A Dog and Pony Show
"Enough! Search, pony!"
The grating, gravely voice of Rover—although she certainly hadn't cared to ask for his name—had long since gotten on Rarity's nerves. It had been quite a while since the Diamond Dogs had dragged her underground, and while she had been pretty terrified at first, her keen wit had allowed her to come up with a plan to get them off of her back...much like she wished she could do with the harness they'd placed on her. For now, though, the harness would stay. It was integral to make the Diamond Dogs think they had the power before showing them that they were woefully mistaken.
"Well, since you insist..." Rarity said coyly. "But I must say the working conditions in here are simply dreadful. Musty and damp, it's going to wreak havoc on my mane. And this air is stifling, suffocating. And when I try to take a deep breath, the stench of all you dogs makes me nauseated." She tried to remain the picture of nonchalance as she went on, wanting so badly to grin as she tricked a group of dogs into dropping rocks on themselves but knowing that feigned ignorance would pay off in the end.
"You look and smell like you haven't bathed in weeks," Rarity continued. "Have you never heard of soap? You could all do with a good round of soap and water. Oh water, oh water, I'm terribly thirsty. Could I please have some water?"
"Good gracious, I can't take this anymore," Spot groaned. "Be quiet, pony!"
"And that's another thing," Rarity said haughtily. "I would appreciate if you stopped calling me 'pony.' I am a lady and I wish to be addressed as such. So you may call me 'Miss' or 'Rarity' or 'Miss Rarity.'"
"Enough!" Rover shouted "Your whining! It-it-it hurts!" Like a seasoned fencer, Rarity caught the opening and seized it.
"Whining?" Rarity asked flatly "I am not whining. I am complaining. Do you want to hear whining?" She took a brief moment to prepare, enjoying the worried looks on the dogs' faces, before throwing herself headlong into the role. "Thiiis iiis whiiining! Oooh, this harness is too tiiight! It's going to chafe. Can't you loosen it? Oooh, it hurts and it's sooo ruuusty! Why didn't you clean it first? It's gonna leave a staaain! And the wagon's getting heeeavy! Why do I have to pull it?!" Rarity made a little hop in the air to accentuate her last question. Actions were just as important as words, if not more so.
"Aaah! Make it stop!" Spot cried, covering his ears.
"Stop whining!" Rover insisted.
"But I thought you waaanted whiiining!" Rarity whined, stomping her front hooves. She idly thought back to her old drama teacher and how he said she was prone to overacting. If he could see her now...
"Geh!" Rover groaned. "We'll do anything, pony!" A glare from Rarity made him recoil. "Oh, uh, uh, we'll do anything, 'Miss Rarity.'" He laughed nervously at the idea of causing another whining fit.
"Anything?" Rarity asked dreamily.
"Hold on a minute."
All heads turned to the nearest tunnel as Sugarcoat walked onto the scene.
"Sugarcoat?" Rarity asked. "How in Equestria did you get here?"
"I fell," Sugarcoat said plainly. "You know, it's really not nice to manipulate others."
"What?" Rarity said, shocked. "You're taking their side?"
"I'm just telling it like it is," Sugarcoat replied. Then she turned to the Diamond Dogs. "Are you going to let a pony boss you around like this just because she's loud and annoying?"
"Miss Rarity is not bossing us!" Rover insisted. "We are in charge!"
"Yet you're calling her Miss Rarity like she owns you," Sugarcoat stated. "How could you be this dumb?" The dogs began to murmur to each other, and Rarity stared at Sugarcoat in shock as her plans looked to fall apart around her.
"You're right!" Spot shouted. "We are in charge, pony! Pull the wagon!"
"But..." Rarity stammered, trying to regain control. She quickly snapped back into whining. "It's so heavy and..."
"Just put a muzzle on her," Sugarcoat said.
"Of course!" Rover responded. "Why didn't we think of that?"
"Because you're stupid," Sugarcoat told them. They ignored her as Rover quickly clamped a muzzle over Rarity's mouth, fastening it behind her head. The muted unicorn squealed through it, giving Sugarcoat a death glare as she was prodded and forced to start pulling.
"And now we will get our work done much faster," Rover said with a grin, as the dogs moved closer to Sugarcoat. "Now that we have two ponies..."
~~~~~~~~~~
It had taken quite a bit of trial and error, as well as a bit of confrontation with some particularly nasty dogs, but Twilight and company were sure that they'd finally found the right path this time. Led by Spike riding on Twilight's back, the group charged into the cavern, ding face to face with Rover, Spot, and Fido. They stared at the dogs angrily before Spike noticed a muzzled Rarity looking miserable behind them. Thinking quickly, Spike launched himself over Twilight's head. The dogs tried to grab him, but his leap was too mighty, propelled by the need to save his damsel in distress.
