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  • E Postgraduate Work

    After her coronation, Twilight must discover just what she's princess of.
    8,749 words · 1,063 views  ·  88  ·  0
  • E Mandatory Fun

    Cheese Sandwich dons the Alicorn Amulet, and Equestria trembles.
    2,650 words · 3,139 views  ·  490  ·  14
  • E Elementals of Harmony

    (FiMtG) The only standing between Equestria and apocalypse is Ditzy Doo. Yes, really. Stop laughing!
    96,433 words · 4,745 views  ·  262  ·  8
  • E The Glaring Gaffes of Gabby Gums

    A very special edition of the Foal Free Press
    1,370 words · 2,389 views  ·  118  ·  2
  • T The Implicit Neighs

    Ponies have always been one of the many races of Ravnica. Some familiar ponies happen to be members of guilds. These are their stories.
    40,813 words · 1,747 views  ·  137  ·  5
  • E Outlier

    A all-too-brief foray into Equestria.
    2,560 words · 697 views  ·  64  ·  1
  • T Scootaloathe

    Scootaloo plots the downfall of her antithesis and nemesis.
    4,033 words · 1,130 views  ·  147  ·  6
  • E A Somber Tale

    My name is Sombra. I am more than a mass of shadows. This is my story.
    3,181 words · 422 views  ·  39  ·  0

Blog Posts171

  • Today
    Psychogenic Prose

    Well, as I said in the author's note of "In Amazing Technicolor," that was an experience. Here's what I've gathered from thirty-one days of shuffling. (Caution: rather disorganized rambling ahead.)

    • Twenty-two out of thirty-one stories were a thousand words or longer. The shorts were handy for days when I either wasn't feeling the prompt card or felt I'd said all I needed to in less than a kiloword. Still, I feel strangely guilty about them, like I cheated. Regardless, the compilation was almost certainly a better choice than swamping my story archive with thirty-one actual one-shots.

    • 38,274 words of story in total according to Fimfiction, for an average of about 1,234.6 words per day. I'd like to say I planned that. Of course, if I had, I would've gotten the tenths digit to cooperate.

    • As of this blog, fifty-one upvotes, two downvotes, 494 views, and a few appearances on the bottom three lines of the featured box. Not bad. I suppose the prompt method made it something of a niche appeal story.

    • I still don't know why there's this stigma around One-Shotober. I have suspicions, but nothing concrete.

    • No one commented on the pun in the story image. I suppose they either felt it wasn't germane to the discussion, didn't think it was worthy of discussion, or just didn't notice.

    • Some people don't read story descriptions or author's notes. The compilation was added to six groups on the day it was published. Five of them were Equestria Girls-related. :facehoof:

    • Chapter publication notifications only happen the first time the chapter is published, even if the story wasn't submitted at that time. Hence, no one was notified went "Core Values" went up. I'll be sure to remember that in the future.

    • The stats page needs work; it hasn't registered more than a third of the thumbs.

    • Speaking of the stats page, for the most part, story views formed a rough waveform. For the most part, peaks came in the middle of the week, while troughs came during the weekend. The big exception, Saturday the 18th, was a day the compilation was featured. This is pretty much the opposite of what I expected. Apparently nothing helps get people through Hump Day like card game-themed horsewords.

    • When using this method of prompt generation, creatures are by far the dullest cards to work with. Instants and sorceries suggest events, lands settings, artifacts literal plot devices, and enchantments themes. Creatures require characters, who need a considerably greater narrative commitment and offer far less flexibility, especially when the card can't be connected to a preexisting character. Legends and planeswalkers are probably even worse; they demand specific characters from outside Equestria. I'm honestly glad I never got one.

    • My effort to provide a counterpoint to the inevitable wave of siren redemption stories did better than I expected it too. I was expecting it to be drowned out completely, but people seemed to like it, and I even got one or two "headcanon accepted"s. :yay:

    • Say what you will about the writing in "Keep Calm and Flutter On," Discord is a delight to work with when he isn't forced into an antagonistic context. I already knew this, but getting to write five different stories with him as a relatively benevolent trickster underscored it.

    • Dialogue attribution issues aside, I have tremendous fun when writing two instances of the same character interacting with one another. Of course, I'm the guy who made the League of Infinite Lyras, so that doesn't really come as much of a surprise. Still, I'll definitely want to write some more human ponidoxes, especially with a permanently open portal.

