• Published 13th Oct 2015
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Utaan - Imploding Colon



Rainbow Dash endures many trials to reach the edge of the world.

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A Slime Ball a Day...

Hoofsteps.

Chains.

Howling winds.

Theanim Mane bit his lip as he trudged down the cold stone corridor. With a shuddering breath, he turned to look behind him in the dim prison manalight.

A pair of eyeslits announced Echo's location behind him. The flightless sarosian trotted calmly between a pair of armored stallions.

Theanim took a deep breath, then looked ahead to the two stallions leading them. He had to trot sideways to avoid other members of the Rohbredden Central Guard trotting in the opposite direction. Gradually, the group of six trudged their way deeper and deeper through the frigid underbelly of the Frosted Shelves. Slick stone bridges spanned an enormous black gap. Rigidly carved walls were dotted with rusted doors and barred windows for as far as the scientist could see—both above him and beneath him. Pegasus guards flew every which way, armed with crossbows. Meanwhile, a never-ending roar of echoing voices, banging metal, and rambling shouts filled the ancient penitentiary with perpetual bedlam.

At last—as the howling and shouts reached a fever pitch—the escort stopped at what appeared to be a dead end. Theanim swiftly noticed a pair of guards positioned next to a complex pulley system. The head of the escort conversed with the stallions, and the guards nodded back. Twirling a set of valves and levers, they set off a chain reaction of moving ropes and gears.

Theanim looked up and Echo calmly blinked as a broad metal balcony lowered from an unseen ceiling. Descending from darkness, the rusted ledge hugged a flat wall of hanging prison doors. At last, the balcony came to a rattling stop, aligning with a line of doors two levels above the ledge where the group was standing.

One of the guards jerked a lever, and a ramp stretched out from their platform, connecting with the hanging ledge. Thuddd! The stallions escorting Theanim looked back and nodded.

Theanim nodded back. Under careful watch, he and Echo spanned the ramp, then stood on the platform. A ruckus split the air as emaciated prisoners reached their forelimbs out of their door windows, spitting and gargling nonsense. One of the guards banged his spear against the doorframes, forcing the trembling inmates back. They then brought Echo and Theanim to a single rusted door and spent a full minute unlocking it in three places. Then, with a metallic groan, they opened the door and gestured for Theanim and Echo to enter.

The two did so, with only a slight bit of reluctant on Theanim's part.

"We will be right outside, Professor," one of the guards said. "The prisoner should be properly restrained. But if you have any issue with him..." He turned to glare at Echo. "...or from the midnighter, then do not hesitate to summon us."

"Thanks, good sir." Theanim nodded. "I will try to exercise caution."

Echo drifted by, flashing a fanged smile at the guard. "And I will try not to sodomize you with mind."

The guard tried frowning, but a noticeable shudder rolled through his armor nevertheless.

Theanim sighed, rolling his eyes. He waited for Echo to walk into the cell...


...and then followed him inside with a shuffling trot.

Cl-Clannnng!

The rusted clap of the closed door took a full thirty seconds to finish echoing across the cell's claustrophobic walls. As soon as the noise finished, and all was silent save for the hush of mad prisoners in the abysmal chambers outside, a weak voice hissed out of the shadows, three times as slimy as everything else in that place.

"Well, if it isn't the self-righteous robbers of Lower Shoggoth." A figure shifted atop a rancid excuse for a cot. "No doubt you've arrived to gloat in what's left of my muzzle."

"Hmmmm..." Echo smiled tiredly at Theanim. "Friggin' typical. Why's it that every time you have a reunion with a real jerkoff, they begin the conversation with 'Well, if it isn't the guys who totally whooped my ass'?"

Theanim grumbled. "Old chap..."

"No, by all means, Professor," the voice resumed, weak and raspy. "Allow your blood-sucking friend the chance to gloat. I would if I was in the freak's position."

"Hah. 'Blood-sucking.' How original." Echo turned and pointed at a grimy wooden container on the floor. "Well well well... if it isn't the shit bucket they gave you."

"What about it—?"

Cl-Clank! Echo bucked the thing savagely. The putrid contents of the bucket splashed across half the cell. A horrible odor immediately filled the air.