"Get him!" Rover shouted. The dogs attempted to converge on Spike, but the ponies sprang into action. Applejack used a piece of rope she'd gotten from the dogs they'd confronted to tie up Fido's feet, and Fluttershy made sure to tie it nice and tight so he could be easily reeled in. Pinkie Pie bounced in front of Spot, distracting him just long enough to allow Rainbow to tackle him to the ground. As for Rover, he was quickly incapacitated by Twilight's magic and pulled straight up to her face.
"Diamond Dogs," Twilight said sternly. "I feel I should inform you that I am the prized student of Princess Celestia, and these are my friends and her bearers of the Elements of Harmony that you're dealing with. If you'd like to enter a war against our people, then by all means, keep doing what you're doing. I, however, would advise against it." Rover gulped slightly as he struggled in Twilight's magical grasp.
"Fine! You win!" Rover cried. "You can even take some of our jewels!"
"Good choice," Twilight said with a smile. "We make better friends than enemies."
Meanwhile. Spike leapt onto Rarity's back. He quickly unfastened her muzzle, letting it drop to the ground before grabbing either side of the harness. With a mighty pull, he hefted the heavy harness from her back, letting it clatter to the ground.
"My hero!" Rarity swooned. She lit her horn up and pulled Spike in front of her, squealing happily. Spike began to breathe heavily, preparing to deliver a suave line that would capture his lady's heart. However, staring into her eyes proved to be counterproductive.
"B-bwuh..." Spike stammered. Rarity giggled softly and gently turned his head, placing a delicate kiss on his cheek. With that, the mighty, manly savior instantly fainted into Rarity's forelegs. Rarity rolled her eyes and smiled, carefully depositing Spike on her back and joining the group.
"Go on then," Rover insisted to Twilight. "Take both of them!"
"Both?" a confused Twilight asked. It was just then that Sugarcoat walked out from behind a pillar, harness still on her back.
"I'm keeping this harness," Sugarcoat said as she stepped past the dogs. "I like it." Twilight just shrugged as she led the group and their treasure out of the room.
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This makes me think that Sugarcoat has the potential to become a supervillain with the right manipulation and words.
That is a scary thought.
No part of this surprises me. Sugarcoat's plan is building up! Or she just likes the harness.
Nice to see that Twilight is okay.
Cute, but Sugarcoat seems kind of stupid, maybe even a bit cruel in this chapter. This went a bit beyond being blunt, seeing as how she was advising Rarity's slavers.
Then again, maybe she just wanted the harnass...
6530275 also i got the feeling that sugarcoar really really dislikes rarity
Why is Twilight back to the living?
6530275
Seems to me like Sugarcoat's role is just finding anyone in the series who - at that point - is holding an idiot ball and trying to knock it out of their hands.
I'm honestly not surprised to see her advising a villain.
Rover: ...that was our favorite harness.
Okay, Twilight is alright! I hope Rarity had enough gems to complete the outfits for Sapphire Shores (I always thought she had more than enough in the actual episode)! Okay, which episode is next? "Green Isn't Your Color"? Oh, boy!
That harness taught.
6530275 maybe its for bigmac!
Sugarcoat is channeling Kimi Sparkle again. She really does hate Rarity. Maybe she will set her up with Blueblood.
Twilight's alive! Yay!
6530465
"Discord, why are you playing around when you could have beaten them already?"
"Chrysalis, why didn't you kill Cadence and dump her body in a river somewhere?"
6530886
Basically.
6530518
For Mac Tonight courtesy Sugarcoat. She will find what button to press with the strong silent guy eventually.
Hm.
So, Sugarcoat is into bondage?
I can only imagine what she has in store for Big Mac
Wow. Fifteen thousand words even. It's almost a shame to wreck that. . . . Almost.
Sugarcoat is into BDSM, canon-confirmed. (But not that 50 Shades BS, ugh)
If she's keeping it because SHE likes it, and it presumably fits HER, as opposed to a larger harness...Big Mac, you lucky lucky dog/pony
#1 Somebody please explain to me WHY Twilight is no longer a statue!
#2 I think Sugarcoat prefer Sparity to RariJack. Or maybe she just doesn't like Rarity and she's into bondage.
6530275 I guess it's because she actually wanted to make her friends' rescue an actual rescue instead of a pick-up.
Oh god the implications...
They should have left Sugarcoat with the Diamond Dogs, because she was a bitch in this chapter.
6652507 I'm going to guess someone ("one" because it could well have been Spike) noticed she was missing and asked Sugarcoat if she'd seen her, and Sugarcoat, being Sugarcoat...
"Oh, she's been literally petrified in the Everfree Forest for the past few hours. ...What? I can't do anything about it."
For a minute there, I was honestly thinking this series was going to go a different way and eliminate the Mane 6 one by one...Twilight petrified, Sugarcoat and Rarity used as pit ponies, etc. That series might be worth writing.