Final Case: Brothers In Fraud
Author's Final Note: And with this last chapter, I bid you all Adieu! The next project, if you are all interested, will be submitted by the time this is published and will hopefully be on the site twenty four hours from now. I'm not going to say what it is, except that it's another Crossover. So if anyone wants to check it out, go on ahead. Also, when you get to the end of this chapter, just know that I planned a seriously sad ending, but I took it out so I could have a somewhat sad and a happy one. If you wish to know what the third ending was, ask me in the comments, PM me, I don't know. But trust me, it would've made you cry. Probably.
“I have no time, just spray me with it!”
“....Okie dokie lokie..” Pinkie Pie reluctantly agreed.
She pulled back on the nozzle of the garden hose and water spewed forth rapidly and effusively. It soaked the Detective in water all around. Small little scraps of discarded apples, papers, and treats fell from his linen suit and onto the ground, flowing with the stream towards towards wherever it lead. After wiggling, flapping, and shaking his body and head, Cole Phelps put his hat back on and began to thank the pink party mare.
“So why were you covered in garbage again?” She asked inquisitively.
Picking out a piece of cupcake out of his jacket pocket, he dusted off his hands and answered. “Long story short, I jumped into a pile of garbage to escape the burning tavern.” He recalled the event. And it was certainly not clean.
Moments earlier
The human detective took in his surroundings. There was no other choice. The building beneath his feet was crumbling from the flames and he would die if he didn’t jump. How he would die, he knew exactly. Two things would happen if he didn’t jump. The fire would reach to the roof and he would be set ablaze. The other possibility was that the wooden support would give and the roof would collapse on itself, causing Phelps to fall to a fiery death. Neither option really suited him, as he hoped to at least have an open casket funeral at his eventual death.
Sighing with disbelief, and shaking his head at the reaction he’d get from Rarity, he jumped while holding his breath.
‘Rarity’s going to kill me.’
And he landed with an audible plop onto the widely assorted amount of waste. Now, mind you, he was thankful for where he was. In Equestria, the place itself was innocent for the most part. Cole didn’t have to worry about any gun wielding maniacs running down the street, robbing the harmless citizens willy-nilly. No, the technology of ponykind was confusing, but was lacking. They had recording devices for brain waves, as Twilight Sparkle had shown him, but they were also living in mid 1400 to 1800 era houses.
How a society with medieval themes could function, he didn’t understand. They had a primitive idea of locomotion one which would’ve been prominent around twenty or thirty years ago, but they also still relied heavily on street lamps and torches. They had yet to show any sings of lightbulbs. As far as entertainment went, there were no signs of television sets or radios, though they did have speakerphones, conveyor belts, and potato chips.
Also, they refrigeration units, solely based on the fact that they had ice-cream and were able to keep it in its desirable form for long times. After all of this, Cole knew he would definitely need a vacation from everything. And that would be the perfect time to pry things open, information wise.
“Hey! You dropped into my cart of garbage!” A voice called.
Cole picked himself up of out of the urban muck and wiped off his pants. He slowly picked his hat out of what seemed like a mountain of rotten muffins.
“Sorry about that, Miss. I’m sure you’ll be paid for any damages on my....part..” Cole was speaking as he dusted his clothes, but started to drift off as he met his trash-stained victim.
Her mane was blond and her coat was of a greyish hue. Her Cutie Mark, from what he saw, were bubbles. But that wasn’t what caused him to stop. No, it was her eyes. They weren’t looking at him. He cleared his throat, trying to stop himself from staring any longer.
‘Come on, Phelps. You’ve seen worse than this. Besides, it’s not that..noticeable.’
He extended his hand and greeted the mare. “Detective Cole Phelps, and you are?”
“Ditzy. Ditzy Doo.” She answered, looking at his hand and laughing. “That’s pretty dirty, you know?”
Cole recoiled and looked down at his opposably thumbed hands. They were covered in dirt, grime, and everything that resembled what was once an Italian dinner. He took his hand back and began making his way for Rarity’s Boutique. “Sorry about that. I’ll be sure to notify the proper authorities.”
