Rainbow Rogue: Now With Ghosts
Chandler and Longaze trotted down the centralmost deck of the east strut, escorted by dredgers. As they scaled a bridge, they crossed paths with a very familiar figure.
Monket's head turned in mid-trot. His pale red eyes narrowed on the would-be-magistrate. The slaver smiled.
Chandler glared daggers. With an indignant snort, he stared straight ahead.
Monket turned his head with a flounce of his dreads and kept strolling in the opposite direction.
Longaze continued looking at Monket for a few more seconds. Turning forward, she trotted closer to her boss. “I fail to see what sort of trustworthiness you once perceived in that stallion,” she murmured.
“I allowed the manestyle to fool me into entrusting him with confidence.” Chandler shuddered. “Let this be a lesson to you, my dear. Never measure experience by eccentricity.”
“I suspect the ultimate example lies ahead,” Longaze said, spotting a strip of glossy red bangs as Skagra trotted towards them. “Who did the seaside business scouting for you? The Consortium's executive hair-dresser?”
“Mrnnnghhh... don't get me started...” Chandler cleared his throat as both groups met on a teetering metal bridge. “Mister Skagra...”
“Brye Chandler!” Skagra chortled, bowing. “As I live and grow flaccid! How're the wife and kids? Trick question. I haven't murdered them yet.”
“Aren't we a little bit past idle threats, Skagra?” Chandler muttered.
“Hmmm?” Skagra tilted his head with a sideways grin. “And what about good ol' fashion jokes?”
“I'm looking at you, aren't I?”
“My sides are splitting already.” Skagra motioned at Longaze. “I see you brought your severed appendix and put a blonde wig on it. Must be fitting, seeing how your kidneys ran off and got itself some dreadlocks... not to mention a smarter business partner.”
“Must be easy identifying organs when you completely lack them,” Longaze droned.
“My dear,” Chandler muttered aside. “Please leave the snappy comebacks to me.”
“Ahem. My apologies, sir.”
“Mr. Skagra, neither you nor I wish to engage in too many pleasantries,” Chandler breathed. “Let's just get this over with so I can stop smelling you and this Verlaxion-forsaken Barge. But mostly just you.”
“Agreed!” Skagra bore a crooked smile, rubbing his hooves together. “So how 'bout we go and take a dip into your ship's cargo hold and have a look-see at all the platinum and gold you brought me?”
“Out of the question,” Chandler retorted.
“I'm sorry?” Skagra craned his good ear while gazing wall-eyed at his thugs. “I fear the corpse doth protest too much.”
“I did not churn through all of these filthy waters just to stand here on the navel of filth and have you run laps around me, Skagra,” Chandler growled. “My being here is a sign of trust in and of itself, not to mention a civilized travesty.” He cleared his throat, taking a bold step forward. “You will show me my end of the bargain first. Then and only then will we proceed with this exchange.”
“Hmmm...” Skagra glanced at a lackey, one eye fluttering. “You have to love the sound of a shit gesyer in the morning. Could almost dance to it.” He cracked the joints in his jaw and shuffled forward. “Alright, Chandler. Let's go upstairs and do the fat cat chat in my office. The appendix is also invited. Come. We have drinks.”
“You're insane,” Chandler hissed. “You think I'm going guzzle down anything you have to serve me?”
“What, are you brain bloat?” Skagra sputtered. “Pffft! The drinks are for me, blowhole. You can watch me sip while I watch you tip over and fall on your knees, begging for the precious Rainbow Rogue.”
“We had a deal, Skagra.”
“Fine, then. Just teeter.” Skagra stifled a yawn while trotting towards the central platform. “Really, though. We so do need to catch up. We can take this face-to-half-face opportunity to demarcate the muck out of... well... the muck. You get the high road and I get the low bloat. We each go home to our dead friends happy. Ya feel me?”
“There are many things I intend to do in this lifetime, Skagra,” Chandler muttered as he and Longaze followed the top dredger. “The last thing is feel you.”
“Mrrmmmf. Be careful what you wish for.”
