WHAT TIME IS IT!? FACE-SHOOTING O'CLOCK!
"Thanks for helping me practice my archery skills, BBBFF, it's really nice to just hang out with you again," Twilight smiled at Shining.
The two siblings stood at the edge of the Everfree Forest, far from town and any other living creatures. Nearby were two bows and quivers full of arrows. One of them bore Shining's cutie mark, the other merely a spare. It was a clear Saturday morning, and Twilight had scheduled this day to be spent with her brother. Ever since she had seen The Hunger Games back in the mirror world, she had the strangest inkling to practice archery.
Shining smiled back and gave her a light, playful noogie. "It's nothing, Twily. I'm sorry I couldn't do this any earlier, but running a kingdom is hard work,"
He levitated his bow and quiver and glanced at the trees. "What made you want to learn archery, anyway?"
"Oh, I just thought that it would be an interesting skill to have," Twilight lied, a small blush appearing on her face.
"That's great, Twily," Shining put his hoof around his sister. "I'm sure you'll be a great shot in no time!"
"DID SOMEBODY SAY SHOT!?"
The voice came from inside the Forest and caused both of them to jump. It was a shout, as if the person was distressed.
"Please tell me you heard that," Twilight broke the following silence.
"Is somepony there? We're practicing archery."
"ARCHERY!? THAT'S GREAT, WAIT UP!"
The bushes in front of them rustled, and out stepped what Twilight immediately recognized as a human, except he was wearing a strange mask that covered his face and emitted a sinister red light from his eyes. He sported a large, spiky mohawk that gave him an even more intimidating appearance. He was shirtless, showing off his bulk, and the only clothes he wore besides his mask were a pair of tan pants and boots.
Twilight immediately did not trust this man. "What do you want?"
"IT'S QUITE SIMPLE, REALLY! IT WILL ONLY TAKE A FEW SECONDS!"
He was still shouting at a volume rivaling that of the Royal Canterlot voice, causing Twilight to wince a little.
"Can you be a little less loud?" Shining asked the strange man, a hint of aggression in his voice.
"IF YOU DO WHAT I ASK, I WILL NEVER SPEAK AGAIN! I PROMISE!"
"Then what is it?" Shining questioned, backing up ever so slightly.
"I WANT YOU TO SHOOT ME IN THE FACE!"
There was a moment of silence as the two ponies tried to process the strange request. Meanwhile, the man danced around, pointing to his mask. He wasn't coming any closer, but his spastic movements were making both Twilight and Shining uncomfortable.
"Did you just say you wanted us to shoot you in the face?"
"WOW, YOU'RE SLOW! YES, SHOOT ME IN THE FACE! NOT THE KNEE, NOT THE CHEST, NOT THE ELBOW! IN THE FACE!" He once again gestured with both fingers to his mask, only this time they were in the shape of guns. "I WON'T SHUT UP UNTIL YOU SHOOT ME IN THE FACE!"
"Sir, are you on drugs?" Shining asked, getting more weirded out by the second.
"NO, I'VE BEEN CLEAN FOR YEARS, NOW SHOOT ME IN THE GODDAMN FACE! WHAT TIME IS IT? FACE SHOOTING O'CLOCK!!!"
"Sir, we're not shooting you in the face."
"WHY THE HELL NOT!? YOU TWO AREN'T VERY NICE! ALL I WANT IS TO BE SHOT IN THE FACE! HEY DO YOU WANT TO HEAR A JOKE!? KNOCK KNOCK! WHO'S THERE!? SHOOT ME IN THE FACE! END OF JOKE! WHY HAVEN'T YOU SHOT ME YET!?"
"Twilight?" Shining quietly whispered.
"Yeah?"
"This is weird."
"He's nuts."
"NUTS!? NO, SMALL COLORFUL HORSE, YOU'RE NUTS FOR NOT SHOOTING ME IN THE FACE YET!"
That was when Twilight noticed that there was fresh blood on the psycho's mask, which further unnerved her.
"Shiny?"
"Yeah?"
"Maybe we should shoot him in the face."
Shining turned to her and gave her a face that was a mixture of genuine confusion and stubborn denial. "Twilight, are you crazy!?"
"YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO YOUR FRIEND AND SHOOT ME IN THE FACE! I'M GONNA SING A SONG, SHOOT ME IN THE FACE AT THE END! DA DA DA DA DA, BONG!"
"Sir, please calm down!" Shining continued to reason with the suicidally crazy man.
"I'LL CALM DOWN WHEN YOU SHOOT ME IN THE FACE, WHICH I NOTICED YOU HAVEN'T YET! CURIOUS AS TO WHY!"
His voice then turned quiet, calm, and rational. "Maybe you're weighing the moral pros and cons, but let me assure you- OH GOD SHOOT ME IN THE FACE! I WANTED A BULLET, BUT AN ARROW WILL DO JUST FINE! JUST DO IT AND I'LL LEAVE YOU ALONE FOREVER! DON'T YOU WANT TO SHOOT A POOR MAN DOWN ON HIS LUCK IN THE FACE!?"
Twilight couldn't take it anymore and used her magic to grab her bow and quiver. It was time to end this madness.
"Twilight, you aren't actually gonna-"
"Shoot him in the face? Yeah, I am."
The madman jumped up and down like an excited little child. "YES, PURPLE HORSE, YES! DO IT! PUT AN ARROW IN MY BRAIN!"
Twilight hesitatingly drew her bow back and loaded the arrow.
"Are you sure you want this?" Shining asked one more time to the crazy man.
"ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED!? I'VE BEEN STANDING HERE FOR THE PAST MINUTE AND A HALF TRYING TO GET YOU TO SHOOT ME IN THE FACE! OF COURSE I WANT THIS! NOW GET ON WITH IT!"
Twilight shot, but her archery skills were lackluster, and the arrow went into the madman's shoulder. However, the man didn't even flinch.
"THAT'S NOT MY FACE, PURPLE HORSE! TRY AGAIN!"
Shining took the bow from Twilight. "Here Twily, I'll do it."
Shining glanced one more time at the man, then drew back with an arrow.
"Goodbye, weird suicidal freak," he nodded.
"GET ON WITH IT!" The psycho practically begged.
The arrow flew through the air and struck the man right between the eyes, piercing his mask and skull. He instantly collapsed into the bushes behind him, and did not speak anymore. Twilight and Shining walked over to his body.
"THANK YOU!" Exclaimed the man gratefully, even though he should have already been dead. It didn't matter though, because he died right after saying that.
For the longest time, the two siblings stared at each other, then at the dead man, then at the wound. His eyes still glowed, but it was clear that this man would never bother anypony else.
"You know what?" Twilight finally spoke. "I don't think I want to learn archery anymore."
Shining nodded, and levitated the body where it could not be seen. "I don't blame you, that was the weirdest experience of my life. How about we just grab some hayburgers, instead?"
Twilight smirked. "You read my mind."
The two of them grabbed their arrows and quivers, though Shining did not bother to remove the arrow from the dead man.
"Oh, and by the way," Shining stopped Twilight mid-stride. "Let's never speak about this to anypony else."
Twilight smiled with relief. "Agreed."
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Professor Donger · 1k words · 444 30 · 6.8k views
- UglyTurnip · 96k words · 168 19 · 3.7k views
- Vertigo22 · 2.5k words · 73 1 · 2.5k views
- bronypanda · 1.8k words · 43 14 · 2.5k views
- Brony_Fife · 8.9k words · 105 1 · 2.5k views
- Deivatan · 11k words · 32 2 · 1.4k views
- CrystalFlowerProductions · 1.1k words · 25 5 · 1.2k views
- KingdomBrony16 · 269k words · 28k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.169 seconds
Total duration
1,027 users online
1,459,569 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Beautiful work of art right here
IT'S FACE SHOOTING O CLOCK!!!!!!!
I don't suppose this has anything to do with the episode that Bisnap and Rawrquaza put up today, does it?
6512919 No, this was actually written last night after I rediscovered this quest. I just didn't bother to publish it until today.
This my friend is a masterpiece
6512956 Damn you beat me to it!
Laughing out loud worthy! Favorite!