    • I also had a lot of fun putting together characters who normally don't interact much, if at all: Discord and Cheerilee, Applejack and Zecora, Shining Armor and Spike (and how sad is it that that last pair qualifies as such?) Such unusual match-ups offer a chance to explore new directions with both characters.

    • No one commented on the Easter egg in "Prismatic Mercy." Hint: acrostic.

    • I really like the idea of the human universe being the World of Darkness to Equestria's Exalted. For those unfamiliar with White Wolf RPGs, I mean a world that seems like ours but has many forms of magic lying just under the surface, as opposed to one that revels in its own supernatural outlandishness. Needless to say, the tone is meant to be much happier than in the RPGs.

    • The Power Ponies universe is actually quite fun to work with, especially since there's so much left unexplored. I may revisit it sometime.

    • I really seem to have it out for the Flimflam Brothers. I think it's because of how much potential they're wasting. If they'd just market the blasted horseless carriage...

    • Going by when the story was featured, people want more young Granny Smith and Sombra in their pony fiction. Who knew?

    • And finally, I am never doing that again. Ever. I have a tremendous amount of newfound respect for authors who can maintain this kind of pace (or even faster!) Still, at some point this went from fun to duty to bloody-mindedness. It was a great opportunity to publish some long-stewing headcanon (e.g. "Core Values," "No and Yes," "My Little Ponzi") and come up with fresh (e.g. "Necessary Evil," "Downtime," "Marine Biology,") but overall, I'd rather write because I want to, not because I feel obligated to. On that note, not doing NaNoWriMo. Not that I ever have.

    Feel free to ask any questions you have about anything in the compilation here. Ancillary details, behind the scenes notes, whatever. Also, note that I added a table of contents that includes each story's canonicity relative to Elementals of Harmony.

    1 comments · 52 views
  • Sunday
    Friendship is Card Games: Party of One

    An appropriate episode for a day after the server went crazy. This episode gave us Pinkie's hair as a mood ring and gave me all the justification I needed to make Laughter the Element of Harmony most associated with black mana. (Interestingly, Cupcakes was actually written before this aired.)

    One other concept the fandom got from this, along with "The Best Night Ever," was Cutie Mark Failure Syndrome, sometimes called Cutie Mark Failure Insanity Syndrome. The idea was that if a pony who either can't perform her special talent or doubts whether she deserves it for long enough, she will undergo a psychotic break and become her own antithesis. It's not seen much anymore, which is kind of a shame. It's an interesting addition to the narrative toolbox.

    We open with proof that Pinkie's abilities are only finite when the narrative says they are. (cf. The speed limit in "Too Many Pinkie Pies," getting stuck on the rock slide in "Maud Pie," etc.) She can do anything as long as it's funny. She can't do anything if that inability would serve the plot.

    Once upon a time, Twilight could dance. Then she got hip-checked into a wall. She learned her lesson after that.

    I had to laugh at Twilight shushing the background music in her scene with Mrs. Cake.

    I'm going to say that unicorn tails don't have the same level of prehensility as earth pony ones, but Rarity's elaborate curls allow her to constrict more effectively. As kudzuhaiku would put it, it's not cheating. It's unicorn cleverness.

    Either Pinkie has incredible hearing, or Rarity and Fluttershy were stage whispering. Considering that stage whispering is fairly loud for Fluttershy, I'm going to go with the latter.

    Sending the Bearer of Honesty to waylay Pinkie may seem like a terrible idea, but as another earth pony, Applejack was probably the only one who could effectively bar Pinkie's path. Otherwise, she might have just trampled through the door.

    Spike's moment of vanity made even Pinkie Pie speechless. That's quite impressive.

    Now, let's see if you guys still like my cards and still want to be my friends:

    Pleasant Surprise 3WW

    Instant

    You gain 10 life.

    Miracle 1W (You may cast this card for its miracle cost when you draw it if it's the first card you drew this turn.)

    Abrupt Silence U

    Instant

    Counter target enchantment spell or target activated ability from an enchantment source.

    "Shh!"

    Flimsy Excuse 1U

    Enchantment

    Whenever a player casts a spell, counter that spell unless that player pays 1.

    4: Destroy Flimsy Excuse. Any player may activate this ability.

    "Because I said so."

    Delusional Piecosis 1UU

    Enchantment

    Each noncreature artifact you control is an Illusion artifact creature with power and toughness equal to its converted mana cost.

