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Read the journal of future Applejack as she relives her past and tries to fix the things that went wrong. Her first attempt to change things for the better causes events to spiral so far out of control that Applejack's future knowledge is of little help. At least her parents are there to support her this time around, even if they are starting to question her mental health.
A Peggy Sue / For Want of a Nail fanfic. Rated “T” for violence.
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Love it!!!!
Very unique premise. Looking forward to more.
Though, I did find a weird typo. When Applejack went back, you introduced Cheerilee and then changed her name to Write.
6532518 im pretty sure cherilee was just a filly at this point, and write was their teacher.
i like the premise, and the writing is good, although the pacing seems a bit off, and i would like to see more of applejacks emotions at the situation.
It's a good start bring more.
As is shown in The Cutie Mark Chronicles (S1E23), Rarity was in school with Cheerilee, there was another teacher at that time. Since both Rarity & AJ are from Ponyville & were in school at the same time, it is probable they knew each other. However, Look Before You Sleep (S1E8) clearly shows they were NOT friends.
6533214 I was thinking maybe they were friends as fillies but had a falling out sometime before Twilight arrived. But I guess I should explain that in the narrative if it's bothering you.
6532567 Hm, yeah, I guess AJ could stand to be a bit more emotional seeing her parents. It's kind of hard to write a comedy about the protagonist saving her parents from a gruesome fate. I have a feeling it'll get easier to write after I get through the first "act."
Actually, IMO that is possible. Considering Rarity's reaction when Trenderhoof went for AJ instead of her (ICR which episode), I've often thought it possible that wasn't the 1st time something like that happened. ("What do they see in that uncouth hillbilly? As a lady, I prefer not to speculate on such sordid matters. But, I'm damned if I'll let it happen again" -or so I imagine Rarity saying). I've got 3 sisters & a fuss over a guy will break up a friendship in no time flat.
Huh. I've seen the same concept, only with Twilight. And it was because she went crazy after outliving everypony she knew.
Interesting take. I'll keep my eye on it
6536509 Yeah, I had only seen this idea with Twilight, and one time loop fanfic with Pinkie Pie (only she was sent back by mysterious forces), but I'd never seen it with Applejack either. I'm hoping this fanfic will be similar-yet-different enough to get people's interest, if that makes sense.
Little miss loop-hole messes with time. Will the element of honesty even resonate with her in the changed timeline? Of course AJ could always be the element of loyalty leaving RD to be honesty.
I feel that you've done a great job in writing in AppleJack's voice, and I'm glad you were able to continue using it in the second chapter as it certainly benefitted the piece overall.
I'm curious and more than a little excited to hear how these pieces connect with AppleJack's state at the time of her writing this, and why she felt the need to include the 'If you're reading this' bit.
I, as the reader, had a hard time imagining Arbor's voice. I may go back and re-read them to see if I can get a better grasp of it, and maybe I'm just misunderstanding where you're coming from.
In totality, this was a very enjoyable story. Thank you.
A few points
The CMCs' clubhouse was originally AJ's. From what I recall of my teen years, Big Mac did NOT hang out with his little sister
AJ has been to Manehatten at least twice & never made any attempt to contact the Oranges. This implies she is not on good terms w them
Both AJ & Rarity are from Ponyville, they must have known each other. Look Before You Sleep, they were NOT friends. Possibly they quarreled over a colt? (ICR the episode, but Trenderhoof implies this isn't the1st time that happened)
Rarity's Cutie Mark story doesn't add up. The time needed is too long. That rock must have been no more than an hour's travel from her home. Considering the transport problem, the rock might even have been in her back yard. Drama Queen Rarity greatly exaggerated the hardships involved.
Oh yeah Fluttershy's Cutie Mark story & Hurricane Fluttershy. Either the ponies are REALLY little or butterflies are REALLY. REALLY strong
Maybe they should get firearms now...
Sweet, very glad this isn't dead.
