59w, 3dAdventures - Alternate Universe
"Do you like parties?"
Judas had been in a state of half awareness throughout the whole day. One half of her mind was focused on seeking wanted posters and removing them, so that she and her friends wouldn’t be identified as assassins. That was easy for her. With her speed and accuracy attained from a lifetime of training, she could swipe a poster and nopony would do so much as a double take.
The other half was still comprehending that Cerberus was alive, after she saw what she was certain would be the death of him. Glass, rain, and a several hundred foot drop. If it were anypony but her brother, they probably wouldn’t have survived.
Alive and well... the latter was questionable. What if he wasn’t well? Bruised, broken, on the verge of death? What if the guards had found him already? The orange hick’s ramblings said so much, yet so little. What if-
Judas wasn’t prepared for another pegasus to cross her path. Nor was she prepared for the sudden jolt from getting slammed into by said pegasus. Nor was she prepared for the sharp aches from hitting solid ground at mach speed. Pegasi can survive that sort of thing under the right circumstances, but it still hurts like nopony’s business.
When Judas came to, she thought she was having a dream because all she saw were rainbows. She then had the ungodly taste of hair in her mouth, which she promptly reacted to by squirming. She found herself rolling out from underneath the weight of what must have been the pegasus that blindsided her. She seemed to have landed in a park on the outskirts of Ponyville.
“Son of a bitch!” said the other pegasus. “Did I hit Derpy again? Someone oughta put a bell on that featherbrain.”
“I don’t know who this Derpy is, but she sounds like an airhead.” Judas helped herself up and offered her hoof to her acquaintance. “You alright?”
“Can’t complain. I’ve taken worse hits from the sound barrier.” Judas got a better look at this pegasus. Turns out that the visions of rainbows and taste of hair were from her mane and tail, which were were coated with the six colors of the rainbow. That made Judas’s pink hair and black highlights seem tame. “Haven’t seen you before. Name’s Rainbow Dash.”
Judas shook hooves with her. “Fitting name. I’m Jud...ith.” Every inch of Judas’ body ached, but not from the crash. No, it was the mere uttering of her real name. She hated it almost as much as she hated hearing Bubblemint talk, but she had to use it, in case her name was known across Ponyville. She could only hope that Bubblemint was doing the same, and Winter Solstice... Luna save them if anyone asked of her name. “You can blame me for the crash, I wasn’t paying attention.”
“Hey, I was going too fast, don’t worry about it.” Wow, Rainbow Dash was pretty agreeable. “So, Judith, where ya from?”
“Canterlot-” Oh, crap. Didn’t want to say that.
“Oh, cool! I have a friend from Canterlot, she’s a unicorn. Come to think of it, isn’t Canterlot like, ninety nine percent unicorns?”
“Eh, it doesn’t matter. Hey! Do you like parties?” Well, who doesn’t? Unfortunately, parties were not on Bubblemint’s patented how-to-lay-low-when-you’re-a-wanted-assassin-and-could-get-the-axe-if-you-get-caught list, and as painful as it was to follow guidelines set by someone like him, Judas liked her head where it was.
“I don’t have time for parties right now, Rainbow Dash.”
“Well, in that case, you should avoid my girlfriend.”
“What’s her deal?”
“Total party pony. Some can make do with saying ‘Hey, welcome to the neighborhood,’ but as far as Pinkie Pie goes, she has to throw a party for everypony that so much as passes through Ponyville.”
“Okay, so I’ll avoid the color pink.”
“Call me a stalker, but what are doing in an old country town like this?” Crap. Judas knew that she couldn’t last a measly four days without avoiding an awkward conversation...
“Oh Rainbow Daaaash!”
Judas’ new friend snapped to attention with red in her blue face. Judas was honestly surprised she didn’t blush rainbows too. “That’s Pinkie Pie.”
This wasn‘t going to end well. “Oh, geez! I’d better fly-”
“No way. She’ll find you."
“I’m sure I can get-”
“Trust me, you can’t escape Pinks. I’ll hide you. Hold on.” Rainbow Dash, well... dashed to the overcast sky and pulled down a small nimbostratus cloud. “Quick, get in here!”
Judas decided it was best not to argue. She flew to the cloud buried herself in its fluffy interior. It was kinda wet, and it made her hair stand on end.
“Oh Rainbow Daaaash! Where are you?”
“U-up here, Pinks!” Rainbow Dash relaxed, or at least tried to look like she was relaxing on the cloud that acted as a hiding place for Judith. “What’s up?”
Pinkie Pie stood underneath the cloud and continued to shout. “So I was leaving Sugarcube Corner to like, do stuff, when I saw this cute little green colt wearing glasses that looked like half moons, and I said hello, and he responded by saying something I didn’t even understand, then he talked normally and it turns out he’s not a foal! He’s just small! His name is Bubblemint Berry. Also, his cutie mark is pi!”
Rainbow Dash laughed in confusion. “Wait, he has you as a cutie mark? Do I have competition?”
“No, silly! Pi as in three point one four!”
“Oh.” Rainbow Dash didn’t care much for numbers, another factor that got her kicked out of flight school.
“Anyway, when he told me he wasn’t from Ponyville, I was like, ‘Le gasp! I have to throw you a party!’ and he said something else I didn’t understand, but he liked the idea of a party,” Rainbow Dash felt the cloud twitch underneath her, “so I asked Applejack if we could have one at the barn tonight! And she said yes! So let’s go decorate!”