    At the beginning of each end step, if you control a non-Illusion creature, sacrifice Delusional Piecosis.

    Eavesdrop 2U

    Instant

    Whenever target opponent draws a card this turn, you may draw a card.

    "If they didn't want me to know what they were saying, they shouldn't have been talking next to that can."

    —Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter

    Antidisguise 2UU

    Enchantment — Aura

    Enchant creature

    Enchanted creature has hexproof and can't be blocked except by Walls.

    The idea isn't to become unnoticeable. It's to become so noticeable that everypony refuses to accept what they're seeing.

    Book Fort 3U

    Creature — Wall

    Defender

    Book Fort's toughness is equal to twice the number of cards in your hand.

    "A childish pasttime. I haven't made one for… would you believe months?"

    —Twilight Sparkle, Bearer of Magic

    1/*

    Beachcomber Bear 4U

    Creature — Bear

    When Beachcomber Bear enters the battlefield, return target artifact card from your graveyard to your hand.

    "Magic does weird things sometimes. A bear with a metal detector barely merits a blink."

    —Ditzy Doo

    3/3

    Intense Interrogation B

    Sorcery

    Target opponent reveals his or her hand, then chooses a card in it. You may pay B. If you do, repeat this process except that opponent can't choose a card already chosen for Intense Interrogation. Then that player discards the last chosen card.

    Putrid Stench BB

    Enchantment — Aura

    Enchant creature

    Whenever a creature blocks enchanted creature, the blocking creature gets -1/-1 until end of turn.

    To a species accustomed to the smell of brimstone, rotting garbage is barely noticeable. Others aren't so lucky.

    Curse of Dissonance 2B

    Enchantment — Aura Curse

    Enchant player

    Activated abilities of Songs enchanted player controls cost an additional "Remove two verse counters from this Song" to activate.

    "Sometimes you need to let your throat rest."

    —Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter

    Pinkie's Punchwader 2B

    Creature — Crocodile

    If an opponent would gain life, that player gains 1 life instead.

    Swallow if you dare.

    2/1

    Depths of Sorrow 4BB

    Enchantment

    At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player loses 2 life and discards a card.

    "The Element of Laughter made me more emotionally resilient. You should've seen me back in the day. Well, actually, be glad you didn't."

    —Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter

    Confer with Gummy XBB

    Sorcery

    As an additional cost to cast Confer with Gummy, pay X life.

    Look at the top twice X cards of your library. Put X of them into your hand and the rest into your graveyard.

    Gummy always tells Pinkie Pie exactly what she wants to hear.

    Killer Choreography 3RR

    Enchantment

    Whenever one or more creatures you control attack, Killer Choreography deals X damage to target creature defending player controls, where X is the number of attacking creatures you control.

    Stand clear of dancing earth ponies, or you won't be left standing.

    Bob for Surprises 2GG

    Sorcery

    Each player reveals cards from the top of his or her library until he or she reveals a permanent card, puts that card onto the battlefield, then puts the rest on the bottom of his or her library in any order.

    "Wow, I don't remember putting that in there!"

    —Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter

    Herald's Helm 1

    Artifact — Equipment

    Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, you and that player each draw a card.

    Equip 1

    "It's actually a good thing that I don't have a mail cutie mark. Some mailponies can be very enthusiastic."

    —Ditzy Doo

    With Catlike Tread (ur)

    Trope Instant

    Creatures your opponents control with hexproof can be the targets of spells and abilities you control this turn as though they didn't have hexproof.

    The more you try not to be noticed, the more noticeable you become.

    8 comments · 107 views
  • 1w, 5d
    Friendship is Card Games: Owl's Well That Ends Well

    When I first watched this episode, as the credits ran, I found myself confused. It took me a moment to figure out why: I didn't like it. It's a plot that hinges on a lack of communication, Twilight making unfounded assumptions about someone she's known for his entire life, and tearing down established characters to make the new guy look good.

    I do wish Dash had acted as a booster for Scootaloo, but this is still fairly early in their relationship, so it's not surprising.

    So, the peerless unicorn prodigy can't grab a piece of paper with her magic? You really need to work on your reaction times, Sparkle.

    Spike's desperation to please Twilight…. yeah, that doesn't exactly reflect well on her. It comes across as less "eager to please" and more "please don't beat me for my indolence." And this is coming from someone who hates the "Spike is a slave" meme.

