• Published 13th Oct 2015
  • 963 Views, 8 Comments

Discord Saves Equestria - The Devious Writer



Celestia invites Discord to help plan defenses against changelings. Discord ensues.

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In Which the Author Stops Caring Half Way Through

The morning sun shined through the stained-glass windows, projecting images of Discord, Nightmare Moon, and the Elements of Harmony across her throne room. Princess Celestia stood around a non-descript table along with her sister and the royal couple of Cadance and Shining Armor. She sipped from her cup of tea, awaiting Discord’s arrival.

“Why haven’t we started yet? Everypony’s arrived... Was I supposed to start the conversation?” Luna showed clear confusion upon her face, along with a trace of impatience. Celestia felt bemused. Did Luna not realized Discord was absent? Perhaps she had forgotten to tell her that he was coming. It would be just like her to forget to keep Luna informed on her decisions.

“Ugh, why are we all standing? I just got a hooficure this afternoon, and this isn’t doing me any favours, you know!” With a snap of his fingers, everypony and draconequus was seated upon a throne around the table, which now held a lamp shaped as Discord as its centerpiece. Celestia didn’t speak for a moment, considering the lamp.

How long had Discord been standing there?

“Unless I’m behind on my schedule, I don’t believe this afternoon has come to pass yet.” She cleared her throat. “I believe the discussion of this subject has been long overdue. However, we had to postpone it through our preparations of Twilight for Alicornhood. That time has long since passed now, and we must consider new defense tactics for Equestria against the unforeseen changelings, which took this city of Canterlot despite raised securities, as well as the presence of all existing Alicorns, and the Elements of Harmony. “

“So why am I here? I think you realize I’m not the one for preventive planning, Celestia. I like to roll with the punches.” Discord threw a dice in the air, and promptly punched it. It flew off into a window of Twilight, shattering it. Discord winced, and quickly fixed it.

“For the record, I was aiming for Spike.” Celestia ignored his shenanigans, considering what she had heard from Twilight’s friend, Fluttershy. Supposedly, Discord had been remorseful about his inadequacy in dealing with Tirek, and wanted to prove himself able to thoroughly defend Equestria. Fluttershy had written a letter to her, with the proposal of second chances.

“That is true, Discord. But I think you would like to make amends for past mistakes, and I thought perhaps your intellect and powerful chaos magic could give us a unique perspective of this situation. However, you have proven me wrong time and time again, so maybe you aren’t cut out for this purpose.” Discord seemed surprised at her words for a moment, but changed to indifference at the cross of his arms.

“I’ll have you know I’m more than capable of dealing with a few bugs, Celestia.” He snapped his fingers. Celestia waited, along with the others, for something to happen, but Discord merely stood there with a cocky smirk.

“What, pray tell, was that supposed to accomplish?” Luna spoke with a hint of annoyance. Discord chuckled.

“Oh, they’re all dead now.”

“What?” Shining Armor was the first to shake off their surprise.

“What do you mean, ‘what’? Snap, flash, boom, hearts stopped, Equestria saved, Discord grandmaster hero of Equestria!”

“You killed them all?” Cadance managed to utter through a horrified look.

“Well, kill’s a strong word, Mi Amore. But yes.”

“The changelings who invaded Canterlot, were those… all of the changelings?” Celestia had been staring at her tea, contemplating Discord’s actions.

“Oh, of course not. Most of the bugs lived in Equestria, disguised as ponies.” Discord said nonchalantly.

“And how did they come to Equestria? Did they replace ponies and steal love?” Luna questioned. There was a coldness in her eyes, as if she had distanced herself from reality. Celestia sipped her tea.

“Pft, who told you that? Changelings coexisted with ponies since the dawn of time! They don’t usually cause trouble, and they act like any other pony for the rest of their lives! I think those Canterlot changelings went mad from some disease or virus and came over from some Eastern country.”

“How much of Equestria’s population was changelings?” Shining asked, concern clear in his voice.

“About half of them… What’s with all the questions?”

“Can you… Bring them all back to life?” Cadance asked hopefully.

“Er, no…?”

“Surely, you can undo such an action! You stopped their hearts, you can start them again! It hasn’t been that long!”

“Well, stopping their hearts is really a simplification. Even I’m not really certain what I did to them. Hard to get consistency with chaos magic.”

“Why haven’t you ever done that when we fought you before?”

“Huh, never thought of that.” Discord scratched his chin.

“Is that a giant rainbow flying at us?” Shining pointed out a clear window.

“Hey, that’s that thing they shot Tirek with! Wonder what it’s doing here?”

...

“I always hated your lawn ornaments, Celestia.”

“I think we have more important things to worry about.”


“Diamond Tiara? Silver Spoon? Y’all okay?”

“This isn’t funny, you know!”

“Wow, I didn’t know changelings were Alicorns!” Sweetie Belle prodded the insect wing.


“Would it matter if I was a…” Fluttershy stopped, and suddenly clenched her chest in pain. Twilight gasped, rushing up to hold her.

“Fluttershy, what’s wrong? Spike! Get a doctor!” Spike rushed in from the kitchen, looking to Fluttershy, before quickly running out the door in a panic. Twilight looked down to Fluttershy.

That was a changeling in her arms.

Huh.

And now they were surrounded by Rainbow power.

Fluttershy was back.

So then Fluttershy was always a changeling. Okay then.

The rainbow shot out an open window, heading towards Canterlot. Her friends rushed in.

“What happened?”

“I think I died.” Fluttershy muttered.

“So we could have just waited for the villain to kill us all those times, and we would have just been back to normal and auto-win the day? Are you kidding me?

“Hey, maybe I could get Wind Rider to try and kill me…”

Author's Note:

I don't even know. I'm bored and getting a break nect week, dont you worry bout' the promised bonus content for Beginnings ans endings. Did i just use. Bonus content to describe a story .

Guise wat is this

Comments ( 8 )

I liked all the nods at the other changeling stories. :fluttershyouch: Really random and entertaining to read, but a little confusing around the edges. :applejackconfused:

6521991 Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. I mostly wrote it as a joke, though. :rainbowlaugh:

This was hilarious :rainbowlaugh:

I lol'd ... a lot.

“For the record, I was aiming for Spike.”

I lol'd even more. Thanks for making my evening that little bit funnier :)

6524297 You're welcome, and that you for reading!

What? What? What?:rainbowhuh::derpyderp2:

Huh? [Mind Crashing due to incomprehension of story:pinkiecrazy:]

6525205 pone.exe is not responding.

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