Applejack mourns the loss of one of the last 67,986 links she had to her dead father.
(Contains spoilers for "Made in Manehattan.")
Audiobook versions:
Scarlett Blade
L1ghtningRunn3r
Now with a Spanish translation by Spaniard Kiwi!
Chapters (1)
Skywriter
Joined 17th Jan, 2012 ·
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...I love you.
Also:
This killed me. I died reading this. I am typing this while dead. With fingers made of ghosts.
Fuck.
...
You win the freakin' internet for today, and it's only 26 past midnight. XD XD XD
"So hot," it said, in its weird Northern monkey-tongue.
Applejack + Rarity shipping, I suppose?
It's very late and I've had a couple of drinks and I can't tell if that makes this better or worse
You know, I was waiting for a story like this since last Saturday.
You did not disappoint.
Huzzah!
Bwahahahahaha!
Where do I begin?
Well, first of all, you do realise that 67986 hats is enough for Pa to wear one every day for 186.26 years?
But perhaps he wore a different merely every hour, so 7.7 years (well, let's divide that by 2/3, since one assume Honey Badger would... dislike... him changing hats duirng sleep, so 11.5 years.)
"Ass" in "Asperger's Syndrome." I would find a newspaper or something to hit you with for that level of word play, but unfortunately I appear to be to be incapacitated due to laughing too hard.
The whole flashback, in fact. Glorious! I didn't know you had that level of dark humour in you!
This, though: "executing the capricious whims of an unspeaking, unfeeling artifact of Harmony and all" knocked it out of the park, though.
Superlative and stupendous work, and exactly the sort of thing to delightfully find before retiring to meditate for the night.
6482384
Obviously, the statement is a precursor to the breezie warning AJ and Rarity that there's a fire. He's just doing his job!
6482423
Good point. Still makes it sound like the breezy thinks they look hot together tho.
Well. You've done it again, Sky.
Bravo.
...Huh. :D
6482376
I came here to say literally these exact words.
The ones Bookish said, not the ones I typed. Though I guess in the grand scheme of things I technically came here to say literally these exact words.
Amazing.
> Breezie smoke detectors
Headcanon accepted.
Well, that was delightful on numerous levels. Thank you both for a hilarious read and making me feel less guilty about a stupid story of my own I have planned.
I nearly had the restaurantstaff calling an ambulance for me at that line!
I had just taken a bite out of this 1 lb black pepper Cajun & blue cheese burger when I read that...
This is absolutely insane. And I love it.
Besides, Rarity if anypony would understand and appreciate the importance of having an abundance of hats.
This is some fine crack. But I wonder now what the property tax on hats comes to.
This is ridiculous
I love it
This is why you are awesome.
~Skeeter The Lurker
We were all thinking it.
Welp.
6482937
Eeyup.
Oh Sky, you're so silly. Please never change.
Are you proud of yourself?
Because you should be.
Also
I lost it here.
Finally! I nearly spit my teeth out when AJ's hat got shredded. It's about time this tragedy was recognized.
Also, this was freakin hilarious. So deliciously irreverent I loved it.
6482376
sorry about ur life
6483164
s'fine i didn't have much of one to begin with
I see that someone got into the liquor cabinet.
I can clearly see the Charme of the earth pony way, stupid unicorns don't understand apple family traditions.
Delightfully, frothingly, burstingly, perfectly insane, borderline-irreverent, and tragicomedic. An irreducible fusion of outlandishness and grounded profundity.
There may be enough thanks for this, but getting them all in a reasonable length of time may involve tetration.
No sequence of words in the english language could ever adequately describe the madness that is this story. Just... just take the upvote
The smoke detector breezie by itself was enough to justify this story being written. Everything else was just a nice bonus.
6483863
WON'T SOMEPONY THINK OF THE POOR FIREFLIES
67,986 hats off to you, Skywriter.
This was either clever in the stupidest of ways, or stupid in the cleverest of ways, and I'll get back to you when I work out which.
Well that was a thing.
I am entertained.
6484475
I had few higher goals than that.
200 years later, Littlepip has a crush on Velvet Remedy and steals Homage's heart.
This is amusing.
I laughed at the absurd joke, then again when the story actually went with it.
You see, the smoke detectors also double as sprinklers.
"Smoke detectin's a good job, mate. Easy work, indoors, and I'll guarantee you'll not go hungry. Cause at the end of the day, long as there's a house left on the planet, somepony's gonna want to set it on fire."
And this is what happens when you filter My Little Pony through tequila and Invader Zim.
I laughed several times, and that rarely happens. Good on ya!
Smoke detector waving back? Dafuq. Concept of breezie smoke detectors? Hilarious. Smoke detector shipping Rarijack? Priceless.
It also raises some interesting questions about the rights of breezies and where they fall on the 'are they people?' tree, since I assume a fair few of them get to be passive bystanders to... events.
As an Asp myself, I am NOT morally outraged by this joke! I am, however, now desperately in need of someone to tell me if my butt is nice, because otherwise it might be a really long time before I get to use this joke in 'polite' conversation.
Was... all of that for tax reasons? Or is it just what Fillyjack did when she heard the news?
6484814
Pony scientists are at a loss to explain or even understand the totality of the catastrophe known as the Night of Knives.
I suspect Skywriter is trying to tell us something. Perhaps that he doesn't like maudlin stories about hats.
What.
...
What.
6484836
It would render me a bit of a hypocrite since I've got at least two stories where the plot point features prominently.
6484856 Only a bit. I don't recall any fics where you went full-on SadHat, but maybe it's buried in Contraptionology somewhere. An excuse to re-read! Why not.
6484826 So, this?
Also, I now have the urge to try and write the Night of Knives.
If Breezies are smoke detectors, what other things are going on? Are breezies equipped with tiny tin can telephones used as cradle monitors for new parents? Are the fireflies in firefly lamps sapient creatures? Is there a labor union? Can they go on strike? How are they paid? So many questions. Isn't it Wonderful!
6484951
I think I have basically just introduced Flintstones Tech, yes.