I love this picture.

>>671914671914

Thank you, my roommate drew it, and I really want to put it on a t-shirt.

Too quiet! I wanna see where you are going with this!

>>671972671972

I'm sorry if it was too slow, but I will at least say I plan on the next chapter revealing Pinkie Pie's fate, but mostly being about Rainbow Dash. Expect each of the Mane Six to have their own chapter. Not sure if anyone else will be included though.

This is really good.  I mean REALLY GOOD.  I really hope that you're planning to continue this.  

>>672023672023

Write on! I love all of the ponies anyway... I can't pick a favorite Take your time.

>>672048672048

Absolutely! I'm just trying to figure out how to write an original conclusion for each character that doesn't result in me getting hate mail. I don't want cheesy happy endings for all, but I'm definitely not going to give anybody a sad ending just to upset their fans.

>>672082672082

Ah, when writing I've always had troubles with conclusions too.  But you shouldn't design your endings simply to appease fans.  If you want the story to end in a way that makes sense, but upsets a few people, I say go for it.  All that matters is that you've written something that you can be proud of.  And so far, you should be very proud.  

>>672112672112

Thanks!

I'm sure what I have planned for Pinkie will get a laugh from people, but I think the next chapter is going to have a lot of sad/tragic in it.

>>672135672135

Don't worry about it.  Your description seemed to cover that there would bee some sadness in this, so anyone here should know what they're getting into.

SURPRISE! You think she'd expect it with Pinkie being Pinkie and all. Silly adorkable Twi.

Spike is still the man, and its sad that Rarity still doesn't see it.

I laughed pretty hard when i read the letter Celestia had a interesting way of saying what she wanted.

>>672169672169

Yeah I know it's kind of an obvious "to be continued" lol

I like to think that in 15 years Twilight has forgotten what to expect.

And who said Rarity doesn't know? All I said was the love was unrequited. Her story will come....

>>672189672189 Well I meant more that it was unrequited, than she didn't notice.

*applause*

I'm really liking this story. It'll be interesting to see what happens next. Moar, please!

Oh dear. How could Twilight forget about Pinkie's (un)predictable habits?

First of all, imma give you a thumbs up because your cover photo is so awesome. Second of all, I'll track to read later. Sounds interesting.

>>672456672456

Thanks. I've been wanting to use that ever since my friend drew it.

...It astounds me that this isn't in the featured box yet.  

Great work!

>>685857685857

That means a lot. I don't think updates get attention though. Gonna give the next chapter some time.

Image: http://www.google.com/imgres?um=1&hl=en&client=firefox-a&sa=N&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&biw=2144&bih=1091&tbm=isch&tbnid=58baVFJmCotkfM:&imgrefurl=http://www.facebook.com/pages/knocks-on-door-Fish-Hello-Patrick-I-LOVE-YOU-Fish-slams-door/368413146306&docid=Mhkb_eFO7VQk_M&imgurl=http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/71177_368413146306_2451749_n.jpg&w=200&h=185&ei=dMrKT_OhJOOi2wW42-HZCw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=230&vpy=225&dur=2852&hovh=148&hovw=160&tx=63&ty=81&sig=116105637034521283737&page=1&tbnh=148&tbnw=160&start=0&ndsp=49&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0,i:101

So good! Moar Please!

You have to have some hard hits for updates to get attention. Mayor Pinkie both thrills and scares me. Hmm clearly you were making a point by not having Rarity and Twilight meet I'm interested to see how that'll play out. Angel has kids... the spawn of all evil had his own spawn... well good for him, bad for Equestria.

>>687591687591

Good. Mayor Pinkie is a scarier concept than President Palin.

I wasn't sure where I was going with the Angel thing. I needed something Fluttershy related without revealing too many details. She'll have her own chapter soon.

Rarity...well mum's definitely the word on that one...

in a word, wow.

Will track this out of curiosity. It was well written, but chapter 1 wasn't enough to bring much attention to it. But still, chapter 2 was very good. I just have a bit of trouble because, sometimes, you use words that aren't supposed to be there. Nothing too glaring, though.

>>690098690098

Please anything you can point out is appreciated. I don't have anyone I can go to for editing, and more often than not I'm editing others instead of writin myself. I was hoping someone would find some sort of inconsistency that I overlooked.

this is amazing i never thought such a story could be so interresting

WHY DOTH THIS NOT FEATURED!

>>697538697538

Because it needs a LOT of work lol. I've begun to notice some things beyond what others have pointed out. After I finish chapter 3 I'm going to take some time to edit things. Mostly thing involving Scootaloo and Celestia that I think may have fell short.