Theanim clenched his eyes shut. "Did you really have to do that...?"

"Eh... all things considered," the voice slithered. "He gave this deplorable place an upgrade."

"Yeah." Echo casually grabbed a metal chair and perched on it. "A shithole for a real shitstain." In half-a-breath, he hung upside down from the back of the chair, staring comfortably across the dark expanse. "I'm surprised a cradle robber like you has lasted this long, Jeryn."

Theanim squinted. "I... I-I'm afraid I don't follow..."

"Some knowledge you can't get from scientific observation, professor. Sometimes the only truth that matters is word of muzzle. Or... in this insufferable prison's case..." There was a rattle of chains, and a scrawny figure shuffled out of the shadows at a bent angle. Jeryn's muzzle was scarcely recognizable from a superfluous amount of whelts and permanent bruises marring his face. "...word of fetlock."

Theanim grimaced. "Verlaxion's sleet..."

"Do you like it, Professor?" Jeryn winced. He spoke out the less lumpy side of his muzzle and squinted with one good eye. "Do you like the fruits of your thievery?"

"Did... the guards...?" Theanim couldn't finish the inquiry.

"Hrmmmff..." Jeryn almost laughed. He could only manage a wheezing cough. "I'm surprised you would be so pessimistic. A lot must have happened on the outside since you destroyed all I lived for in Shoggoth."

Theanim merely blinked.

"No, this...?" Jeryn gestured at his battered face. "...this is the work of the deplorable monsters that I've been forced to share these walls with. The so-called 'enemies of the state' arrive swiftly here in the proverbial sphincter of Rohbredden. But word travels faster... regardless of its merit." He pulled over a stool and slowly sat down in it, wincing. "The stallions of this sewer have been made to believe certain rumors about me, and this is the result of their mutual opinion."

"And would some of these rumors be true?" Theanim remarked, eyebrow arched.

"Hrmmmff..." Jeryn reached to his left, fumbled, then found a pitcher of water on a nearby table. "Truth... lies..." He took a sip. "...the only thing that holds weight down here is a properly swung hoof. But you wouldn't know that, I suppose." He wiped his muzzle dry and placed the pitcher back down. "You still believe in a purpose behind all things. What else would have brought you to these depths?"

Echo's fangs showed in a bittersweet smirk. "To stare into your lovely kisser."

"Echo..." Theanim grumbled.

"No! Honest! I think it's an improvement!"

"Forgive me if... I'm rather slow to the draw as of late." Jeryn rubbed his head, and it was only then that Theanim noticed his straight mane had been haphazardly shaved. "When I first came down here, they sent me into the gravel pits. I barely lasted a day. So... they tried shuffling me through the upper level labor halls. I..." He coughed. "...nearly bled to death after a rather unfortunate encounter with a concealed dagger. And that was after a very thorough beating. I'm... afraid my wits aren't quite what they used to be." He squinted. "Concussions will do that."

Theanim cleared his throat. "I've been told that the warden decided to keep you locked up in this cell. For your own protection."

"The only thing left that's worth protecting is my sanity. Tell me—how does this accomplish that?" Jeryn smiled crookedly. "I was never meant to be placed into solitary... and yet, alas, here is my lot in the buttocks of life." He shuddered. "You obviously came a very long way for a very grandiose purpose, Professor, but perhaps now you see with absolute certainty that there is nothing I even remotely possess that can be of any use to anypony. There is a certain depth that a stallion sinks—"

"And he begins to reassess the mistakes that he made?"

Jeryn's muzzle hung open. He stared into the darkness past his two visitors. "I... mmmm... do not regret being a part of the Syndicate." He cleared his throat, his one good eye lifting up to meeth Theanim's gaze. "I only regret what I chose as my safety net. I expected to fall upon a cushion of salvation. Instead, I got wrangled up like a fish and tossed before the sharks."

"Spoken like a true blue guppy," Echo said.

"Considering the fact that you brought the junkie with you," Jeryn hissed, his gaze slicing between the two. "I assume you're after information that your bosom buddy here can't provide, Professor." Jeryn squinted. "Before we even pretend to begin, I want to know what's in it for me."

"And I have to be honest with you, dear sir." Theanim leaned forward. "I'm not particularly sure I can offer much."