Rainbow coughed, sputtered, and wheezed. She waved a hoof in front of her muzzle as she shuffled through the dense, misty confines of the brig.
“Rainbow!” Twilight gasped, floating closer. “Is... is the steam suffocating you?”
“No...” Rainbow nevertheless winced, eyelashes saturated with moisture. “...just really, really cramping my style.” She tilted her body up, breathed from a dry pocket of air, then dashed across the room. She found two figures huddled in the corner. “Hey! Guy! Half-guy! You two hanging in there?”
Keris—despite his forelimb in a splint—stood with his lithe body hunched protectively over Swab. “We're... m-managing...” He wheezed. He had to speak up to be heard over the continuous hiss of vented steam. “...it would appear as though they've given up on dumping the toxic contents down here.”
“Yeah... for now.” Rainbow narrowed her ruby eyes on the colt. “Swab. Kid... you know of any other way out of here?”
Swab shook his head, trembling slightly. “Only the way I-I came down,” he said, wincing as he clutched his throat again. “And it's not big enough for either you or the Lieutenant.”
“Dang it...” Rainbow Dash looked around at the thickening mist, glaring. “Rarity, I don't suppose there's—like—a loose strip of rust I can kick so that a jackhammer will miraculously pop out?”
“I'm afraid not, darling,” Rarity said, shaking her head. “There simply isn't any more damage you can do. Just short of...” She gulped. “...of removing that pendant from your throat, of course.”
“And that sure as heck ain't happening,” Rainbow grumbled. “It's super awesome that this steam leak has bought us some time, but now what?”
Fluttershy drifted down, along with Pinkie. “I don't think we'll have to wait for too long,” the ghostly pegasus said.
“Huh?” Rainbow looked.
“Those mean stallions above us are looking very anxious,” Fluttershy said.
“They could pop just about any minute!” Pinkie squeaked. “Just... KAPOW! Slimey meaty morsels all over the place!”
“Hmmm...” Rarity tapped her chin in thought. “...a bunch of superstitious uneducated deviants gathered in one tight location could be rather fortuitous.”
“How so?” Rainbow asked.
“Rainbow?” Swab blinked. “What are you and the girls talking about?”
“Shhhhhhh... one second, scampster...” Rainbow gently waved a hoof and looked at Rarity. “Spit it out, Rares. Just what do you have in mind?”
“No doubt they are feeling hellish pressure from their most deplorable lord and overseer,” Rarity remarked. “At this point, I suppose the most pertinent question is: whom do they fear more? Him? Or you?”
Rainbow rubbed her chin in thought. She turned towards Keris, gazing at his piercing hawkeyes and razor-sharp beak. “... ... ...or Verlaxion.”
“Huh?” Swab blinked.
“Miss Dash,” Keris remarked, waving the steam away from his face. Sweat dripped over his cuts, forcing him to wince. “If you're planning to... utilize my talents in some fashion, I'm afraid to disappoint you...”
“Not as afraid as those chumps will be to disappoint Skagra,” Rainbow said. “Look... we haven't much time. You came here to find a monster, yes?”
“I do believe that statement's been repeated multiple times...”
“Well, you're about to catch her.” Rainbow looked left and right. At last, her gaze fell on a sharp shiv of metal. “Swab?”
“Yes?”
She pointed at the shrapnel. “Go fetch.”
The colt scampered over, picking the object up.
“Now...” Rainbow Dash squatted down to his level, fluffed her mane, and held out a tiny stretch of bangs towards him. “How about we take a little bit off the top.”
“Huh?” Swab blinked.
“You heard me, kiddo,” Rainbow Dash said, gesturing at the fibrous ends. “Just a slice. Pretend you're making a scrap book.”
“Rainbow Dash...” Twilight's muzzle twisted. “I've only followed your adventures for so long, but why do I get the feeling you just look for excuses to cut your hair off?”
“Silence, egghead,” Rainbow Dash said. “You'll ruin the prestige.” Her eyes darted over. “Swab?”
“Do as she says, child,” Keris remarked, gently resting a talon on his shoulder. “I suspect I know where she's going with this... and it's maddeningly genius.”