Phelps quickly disappeared from sight as he rounded the corner of Sugar Cube Corner.
“That was a weird thing, right?” Ditzy asked.
“He was nice when I saw him.”
“You talked to him before, Carrot?”
“Well, he did buy some food, so yeah.”
“And I thought I was sneaky.” Ditzy rolled her eyes.
Carrot Top deadpanned. “You are. Talk about secrets, for a mailmare, why are you in a secret society of Muffin Protectors?”
“How did you know!? It’s a sworn oath to be anonymous!”
“You told me, remember?”
“Oh yeah...”
After his less than desired escape route, Cole had taken the side route of Sugar Cube Corner. It wasn’t exactly the most pleasant experience, having crumbs and such all over one’s body. The smell certainly didn’t help either. As he reached around the corner, he heard a melodious voice singing a song.
“A hop, skip, and a jump!”
Cole Phelps reached the end of the building in time to see Pinkie Pie jumping over bee hives. Her motives were unclear, leaving the detective to just wonder. Her ears rose up like a dog’s head smelling food as she turned her head to the human.
“Hey, Coley-Woley! What’cha doin’?” She suddenly appeared behind him, running around him in circles.
Putting his logic aside, he grinned, but then coughed at the smell of his own clothes. “Nothing, I could ask the same to you.” He looked around when a green tube caught his eyes. “Is that a hose?”
“Why, yes indeedie! Why, do you wanna take it?” She asked with a huge smile, her bug blue eyes almost taking up the major portion of her face.
“Actually, I was wondering if you’d spray me with that.”
Present Day
“And that’s when I got here.” Phelps explained.
“Oh, so what about the part with the bad guys having Rarity?”
“How did you know about that? I never told you.” He was now interested in Pinkie’s affairs.
“Oh, the guy told me. You know, that guy with the face.” Pinkie looked back and forth, as if she was being watched or followed. “That guy with the numbers..” She whispered.
“What ‘guy’? Is he the one doing all of this?!” Cole demanded an answer, thinking Pinkie to be an associate of ‘FFB’.
“No, silly billy!” She leaned in closer, her cotton candy mane and breath in Cole’s face. “The guy watching us. He’s been watching since you came here.” She pointed to the sky and nodded. “He’s been pressing these little thingies with letters on them this entire time.”
Knowing he wasn’t getting anything useful out of the mare, Cole walked away. “Thanks for your time.” He said, like it was a part of his coda.
“Your welcome!” She waved at him vigorously, smiling at the same time. She then turned around, looking around cautiously. “You saw what I did there, guys? Don’t tell ‘him’ though, or he’ll be upset.” She whispered. “Keep this a secret! The wall isn’t supposed to be broken in any of his things.” She winked at the air, as if there was an invisible audience there.
Cole trudged along towards the Carousel Boutique. The letter he had read was doubtful, to say the least. He had left Rainbow Dash with Rarity, and the rainbow-maned Pegasus seemed like she could handle herself. At most, they would have some griffins or Diamond Dogs, but nothing could’ve gone through Rainbow Dash, right?
Ponies passed by Cole like a blur. He was walking in an erratic fashion, not even minding his environment or his well-being. All he could think of was walking into the Boutique and seeing Rainbow Dash with Rarity. He couldn’t fathom the thought that his caretaker was kidnapped. The said building was within sight now. All Cole had to do was get to the door, knock , and wait for a few moments as Rarity fumbled with the locks. He could see it now.
He got to the door within minutes, ready to knock. But that was when he saw the flash of light. The lights were on in the store and the door was creaking open. He drew his pistol and put his free hand on the door lining. He pushed it in slowly as he angled his head in various ways to get better views. So far, all he saw were thrown over desks and chairs. The door abruptly slammed open, causing Cole to jump back.
“Finally, you got here..” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, clearly tired and worn out.
“What happened?” Cole holstered his gun as the mare called him in.