"Mrmmmff... anything... anything would be better than this festering pit that they've resorted to chaining me in." Jeryn's good eye twitched. "Believe me. If I could just die in some place with a bed that's not covered in fleas." He gulped. "The last shred of me will be at peace."

Theanim took a deep breath—instantly regretting it from the perpetual stench. "I'm a scientist with the Order," he spoke at last. "I'm certain that—if I gave them a candid psychological review of your battered psyche—I can at least convince them to isolate you from the rest of the population."

Echo gestured. "Less blunt force makeovers, if you catch Theams' drift."

Jeryn gradually nodded. "Somehow... I doubt it will work." He coughed out the side of his swollen mouth. "Still... I suppose it's worth the shot. In the end, however, there's only one real thing that will make me feel a sense of retribution. There's one pony who I stand to see suffer in all of this."

Theanim opened his muzzle, but hesitated. He fidgeted where he stood.

"Come now, Professor." Jeryn squinted his way. "What is it that you convinced the guards this meeting was about? Fact finding? An assessment of the 'Rainbow Rogue?' You know enough about what transpired down in Shoggoth to bear a full report to the Council on your own. It's about what lies beyond the murk of the seven seas that truly reeled you down to these depths."

"Eugh..." Echo's upside ears twitched. "Enough with the shit-show." He spat, "You gonna sing about Chandler or not?"

Theanim growled, "Old Chap..."

"Yessss..." Jeryn smiled, revealing two missing teeth. "Let's talk about Brye Chandler." He growled. "Let's talk about the master of puppets... the wielder of strings made out of gold and blood."

"You want back at him?" Echo's eyeslits narrowed. "Give Theams something to work with and we'll do what we can to bring him down."

"Erm... one th-thing at a time, Old Chap," Theanim said.

"Please, Professor, allow your midnighter coltfriend to do the spearheading for once." One of Jeryn's nostrils flared. "I can detect the odd tonality of a sober mind within him. It's quite unbecoming of the freak, if I do say so."

"Yeah. Whatever." Echo folded his forelimbs. "I heard Chandler's name tossed around plenty of times. Along with Monket's. But I was never that deeply involved with the Shoreline Operations to get the full scoop of that guano."

"And so you've come to me to clear the impasse," Jeryn said.

"Do you know how Monket of Mudtop is connected?" Theanim asked, leaning forward. "Has Chandler been dealing personally with the slaver?"

"Dealing with him? Pffft... Chandler had Monket personally escort me to Frostknife, along with the Luminards whom your illustrious rainbow blighter so mercilessly thrashed."

Theanim swallowed a lump down his throat. "So you can testify that Monket has been in a criminal partnership with the head executive of the Shoreline Trade Consortium?"

"Mmmmm... absolutely. As a matter of fact, they've been working for some time now."

"Define 'some time.'"

"The full duration of Chandler's rise to power." Jeryn's eye narrowed. "He didn't gain everything through a rich inheritance, Professor. Mr. Chandler knows the ins and outs of the muck—every putrid square inch of the Seven Seas is what the bastard drinks every morning. He's made deals with creatures even nastier than myself, if that can be believed."

Theanim exhaled. "I shudder to think."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Jeryn continued, "Chandler has monopolized the dredge coal business for years as a cover for a far more insidious operation."

"As in...?"

"I'm speaking of the purposeful supplication of explosive ordinance to bandits and political terrorists throughout the heart of central Rohbredden."

Theanim and Echo glanced at one another.

"There's... an anxious undercurrent of ennui in the shadow of our beloved Goddess." Jeryn gulped. "While most Rohbreddenites are willing to worship Verlaxion on the surface, there are many who believe—deep down in their hearts—that she's abandoned us for good. Or, even worse, she's never existed to begin with."

