Scootabelle of Latter Day Ships
The path cut straight through the jutting stalagmite formations, winding left and right as it skirted pillar after pillar of craggy stone-gray rock. The Petrispines looked far from natural at a casual glance, with almost geometrically perfect segments standing out horizontally from one another. The earthen foundation beneath the shards looked almost perfectly flat. Rainbow Dash imagined the structures as chess pieces that had been casually placed across a pale-white board with no rhyme or reason. Several of the formations even appeared narrower at the bottom than at the top. A part of the mare feared that a simple sneeze would knock the things over—crushing the Rohbredden travelers to a bloody pulp.
She was the only pony expressing any sense of concern, as was evident from the calmly strolling pilgrims who were predominantly taking the same path as she and her fellow companions. For the most part, the path rolled its way north, worming through narrow spaces that had been cleared out ages ago. The beaten floor had been reduced to loose gravel that crunched under everypony's hooves, and the walkway was wide enough for sunlight to easily shine through as the noonday sun peeked over the summits of the mountains to the north and east.
Glancing left and right—off the path—Rainbow Dash saw multiple thick bushes and various species of pine trees doing their best to fill up the spaces between the stone behemoths. No matter how tall nature grew in that region, the twisted pillars of rock still dwarfed them. Still, the flora took on remarkable vibrancy, populated by flowers of every color. Rainbow saw camellias, lilies, magnolias, and azaleas. The sight was so dazzling that the mare almost missed her mane for the first time since Riverstem.
At one point, there was a break in the Petrispines, and Rainbow spotted several shallow lakes and ponds with immaculately placid surfaces. The water was so crisp and clean that it perfectly reflected the granite shards and flowers surrounding it—so that Rainbow almost thought she was trotting across a derelict island of jagged rock, floating in the clouds. The buzz of insects and the chatter of Reeds and Sweet broke her out of the illusion, and they pressed on, spanning a plain wooden bridge that spanned the ponds—all the while hugging the stone formations flanking the water.
“These... these fabulous shapes!” Rarity cooed, eyes sparkling. “They're like silk sheets to my senses! Heeeeee...”
“Oh wowie zowie!” Pinkie Pie couldn't stop flying and zipping through the rocks with splashes of lavender. “If only Maud were here! She'd have a field day with all of this!” She turned to grin at Rainbow. “Say, Dashie! What if the Sixth Seed frees Maud from the Vanilla Zone?”
Rarity squinted at her. “Pinkie. Your sister Maud is back home. Alive and corporeal. We've even chatted with her, remember?”
“Mmmmm...” Pinkie pouted, rubbing her forelimbs together. “It could happen.”
“I... I just can't get over how astonishing it all looks!” Twilight said breathlessly. “I've seen limestone and sandstone deposits taking on bizarre shapes from gradual erosion—but nothing on this scale!”
“Don't break the mystique, darling,” Rarity insisted.
“But... but the nature behind it is what's so spectacular! Not just the superficial effect!” Twilight exclaimed.
“I, for one, really like how nature has found a way to grow in between the rocks.” Fluttershy sighed dreamily, smiling at the dragonflies flitting over the ponds and landing on floating orchards. “Even if this land is run by a big bad crazy ice dragon, the flora and fauna still know how to be beautiful on their own.”
“You said it, Flutters!” Pinkie giggle-snorted.
“Rainbow! Quick!” Twilight floated right in front of Rainbow Dash. “Please. You have to ask them how this fantastic place came about!”
“Ahem...” Rainbow Dash cleared her throat, then glanced aside at the traveling citizens. “So... uh... why do they call these the 'Petrispines' anyway?”
“Well...” Sweet tapped her chin. “Because they're petrified.”
“And they're spines!” Reeds added.
Both twins chuckled.
Rainbow sighed out a dumb smirk. “Well there you have it.”
“Awwwwwww...” Twilight folded her forelimbs with a pout. “Where's Theanim when you need him?”
“Actually, the ponies of Kunmane have an age-old legend,” Reeds remarked.
Rainbow's ears twitched. “Oh?”
“Yes.” He nodded. “The elder archives maintain that windigos treasured Kunmane above all villages during the Frost Wars. In fact, they loved this city so much that they galloped circles around it—endlessly—freezing the land surrounding it while winding up the hearts of the ponies who lived in the eye of the frozen storm that their blighted manes created.”
Sweet joined in with a smile: “And when all seemed lost and the ponies of Kunmane nearly succumbed to the evil windigos' heartless curse, the gracious and mighty Verlaxion sent a single gasp of her thawing breath southwest through the misty mountains and knocked the windigos off their hooves!”
“They tumbled all over each other like dominoes!” Reeds smirked. “And the grinding of their limbs against the earth made the Petrispines!”