“A lot. Last I remember, these wise guys were sneaking around the place. Before I could go look, I blacked out.” Rainbow Dash felt the back of her head with her hooves. She moved them to her face to see what it was. “Uh oh.” There was red liquid on her cyan fur.
“Let me take a look at that.” Cole brought her towards him. Her fur was soft, surprisingly for an athlete. He moved her head, to which she pulled back from his.
“What’s the big idea, chump? Don’t go and get all grabby on me! You..pervert!”
“Pervert? I’m just trying to see the injury.” Phelps was beyond confused.
“Yeah, Rarity told me how you went birthday suit on her and tried to get her to do things.” Rainbow Dash said with a bemused expression.
“Birth- Oh you had to hear her wrong, or she said something wrong. She walked in on me in MY bathroom. Now let me get a look.” Phelps pulled her down forcefully, yet gently. He parter her spectral mane to get a good look at the source of the red liquid. “That’s not good.”
“Why? What’s wrong?” She fiddled with her hooves as she tried to look at the human.
“They got you on a blood vessel. Looks like blunt force. You probably got hit on the head when you weren’t looking.” Phelps concluded, having some experiences in medical injuries.
“Okay, Doc, then what should I do?”
“Well, the first thing is to get to a real doctor. But more importantly, where’s Rarity?”
“I....don’t know.” Rainbow Dash bowed her head in shame.
“Just like I thought, they weren’t pulling on their end...” Cole trailed off.
“What?”
“Nothing,” He lied. “It’s nothing.”
“So are we gonna go get her or what?” She questioned.
“‘We’ aren’t going to do anything. You are going to the hospital. I’m going alone.”
“Are you crazy?” She gave him a cockeyed look.
“I have no idea.” Cole said as he walked outside. “Hey, where’s the Dam?”
Rainbow Dash flew to his side, to which he looked. She pointed her hoof down a side road. “Follow it all the way down and take the left in the fork. It’s hard to miss after that.”
Cole tipped his hat out of respect and began walking. He heard Rainbow Dash call his name from behind. He turned to see what she wanted. “I’m getting Twilight to follow you.”
He didn’t even bother to answer. He waved a hand dismissively and continued on his path. He wasn’t running, but he was not walking either. It was more of a sprint in which his shoes sounded like gunshots whenever their soles would reach the floor. He swore he could see himself kicking up dust, despite being on a stone path.
Bugs would fly right by his face, some smashing right into him. Thankfully, he had his mouth closed or else he would’ve had an unhealthy lunch. The sun was otherworldly. It had to be this day, that the sun be so relentless. The heat wasn’t much, but it wasn’t pleasant either. It was a warm to mild feeling. Phelps could feel himself starting to perspire under the bright celestial body.
He couldn’t pay attention to that now. Even though it was disturbing him, there was a more pressing matter at hand. Shoving the heat aside, he moved down the road. The trees nearby stood as still as time, almost watching the detective. He felt hundreds of eyes on him, causing him to feel more uncomfortable. This was too much pressure for him. And he reached the fork. There were two paths, one to the left and one to the right. SInce there were no signs to indicate any sense of direction, Phelps went left based ob Rainbow Dash’s explanation.
He couldn’t feel anything except a nagging thought in the back of his mind.
‘Someone’s watching you, Cole. You know it. You’ve had this feeling before and you were never wrong. Catch them with their pants down, metaphorically speaking.’
The human knew his instinct was right. Not once had it failed to please when he felt like a gun or eyes were pointed at him. He decided he would turn and catch the follower or followers red handed. The bend of the road etched into a small patch of forest, providing him with the perfect opportunity. So he quickened his pace and quickly ducked behind the cover of a fruitful cherry tree. He pressed his ears to the trunk and listened for vibrations in the ground.
There was no mistake, he heard the distinct sound of hooves upon dirt. It wasn’t hard to pick out the sound, considering where he had been staying for the past days. And so, he prepared to engage this mysterious contact. The body was moving closer, as the sound was growing and he could hear it without the use of the tree.
“Stop!” He jumped out of cover and braced himself. But what he saw caused him to shake his head and just continue on the path.
“What? Rainbow told me to help.”