6669916 I imagine him almost like a male Siri most of the time, although that probably doesn't help get his emotions across. He's not supposed to sound robotic, just proper.
6669964
Well, keep in mind that their ages are hard to pin down. I see AJ as about 8 or 9 (physically, at least) and Mac is 11 to 13, probably just hitting puberty. I also imagine that AJ and Mac are much closer than most siblings. There's also the question of who would Mac hang out with, if not his family? Also, I've never been a teenage boy, and both of my brothers were younger, so it might be a challenge to write the big brother/little sister dynamic believably.
From what I recall of my Intro to Psychology Class (40+ years ago)
All young children identify w their mother. As they get older, boys have to shift over to their fathers. This means they go through a "girls are icky" stage. It is a necessary distancing mechanism. They outgrow this -eventually. (IIRC my psych class correctly)
Plus, ALL kids want to hang out w kids their own age & not do "baby stuff" w little kids. Arthur & D.W. (from Arthur) or Becky & TJ (Word Girl) are typical. Or, the kid's book The Great One & The Pain They love each other dearly -when they aren't trying to murder each other. At least, that is how I remember it. Yes, they often (though not always) outgrow this & become friends, but that is later.
6672173 Hm...I'm no psychologist, but I guess I could try to have Mac hang out with Cheerilee later on if it's bothering you that much that he's not spending time with kids his age (Mac and Cheerilee are the same age in this story; I think some people were confused about that). Plus it'd be Cheerimac shipping fuel! But honestly, I have much bigger plans for this story that have nothing to do with who Big Mac is hanging out with.
I guessed that much. (This is about AJ, not Big Mac, after all) I would point out that Rarity is the only other member of the Mane 6 to live in Ponyville until after they got their Cutie Marks, so any memorable interaction w them would be a MAJOR time shift. The only stallion I can think of about Big Mac's age would be Thunderlane (From Hurricane Fluttershy, usually considered Rumble's older brother) & who knows if he is even in Ponyville at this point in time?
Huh. And here I thought her cutie mark was gonna turn out as a phoenix hatching from an apple.
It would've made plenty sense.
But a "loophole" also is a fitting mark. I suppose she doesn't need to take charge of the farm anymore, now that her parents didn't die.
Uh... Future-Bloom, is that you in there already?
What to do with the chimeras now?
I'm gonna say use the human approach.
Kill 'em all.
6714956 It was tempting to kill them off.
6716151 ...Somehow, I expect those two chimeras to be the parents of that one chimera we saw in "somepony to watch over me".
...So it would be quite the shock for Applejack to realize she was seriously considering to inflict the same pain of loosing their parents on another, even if it is a predator.
6721470 Wow, that's actually what I was thinking of when I wrote that scene. Of course, AJ didn't make that connection, but I'm glad you were able to pick up on that! I even toyed with the idea of the Apples finding a baby chimera after they killed the parents, but that would've taken the story in a direction I that didn't really want to go.
6723767 Oooh. I didn't even think of the chimera still being a baby at the time, more like... AJ's current age, so more of a "filly".
They could've adopted her (them?) though.
Although I was more thinking along the lines of:
On their return-trip, they find a young chimera trying to help her injured parents to get away, maybe from some other predator.
And... maybe it tugs at AJ's heartstrings, and the Apples end up scaring off the other predators, or something.
Nice chapter. Maybe a few too many references, though. Keep up the good work!
6891471 Ah, it was the liquid pride comment that overdid it, huh?
You know it makes me wonder if going back in time effect the events of the show. I wonder the Tree of Harmony we'll still choose Apple Jack?
Mighty interesting stuff. Will keep watching if there will be more.
I'm following this story for sure.
This ever going to be continued? Time paradox stories are always entertaining.
7374543 Dang, I forgot that I even uploaded a third chapter for this. Yeah, I'd like to continue it eventually, I just got distracted.