Also, it's FIMFiction. Not clop = not featured

Pinkie's the mayor! Crazy!

Rainbow Dash is a famous writer! Astounding!

Mystery surrounds both Fluttershy and Rarity! Suspense!

Applejack is... er...

- Still bucking apples.

Um...

- Typecast before mah time. Sigh!

>>710761710761

LOL!

Woooooooooooooooaaaaah~ reading a sad romance.

earth? what is this earth that spike speaks of?

>>716174716174

Lol. Thank you. I keep missing these things. I read over and over making sure I say hooves instead of hands and miss crap like that

"Clopping grounds".  Oh Molestia, you're still that sex addicted mare we all know and love.

THIS. IS. EPIC. the first person to make a decent romance with Big MAc and FLuttershy with the exception of "He was afraid he’d done something terrible, but Applejack cleared it up and told him that I was there the whole time making sure he got better" seriously? did that one sentence have to be there to  ruin the story? otherwise, i tip my hat to you sir. have a

  The last sentence made me cry!!! But it's a good, original fic. Props to you, my friend.

>>716236716236

Lol sorry for that. Just thought that Applejack would play a joke on them since it was her fault in the first place. Fluttershy was passed out at the time so all she knows is what Applejack told her

Okay, I'm liking this so far, but...there was correspondence between Twilight and Spike, right? You think he would have mentioned this sort of thing!

"So, Rarity's doing great. Also, Pinkie is the new mayor, Rainbow Dash screwed up her wings saving Scootaloo from a dragon, and Fluttershy is pregnant with Big Macintosh. Just thought you should know."

It's a good story, certainly, showing a pony going back to a world she hasn't been a part of for a long time, but she shouldn't be totally oblivious to...everything, pretty much!

Words cannot even begin to describe the level of awesomeness bound within this chapter.  <.>

Initial reaction to this chapter:

Image: http://scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2579-132797247270.jpg

But I'm left wondering: How in the hay has happened to Rarity? For some reason I feel like it's something "bad", seeing as she hasn't appeared yet and there's been no mention of her since the party.

-Glassed

>>716365716365

Glad you noticed that. I wasn't sure when I wrote chapter 1 if I was seriously going to keep on, nor did I know what storylines I would write the Mane Six into. I'm taking a break before chapter 4 to change some details with Spike and Scootaloo. Also I want to make it clearer how much of Twilight's time has been spent out of Equestria during the last several years, and how her headstrong attitude made her oblivious to everything but her work.

>>716394716394

Thanks, and mum's the word on Rarity. She has her part to play in all this. I wrote a short cameo for her while Twilight and Fluttershy went shopping, but cut it out, as I felt it drew away from the Fluttershy narrative.

FLUTTERMAC, BURN IT WITH FIRE! Just kidding, its not really a ship I support, but I like how you had them get together, it felt natural. Pinkie terrifies me on some levels... and I'm not afraid of anything, so that's saying something.

Expected a chapter on A.J. but I got a Fluttershy one instead, and it was fantastic, keep it up.

Also I see Applebloom picked up darling some where, not sure if I should blame Sweetie or Rarity for that.

>>716762716762

Title is misleading yeah, but after a few attempts it was the best fit I had.

Yeah I know Apple Bloom picked up a bit of her friends talking, but if I had her say sugarcube or something, people would confuse her with her sister. 'darlin' was the southern dialect I found to be the best fit.

All ships are bound to get some hate for sure, but when it comes to my first attempt at a ship, I thought of who I imagine as a genuine couple, and the shyest ponies in town seemed good, and I was more interested in making Fluttershy a mother than a romantic. I wanted to portray the family dynamic instead of the romance.

Pinkie should scare the crap out of you. KILL IT WITH STREAMERS!

>>717846717846 I don't really think Big Mac is shy, he strikes me more as just being very good at getting his point across without having to say much.

>>717918717918

Valid. I made a poor word choice there. I just couldn't imagine any other pony creating a genuine understanding for Mac like Shy. Applejack is of course the exception, but I'll save that for the clopfic writers. I may not have a ton of experience or skill, but I'll keep my dignity.

>>718849718849 Oh, that's a low blow. Then again I don't write incest at least...

I honestly suspect the CMC may have scored the winning point for Mac. No one really has any interaction with Mac cannonly, beside A.J. and apparently Cherilee.

>>718904718904

Again I apologize. I forget that when I say clopfic writers I'm talking about stuff that goes beyond what is acceptable. People here can write about whatever they want and that's great, but I probably won't read your work if I see anything clop with incest, the CMC, or brony-on-pony action.