    Let's get this out of the way: the name is normally spelled Aloysius. Ergo, the bird's name is most likely spelled Owloysius. Probably far too late to change anything in that regard, but I just wanted it said.

    I admit, we do get a good look at dragon possessiveness here. Spike is actually quite notable for hoarding such intangibles as employment and respect.

    "OMG." O. M. G. WTF, Twilight? (Not the last time I'll be asking that this episode.) I'm putting the blame for this squarely on Cindy Morrow's shoulders. Still, interesting to know that there's a "Fairyland" inhabited by ferrets. Related to the Breezie dimension?

    When Spike fell asleep on the stairs, I thought that everything that followed was a dream sequence. It made much more sense than it actually happening.

    Huh. I didn't realize the enchanted refrigerator was first seen here rather than "Somepony to Watch Over Me." Well, I guess that ketchup had to come from somewhere.

    "It's too dark," she says. "I can't see," she says. Again: peerless unicorn prodigy. Can't make her horn glow. :facehoof:

    Right, let's see what I was able to get from this:

    Clumsy Flailing 1W

    Instant

    Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt this turn by creatures with power 4 or greater.

    "Alas, we can't all be paragons of grace and beauty."

    —Rarity, Bearer of Generosity

    Librarian's Owl UU

    Creature — Bird

    Flying

    When Librarian's Owl enters the battlefield, draw two cards, then put two cards from your hand on top of your library in any order.

    "He's really helpful when I need something from the high shelves."

    —Twilight Sparkle, Bearer of Magic

    1/1

    Querulous Quail 2U

    Creature — Bird

    Flying

    When Querulous Quail enters the battlefield, choose a letter. Each opponent puts the top card of his or her library into his or her graveyard for each nonland permanent whose name begins with that letter.

    Quailing cues quizzical qualms and quandaries.

    2/1

    Rote Repetition 2UU

    Instant

    Copy target instant or sorcery spell. You may choose new targets for the copy.

    Retrace (You may cast this spell from your graveyard by discarding a land card in addition to paying its other costs.)

    "Hoo?"

    Quill and Sofa 4U

    Sorcery

    Choose one —

    • Draw two cards.

    • Return target artifact card from your graveyard to the battlefield.

    Entwine 2 (Choose both if you pay the entwine cost.)

    Villain Couture 2B

    Enchantment — Aura

    Enchant creature

    Enchanted creature is black, gets +2/+1, and has intimidate.

    Sometimes you need a cape and a mustache to go with your maniacal laugh.

    Covetousness 2R

    Enchantment

    Players other than Covetousness's owner can't control it.

    Whenever another player gains control of a permanent you control, Covetousness deals 4 damage to that player.

    For dragons, charity means only burning thieves rather than reducing them to ash.

    Dragon Sneeze 2R

    Instant

    As an additional cost to cast Dragon Sneeze, discard a card at random.

    Dragon Sneeze deals 5 damage to target player.

    "Um, sorry about that."

    —Spike

    Frenzied Search 3R

    Sorcery

    Discard three cards, then draw three cards.

    "What am I supposed to with a quail? I'm looking for feathers!"

    —Spike

    Star Shower 5RR

    Sorcery

    Exile all cards from your graveyard. Star Shower deals X damage divided as you choose among any number of target creatures and/or players, where X is the number of cards exiled this way.

    "No remorse. No regrets. Let these be the last tears I shed for my indiscretions."

    —Princess Luna

    Combustible Rage XR

    Sorcery

    Target creature you control gets +X/+0 until end of turn. You may have that creature fight up to one target creature you don't control.

    Do not anger dragons, for they have quick tempers and long memories.

    Spirescale Dragon 4GG

    Creature — Dragon

    Trample, reach

    2GG: Spirescale Dragon gets +3/+3 until end of turn. Untap it. Activate this ability only once each turn.

    Dragon growth is as much a matter of mentality as maturity. Some dragons learn to exploit this.

    5/4

    Party Preparations XGG

    Sorcery

    Distribute X +1/+1 counters among any number of target creatures.

    "Checklists? For a party? Why don't you just have everpony fill out forms the whole time?"

    —Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter

    Bejeweled Bow Tie 3

    Artifact — Equipment

    Equipped creature gets +1/+1 for each other creature you control.