“Look, Pinks, I’d love to help, but I’m really swamped. Just get Rarity and Twilight to set the darn thing up. I’ll see ya at the party, kay?” Rainbow Dash had gotten better at coming up with a cover story ever since Pinkie’s last... episode. Lo and behold, she believed her!
“Okie-dokie-lokie! See you there, sweety!” Before she left the park, she made a quick one-eighty and said, “Oh, your purple pegasus friend can come too!”
Heretic could’ve had a better day. While he did enjoy having a philosophical conversation with the half pheonix Hephaestus, the following encounter with the prancing party pony properly known as Pinkimena was bad news. Not only did he have to use his birth name, Bubblemint Berry, here he was trying to keep a low profile and this young mare comes along and invites him to a party. “It would be simultaneously impolite and unfair to refute the offer. I also hypothesize that if we were to be recognized, Judas would assist in our escape and we’d be out of the general area in a matter less than or equal to the measured time of a single heartbeat. So... party time.” Heretic bowed his head and sighed. “To further complicate matters, Cerberus has gone entirely undetected by our eyes despite Ponyville’s small radius. One wonders; in which location may he be hidden?”
The air was cold, the winds were colder, and he was going so fast he felt that his face was going to peel off. Cerberus felt wonderful. He had discovered that he could go unnoticed by pretty much all of Ponyville if he kept to Fluttershy’s house. He had ample room to spread his wings and soar. Flying during the day was unfamiliar to him, but he liked it. At night, he may as well have been flying in a void. When the sun was high, he could see everything beneath him, like a small world. The world that had spit on him and treated him like dirt. That had changed, though. Even if he was unlucky enough to encounter anypony, they treated him like they would any other. Just yesterday, he had met a wall-eyed blond pegasus in mid flight, and she offered Cerberus a muffin. It wasn’t half bad either, but before he could thank her, she was rammed by Rainbow Dash. Ponyville was quickly becoming a home to him.
“Cerberus, I made lunch!” Fluttershy called from the balcony of her house. That was the other great part of life in Ponyville. Fluttershy always greeted Cerberus with a smile, made him food, and was all around fun to talk to. She had really grown on him, even more so than before.
“Oh, ambrosia, Fluttershy! What do you call this dish?”
“It’s a simple rose and cheese omelet... with sapphire shards.”
“You go to such great lengths to satisfy me. I can’t thank you enough.” Cerberus, once again, found himself lost in Fluttershy’s warm gaze. He relaxed his hooves on the table. “So, what do you want to do today?”
Cerberus’ question went unanswered, as there were three sounds at the wooden front door, each one being a knock. Then, the door opened so quickly it slammed against the adjacent wall.
“Guess who?!” The chipper, high pitched sound of Pinkie Pie echoed throughout the house.
Fluttershy switched her happy face with a disappointed one, and spoke with dull surprise. “I guess Pinkie. Who’s getting a party today?”
“Oh, Fluttershy! You can read me like a book!” Pinkie Pie leaped onto the table, knocking over Cerberus’ omelet. She stood on her hind legs without effort, somehow. “For your information, your auntie Pinkie Pie will be hosting not just a party, but a party to end all parties! Figuratively, of course, it would be the worst tragedy if we were to stop partying!”
Fluttershy turned to Cerberus and said, “At the rate she’s going, I wouldn’t mind that.”
Pinkie was too excited to even hear her. “Applejack is letting me use the biggest barn on Sweet Apple Acres for this one! There’s gonna be a disco ball and black lights, and DJ P0N3 will be there!”
Now Fluttershy was interested. “Are you serious? How did you get her?”
“She’s friends with my sister Octavia. All I had to do was ask. Sooooooo... you wanna come?”
Cerberus and Fluttershy kept exchanging glances, waiting for the other to answer. Cerberus would have loved to go, but he still wasn’t comfortable setting hoof in Applejack territory, even if her hadn’t seen Applejack since her onslaught of insults. Fluttershy was a different story. She was perfectly content doing whatever Cerberus wanted to do. The answer?
Cerberus said, “I’d rather not. I want to spend the evening with Fluttershy.” Fluttershy did her usual routine of squeaking and getting red in the face.
Pinkie took this news well. “Alrighty then! This party is still going to be blowing up! Still, I would have liked to introduce you to the egghead.”
Cerberus wasn’t paying attention, too busy trying to salvage his omelet. Unfortunately, he was forced to sit and watch as Pinkie leaped off the table and squashed what was left of it.
The streets of Ponyville were almost completely empty by the time the sun went down. “Where the heck is everypony?” asked Rainbow Dash as she vegged on the nimbostratus she had pulled down earlier, next to her new friend that she knew as Judith. Rainbow Dash had rolled over and looked down at the town to see that it had become a total ghost town, worse than when Zecora was considered a threat.
Judas stretched her wings and legs. “Didn’t your girlfriend say she was throwing a party at the barn?”
“Yeah, but I didn’t think there’d be this big of a turnout. Pinks has really outdone herself this time.”
“Wait, do you hear that?”
Judas covered Rainbow Dash’s mouth with her right hoof so she could hear the faint wub wub wub in the distance...