You got a point about the CMC with Mac, but maybe that's because the older ponies know that talking to Mac is like talking to a brick wall? The CMC are the epitome of innocence (despite their occasional evil)

>>718943718943 I was just yanking your chain I'm cruel that way. Yea that's not really my style anyways; I can't see any circumstances where I'd write it either.

"Occasional", yea lets go with that. One day there gonna end up blowing something up on accident... and it will be awesome!

...So Pinkie made a party supplies megacorporation as a direct result of her not understanding what a political party is.

Must have been a Tuesday.

WTF?

my mind is dead but i shall like and favoorite this anyway!

and pinkie made a party out of not understanding parties? GAH! SCREW LOGIC ITS PINKIE PIE!

cool

No, not a another FlutterxMac pairing!  Those two have absolutely nothing to talk about because they very rarely talk!  I was looking forward to a TwixMac pairing.  My hopes and dreams have been shattered.

Welcome to the featured box. Enjoy your stay there.

>>759148759148

OMG OMG OMG OMG

>>759063759063

But they're so capable of cutesy traditional romance I just really like Big Mac and wanted to find a place for him in the story somewhere

I've seen a few variations of the "time has passed" concept through the eyes of several characters, but I think this one is the most potent and well done overall. In 4 chapters I think I noticed 2 spelling mistakes, so from an editorial standpoint its also very good. My biggest drawback is, as always, authors seem to love to screw Rainbow Dash out of a happy life.Either way, its a great story and I can't wait to read more, please update soon. (The Rarity suspense is killing me)

Oh my god... This made me so sad, it's not even fair. Womanly tears were shed.

Great story though!

>>759354759354

I think Rainbow Dash's ending still turned out sort of happy. Despite what's happened to her, she's still positive and looks towards the future.

OMG Where are my spelling mistakes? I always miss something and I hate myself when I make grammatical errors.

And yes, I'll admit it doesn't start as the most original concept, but this is my first foray into fan fiction or narrative of any sort. I've been mapping some more original one shots for the future.

>>759374759374

Means a lot to get feedback from authors with a lot more attention than myself. Makes me feel like I did something right.

I have no idea what your setting Rarity up for but with all the suspense and cameos it better be awesome.

Also Pinkie terrifies me. And that is saying a lot.

>>759435759435

Well take solace in knowing I can't stall Rarity's plot for much longer, I just wonder if anyone will figure it out...

Btw, congrats on all the attention from the Weekend Maid story

>>759226759226 Traditional romance pffh. My way is more fun.

>>759655759655 I suspect shes bitter that everyone else seems to be moving forward with their lives while shes stuck in place. Why won't you just let her love Spike and be happy I digress.

Thank you! Spike and His Six Lovely Ladies actually got a bit more attention when it was posted but it does have a much broader audience. I still can't believe I used a pun in a title I shall forever be shamed

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_cry.png

>>759674759674

Not.

Even.

Close.

Too bad you have to sit through Applejack before you find out.

And yeah that got a lot more attention. It's too bad Eternal will never get the views/attention it deserves because of not being labeled mature lol. Silly clopfic readers.... will they ever find love for clean fic?

>>759778759778 Actually every time I release a new fic the views, favs, and ratings go up across the board on all of um. In a ironic twist the clop fics get Eternal more attention.

Also EVIL!

>>760049760049

I feed on evil

And yeah good point writing a clop is a good way to bring attention to your non clop. I was considering after a few stories I have planned to do one as a joke. I'm not sure how many people would want to read me writing clop about Granny Smith though...

>>759674759674>>759778759778 I disagree...I myself really despise Sike/Rarity with a complete and total passion. I'm 100% for Spike/Twilight...maybe you can make him start to fall in love with her as she does not seem to know of it, a new change of pace, ya know? On another note.....GOOOO FLUTTERSHY/BIG MAC!!!!!!! Buck yeah, I'm so happy you have doen that pair, I'm a big fan of them together. Yeah, for some reason I'm not suprised about Pinkie, hay I would not be suprise if she managed to relase Discord with her partying..but yu got to love her....as for Rarity, I love everything about her save for her being paired with Spike and it's seriously killing me to find out what has happened with her. Poor Rainbow Dash, damn she's got a really bucked up part of the deal...glad for A.J though, even though I have not seen much of her...hoping to see another of the Mane six soon....I'll review and read every chapter from here on out.

Also as a side note...I'm really hoping to see Derpy and the rest of CMC. And yes, I'm one who likes to read romance for being love, but I'm into clop as well.

>>760293760293 I'm just gonna assume that was a horrible horrible joke... I mean who wouldn't want to read that... beside everybody.

