no taste whatsoever and you might as well be drinking battery acid, because the Dentist office I go to has an article posted up at the front desk on drinks and how corrosive they are to your teeth.  I love Pepsi and Dr. Pepper because I can actually taste what I'm drinking. :pinkiesmile:  Keep up the good work.

#45 · 127w, 1d ago · · ·

I never even thought that I would ever see Pepsiman in a pony fic, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised considering some of the other things I've read.

Also;

>>683559

THANK YOU FOR POSTING THAT. I was listening to it via a gameplay vid from the old PS1 game, it's truly glorious to hear it in its high quality, full version goodness.

#46 · 127w, 1d ago · · ·

>>783086

You're welcome. :pinkiehappy: I love that theme.

#47 · 126w, 11h ago · · ·

Now I'm thirsty.

#48 · 125w, 3d ago · · ·

This was positively glorious.  I especially shed manly tears at that fight scene.  SO very epic :fluttershysad:

Sorry to Silver Spoon but I'mma have to back Twist on this one.  I always preferred Pepsi to Coke...although I am not ashamed to admit I drink both.  :derpyderp1:

#49 · 122w, 5d ago · · ·

So much were you paid for brand promotion? :pinkiecrazy:

#50 · 98w, 2h ago · · ·

I highly enjoyed this story, and it made me laugh. Thank you for writing this. It was wonderful.:pinkiehappy:

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