This story is a sequel to Equine, All Too Equine
In the city which has not seen an alicorn for a hundred years, a rumour spreads.
"Fifty bits and I'll get ya a bone of one. No? Okay, call it forty and I'll throw a free trinket on top."
The price varies along with the body part in question, but not enough so to make a bucketload of difference. However, there's also another rumour in the air. There's no words for it; no price; no haggling.
All there is to it is the burnt smell of a martyr's flesh.
Proofread by ponygrad. Massive thanks!
Chapters (7)
Glad to see this story continued. I got hopes for this one.
6451955 Me too!
I am so hyped right now / * } \
\ 0 * } /
I see Stick has been busy.
I certainly agree with 6451955 here. Looking forward to seeing where this goes.
6459110
6455630
It's great to have readers such as you. Just great.
And a Alicorn I am guessing is now here.
I dunno.
Every been in a completely silent room? It is bloody unnerving.
That bit really chills me. It is one thing to know academically that society is "9 meals from anarchy", but quite another to see it approaching with the awful inevitability of a lorry barrelling down a hill with no breaks.
To paraphrase a quote:
"Loyalty gets repaid with honour. Honour does not always keep someone alive."
Absolutely not Sir! I was merely verifying its quality to ensure it had not gone off.
"Verifying the quality"?! You drank half the bottle last time!
Merely ensuring I tested a statistically significant sample, Sir! Your health is our primary concern. Doubly so now that you are our de-facto ruler.
Many people are familiar with l'esprit d'escalier / treppenwitz, the predicament of coming up with a witty rejoinder too late. It occurs to me that there really is not a word for the opposite problem: having a perfectly witty quip prepared and ready and available but never getting a good opportunity to use it.
(I certainly would want to know if such a word/phrase exists in any language...)
Oh bloody hell. Mr. Gruff is making an appearance here too?! He is is definitely creepy squick.
If this was a different genre of story, I could see this starting an Abbot & Costello type shtick:
You can call me "Just Bolt"
Right. So Mr. Bolt, if you would please enlighten me as to what—
No. Not just "Bolt". Please call me "Just Bolt"
That is what I just said. Just "Bolt"
No. You just called me "Bolt". I just want to be called "Just Bolt"
That is what I bloody just said. I only said just "Bolt"!
No. You just said just "Bolt", not "Just Bolt"
!@#$%!!!
As much as I sympathise with Heart, that sounds like an absolutely terrible idea what with the leadership in gridlock and the city a few months away from starvation.
I wonder if Heart realises the city is one demagogue cult of personality away from an oppressive, totalitarian junta... Currently he seems to be the pony holding everything from descending into anarchy.
6491723
Depends on how well acquainted one is with one's heartbeat and breathing, I suppose.
Hey look, a new project!
He'll come to face the dilemma sooner rather than later, I should say...
ohgodit'shim
6530860 When two or more people quote the same section in the comments, you know you've done something right.
Yay.
Fuck. Write faster please. I love this series and I'm caught up.
6597587 My keyboard smokes as we speak.
Holy balls...
Sooo...What just happened?
6649346 Everyone got struck by lightning and died? But I'm sure all the bad guys got away.
6649945
6649346
I suppose my love for open-ended stories got to me again.
I am not a sociologist or a politician, but "self-immolation in the streets" typically means you are not doing a good job governing and all...
For some reason I have this silly picture in my head of some officious official providing an orientation session to new disciples R. Lee Ermey style: "Listen up acolytes and listen close! There will be no summonings, there will be no blood sacrifices, and absolutely no suicides. Anypony caught caught performing suicide will be fined, sentenced to community service and placed under censure until such time when his or her sentence is complete!"
The griffons seem to be quite bad off. Dwindling population barely subsistence living, violent, individualistic clannish bands with no social order or family ties, major cataclysm that destroyed their major, unifying population centres...
Of course the ponies, with their rotting governance and eminent food crisis, do not seem any better off...
