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totallynotabrony 5822116

Joined February 2012
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    totallynotabrony's Stories (58)


    Bruce Lee didn't die.  He just went to a land of magical ponies.  Then he solved all their problems.

    First Published
    30th May 2012
    Last Modified
    18th Apr 2013

    Comments ( 94 )

    #1 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Well... There's this.

    #2 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    :yay:

    #3 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Needs more Bruce Lee.

    #4 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Does this take place before or after he jumps to the moon?

    I like this :yay:

    #6 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    This... seems legit.

    #7 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Dear Princess Celestia,

    Today I learned that Bruce Lee is the baddest mother that ever lived.

    Your Faithful Student,

    Twilight Sparkle :twilightblush:

    #8 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>670755 you only learned this now?

    #9 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>670769

    I was merely speculating on the aftermath of this "Episode".

    #10 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    I find this story to be highly inaccurate. I refuse to even consider the notion that Bruce would simply knock these creatures unconscious, as opposed to killing them with a single glorious blow.

    Really, though, this is pretty much the best thing ever. What really makes  me smile is the fact that not only could Bruce easily do a one-armed pull up, but that I could totally see him reading a book while doing it.

    I'd love to see more of this, if ever you continued this!

    #11 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>670741

    DRMCNINJA / MLP CROSSOVER MAKE IT HAPPEN

    #12 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Urrr... uhhhh.... I feel like I should say something clever....

    ... DOUGHNUTS!!!!!:rainbowhuh:

    #13 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>670797

    HOLY CRAP WHY IS THIS NOT A THING YET?

    #14 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Geez. He's almost as much of a Sue as Lone Star is.

    #15 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Hehehehehehehe I got nuthin'

    #16 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    BWAH!!

    #17 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    The only legit Gary Stu.

    #18 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    "who knew you could just beat evil out of somepony?” :rainbowlaugh:

    Best line is best.

    >>670735

    Yeah it does. It needs more of him being ridiculously awesome.

    #20 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    This could have been really dark and sad. If you had used this scenario:

    "What would Bruce like as gift?"

    Bruce: "To see my wife and son again."

    Let's face it Bruce is great and all but Brandon Lee could do the martial arts and he could act better.

    I'd like to see that sequel fic. On a lighter note this fic was great and it was nice to have a straight up comedy fic instead of some poorly wriiten troll fic. Also this :

    Peace Out.

    #21 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    #22 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Ahahahah... so brilliant.

    #23 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Bruce Lee is so amazing that Discord did not even try to unseal himself and cause chaos. He just looked at the statue and it crumbled into pieces.

    #24 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >Beat the evil out of somebody... fucking brilliant! Good story, nice human pick.

    #25 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    I see the feature box. I called it.

    #26 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    And then Chuck Norris came to Equestria.

    There was a fight...

    There is no more Equestria.

    #27 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Jumping Jehoshaphat batman! Now I've seen everything....EVERYTHING

    #29 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    I guess Chuck Norris is going to be the villain in the sequel.

    #30 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    That was to funny. Loved this. hahaha

    #31 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>671184 And then Bruce snapped Chuck's arm.

    #32 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>671336 Yup. Not even the end of the world stops them.

    #33 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    That was amazing. I got a really good laugh from this. :rainbowlaugh:

    #34 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    It wasn`t the writing so much as the concept that had me intrigued. Now lets bring on the Ursas!:moustache:

    wat
    #35 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    [img}BLAH[/img]

    #36 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    You just neglected to individually describe their cutie marks. Heh. Anyway, you just don't slow down huh? Keep on throwing random things our way!:twilightsmile:Here's one for you. Fran Drescher. Watch as she torments the Diamond dogs

    #37 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    He was banished to the moon...he jumped back.

    #38 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Short and great.

    #39 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Shaolin - Anarchy Club

    >>670819

    Bruce Lee was a real life Gary Stu, lets not kid ourselves.

    >>671249

    That's already been settled, dude.