    Equip 3

    The wearer is armed with admiration.

    Jewel Horde 4

    Artifact

    Whenever a creature you control attacks, you gain 1 life.

    Whenever a creature deals combat damage to you, that creature's controller gains control of Jewel Horde.

    Early Bedtime 1(wu)

    Instant

    Tap each creature that entered the battlefield this turn.

    Draw a card.

    "Technically speaking, they were just born. They need their rest."

    —Twilight Sparkle, Bearer of Magic

    10 comments · 143 views
  • 2w, 1d
    Wait, What?

    6 comments · 126 views
  • 2w, 5d
    Friendship is Card Games: The Cutie Mark Chronicles

    Ah, backstory. Precious, precious backstory. What would we do without you? Make it up, of course. :derpytongue2: Still, this was an important episode for the show, and gave us one of the biggest "for want of a nail" moments in pony fiction.

    It also gives six case studies in cutiesynthesis, allowing some study of the phenomenon. There seems to be some critical threshold of practicing the talent, recognizing it, and being appreciated for it. I'm thinking the root of the sum of the squares. Once that's passed, bam, cutie mark.

    Note that Scootaloo can get just enough lift to get her hooves off the ground. Technically flying.

    I have to wonder why "the most cosmopolitan city in Equestria" is full of random horse noises. Maybe the sheer density of background conversation overloaded the translator? Or maybe it's just this episode; there seems to be a disproportionate number of them.

    I'd forgotten how young Rainbow Dash outsqueaked Sweetie Belle. That's an impressive achievement. Also, it took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that "I owe it all to the pegasus race" was referring to the competition between Dash and the bullies, not pegasi as a subspecies.

    Rarity getting dragged to her destiny was the major component in my headcanon about unicorn horns containing secondary, occasionally autonomous nervous structures. (As such, whenever I see talk of cracking or breaking horns, I always shudder. There's brain in there!)

    Oh, Twilight. One has to wonder what would have happened without Celestia's intervention. Probably nothing good...

    Pinkie… well, Pinkie. Need I say more?

    "BFFs forever"? Really? I'm not even going to consider blaming Rarity for that one, that's all on Larson.

    Now, to make a little of Equestria:

    Gleeful Acceptance 1W

    Enchantment

    Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, you may pay 1. If you do, you gain 2 life.

    "You might say I was happy when Celestia chose me as her personal student."

    —Twilight Sparkle, Bearer of Magic

    Canterlot Trumpeter 2WW

    Creature — Unicorn Soldier

    Each legendary creature you control enters the battlefield with an additional +1/+1 counter on it.

    Fanfare is usually the most demanding task that will be asked of the Canterlot Guard. As such, the position of trumpeter carries honor and glory most militaries give to the front lines.

    2/4

    Flight Camp 3W

    Enchantment

    2W: Put a 1/1 white Pegasus creature token with flying onto the battlefield.

    One of the cultural relics from the days of Pegasopolis, flight camp is mandatory for all young pegasi.

    Phytomorph 1U

    Instant

    Until end of turn, target creature loses all abilities and becomes a green Plant with base power and toughness 0/3.

    Wild magic tends towards transmutation on Ungula, often with surreal results.

    Demand Perfection 1UU

    Sorcery

    As an additional cost to cast Demand Perfection, sacrifice an artifact.

    Search your library for an artifact card and exile it, then shuffle your library. At the beginning of your next upkeep, put the exiled card onto the battlefield under your control.

    Cram Session 2U

    Sorcery

    Replicate 2U (When you cast this spell, copy it for each time you paid its replicate cost.)

    Draw two cards, then discard a card.

    "Ponies aren't meant to learn this way, but sometimes it's your only option."

    —Twilight Sparkle, Bearer of Magic

    Destiny Drag 2UU

    Sorcery

    Choose a card type, then reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a card of the chosen type. Put that card into your hand and the rest into your graveyard.

    Very rarely, unicorn horns act on their own initiative. It is always to the unicorn's benefit, though how isn't always apparent.

    Flight Response XUU

    Instant

    Return all creatures with power X or less to their owners' hands.

    Deep in every mind, there is a little voice that says nothing but "Run." Sometimes, it shouts.

    Surge of Insight 1R

    Sorcery

    Exile the top two cards of your library. You may play cards exiled this way this turn.

    The external effects of Twilight's magic surge were nothing compared to what it was doing to her mind.