“I thought the look I gave her told her no. Twilight, the note I got clearly said no one else.”
“What note?” She asked following.
“This one,” Cole began to search his coat pockets, stopping at one and pulling out a piece of paper. “It’s pretty clear about it.”
“Let me see,” She took it over by use of magic and began to follow the words, left and right, until she reached the end. “Well, you were right about that. But don’t worry, I’ll go unnoticed. That way, you have back up in case things go wrong.” Twilight gave him a sheepish smile.
“Dames....I can’t stop you, huh?”
“Nope.” She stated matter-of-factly.
“Fair enoough. Stick far behind me, I don’t want them seeing you on my neck or something.”
“I know how to sneak, you know. Why, once I sneaked into the castle with Pinkie and Spike.” She recalled.
“How’d that turn out?” Cole asked as he ducked under a hanging branch.
“I was- you know what, that was a bad example. But still, I can be sneaky when I want to.” She hesitantly replied.
“Exactly. So stay back. If they so much as see you, just get out of here.”
“But I-”
“No buts, missy.” Cole interrupted, feeling like he was in a conversation with one of his daughters.
Twilight glared at him with daggers but he wiped off his shoulder. “Time to get moving again.” Cole walked while Twilight moved backwards, skulking and mumbling swears and curses at the human. He could swear he heard her call him a “horse apple eater” and a “sly feather butt”. Of course, he didn’t understand the magnitude of these curses, so he just brushed it off and kept going.
He saw it from where he was. It was large, almost as large as any dam he had ever seen in his life. Which is to say, none. He had seen pictures of Hoover Dam and of the dam in Canada near Niagara Falls, and they were seemingly large from the images. But seeing a dam in real life was another thing. It was made of concrete, from what he could tell, like any other of its compatriots. But it was just so...towering to him.
He heard some clicking from behind him. He turned to meet multiple unicorns in black suits and fedoras, all looking stern. One stood apart from the others as he stepped towards Cole.
“The bosses would like a word with ya.” He spoke in a New York accent.
His horn lit up, as if it were pointed towards him, ready to shoot. Cole took in his surroundings, there was no cover nearby so a gunfight was not possible. He’d be shot as soon as he drew his own gun. Also, there were more than ten or fifteen goons lounging around in the back, most likely being a minor part of their security detail.
They followed Cole as he was nudged forward. Up ahead he saw two shadowed figures sitting on some folding chairs, underneath a parasol and drinking from cups. A familiar mare stood nearby, grinning obnoxiously at Cole. It was Berry Punch.
“You finally got here, detective.” The venom in her voice was ever present.
“I would’ve been here faster if it wasn’t for your henchponies.” The human struggled from the stallion’s grip behind him.
“Well, that’s a shame, you’ve kept them waiting all of this time.” Berry Punch looked to the two figures watching them. “It isn’t the best thing to keep them waiting. They aren’t patient.” She waved at them, the figures nodded in response.
“When am I going to meet them already?”
“Hey boss, our guest has finally arrived.” Berry called.
The unicorn goons pushed Cole forward as he approached the two leaders. They were still mysterious and unseen, due to the shading of the sun under the parasol.
“So you’re the ones who’ve been causing all of this?” Cole moved closer.
“We could say the same to you, my dear sir.” One of them moved forward, revealing a red mustache. “What say you, Flim?”
“I agree, brother. You have no idea how annoying you’ve been for us these days. Years of planning, all gone to waste.”
“What was it that was so important that you needed to do all of this?”
“Why don’t you explain, Flam?” Flim asked his older counterpart.
“Why certainly, Flim.” He turned to the detective. “Now, as you recall, this all had to do with you the moment you stopped our business associates, the Diamond Dogs. Rough fellows, they were. But they knew when there was a profit to be made, even though it was seventy to thirty.”
“Yeah I remember, they tried to steal some items through use of hostages. And they wanted a certain mare as well, right?” Cole narrowed his eyes.