6729835 It's a mad mad world out there.
So Hart is leaving the guard right when everyone needs home not to (and he knows it), stayed awake every night this week, and messing up some of his most important friendships because he thinks he needs to to protect his daughter and I understand that but did he just decide that she would be ok for a few more hours because he wanted to have sex with the new mare?
Did I miss something?
I might buy that if it were not for the staying up every night watching her to keep her safe thing but as it stand I a confused in a bad way.
It is late and I need to go to sleep, maybe my thoughts will have changed in the morning.
6832246 Hmm. When you put it that way, yeah, there's some discrepancy in the consistency of his behavior, and although I right away see a few routes to explain that, they're mostly only implicit in the text. Definetly something I could have elaborated more.
And the excrement is rapidly accelerating towards the cooling device and poor Heart here is wading hocks deep through it.
At least he is in a fairly secure area if things go all to Tartarus...
I was really happy to see Cecil again and I loved the anarchist society. The alicorn bit in the room we became so familiar with in the original was pretty cool too : )
6918849 Gotta love them griffons.
My only concern with Cecil is that she became a tad too similar to Gilda. You think that?
And of course, the series continues to be amazing.
I hate to ask, but did Mill's daughter die? I vaguely recall her getting stabbed. It has just been too long since the last chapter.
6921717 Thanks and nope. There was supposed to be a happy ending after all.
I thought this was a really cool chapter, the best so far.
I can't wait to see what happens to Hart next : )
That was supa intense yo
6922696
Which chapter was that, exactly?
I must admit I came to the story looking more for a philosophical-ish debate/practical representation of whether and/or how a democratic government would work in a fairly grimdark setting. You didn't quite deliver on the promise, focusing on the story instead of worldbuilding, and just giving us the quite obvious idea that a democracy would not, in fact, ever be feasible and efficient enough in such a setting, and instead an authoritative power has to take over, or it all turns into a mess. Knowing a lot of the grimdark fiction, and actually some real-world examples of that, while I'd have liked to see some debate and examples of things happening otherwise, your depiction was right, in my opinion.
Eventually, responding to some of the comments from both the 1st story and the sequel(a year or two late, I imagine), the story is a decently done grimdark. It had its grimdark themes and tone, but the setting was its strength, not weakness, even if such turn of events was a turn-off to some. I'm only slightly disappointed you didn't eventually extend on why exactly the alicorns were gone, why everything ended up being organised the way it was. I'd actually hope for a prequel, or at least a blog (or something, anything at all
) explaining, or expanding the setting to us.
It's such a shame this didn't get any more views. Feels like people don't ever get rewarded, let alone appreciated, for their effort, and instead fanservice is being hailed back and forth. I'm really hoping this won't dissuade you from writing more in this vein. Perhaps yet another sequel, or something within the setting.
If you're in need of a prereader/editor, you need only ask.
7841130 In fact I originally intended to focus more on the dystopic society and the bigger picture of Equestrian politics, history of the catastrophe etc. Turns out juggling with half a dozen characters goes into the opposite direction. I still don't get how e.g. Martin does it.
In any case, thank you for the appreciation! You are right, I had hoped this fic to fare better in terms of views, but luckily a work well done is a reward in itself. Still, especially in the light of what you wrote, I feel tempted to give this fic (or theme anyhow) another shot, right after the ice-age of my pony related writing melts away. Come that time, I'd be overjoyed to accept your gracious offer for help.
It seems like you were planing to go into detail about the history of the catastrophe but never got around to it. since it seems unlikely that you are going to make another sequel/prequel, can I ask about what you were planning to reveal?
8146736 Actually I decided early on I wouldn't be going too much or at all into the catastrophe, rather let it remain as a background reference. But it could've been utilized more for sure.
As to what I might've written had things gone differently, I have no idea.
8146823
Ah, well thanks anyway for the story.
8146828 My pleasure!
You can has review!