    Long Drop 3R

    Sorcery

    Target creature you control gets +X/+0 and gains flying and trample until end of turn, where X is that creature's power. When it deals combat damage this turn, sacrifice it.

    Pegasi are physically and magically adapted to survive falls, but even they have their limits.

    Apple Snatchers 1G

    Creature — Rabbit Rogue

    Whenever Apple Snatchers deals combat damage to a player, add G to your mana pool at the beginning of your next main phase.

    "Disrespectful little varmints. Next time they show up here, Winona's getting a special treat."

    —Applejack, Bearer of Honesty

    2/1

    Macroscope 2G

    Instant

    Target creature gets +5/+5 until end of turn.

    Spike's earliest memory is a panorama of Canterlot, seen from a great height.

    Zip Line 2G

    Sorcery

    Creatures you control can't be blocked this turn except by creatures with flying or reach.

    "Don't worry, I'm sure the carabiner can take that much weight."

    —Scootaloo

    "So Many Wonders" 2GG

    Enchantment — Song

    At the beginning of your upkeep, put a verse counter on "So Many Wonders".

    G, Sacrifice "So Many Wonders": Each player may put up to X permanent cards from his or her hand onto the battlefield, where X is the number of verse counters on "So Many Wonders".

    Enormous Geode 2

    Artifact

    Enormous Geode enters the battlefield tapped.

    At the beginning of your upkeep, put a charge counter on Enormous Geode.

    T, Sacrifice Enormous Geode: Add X mana in any combination of colors to your mana pool, where X is the number of charge counters on Enormous Geode.

    Cloud of Butterflies (gu)W

    Creature — Insect

    Flash

    Flying

    Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt to and dealt by Cloud of Butterflies.

    The magic of Kindness is expressed in more than just a necklace.

    0/2

    Urbane Sophistication 2WB

    Enchantment — Aura

    Enchant creature

    Extort (Whenever you cast a spell, you may pay (wb). If you do, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain that much life.)

    Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 and has extort.

    Covered in Tree Sap 2GU

    Instant

    Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt this turn. Creatures attacking player controls don't untap during that player's next untap step.

    "Not again."

    —Scootaloo

    Academy Proctors 3WU

    Creature — Unicorn Wizard

    Instant and sorcery spells you cast cost 1 less to cast.

    Instant and sorcery spells your opponents cast cost 1 more to cast.

    Celestia's academy is very selective. Only the best of the best make it in, and even they have to work for it.

    2/2

    Downtown Manehattan

    Land

    Downtown Manehattan enters the battlefield tapped.

    When Downtown Manehattan enters the battlefield, you gain 1 life.

    T: Add W or B to your mana pool.

    Rock Farm

    Land

    Rock Farm enters the battlefield tapped with three rock counters on it.

    T, Remove a rock counter from Rock Farm: Add 2 to your mana pool. If there are no rock counters on Rock Farm, sacrifice it.

    "There was no smiling, no laughter. Only rocks."

    —Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter

    14 comments · 132 views
  • ...
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Source

This story is a sequel to Elementals of Harmony

Ditzy Doo returns home one day to find an old friend waiting for her with dire news and a brain in a jar. With the latter, she will witness the answer to a pair of ominous questions: What if Jin-Gitaxias was a brony? What if New Phyrexia tried to invade Equestria?

As noted above, this is a sequel. Read the first story first, or little if anything will make sense. A certain level of gore and body horror will inevitably arise, given the nature of Phyrexia (For the card game illiterate: Like the Borg, but with more magic and much less attachment to the humanoid form.)

Now on hiatus pending a reboot.

First Published
2nd Jun 2012
Last Modified
9th Apr 2013

So, you decided to make this a story of its own. Me likey! :twilightsmile:

#2 · 125w, 5d ago · · · Incubation ·

I WAS planning to go to bed, but...

#3 · 125w, 5d ago · · · Incubation ·

Oh, boy. This isn't going to end well for Twilight when Unka Discord and his crew show up to inject a little chaos into New Phyrexia's order. (How very odd that I've just turned a character voiced by De Lancie into another Trek Icon: Janeway!!)

"I think we passed rude a long time ago."

It's times like this that I half-expect a pony version of Jethro Gibbs to show up and say "Ya think??"