“Talk about a frozen tumble! Hehe!” Sweet's blue coat turned rosy with mirth.
“Huh...” Rainbow arched an eyebrow beneath her hat. “And do you really believe that?”
“Mmmmm... nah.” Reeds chuckled. “But the elders get super happy when they re-tell the tale at each Unification Day.”
“Right...” Rainbow Dash droned as she trotted along. “We can't be letting them down, can we?”
“Don't tell me that there's no folklore where you come from, Scootabelle!” Sweet remarked. “Nothing that makes you feel like you belong at home?”
“Eh... I suppose.” Rainbow Dash shrugged. A devilish smirk. “But I'd rather make my own folklore.”
“Hah!” Reeds smiled. “I like that attitude!”
“I like my attitude too.”
“I... I'm kinda curious,” Sweet said. “Do Colonialists believe in any sort of spirit or destiny at all? I mean... I-I just can't imagine a life without Verlaxion!”
“Sweet...” Reeds chided.
“I'm only asking!”
“Yeah, well, I'm the wrong pony to pose that question to,” Rainbow muttered.
“Rainbow...” Twilight whispered. “You know better! If you play silent and dumb all the time, they might suspect that you're not who you say you are!”
“A little imagination never hurt anyone, darling,” Rarity said.
Rainbow blinked. “Uhhhhh...” She fidgeted slightly in mid-speech, gazing up at the majestic spires looming above them. “Come to think of it, many ponies on the island I grew up in believed strongly in...” A beat. Rainbow's eyes traveled back down to the water below the flat bridge. She blinked. “...shipping.”
“Shipping?” Sweet blinked.
“Uhm... as in boats and shipbuilding?” Reeds inquired.
“No. More like...” Rainbow gestured with a hoof. “...you put a pony in one boat and... like... a pony in another boat, and then you cast them off together. And... like... their souls are married n'stuff.”
“Ooooh!” Sweet grinned wide. “Not only spiritual, but romantic!”
“Eughhh...” Reeds rolled his eyes. “Give me a break.”
“Hey!” Sweet swatted his blue shoulder with a frown. “Be considerate!”
“Eh... it's okay.” Rainbow waved a hoof. “Our gods aren't too offended.”
“What are their names?” Sweet asked. “Your gods, I mean.”
“Oh... uhm...” Rainbow blinked blankly ahead. “...the Mighty God Nick... and Beautiful Goddess Flare... of ermm... … … Mwapland.”
“Wow...” Pinkie blinked, rubbing her chin. “When did that ever happen?” A lavender hoof swatted the back of her head. “Ow! Hey!”
Rarity sighed, face-hoofing. “Okay... maybe not that much imagination.”
Rainbow smiled.
“Uhm...” Fluttershy suddenly winced, rubbing her head. “Girls?”
Twilight looked over. “What is it, Fluttershy?”
Rarity breathed. “Are you okay, darling?”
“Uhhh... I'm okay.” Fluttershy gulped. “But there's something... very peculiar.”
“Wuh oh!” Pinkie floated closer. “Flutter butters are a'shuddering!”
“It's ponies, right?” Twilight asked. “You sense ponies?”
“Yes. But...” Fluttershy bit her lip. “These ponies aren't sticking to the road. As a matter of fact, I think they're nestled somewhere above us.”
“Like on the stones?” Pinkie asked.
“Perhaps. It's... a bit unclear.” Fluttershy turned and pointed northwest. “I'd say about two hundred feet in that direction.”
Twilight pivoted. “Rarity?”
“There's... several even planks of wood,” Rarity remarked, rubbing her head as she squinted into the pondwater below. “And they've been placed atop an even line of stone summits.” She tilted her pale face up, lips quivering. “Oh dear...”
“Wuh oh!” Pinkie gulped. She looked at Rainbow Dash. “I think our Pilgrim Petrispine Party is about to get Pooped!”
Rainbow gazed at her marefriends. With a calm breath, she spoke towards the two siblings trotting with her: “You said that bandits like to hide out in this place?”
“Hmmm?” Reeds looked up. “Oh! Heh...” He waved a hoof. “I was just blowing hot air. There hasn't been a bandit attack in... oh... years, easily.”
“Yeah! Besides...” Sweet hummed to herself. “...it's a day and a half to Unification Day! No bandits ever attack so close to the Month of Thawing!”
“It just wouldn't be proper.”
“Hah! You said it, brother!”
Rainbow clenched her jaws. “Just like how honorable the seven seas are...”
“Huh?”
“What was that, Scootabelle?”
“Nothing...” Rainbow Dash cleared her throat, then smiled calmly at the pair. “Say... my hooves are getting tired. Any chance we can rest a bit?”