6513273 Thanks!
6513275 No problem!
Playing as the mecromancer with 500+ anarchy, and this quest becomes very difficult
This guy gets it
And that is how Shooty Mcface was shot in the face. Are there any questions children?
6512956 Lol I had forgotten about that scene.
6513408 Mechromancer problems... I can one-shot an enemy three levels over me with a shotgun two under, but I can't shoot a guy who's standing still in the face from point blank.
SHOOT ME IN THE FACE!!! NOT THE ARM, LEG, OR CHEST, THE FACE!!!
6515075 THE FACE!!!! *I take out my colt revolver looking at him* Sorry... But I don't waste particular bullets... shooting people in the face that want to be shot... if you didn't want to be shot in the face... it would be different.
6515086 SHOOT ME IN THE FACE!!!! LET ME TELL YOU A JOKE!!! KNOCK KNOCK!!! WHO'S THERE? SHOOT ME IN THE FACE!!! END OF JOKE!!!
Don't worry Twilight, everyone wants to learn archery after watching the Hunger Games! In a similar fashion, I want to play Borderlands after reading this story.
6515093 Let me tell you a story about a girl who didn't shoot you a guy in the face. a guy asked the girl to shoot him in the face, she said know and laughed somewhat as the guy told her a bad joke. the girl then told the guy a story about a guy who wanted a girl to shoot him in the face. the end
6515163 Goes away to get some other person to shoot me in the face.
6515327 *goes on a roof top and takes out sniper and headshots you* OOOHHH IM THE EQUESTRIANSNIPER!!
6515336 THANK YOU!!!
6515345 No prob w.w
*Writes an 80K fanfic over a year-80 likes*
*Writes a 1K oneshot in an hour-70 likes*
6516789 Hey, I'll take it.
God damned beautiful masterpiece, this is.
After checking the word count, I request that you add three more words to this story.
6516856 Oh, I like the way you think.
6516888 I too, agree with this idea.
BRILLIANT!!!
I was so confused when I met that guy in the game. But then I remembered what I was playing...
6517373 Face McShooty was even more psycho than your average psycho!
Whatever drugs he was on, I need to get some.
Here's the mission from the game;
6516789
6516792
Comedy over quantity!
Oh yeah, 100th upvote right here.
And a wonderfully amusing story!
Ah, the Borderlands 2 Memories, I must play on the Handsome collection again sometime also I WILL GIVE YOU THUMBS UP PROVIDED THAT THUMB SHOOTS ME IN THE FACE! NOT THE ARMS, NOT THE ELBOWS, IN. THE. FACE!
I love this fic. I want to have sex with it.
Ah yes. I was just playing this with a friend and he asked me why that guy wanted to be shot in the face. then I asked him why he was asking me this AFTER we shot him in the face at the same time.
6512934 I've been waiting for this, and I couldn't be happier it's arrived.
THAT WAS A AWESOME STORY!! BUT YOU KNOW WHAT IS MORE AWESOME? YOU, SHOOTING ME IN THE FACE. DO IT, PAL, SHOOT ME IN THE FACE. IF YOU SHOOT ME YOU WILL GAIN MORE LIKES, YOU WILL BECOME THE BEST FUCKING WRITER IN THIS SITE, YOU BECOME THE MASTER OF THIS SITE, NOW SHOOT ME IN THE FACE. WHAT YOU WAITING FOR, SHOOT ME IN THE FACE, SHOOT ME IN THE FACE, SHOOT ME IN THE FACE, SHOOT ME IN THE FACE? YEAH, SHOOT ME IN THE FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...
(JonTron quote)
Oh my GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!
6519264
You realize that you can post videos in your comments, right?
6518626 Bang.
6518290 I guess you could call it-
*puts on sunglasses*
A fingerbang.
I'm so sorry that was terrible.
6520148 I had a lol (Proceeds off screen to imitate the Borderlands 2 cover case...literally)
Face McShooty is my spirit animal.
6521198 I wish you luck on your journey to face-shooting enlightenment.
6521203
He just really speaks to my soul, you know?
Ah yes, this quest. I was all too happy to oblige.