#5 · 125w, 5d ago · · · Early Onset ·

Hmmm... perhaps if Ditzy really wanted to put a stop to this, she could get in touch with a large, metal person fond of saying two things:

1) Till All Are One

and

2) Freedom is the right of all sentient (and heavily-armed) beings.

#6 · 125w, 5d ago · · · Incubation ·

I saw this on the main page and all i saw was the picture and thought "Pyramid Head. time for a Silent Hill story" then i read the discription

#7 · 125w, 5d ago · 1 · · Incubation ·

An excellent chapter once again! I'm glad that I opted to read it before going to bed.

Also, thaliamancy made sense to me.

#8 · 125w, 5d ago · · · Incubation ·

ALL WILL BE ONE. HARMONY IS ALL.

#9 · 125w, 5d ago · · · Incubation ·

OH CHRIST HERE WE GO!

EDIT: Oh Jesus this is going to be even more epic than the last one, isn't it? I don't know if my body is ready.

#10 · 125w, 5d ago · · · Incubation ·

So is this just the chapters from 'Sideboard' or a continuation of the chapters from 'Sideboard' or what? :twilightsmile:

#11 · 125w, 5d ago · · · Incubation ·

Wait, what pumpkin?

(glad to see you read homestuck, it is awesome, this is awesome, & phyrexians are awesome)

(all will be one)

#12 · 125w, 5d ago · · · Incubation ·

Holy crap. The name of my story's Main Character's hometown is Praetor.

#13 · 125w, 5d ago · · · Incubation ·

>>686406 Does this mean future!Discord is going to go back in time and offer highly advanced technology designed to fight off the Phyrexians to his younger self, while also infecting himself with a virus designed to screw them over if he becomes compleated?

Wait, I'm writing the story. Why am I asking you? :rainbowhuh: :raritywink:

>>686436 The only problem with this is that 18-wheelers make for poor disguises in quasimedieval settings. Aside from that, this is awesome.

Also, if Prime ever were compleated, we could get the best of both worlds! Trukk and munky! :pinkiecrazy:

>>686541 :pinkiegasp: Really? Could you explain it to me? I'm just taking Pinkie's word for it.

What? I can't be the only one who's had the party pony as a coauthor, can I?

>>687050 The introduction and "Incubation" are new material. The other two chapters were in Sideboard. More are on the way, the next chapter being tentatively titled "Visible Symptoms."

>>687061 I am fairly certain that there were never any webcomic references in this story, and frankly the very idea strikes me as silly and nonsensical. :raritywink:

#14 · 125w, 5d ago · · · Incubation ·

>>690351

He'd be Transtech Optimus!

This doesn't look good...

Oh, crap. Time for somepony:derpyderp2: to layeth upon Twilight a smackdown. When the pony I have in mind does do so, it won't be by accident; she WILL understand what went wrong. :pinkiehappy::rainbowlaugh:

Jesus Spike is big...

>>686436 IDK... metallic lifeforms might get affected by phyrexia oil even faster than organic ones.

Twilight's gone off the deep end again... this is where everything goes to crap. Luna! Drop the moon!

#21 · 124w, 1d ago · · · Incubation ·

I love how you described red phyrexia.

Holy shit lagomorphs are boss.

Cadence demonstrates the true power of love. It probably won't work.

And Chaotic Celestia versus Phyrexian Twilight. Battle of the fucking millenium, that shit'll be crazy.

Oh, goody. The Elements of Chaos versus Compleated Twilight. This oughta good. Hey! Maybe Lauren will wake up and we can have some real fun!!

I hope Zecora is indeed planning on fighting Glissa, and is not leading Applejack into some trap.

Somepony purify Twilight already, before she suffers permanent mental damage? As is, she's already turning into another Locutus.

Also, wow that is an impressive rabbit culture there. Seriously.

That had been what had made her stop in the first place, the tattoo of only two hooves rather than four.

"Tattoo" isn't the right word here. I think you meant something more like "sound".

Also, a trillion Scovilles? Remind me to never go near that stuff. Most law enforcement grade pepper spray is under two billion.

>>785637 Tattoo. n. 2. A knocking or strong pulsation: My heart beat a tattoo on my ribs.

Your concern is appreciated, though.

>>785652

Huh. I've never encountered that definition before. You learn something new every day! :twilightsmile:

>>785671 Happy to be of assistance. :twilightsmile: Did you like the chapter?