“That is correct, sir. We needed the concert tickets, along with Vinyl Scratch for a very important and crucial part of our plan. You see, we created a spell that can cause certain music to lull unsuspecting ponies into our grasps, buying our products willy-nilly. The concert tickets were our way of getting into a prestigious show with hundreds, no, thousands of wealthy citizens just ripe for the taking. The Diamond Dogs were the closest help-for-hire around, so of course we took their aid. But then you had to go and ruin all of that, didn’t you? Thank Celestia that they are loyal things, or else you might’ve stopped us a way earlier.”
“But what about the birds you sent after Fluttershy?!” Cole barked.
Flam, the mustached unicorn, turned to his younger sibling. “Your turn, brother.”
“Why, my pleasure. From there, we wanted you out of the picture, gone, dead, put away, we didn’t care. So we hired the strongest creatures that would hassle you and your little friends. And what do you know, Gilda was waiting right around the corner for a piece of revenge on Misses Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy. Gladly, her overactive anger and overall ill feelings towards ponies made us hire her without a doubt. That was her problem, was it not? She attacked the weakest one instead of going straight for you? I told her to get you while you were sleeping but she insisted on doing things her way. But what can you do? I mean, she was a sell-sword, or griffin, in this case.”
“You two are criminals!” Phelps glared at the two brothers with hate.
“Oh ,we know. We know.” Flam answered. “That’s why we sent our number one helper here, Miss Berry Punch. Quite the help, if I do say so myself. We met her back when...that was some time ago. Anyway, we met her back during our escapades as traveling salesponies. She was interested in our ventures, so she offered her help for some pay. You know, that was what sparkled this all. Did you know that? That was why we decided to take this...darker path. We wanted to be so rich and powerful, that we could run Sweet Apple Acres to the ground. We had our share of humiliations, but that was the biggest one we ever got. But you made sure it burned to the ground, right Berry?”
Berry Punch nodded and smiled. “You got that right, boss. I burned that thing myself, with my good old family recipe. The place never saw it coming.”
“Good work, bravo!” Flim praised.
“I aim to please.” Berry Punch curtsied.
“Well, on back track, we had her back in her old place, housing us while we developed the rest of the plans. But then you had come along yet again, ruining this critical part of the scheme. Do you know why we had all of those buildings burned? Do you know why?” Flam asked rhetorically.
“Because you two are sociopathic maniacs that need to do some good time behind steel bars?”
“No, although I do appreciate the thought. We not only wanted to harm your companions, but we wanted their insurance money as well. Did you know how many ponies in Equestria actually have insurance policies on their homes? More than half. The ones we were torching all had huge claims on them, most of which we have some take on. Through some of our persuasion, we were able to obtain the contracts and ‘rewrite’ certain aspects. If we pulled that part off successfully, we would’ve racked in a total of one million bits! Can you understand the magnitude of that much money?”
“No, but I know that money goes to a person’s, or pony’s, mind. If one has too much, then they’d go mad with power. They’d lose focus and their grip on the real world and try to mold it in their own way.” Phelps said.
“My my, a meddlesome detective and philosopher. You might beat us in our proficiency of occupations, dear man. But I digress, the main goal of these plans was to do one thing. Control Equestria. Do you know how many of the Royal Council, officials, and emissaries would keel over for just a portion of the riches we would’ve gained? Well actually, we still can buy more than half! And what do you think will happen when we have the majority of them in our hooves? We’d take over Equestria! Princess Celestia and Luna would be taken off their thrones. We’d have the officials spreading propaganda against the royalty so that distrust would form. And then the greatest part of this plan is that they won’t do anything to us or the people, lest they want a bad reputation.”
“You’re crazy. Who says I’m going to let you do this?!” Cole moved closer to them but was held in place by a field of green magic.
“I have him, Flam. Finish up the story, will you brother?” Flim asked as he used his magic to hold Cole in place.
“So then we’d have the entire government of Equestria in our grip. And then, we’d be free to do whatever we wanted, whether it was to sell apples from Flim Flam Fields, be insurance holders, anything. The possibilities are endless, my dear boy. And to think, this all started from a small grudge with the Apple family.” Flam started to laugh, the other ponies following. His mustache bounced with him.