I don't think its so much the fact its clop as new readers (notably clop gets a lot of attention but you rarely see it in the featured box unless its a big name clop writer like sleepless or TAW) take an interest in my other works because they liked a new story. I'll have some none clop material coming up here eventually and I'm sure I'll see numbers rise across the board there to. Notably I'm finishing at least one of these fics before I jump into more. Writing four fics at a time not easy!

>>760313760313 So barking up the wrong tree. All of my clop is romantic anyways.

I'm pretty sure Ponlver has the end game in mind already. It is the key to writing after all.

>>760346760346 You now know that for a fact Agreed, I love romance...and I'm a guy (no homo) but anyway, you are correct, we shall let the author deciced on the final outcome of who Spike is with...*cough* Twilight *cough* ok, that was cruel, I'm sorry...I always wanted to do that though. But your right...so until fate tells us otherwise...Brohoof?

>>760293760293 Hahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahhah....that's like Trixie falling for a pinecone, Ahhhh...I HAVE to read that! And that story is a great read btw.

>>760393760393 /Brohoof

>>760417760417 Let the beauty of this story continue then before we betray one another over our favorite pairings and go back to being enemies, although I truly hope we stay allies and come to respect eachother for loving MLP at the very least.

>>760313760313

I appreciate the thoughts, but Rarity's plot is already decided. I know I'm trying to make it suspenseful, but I hope it's worth the payoff. When I decided to continue writing this past chapter one, the only characters I had plots decided for were Dash and Rarity, the rest has come with time. Spike will play his part in Rarity's chapter. You can't have a proper Rarity plot without Spike showing up somewhere.

We've already got two of the CMC, so it'd be foolish of me to not throw in Sweetie Belle, so yeah, she'll be there. Derpy...not likely. I'm concentrating on canon characters for this story, and might work on background character fic in the future.

Glad you liked the FM pairing. I have a weakness for that I must admit.

Be nice to path_of_cloud. He's a far better writer than me.

>>760322760322

I dunno about the "not seeing clop in the featured box" thing. Scootaloo's big meal was up there for nearly a week.

Four fics at a time? You my friend are a glutton for punishment. I've been spending all my free time outside of work working on just this one. I've been having ideas float around for other stories, and as much as I want to work on them, I worry that the quality of LoF will diminish if I don't give it my full attention.

As for Granny Smith, I was half joking. If I keep meeting bronies who tell me to write clop, that's what will happen. Something horrible and wrong, and yet still there's going to be one sick perv out there reading it while he cuddles his custom Lyra plush. If I'm going to ruin my integrity, I'm going ALL THE WAY!

Pinkie? A genius politician? I think I need to lie down for a second...

And the situation with Rarity keeps on getting more and more interesting. I can't wait to hear what happened.

-Glassed

>>761705761705 Well I suppose it's rare. Certain ship clops seem a little more likely to get up their Appledash for instant is extremely popular. See for me writing other fics has a subconscious effect of ironing out the rest while I'm writing the others, but yea keeping up with four not easy. Pft, better writer talk about denial your grammar kicks mine's ass, on top of that you have some pretty amazing ideas of your own mate. And yes the infamous doll, it makes me lol.

>>762079762079

What can I say? I'm my own worst critic.

Grammar does play a big part you're right. That's why I've been so nervous about writing this. I'm used to writing poetry and prose, where grammar is more or less optional and at times experimental. I wrote my fair share of research and term papers in college, but dialogue is foreign to me. If you're that worried about grammar I'm happy to give notes, but I'm no English major. I'm sure it's better than reading my friend's 50 page term papers for grammatical issues.

And yea, the pairing will greatly determine success. Anyone can get to the top with a half decent Twilestia or Flutterdash, but it would take a truly remarkable writer to gain attention for let's say... Rainbow Sparkle (just read Twilight's List lol).

>>762180762180 Yea, I'm just a narcissistic bastard

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/discord.png

Yea I haven't had to do any real writing in about a year until I published Eternal so my grammar was quite dusty. Now that I'm writing so much it's getting back to where it used to be though (Ven's proofreading keeps getting easier). Your a good friend, reading 50 pages of term paper, I'd of just looked at um and laughed.

Actually recently Rainbow Sparkle is becoming pretty big. A number of tumblr artist have taken a personal interest in it so it's starting to really rise in popularity. They have nice foil personalities that makes a relationship feasible and not boring so I can understand why.

>>762271762271

At least you have a proofreader lol

I'm afraid I'm going to put out some sort of grammatical abortion every time I put up a new chapter.

>>762309762309 You know there's a Looking for Editors group they do proofreaders to you might be able to find someone through there. That's how I found Ven.