>>785675

Oh yes, very much so. I must say that I'm very curious as to how far Pinkie will go towards the "darker" side of her Element, as it would seems that she isn't quite aware of how much the oil is having an effect on her.

by Luna The blight dragon in Equestria.

Is that... The blight dragon? Uh, one point for the invasion.

And oral holocaust, from now on I want to use this term.

And Trixie, you have no idea what you're getting yourself into. It really seems like the forces of good are taking a few more hits than they can handle. Although, Pumpkin's been keeping the narrative focus off of whatever decisive macguffin they're cooking up. Who knows.

Ohhhh dear....

Well, geeze. One one hand, Iambic Heptameter Zecora and the KoL shoutout made me squee. But on another, I just really dislike your giga-Flanderized supergod-planeswalker-genre-savvy-Discord's-mom Pinkie.

Oh I love everything about this story. Everything.

Now excuse me while I pick up the latest Magic game on steam.

OH my head... I'm not sure which part of this story I like more. It's all so magnificently funny and awesome... Did you distill TTGL and mix it with Magic and MLP or something!?

>>785877 >>785977

Yup, that'd be ol' Skittles himself. His handler's mind got eaten by one Sheoldred's paperweights, so Urabrask has had him on retainer for a bit. At least, he has for the sake of the story.

>>787058

Writing Zecora's dialogue is always something of an adventure, given that I actually care about keeping some kind of meter. I figured "anxiety = more elaborate rhyming schemes" would make a good excuse for... well, more elaborate rhyming schemes. :derpytongue2:

Sorry you don't like Pinkie. (On the other hand, if I didn't make her the ridiculous being she is, how else could I have fit in the Loathingarian reference? :raritywink:) Rest assured, though, the other Thanes are by no means going to be a cakewalk. Blowing up Ish Sah kind of blew the element of surprise along with it.

>>789890 >>792206

Thank you both. :pinkiehappy: As for the matter of blending ponies, mana, and Spiral Energy, I don't believe I did, though there is that one scene in chapter 17 of Elementals of Harmony where Luna decides to, and I quote, "kick pity to the curve and move beyond the regrettable.":trixieshiftright:

>>797843 true but I would suspect the hidden to send a moltensteel dragon instead.

No, I'd say this story already has a fairly large amount of 'authorial bull-honkery'.

I'm not sure if this counts as abuse of the fourth wall or not...

>>914259 I'm preeeetty sure that the fourth wall was sodomized in this chapter...

...

with a jackhammer...

...

and nitroglycerin.

Why not Specimens # 28 and 142? :trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:

'Trixie Hobbitses':facehoof:

"I don't think she's being corrupted, Shining. I think the corruption's getting Sparkled."
Yes, Phyrexian oil does have a way of making you think you're beating it, doesn't it?

Would that be Archchancellor Riddle Cruller?

>>1020552 In order:

*Because specimen 28 had a nasty tendency to cease to exist before the first incision could be made. (Also, since Besieged was the second set, I added 249 [the number of cards in Scars] to the Commando's collector's number.)

*That's been her name since Elementals of Harmony. :ajsmug:

*No comment at this time. :scootangel:

*Maaaaaybe. :trollestia:

>Trixie Hobbitses

The plot thickens! So many threads to keep track of. Also nice to see Steven Magnet kick some ass. I love that guy.

Hmmm, judging from this chapter, methinks that when Twilight learns that the hot stallion didn't really care about her and was using her as a vector to spread the Oil, Phyrexia will learn the fury of a mare scorned...

Weeeee update. :)

I counted 2 references to Discworld in a casual glance (weatherwaxed vamperism and the arch archchancellor). There may be more I missed.

Not sure if Skitecrafter could get past the rules committee.  But a clever card idea.

I have read many stories on this site, but yours is the first that I have been compelled enough to comment on that I had to make an account. And that comment is... Trixie Hobbitses. You magnificent bastard. That has to be the best name for any character I have ever seen, and I love you for it. :twilightsmile:

That is all.

So Rainbow Dash now has permanent Magefire Wings? Nice.

Jin-Gitaxias has direly underestimated Twilight Sparkle. She isn't pure Blue; she's Izzet-style Blue-Red (Izzet brains and Izzet boilers: contents under pressure!). She has a much larger capacity for raw destruction than Gitaxias is anticipating, and once she realizes that his goals are incompatible with hers and are inflexible, she will unleash that destructive potential.

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