“Funny you should ask! There's a clearing up ahead! Just beyond the bridge!”
“You don't say...”
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Shipping! Scootabelle on a boat.
Geez, these two are practically duel versions of Pinkie!
Okay so it's some petrified materiel. Is it just a bunch of giant petrified trees? A petrified forest perhaps?
Rarity's mineral/topography sense seems to induce some level of euphoria.
-Companions have returned, inner darkness spurned. Utaan.
Bandit attack, coming right up! Time to make some more folklore, RD.
If Rarity gets back she is going to have SO much inspiration to work with.
I am not sure if this has been mentioned before but theoretically a modified 'Blue Streak Maneuver' could potentially allow someone from Equestria to join Rainbow on the edge of the world. Only theoretically, the logistics of the effort would be astronomical.
That she is, having had her faith in pretty much everything dashed.
Edit: did anyone else notice that this fic is now only 4 words longer than Eljunbyro?
Hands down
bestdumbeststrangestsilliest... shipperificest chapter of the book so far.As religions go, you could do a lot worse than Shipping.
Bandits, or the Talon?
The one true ship has been restored to the earth, just as it was 2000 years ago
Now that's a religion I can get behind!
so, I'm assuming this is our symbol?
i.imgur.com/MBFBu.png
There is a religion of shipping now.
ICSwan Song plsIf I convert to the Church of Shipping do I get free shipping and handling?
The religion of shipping? First the name, now this! Twilight,help her out already!
6750900
Kek, you're welcome!
From now on, nothing goes down unless I'm involved. No blushing, no kissing, no nothing! A dinghy is sinking at the pier—I want in! You got diabetes while we starved on the streets! Now it's my turn!
Also, Nick Flare Mwapland. Hilarious by itself, but is that a reference? Ugh, I should probably be getting this, but . . .
I want this religion in my life
Our Father Nick who art in Mwapland,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy romances come,
Thy ships be done,
On Earth as it is in Mwapland.
Give us this day our daily squees.
And forgive us our headcanons,
As we forgive those who fanon against us.
And lead us not into clopping,
But deliver us from grimdark.
Ramen.
I'm converting.
Does this make Swan Song our Pope?
Nick and Flare said "Let there be love" and love was. They saw that love was good and created shipping. Then there was Rainbow and Apple - the First Ship.
Or something like that.
You really didn't need to invent anything, Dash. It seems colonialists are godless and proud of it. And if you wanted to talk religion, you have met lots of them. You could have talked them about Nagun the Spark Valkyrie of Angels.
Bandits have been lead astray by the Generalised Gygax Guide?
Rocks fall, everyone dies.
Except when Pinkie rolls D20, she gets 101?
Look everyone! The story now has 300 likes!
Sounds kind of like your life, Dashie.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of clop, I will fear no evil: for thou shalt ship me; thy Rainbow and thy Roarke they comfort me.
Heheheheheheheheheheheheh. Shipping.
Well this was a chapter, that's for sure. Rainbow is so silly when she is is fumbling thought things it's quite adorable. To bad Bandits had to come and mess it all up. I almost thought it was the Talon there for a second.
Jesus Skirts freaking damn it.
6752617 And beneath.
You said it Twilight
The bandits will be Bard and WC.
Now that I said it, it won't be them, thank me later
6752858 We do all realize that YOU'RE the true God(dess) of Mwapland, I hope
So... Does Mwapland have a port large enough to handle cargo ships?
/maybe too much imagination
No rainbow! Badassery only makes you stick out and easier to find....eh screw it, beat some bandit ass.
Oh lordy, the shipping meta is too strong.
6753137
Glad I wasn't the only one who thought that.
Oh gosh.
Now the real question is, are Reed and Sweets in with the bandits or just innocents?
Also finally, a religion I can get behind. Where do I sign up?
6754729
I also thought it could be the Talon, but I would have figured that Pinkie would have gotten some pinkie sense warning too and not just Fluttershy.
S-senpai...
*checks Fimfiction for the third time today*
....
There still isn't a new chapter!?!?!
*hits the refresh button again*
6757063 It's the Grinch's fault.
God dammit Nick. I blame you. For all the things. All of them.
Still cute!
Charging through the storm
On the one Rainbow Dash
Over the planks we go
Flanking all the way.
6753229 would be awesome actua;lly, Bard and WC coming back is a moment I am looking forwards too.
Also, Hey there, long time no see ^_^
Bandits? Psh. I don't think they are, but even if they are, Dash has them outclassed.
I guess it's time to fight more heathens that do not believe in Shipping.
6752858 I am not entirely convinced that you haven't murdered IC, assumed his place, and are now writing these chapters.
She's literally inventing a cargo cult!