7375219 That would be cool. Maybe use the journal to cover the next few years until Appleblooms future self enters her 6 year old body. Probably notice AJs cutie mark is different right away which would let AJ know she arrived. Then i dunno after that. Time paradoxes are so much fun to think about
I really hope you pick this story back up
Hooray! And it only took you over a year.
Awww so adorable, AJ turned into a widdle loophole seeking stinker.
7946809 Right? Thanks for sticking with it that long.
A very sweet slice-of-life chapter. I would love to see how the play goes. Applejack could play the guitar, if there's a part for that.
7950984 Glad you enjoyed it. But this is actually just the calm before the storm. Sooner or later the Adventure tag is gonna kick back in.
" “Awww, the little one gave usss away,” said the cobra head. “Can I eat it firssst?” "
This is why the ponies need shotguns.
Earth pony magic phew isn't That a huge debate in the fandom of
So when she came back from Manehatten, the orchard was blighted? Better start working on that, although durned if I know how she'll explain it to her parents. Maybe keep a close eye out for patient zero & jump on it super hard?
There are exceptions but most diseases are species specific. Risk of infection, she's better off kissing a pig than a pony
8083976 Good points. Yeah, Applejack will have to keep a close eye on the orchard to nip the disease in the bud. She's still got a lot on her plate even though the worst is over (or is it?).
Thinking about "Who is next & when?" Everyone should be OK until Rainboom Day. Then, in an unsupervised/unauthorized race, Dash knocks Fluttershy to what would have been her death except for a miracle (even by EQ standards). If I was in charge of that camp, I'd take a DAMN dim view of that. Least I can see happening is Dash getting kicked out & some councilors getting fired. (& that assumes no serious injuries)
Griffon the Brush Off, Gilda knows Dash from camp, but doesn't seem to know Fluttershy. This makes sense if you assume Dash was sent to another camp.
God knows, if I was Fluttershy, I'd NEVER go back to that camp. So, maybe she moved to Ponyville to be near her beloved critters?
7956869
Y'ALL CAN EAT MAH BOOM STICK!
*BOOM*
Annnnnd you just doomed the world to eternal night.
Wait, false alarm.
Well this is a neat idea. I think Applejack is the most intriguing of the 6 to be sent back to change history, because she's so pragmatic, yet bold. Hope you have luck writing it in the future. I'm particularly curious how Applejack is going to feel when Rarity gets dragged off to her destiny. Or what she's going to think years later, meeting Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. Or years after that, meeting Twilight. Is Applejack gonna fix her sprinklers preemptively? Is she gonna try to reunite with her distant maybe-relatives over at the rock farm? Is she going to take a trip to
Dodge Junctionthe-Frozen-North-but-inexplicably-desertlike-mesas to see Starlight's village? Or heck, maybe the village Starlight was born in? It's about time for a certain lonely filly's betrayal.8213926
Thanks for the comment. Applejack’s pragmatism is the main reason I decided to put her in this type of time travel story. I’ve read a few fanfics with Twilight time traveling and trying to micro-manage everything, and frankly this approach started to annoy me. On a similar note, I’d also like to read a time travel fic with Rainbow traveling to the past - I imagine her approach would be halfway between AJ’s practicality and Starlight’s who-gives-a-crap attitude. Eh, maybe I’ll write one for RD someday if I have time.
Anyway, glad I got you thinking about the different possibilities. I probably won’t write far enough into the future for AJ to meet all of the M6, much less Starlight. But she is going to meet some other interesting characters, without giving too much away.
Shots fired! Shots fired!
8215215
Starlight Glimmer actually is getting her heart broken right now. It's not far into the future at all. Then again, it's really not Applejack's business, so she probably wouldn't interfere unless forced. It's just we don't know much about the past from the show, and I was looking for opportunities for Applejack to end up in a pickle.
...on a semi-related note, is AJ going to be like
and Diamond isn't even due for another like, 5 years. (Knowing the future can seriously change the way you look at somepony.)