I d'awwed SSOOOOOO much at Twi's final line... (and that's saying something)

>>764449764449

Means a lot to get positive feedback from someone who does editing. Makes me know I did something right. The d'aww/b'awww factor should only be going up at this point.

Enough with the shipping debate!!! It's Fluttermac and it's going to stay that way. Unless something unexpected happens, It's either a Sparity fic, or just no romance for either character.

>>762271762271 I believe it's known as TwiDash. Personally, I don't care much for shipfics.

>>770107770107 Good as anything I suppose.

>>770102770102

As much as Path_of_Cloud is going to be upset to hear this, it is NOT a Sparity fic. I'm leaking no details on Rarity, but I can assure that won't happen, although Spike will play a part in her upcoming chapter. You guys shouldn't have to wait too long, I finished chapter 5 last night and I'm just going over it a couple times before I post it tomorrow. Writing Applejack dialogue nearly broke my spellchecker... It's the longest chapter yet though, so I hope you guys can settle in and not kill me over the cliffhangers.

Lol I'm not big on shipping debates. I think what goes on in this story is more mild romance than shipping. Shipfics tend to go into more detail and romance, whereas I was more using FlutterMac as a plot device and sure they're together and have a kid, but I think I went pretty tame for a ship and focused more on their family dynamic. You'll see them more in Applejack's chapter tomorrow.

>>772360772360 HA! I....mean.....ummm.....good game? I'm sorry, what was the question, I'm kidding.....Because Applejack is the SHIT!!!!

>>775300775300

You're an oddball, my friend.....

And yes Applejack is 'teh shizzle', just don't hate me when her story gets all bawwww

>>775352775352 Of that you have no idea....uummmmm....okkkk.....I did not say it with slang but alright then, moving on. WHAT!!!! WHY!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>775885775885

Because I'm a heartless bastard

I mean, just because... Well you'll see when I'm done proofreading it again. Should be up tomorrow around noon. Gotta work on the next chapter in the meantime. I have a feeling when this one goes up I'm going to be pushing the limits on cliffhangers.

>>776237776237 Ya know....I have to agree with you on that madam....every nice and yes, I got as feeling that you will

>>671931671931 I'd buy it

Interesting...Applejack had a lover.....very interesting.

I'm starting to fear the next chapter. My mind is playing out all the details and putting them into places different ways. I'll be the first to admit I don't like 96% of um. I'm gonna hope that's me over thinking and the 4% are closer to the truth of the matter. Applejacks unnamed loved, the tone in Applejack's voice when she found out Twi was being avoided, and whatever Fluttersh was trying to say about Sweetie... it's all very ominous.

>>772360772360... Would of been nice had you tagged me in on that.

Technically as you said it's not a ship fic, so even if there was some mutual interest, I was fully aware I wasn't getting a romance out of this. Still, I do hope for at least some hat tip to the two. Although, I do know Spike will at least be involved; I'v missed him in the umpteen chapters he's been MIA. Just... don't go shattering his heart on me

>>779944779944

Oh I will break him in half if I so please hahahahahahahah

Yeah I should have tagged you lol. It's not a ship fic, but I won't deny that I guess some shipping has taken place. And yeah, Spike has been absent lately, but everybody has had their chapter, he just happened to come first.

And the next chapter will replace the bawwww with dawww I promise. Well there will still be some bawwwww

>>780039780039 I'm so tempted to threaten to break you in half right now

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/discord.png

Ya know the d'awwwwwww scares me more at this point. It suggest things, things that could make me

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Rarity.png

“Promise I’ll see another sonic rainboom someday.”

Great line, and Story! I'm looking foward to it.

Did something happen to Sweetie Belle? Was there a major argument between Rarity and the other 4 of the mane 6 ponies? I'm SO~ curious! It's eating me up!

Please let Applejack's failed relation be with Rainbow Dash and have them reconcile at the end

I want AppleDash, I DEMAND IT

Great story so far, what's up with Rarity though, hmmmm....

>>780283780283

I'm glad people are enjoying the suspense there. I'm running out of chances to stall the climax much further, so answers are coming soon.

>>780182780182

You know, at the time, all I thought was "Yeah, that's a good enough line to end on". But people have been loving that.

>>780071780071

Well the more I think about what I'm writing at the moment, it's a dawww moment that makes you bawww. And good luck tracking me down.

I really don't think anybody has figured out Rarity at this point, which makes me happy that it will be a surprise. I didn't give any specific hints, but I think when you guys find out, all the foreshadowing will make sense.

>>780297780297

YOU DON'T OWN ME!!! Just kidding lol. There will be a lot more detail on Applejack soon.

>>780323780323 I have an idea but I'm hoping I'm wrong