• Member Since 24th Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen Jul 4th, 2022

TheDawsonator1


If you came here for any sort of sanity, You came to the wrong page! heh heh HAHAHAHAHA! But yes, I love HIE and some good funny stories and love depending in how it's done. Have fun out there!

Sequels1

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Ponies get drunk, right? Some of them wake up with a hangover or even next to somepony and then proceed to run for the hills. This may go double if you end up in Las Pegasus...weird things happen there.

Our dear human, Jason is one such being, but his drunk mistake has upped the ante by being with none other than Princess Celestia and by that action alone they are forced to marry soon by a law long forgotten from Celestia's teenage years. But that's not the only surprise in store for the pair of them as many conflicts will be coming over the months ahead.

Whether the two like it or not, they must be together until Jason's mortal life ends and there is no way of getting out of that but to live with it.

Chapters (24)
Comments ( 342 )

Ehhhhh the way this is written could do with a little improvement, first person perspective isn't doing this story too many favors. It's got a good premise and it's very neat otherwise, which means I'll be sticking around for a while.

I felt several things were wrong with this chapter.

I felt there should be more development based on thoughts and feelings. Take your time with it.

Conversations kept having one after another.

Maybe develop Jason a bit more.

Other than that, i thought it was kind of okay.

This thing is cracked.

Way too much caps. Like, half the dialogue and thoughts are in caps. Things are more special when you use less of it.

6496399 Thanks there's always improvement. I'm no big writer or anything.

6496757 If you need any help making this better grammar or formatting wise, I can help you if you don't already have an editor.

I read this before.
I know I have.
I don't think the author stole it.
I'm confused.

Aaaaaaaaand I'm gone! sorry dude you had a interest idea but when you put the 'in your head thing' so much fear and cowardliness, freaking RAPE! and not even taking Angel with him, and giving him a payback you lost me complete. it was an interest concept though, and I wish you the best of luck

karl #9 · Oct 6th, 2015 · · 2 · Oops... ·

Dis gun be good

Needs work and editing. Promising story. Do continue.:twilightsmile:

We'll I'm hooked, keep it up.

i havent laughed that hard in weeks :D keep up the funny work

awesome








stayclassy:moustache:

“Long story short, I fucked the Princess of the Sun while somehow drunk and I am totally screwed when she finds out it was me” I shortly explain in a blunt way.

I think I don´t undestand it, was she drunk too? I don´t get why she should not know it, in every story I know, she can´t get drunk.
6496879
6496694
6496399
I somehow agree with everyone of them, but I can´t really decide what was the worst point for me.
The story started good, but not everything was that good.

I like this better already than your last one. Your spelling certainly has improved a lot.

Well I’m sorry I respect you Celestia as much as the next pony, but this is not something that is outright stupid.

No, I am in fact pretty sure that this is outright stupid.

I think that gods should be able to get drunk, it makes for some good story stuff.

Thor infamously once conned a giant out of his ocean-sized cauldron so he could brew mead in it. Gods get drunk all the fucking time. Even Jesus supposedly once made his own wine to get sloshed on. I don't really know where the stupid idea that they shouldn't comes from, because mythology sure isn't it.

and for the record of waifus, Celestia is my number 1 followed by Sunset Shimmer, Fluttershy, Coco Pommel, Pinkie Pie and then Rainbow Dash.

Yeah, I think we all could have lived long and happier lives without ever knowing that.

Note to myself, never challenge a princess to a drinking competition..... funny story so far, keep up the good work :pinkiehappy:

6504982 Thanks for noticing the error, I reworded that sentence a bit better and sorry about the last bit...don't know what went into me (I may have had a few at the time of writing the AN). Also, when does Thor do that? I can picture but I can't remember when and where it happens it's been a while. As for the Gods don't get drunk thing, I disagree with that notion but I have seen a few fics have placed this one here or at least the Princesses saying they are more resistant to being drunk, bonus points if the Princess gets drunk and ends up bedding the male in the scene right after she says it. That said, I'm all for Gods and Goddesses getting drunk.

6505016
Don't worry, it happens. Also, I am not quite sure in which particular myth this happens, but I think it was part of the Prose Edda. Most stuff is, really. Thor was really rather fond of cheating the giants out of all kinds of shit. Like that time he pretended to be Idun (I think) and almost married the king of the frost giants so Asgard wouldn't have to pay their debt for a service rendered by them.

Yeah, the Aesir were kind of dicks. No wonder the giants are eventually going to kill them all. :rainbowlaugh:

Ok, you have my attention now, let's see what happens. for now take my like and trak

someone should get jasons hopes up by asking if a unicorn or luna scanned his memories to verify if he actually did it with celestia, then just as hope comes back to the surface BAM! the alcohol was too potent and after a furious makeout session all memory is lost!

I think that I like this story and it well be funny as hell. Keep up the good work you are doing. I do hope to see a new chapter soon.

Dragonfox

6505140
Jason: Pinkie Pie, Just what the fucking hell did you give us to drink?
:pinkiesmile::You know, I am not really sure. I think it was something called a Pants Gigantic Guzzle Bunker or somethi-
Jason: Wait a second... Do you mean Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster?
:pinkiehappy:: YES! That's what it was called.
Jason: ...How the hell are me and Celestia still alive?

