• Member Since 6th May, 2014
  • offline last seen Feb 14th, 2018

Sky Sprinter


Brony since mid-2014 and still kickin' it! Novice story writer and hoping to entertain y'all with my stories. You may also refer to me as Derron116 as that's my screen name on most other places.

Comments ( 9 )

I see two intros. Is the one with more words supposed to be the prologue?

My suggestions:
~Give us only one introductory chapter where all the boring stuff summed up here is explained. So far, it's nothing but boring exposition and that's no fun to read. It's also not a good idea to just throw out all the prologue stuff with no actual story taking place (i.e. an actual chapter instead of the intro stuff here, the main meat of the actual story).

~It's dangerous to go alone, get an editor (or two). My suggestion would be to post editing requests on the Fallout Groups as groups like Looking for Editors are all a bunch of rotten c:pinkiegasp:ts.

:trollestia:

6565949
I think I messed up on that chapter's name, the second one was meant to be called Prologue but I gaffed up. That mistake of mine shall be fixed.

6569604
I wanted to use the style that the original FO:E gave with its introduction and prologue but I might combine those two chapters for leanness sake.
I might go about getting myself an editor... maybe...

6569787 FoE's hard enough to write well as it is, Bro(ny). Editor is best pony.:duck:

:trollestia:

Two things. One, this story sounds great, but what the heck is a 'crystal rifle'? Is it a laser weapon or is it a lead-based rifle the fires enchanted rounds like a zebra rifle? And two, I'm totally up for being your editor! I got some experience working with this kind of stuff and I can spot plenty of errors when reading. The stories good, don't let those dislikes get you down!

6579536
The explanation of the Crystal Rifle shall come soon, which should have come earlier but the next chapter or the one after that shall come with the explanation.
And I'd love for you to become my editor, consider yourself signed up, amigo! I hope we have a productive relationship here.

6579848 Great! Can't wait to help another story get off the ground

Your book has been advertised on the new foe facebook group page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/foebooks/ :)

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