• Member Since 14th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 26th, 2022

DragonShadow


The home of the Shadowbolts Adventures and various other stories, mostly related to Equestria Girls.

Sequels1

E

Lemon Zest is on her way to a friend's house when she runs into another girl lost in her headphones from her rival school Canterlot High... but do they really have to be enemies?

Special thanks to Bootsy Slickmane for his slick cover art.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 27 )

...

This needs to be an animation. Honestly, I don't think mere text can do this justice. :rainbowderp:

Part of the reason I say this is because, well, you chose to tell the story solely through the actions of the characters. There's very little introspection and practically no dialogue. It's perfectly fine to tell a story that way, but through text? I dunno, it just doesn't have the same impact. :applejackunsure:

That's not to say the story is bad by any means. It's nice that you made a connection between Vinyl and Lemon Zest through their love of blaring music on their headphones. I just think an animation would've conveyed the story better. :duck:

6478706

Believe me, I agree, but lacking animation software or talent, this is really my only creative outlet.

Awesome, you should do more of these

"Her legs twitched and tapped a bit harder on the cement than she intended to" this has a strange rhythm to it (I mentally rearrange it to say 'tapped a bit harder than she intended to on the cement') and I honestly can't tell you why.
"blue hair striped in different shades, and a pair of ruby red shades" the two different uses of 'shades' here struck me as funny ^__^

Vinyl initiating their closeness is a sweet touch - something so expected of a Wondercolt.
there's a certain pulsating energy about the brand of repetition at work here, Lemon Zest and Vinyl Scratch do a lot of the same motions using the same words (or conjugations of those words), but because of the nature of their interaction, it didn't become redundant.

the sparing use of facial expressions and dialogue truly brought out the frenetic enthusiasm palpable from both characters in their motions. (I really liked Lemon's surprise at Vinyl's grin; it made me believe her own grin later would've caught her off-guard if she thought about it).

I would love to see someone animate this story, but I honestly found it enchanting on its own

Nice! I went looking for this pairing after I noticed Lemon Zest and Vinyl apparently talking together in the background after the climax of the film, somewhere around where SciTwi decides to go to CHS. Can't find a screenshot, but you can see it.

This was interesting. I've been looking for a story with any of CPA's Shadobolts, and this was an enjoyable read. Specially since there was next to no dialogue, everything was said through actions. Certainly a mark of a good writer.

I look forward to reading more "Shadowbolts Adventures"

6501694 I'm afraid that was in the deleted alternate ending.

6521480

It was more prominent there, but they could still be seen in the background of one shot in the final version. I actually did not know that when I wrote this story, but hey, it already exists.

6521511 Hm, interesting. To be fair, I didn't see the movie more than once as a whole yet because I am still waiting to get my hands on an uncut high quality version.

This certainly was a nice little story and I'm glad I've finally found the time to read more of this series. However, i would agree with 'Metool Bard' on how sometimes, some things are better in animation and don't have the same impact when written down. This isn't to say you did it in a bad way. Quite the contrary, I thought this was really cute how they started to dance together, but since this isn't animation, we can't 'see' them doing this.

A part of me thinks that this could have used some more 'inner workings' and feelings, somethings that wouldn't be stated in an animation and implied there, can be worked on and built here. Overall, this was a cute little dabble and I'm glad you're continuing this series.

Thank you. Now i ship it. Hard.

Vinyl is shown to talk to Lemon so a mutual friendship isn't far from this.

Gods help me, my first thought as I read this was "lesbian courtship ritual," and then my terrible, wonderful brain turned it into this odd scenario where someone follows them with a camera as they dance and narrates it like a nature documentary.

7104148

All things considered, neither interpretation is entirely wrong.

Has anyone TRIED to animate this? Cause if not, i might just give it a go

This was one deep rabbit hole of " This story is a sequel to" I didn't think it was ending.

Finds The Shadowbolts Adventures.
"Oh, it's a sequel, and it's a sequel as well! Good, I like long series!"
A few minutes later.
"Damn, you were busy..."

8237008
So, how's it going?

8262727
*shrugs* its going, thought id brush up on my art skills a little first though

Hmm, the mating dance of this species is quite intricate.

The series could use the Shadowbolts (EGq) tag, if you so desire.

Beautiful... I was actually expecting them to kiss at the end due to the way they were dancing. I mean it got real intimate at the end there.

Huh, cool bonding here.

I finally found the beginning!
Jeeze all these stories XD

Finally gotten around to this one. And HOLY CRAP that was awesome!

Now I ship it!

Login or register to comment