6506121 That's sort of how I want him to be, the thing is, a lot of human characters have that sense of bravery that I don't think a drop of fear ever really hit them, they act way too normal for their experiences to even support the fact. I mean it's something the HIE community accepted a long time ago and I'm not against it, far from it. I just think that maybe some fics need a little less bravery, when was the last time you saw a human outright run from a villain? Or at least have some sign of fear. So I like to think a bit of fear is alright, I won't make him too wimpy or anything.

I saw this story, liked the premise and gave it a try. I'm afraid I couldn't make it much past the first chapter.

The good parts of this story are the premise, the fact that you have a cowardly protagonist, and the choice of first person is a good call for you.

The biggest downside that I see is the character voices. All the characters talk like Jason. They all use the same slang, the same sentence structure, and the same tones.

You also have talking head syndrome. There's almost no prose in this story, everything is either thoughts or dialog. This leads to talking head syndrome.

6506174

when was the last time you saw a human outright run from a villain? Or at least have some sign of fear.

Pretty often. The problem is that bad stories tend to come in either extreme, but rarely with something more nuanced and in the middle. If you can pull it off well, I'm certainly not complaining. I prefer it somewhat heavier on the bravery, admittedly, but that's because I think a protagonist (human or otherwise) who doesn't have enough spine to go out and actively do things unless pressured into it just isn't fun to read about.

Hehe, I highly enjoy Luna going all protective over Celestia. Normaly its the elder sibling to do so but this reversal plus the fan-canon for Lunas character in general makes this very fitting.^^b

Needs a bit of editing
Other than that, quite hilarious.

So...how does he know for sure that they banged? Cause at this point it seems he's just assuming

the question now is "how many ponies heard dash?"

I don't have it there for decoration, although Shining Armor does if you know what I mean...

Shining only married Cadence for bragging rights?

Well no, don’t get me wrong, her body gave me a boner when I first saw her

Welp, so much for blaming the booze, then. Bona fide natural-born horsefucker right there.

heat season

I am so, so fucking sick of that particular cliché, by the way. Horses don't even go into heat, never even mind that having a mating season means an animal is simply completely unwilling or unable to mate outside of it. It's just so amazingly blatantly an excuse to have female characters who literally can't say no to the authorial self-insert, it's only even sad anymore.

Twilight sparkle is going be mad as hell or wanted to learn human mating :rainbowderp: :trollestia:

Wow, great chapter, I really like Jason's moral

Is not Pinkie's radar from what Jason and Celestia should be worried about.

Cadence: "Mmmmm... what is this? my shipping senses are tingling "

Oh what surprises await them on their date...

Celestia is kind of clueless on love as she never really had time for it unlike Cadence

media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/7e/bd/f4/7ebdf4c670edac4d5f3ab4287fa18c8b.jpg
She can't be that dense...I can see her never having time for it with duties and all, but clueless to love? Her love for her ponies is boundless. She loves Twilight, her sister, Cadence...good god, she's the Mother of Life!

Just my opinion. Pay not attention to the raging man with the red beard.:twilightsheepish:

6530132 Yep nopony can get past the Shipdar. Resistance is Futile

6530526 Well I sort of mean like love love, you know? Human and Celestia sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G love. I guess what I am trying to get across is that when it comes to relationships, Celestia is a very inexperienced pony despite her years of living and at best, any ideology she'd have would be outdated.

please tell me that your going to pull an SAO and button and sweetie are going to kill that fucker in the end. (seriously, if you are going to do that tell me, through Pm obviously).

6519132

Horses don't even go into heat

You learn something new every day

to have female characters who literally can't say no to the authorial self-insert

Or who won't take a no from the self-insert. Seen it go both ways...

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It lasts from like February to November. There's really no point to even calling it a mating season anymore.

6530526 You never see this side of Celestia in the show so there's no telling how she should act








stayclassy:moustache:

6519132

I am so, so fucking sick of that particular cliché, by the way. Horses don't even go into heat, never even mind that having a mating season means an animal is simply completely unwilling or unable to mate outside of it. It's just so amazingly blatantly an excuse to have female characters who literally can't say no to the authorial self-insert, it's only even sad anymore.

They're extra-dimensional technicolor magical sentient beings who live in a land of mythical creatures, so your logic kinda goes right out the window on this one.

Also, they're not horses my good sir, they are ponies! :pinkiegasp: :twilightsmile: :trollestia:

6519639
*Twilight opens letter*
"My most faithful student,
I fear I must call you to the Castle with a most urgent request!
You are the only pony who can do this for me Twilight, I require a skilled note taker before sunset tonight!

- Your mentor,

Princess Celestia."

*Twilight arrives at the castle and meets with a guard who directs her immediately to Celestia's chambers*

"Princess! I came as soon as I cou- WHAT THE BUCK!?" :twilightoops:

"Oh, hello Twilight! Quickly, I require you to take detailed notes on human mating. As you can see, I will be rather preoccupied at the time." :trollestia:

6543979 AHAHAHA! You have made my day...I honestly saw that in my head. (Would you have any oxygen tanks? I can't breathe due to the laughing)

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