    #40 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Too funny.

    #41 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    I smell an upcoming feature...

    #42 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    interesting clip. :twilightblush:

    #43 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>671643

    388 views before exiting the front page?

    Maybe. :moustache:

    #44 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Oh, thank you, good Sir. That was a thoroughly entertaining read.:moustache:

    Strange thing is, I could imagine Bruce saying something like that at the end :twilightblush:

    #45 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 3d ago · · ·
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    Wow... Holy Celestia man. I kind of saw the ending coming, but it was still funny.

    Also, Chuck Norris would get his ass kicked by Bruce Lee. <----- Obligatory Chuck Norris comment since you said not to.

    #47 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 2d ago · · ·
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    #48 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Nice story! Short and sweet! Even chuck norris approves!

    #49 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 2d ago · · ·
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    #50 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 2d ago · · ·
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    YEP

    #51 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 2d ago · · ·
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    I'm wearing a Bruce Lee shirt right now.

    I HAVE TO READ THIS.

    #52 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 2d ago · · ·
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    (whispers) Bruce Lee... (take a big ol drink form cola and then realizes) (Spray of soda) BRUCE LEE!?!?

    #53 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 2d ago · · ·
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    This is hilarious and fantastic.  Your efficient writing style is SUCH a breath of fresh air after so many chronically overwritten stories.  Very good.  :raritywink:

    #54 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>675450

    Sometimes I've been called too efficient.  This one time, I teleported a US battleship to Equestria, fought a multinational war that centered around dragons vs. zebras, and got the ship home, all within 16,000 words.

    #55 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>675463  You sound like my kind of author.  Don't apologize for efficiency; I think overwriting is the bane of this community.  Too many stories will go on for pages without anything happening, or spend so much time describing every single detail that I feel jerked around.

    You made an excellent call starting out the story with Bruce Lee already established in Equestria, instead of being like, Chapter 1: Bruce Wakes Up: "Where Am I?"  This is a good short story, and I find that when it comes to ponies, bite-sized is right-sized.  Favorited and watched.

    And now, in order to totally contradict myself, I invite you to check out my own grossly-overwritten story.  :raritywink:  I did try to be brief, I promise.

    #56 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 2d ago · · ·
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    (Chuck Norris is waiting at the door):trollestia:

    #57 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 2d ago · · ·
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    awseomness

    #58 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 2d ago · · ·
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    How the hell did I forget to vote this up?

    *Votes up with extreme prejudice*

    #59 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Son: dad why are there so many chuck norris jokes but no bruce lee jokes?

    Dad: because son, Bruce Lee is not a joke...

    That is all...:moustache:

    #60 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 2d ago · · ·
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    There should be not be a dislike button. Those 11 dislikes should not exist.

    #61 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Mustn't... vote... up...

    Ah, dammit. That ending was actually pretty sweet. I like little one-shots like this. Ones that actually invest themselves in the joke.

    #62 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 2d ago · · ·
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    This is the best HiE story to ever exist. :derpyderp1:

    #63 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Awesome...just awesome.  

    :ajsmug:

    #64 · Chapter 1 · 50w, 1d ago · · ·
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    brilliant

    #65 · Chapter 1 · 49w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>670940

    I WANT THIS TO HAPPEN.

    DO A REWRITE. I COMMAND YOU.

    #66 · Chapter 1 · 49w, 6d ago · · ·
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    >>675497

    Well it really depends on what kind of author you attempt to emulate. Like me, I emulate Paleo Prints and Michael Crichton, so getting you involved with the characters and describing the details is a very important factor.

    #68 · Chapter 1 · 49w, 5d ago · · ·
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    Brain.app has quit unexpectedly.

    #69 · Chapter 1 · 49w, 3d ago · · ·
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    ...I'm converting from Norrisism to The Way of Lee.

    ...converted.

    :pinkiehappy: :pinkiegasp: :pinkiecrazy: :pinkiesmile: :twilightsmile:

    THAT WAS AWESOME!