“It's called the power of stupidity,” Rainbow muttered as Swab began quietly, dilligently slicing at her bangs. “You should try it sometime, dude.”
“You first, Miss Dash.”
“Eeeeeugh!” Rarity covered her face, wincing as she turned away from the follicle butchering. “I shan't look!”
“Nix...” One of several thugs fidgeted above the brig. “Come on, Nix.” He shrugged dramatically. “What are we going to do?”
“Shhhhh...” Nixkit paced and paced around the dredge dust containers. “I'm thinking.”
“Well, think harder!” The other dredgers cast forlorn glances at the central platform and its structures. “Skagra will be here any minute with Chandler and the pendant—and all we have is a bunch of fart gas to put the necklace around!”
“What do you want me to do, huh?!” Nixkit scowled at the others. “For all I know, the steam leak could have scalded the two of them into a burnt crisp! If that's true, then the only thing either Skagra or Chandler will have is our balls for breakfast! All day, every day, throughout the Verlaxion-damned Month of Thawing!”
“Well, neither of them will have the Rainbow Rogue, that's for certain.”
All of the dredgers gasped. They spun, gawking at the metal grate that sealed the top of the brig.
“Will you look at that?”
“No way...”
“How in the muck...?!”
A weary, bruised, and wincing griffon pressed himself up against the narrow bars. Steam billowed past his figure, fluttering at his feathers and headcrest. Coughing and sputtering, the Lieutenant poked his beak between the metal spokes. “She is no longer a concern of yours... or your boss.”
“What?” Nixkit raised an eyebrow. “Did she ram her beastly head into a pipe array and pass out?”
“Even better.” After a deep breath, Keris raised his one good talon up and beyond the tufts of steam. In his claws were several colorful strands of hair. “I have slain her.”
The thugs went numb... pale.
Nixkit slumped to his knees, muzzle agape. He leaned in, his eyes narrowing on the shredded mane fibers. “That... th-that's...”
“Boss...” Another stallion stammered, gripping his shark prod. “All of her mane and hair had been replaced by... a gray and brown coat. You saw it for yourself.”
“Did... did he really kill it?! Did he kill the Rainbow Rogue?”
“But... b-but...” Nixkit stared at him with twitching eyes. “How...?”
“I'm the Lieutenant of the Right Talon of Verlaxion. That's how.” Keris frowned. “Now would you kindly let me out of this wretched steam bath? You can do whatever you wish to her wretched corpse down there. I want nothing to do with it.”
“Uhhhh...” Another thug gulped. “Skagra's not going to like this... not one bit.”
“Shut up!” Nixkit snarled. After a deep breath, he gazed at the edges of the grate. Then his pale brow furrowed. “... ... ...unbolt it.”
“But—”
“We need to check!” Nixkit turned to glance at the central platform and Chandler's ship beyond. “While there's still time!”
“Okay, boss...” The thugs dashed left and right, loosening the bolts. “Whatever you say.”
Keris took a deep breath. He frowned, hawkeyes narrowing as he slowly... icily withdrew back into the steamy depths beneath the grate.
“Quickly! You two! Polearms at the ready! Go and sweep the floor and holler at the first sign of flesh!”
Multiple metal planks away...
“Mrnnngh... grkkkllkt... pteehhh!” Digiff limped and slumped, spitting up blood. His body was covered all over with bumps, bruises, and shallow cuts. He glared through a black eye, trotting in a sideways shuffle. “Damn... spineless... nibble-shitting kids...” He cracked several aching joints in his neck and exhaled sharply. “Going to skin them all alive. I swear to Verlaxion...”
The bearded dredger froze in place.
He tilted his head up, gazing at the grate several deckplates to the south.
Nixkit oversaw as the other thugs before him slid the heavy bolts out of the brig's entrance.
Digiff blinked his one good eye. He looked directly above the brig.
The vents were all spouting steam and mist. A pair of colts stood on the very top, observing. As soon as they saw Digiff make eye-contact, they galloped away—but not without knocking loose the lid to one vent... a vent that was conspicuously Swab-sized.