“Screw you and your plans! Where the hell did you take Rarity?!”
“Oh, that’s the best part. Berry, be a dear and tell him about his little marefriend?”
Berry Punch moved up to Cole Phelps and started to run her hooves along the lining of his clothes. Then she spoke to him like a mother would to a child. “Your little Rarity is gone, up the empty stream, right under the dam. We had a special device made with the Brothers’ genius. It’s called an ‘Atmospheric Magical Detonation Device’. It has powerful magic stored inside, and with the lighting of a fuse, can explode, causing disastrous effects. Rarity is tied down like a ship at the bottom of the empty river. But, when the bombs blow up, let’s say Rarity won’t exactly be safe.” Berry Punch started to laugh.
“Why do you think we told you all of this, detective? For our health? No, we told you because there’s no way out for you this time. After we finish with you, the dam is going to blow, washing away both you and your friend. Not to mention , we’d get to rack in the money we’d receive from the insurance claim on the dam. And after that, Canterlot here we come.” Flim and Flam said in unison.
Cole Phelps, a master detective, war veteran, justice seeking policeman, was stuck. He was surrounded by more than thirty or so ponies, and he was trapped. He couldn’t pull his gun or else he’d get a shot of magic right through his chest. He also didn’t want to put Rarity in danger. If only there was a wa-
*Zap*
A pony fell to the ground, turned to stone, as a lavender beam passed through him.
“We said nopony else!” Flim barked as he ran for cover.
Flam and Berry ran towards a mobile vehicle, seemingly old and vintage. It looked like an automobile from the late 1800s.
“Start it!” Flam shouted.
“I can’t, it’s jammed!” Berry replied.
“Of all times..”
The goons were in a chaotic array, they were running around madly as bolts of lavender came at them, turning them to stone and stopping them in place. It was coming from somewhere in the forest, but Cole couldn’t see where. Making the most of his situation , he ran to a nearby unicorn and punched him on the back of his head, rendering said pony out cold. Cole took the unicorn in his arms and pumped his body like a shotgun. It wasn’t the most dignified thing to do, but Twilight had taught him that unicorns could be used like a weapon, which she was used as such during a wedding in Canterlot.
When he pumped the unicorn, it surprisingly made a cocking sound like a shotgun would. “Well, what else is new?” He squeezed the unconscious unicorn’s belly as a bolt of magic protruded from his horn, hitting a stray goon in the head and knocking him a few feet away. This was repeated, Cole Phelps would pump the unicorn like a shotgun and fire. He received some shots his way back but he would dodge them, or use his weapon as a shield.
Once his weapon had run out of magic, he tossed the used up pony aside and observed his environment. The Flim Flam Brothers along with Berry Punch were still trying to operate their vehicle. The remaining henchponies had left already, leaving many unconscious bodies and the detective alone. A familiar lavender unicorn came galloping out of the woods triumphantly.
“Thanks for the help, God knows I needed it.” Cole ruffled her mane.
“No problem. But what about them!?” Twilight Sparkle pointed towards the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000. It was piping fumes and moving slowly away, gaining speed with each minute.
“But Rarity’s still in danger! We need to get them but we need to save her..”
“There’s two of us, partner. What do you want to do, Cole?”
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Ooh. A choice...
I HATE THESE KINDS OF CHOICES.... WAAAAAAAAAH! RARRRITY
Oh shit, a choice. That's friggin cool.
SCREW IT IMMA CHOSE BOTH OF EM
Btw what was the third choice?
The lives of many are far more important that the life of one. If they get away, all of this will be for naught. I'm gonna put those goons in the gallows.
Sorry Rarity, but Twilight's gonna have to rescue you this time.
I was thinking "there is always one more choice: do nothing
" but that would never happen in this case.
“Oh, the guy told me. You know, that guy with the face.” Pinkie looked back and forth, as if she was being watched or followed. “That guy with the numbers..” She whispered.
thats you right?
I'm surprised that Trixie isn't involved in this...