    #70 · Chapter 1 · 49w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>670797

    WHY DOES THIS NOT EXIST

    #71 · Chapter 1 · 48w, 3d ago · · ·
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    >>670797

    GODDAMMIT SOMEONE WHO HAS WRITING TALENT WRITE THIS

    I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER IF YOU DO

    DO IT NAO

    #72 · Chapter 1 · 48w, 23h ago · · ·
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    That was awewome. Nuff said.

    #73 · Chapter 1 · 47w, 6d ago · · ·
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    Your genius knows no bounds, good sir.

    #74 · Chapter 1 · 47w, 5d ago · 1 · ·
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    The only man who beat the shit out of chuck Norris

    Aru
    #75 · Chapter 1 · 47w, 2d ago · · ·
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    #76 · Chapter 1 · 43w, 6d ago · · ·
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    I've got a question about the Manticore bit. Which pressure points did he hit? From what I can remember, there are at-least 365 pressure points in the body. Well for a Manticore, I don't know how many pressure points there are in THAT body so can you specify please? Above or under the diaphragm? :rainbowhuh:  

    #77 · Chapter 1 · 41w, 7h ago · · ·
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    SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL!

    #78 · Chapter 1 · 31w, 5h ago · · ·
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    who knew you could just beat evil out of somepony?

    I think Nanoha knows that's possible.

    #79 · Chapter 1 · 19w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>916405

    Obviously, he struck it in the Shīzi Xiàng Xià point. :twistnerd: :derpytongue2:

    #80 · Chapter 1 · 7w, 4d ago · · ·
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    >>916405 I'm betting it;s temple

    #81 · Chapter 2 · 4w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Huh, I kind of wonder why this didn't appear in the "updated stories" list.

    #82 · Chapter 2 · 4w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Holy shit, welcome back Bruce.

    JZ1
    #83 · Chapter 2 · 4w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Laughing so hard... Can't type.:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

    >>2447123

    It did show up, just not right away.

    #84 · Chapter 2 · 4w, 2d ago · · ·
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    >>2447123

    I see it.

    Then I read this chapter.

    My eyes melted from so much awesome.

    Now I'm blinded by its majesty. Well done.

    #85 · Chapter 2 · 4w, 2d ago · · ·
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    If I could give you more than just one fav and one thumb up, I would give you at least a thousand of them. I like your disagree with Twilicorn and the way it reflected in this chapter. I laughed very hard.

    #86 · Chapter 2 · 4w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Hey, man, MA Larson's provided lots of good episodes. The finale wasn't his fault.

    #87 · Chapter 2 · 4w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Well, someone is grumpy about MMC.

    #88 · Chapter 2 · 4w, 2d ago · · ·
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    Too awesome, that there's no blatant Chuck Norris comments yet.

    Lots of explosions... Michael Bay?

    #89 · Chapter 2 · 4w, 1d ago · · ·
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    I just realized that the image is actually a bad photoshop. :facehoof:

    #90 · Chapter 2 · 4w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Wow, I didn't think I'd ever see another chapter of this!

    And yeah, this would totally be possible.  Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee combined can do anything.

    No force in the universe could possibly stop them both! too much awesomeness!

    #91 · Chapter 2 · 4w, 1d ago · · ·
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    Dafuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuqwat?

    #92 · Chapter 2 · 4w, 1d ago · · ·
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    This actually updated?

    Wild.

    #93 · Chapter 2 · 4w, 1d ago · 1 · ·
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    Miles away, in the city of Canterlot, Princess Luna popped a surprise wingboner so hard the castle exploded.

    Lost my shit :rainbowlaugh:

    Good 2nd chapter.

    #94 · Chapter 2 · 4w, 1d ago · · ·
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    I am ashamed of the blatant lack of Chuck Norris jokes. I shall rectify that situation. Chuck Norris does not come to your universe,  your universe comes to Chuck Norris. Actually, that sounds like a bad "in Soviet Russia" joke.

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