Digiff's jaw hung open... and then his good eye widened. “No...” He rushed forward, waving a hoof. “Nooo! You idiots! Get away from that! Get away—”
Nixkit glanced over, his beady eyes blinking from a distance.
It was too late. Creaaaaak. The grate lifted open, and—
Th-Thwooosh! A pair of blue limbs blurred out of the steam and sank back.
“Aaaaaaaaa—!” Two of Nixkit's stallions instantly disappeared, being dragged deep into the mist. The thick door bolts fell down the stairs, rattling directly behind them.
Digiff pulled at his hair, shook in place, rocked back and forth, and finally stumbled forward with a breathy: “Squidballs!”
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IT'S GO TIME.
And then Swab was dog.
Yoink.
This conversation. This entire conversation.
Hah ha haaah! Fools!
More like "Rainbow Rouge: Ghost Recon Edition".
img09.deviantart.net/f2a8/i/2012/143/3/6/evil_dash__by_flutterguy317-d4xv9sg.png
Ya'll dun mucked up
Well, it seems the Red Barge is about to close up shop soon.
Let it begin!
Badass time, Rainbow
The Grim Reaper works quickly
He's watching...always watching.
You wanted the "Rainbow Rogue" Well, here she is in all her Rainbow glory
Dash, high priestess of awesome and stupidity!
Is it because of the rage? Or because of the will? Whatever.. you are here because of the Fate.
-In the end isolation, hunted by a nation. Utaan.
The hunters have become the hunted.
It has never failed before.
...they're actually quite delicious.
Suddenly thinking of Alien. Gave me the willies.
It's time for the jailbreak!
I give it three chapters until Seraphimus shows up.
<insertitshappeninggif>
Alright time for Rainbow to truly get in on the action.
I really want a chapter titled "Ain't afraid of no Ghost(s)", because Ghostbusters is awesome.
If it also includes the return of Bard and WC and/or wyverns, even better
Woooo freedom!
The Talon and the Rogue. The barge will panic.
hey austraeoh fact checker! how many times did rainbow (tried to) cut her hair ?
go digif! you can do it!
6663953
now I'm hungry, and I just ate!
The fact that Keris is even willing to play the 'I had help from Verlaxion' card here is kind of interesting.
Also, how many times has Dash cut off her hair?
Here's Dashie
i suddenly give a shit about longaze
yep, love this one
2spooky4me
Rainbow and Keris now loose as the duo of destruction!
I can see how this must end.
6664609
6664648
You know, I was expecting more, but actually all I could find was 3 instances:
- An inch off her mane during a fight with a minotaur
- Another inch during the fight with Shell in Black Level
- Roarke cutting off her (Rainbow's) tail so it'll fit in the half-blade armor in Innavedr ch. 2. It started growing back remarkably fast and came back fully at some unspecified time later - possibly at the Xonan warfront when she went all supersaiyan, or else at her "resurrection" in Amulek
Most of the other "manecut" references I found were either Belle cutting her hair and Pilate being fine with it, Phoenix shaving his mustache, or ponies with already shaved manes such as Imre and Zetta.
Really liking this series so far, keep up the good work!
Oh man, it feels so good to have a few chapters with a bit of levity in them.
6665249 I'm pretty sure there were more than that, they may have been worded differently than you were searching for though. For example I'm pretty sure she lost a few strands of it way back in the Quarry eel cave in Book 1. I could be wrong though.
I can't wait to see how the Keris/Dash dichotomy works out.
Poor Digiff: always in the wrong place at the right time.
This is going to be very, very interesting.
After all the tense and depressing chapters we've had to endure, it'll be great to finally sit back and watch the bad guys get a well-deserved butt-kicking.
There is going to be a righteous kicking of plots on this boat.
8196811
That we've aaaalll been looong since waiting for!
*says in epic movie trailer voice*
6991028
It really has been depressing so far. I feel like this will be the beginning of good things to come.
One of the only good things about Red Barge is the creativity they show in their language. I mean, where else would you hear this stuff?
Oh you dumb dumbs. You actually fell for it.