"That's preposterous," Theanim grumbled. "There is scientific validity behind the sacred tales of Unification. The power of Verlaxion keeps the chaotic elements at bay. She's even appeared before the Council within the last generation—"

"Her blasted frost golems have appeared, but not Verlaxion herself." Jeryn shuddered. "Please, Professor, I am not... truly attempting to challenge the legitimate essence of our Queen." He gulped. "I merely mean to imply that there are many ponies who do doubt her. And this doubt... this deeply-seeded mistrust is twisting Rohbredden at the fulcrum of all Six Tribes. Prefectures are struggling to stay in solidarity. Council Members wander home to their Frostknife embassies every evening, secretly wishing each other dead. Maybe you've been too busy sailing the Seven Seas to notice this in person. I personally don't blame you. That's why I stayed so deep in Shoggoth myself. I knew that—at one point or another—things were going to pop off, and it would be a sad day for the Tribes when it did."

"And Brye Chandler..." Theanim cocked his head aside. "What's his mission in all of this? Is he feeding the unrest?"

"Yes and no. Moreover, I'd say that he's planning to fix it." Jeryn leaned back with a sigh. "Why deal with a problem you can't solve? Better to create the problem yourself and then fix it from the outside while hoping nopony's the wiser." His bruised brow furrowed. "Throw a little fuel on the fire and let the foundation of the house burn down. Then, when it comes time to rebuild, you're in the right place and time to take charge."

"So, then, Chandler—the leader of the Consortium—is working on both the inside and the outside?" Theanim blinked. "He's funding terrorists to add to the unrest from within Rohbredden's borders... while using Monket to wrest controls of the Seven Seas?"

"The stallion knows how to operate on two fronts." Jeryn gulped. "At least... he used to."

"I beg your pardon?"

The prisoner sighed. "As I said, word travels the fastest down here. Rumor is that Monket and his previous employer are no longer an item." Jeryn's good eye darted about. "No that long ago, something... intense went down in Red Barge, the location of one of Chandler's largest investments. Since then, Mudtop has been claimed exclusively by the Slaver of the Waves."

Echo clenched his fanged jaws. He looked at Theanim.

Theanim looked back, then sighed towards the floor. "Then it's a loose end. Monket is holed up in Mudtop. You no longer work for Chandler. There's nothing left to pull his facade apart."

"I wouldn't be so quick to give up, Professor."

Theanim blinked. "Oh?"

"Chandler is nothing if not fast," Jeryn said. "The stallion is constantly three steps ahead of everyone else. He orchestrated the arrival of the Luminards to Frostknife. And—in so doing—he forced the Council to relocate the one elite team of guardians responsible for sabotaging the bulk of his terrorist subterfuge."

"The Right Talon of Verlaxion," Theanim murmured. "They went off to chase Rainbow Dash."

"They were sent on a wild goose chase." Jeryn yawned. "Suitable for a gaggle of meatheads, if I do say so myself."

"I was there when it happened," Theanim said. "Chandler's charisma certainly took ahold of the Council."

"Hrmmfff..." Jeryn smirked crookedly. "Is that what you think persuaded the Council to vote the way it did? Charisma?"

"I'm... afraid I don't feel you."

"It's like I said. Chandler is constantly three steps ahead. The Council was always meant to send the Right Talon of Verlaxion on a fool's errand. It was all a matter of timing on Chandler's part."

Theanim blinked. "Huh?"

"Theams..."

Theanim glanced over.

Echo's eyeslits peered back. "Chandler must have members of the Council in his pocket."

The Professor grimaced. "You... know of this?"

Echo exhaled. "Isn't it obvious? How else could Chandler have moved on up the ladder as quickly as he has if there wasn't some sort of support from within."

"And..." Theanim blinked, gazing off as he thought aloud. "...if he's supplying criminal activists with weaponry..."

"When he can't motivate Council Members by bits, he does so by intimidation," Jeryn said. "Between all his friends and enemies, he'll soon have a sizable enough bulk of the prefectures' representatives in a choke-hold. But that isn't enough on its own to edge him over."

"No, I suppose not. He needs to become a hero in the public's eyes." Theanim sighed. "He needs to capture the Rainbow Rogue."

"Indeed." Jeryn nodded. "The creature from beyond the blight has excited and terrified Rohbreddenites everywhere. Even down in these depths, the prisoners talk of her. Some think she's a living torch come to melt the legacy of Verlaxion."

"Now there's a frightening thought."

"Professor..." Jeryn arched an eyebrow. "Some ponies look forward to the notion."

Theanim bit his lip.

"But there's one thing I don't get." Echo's eyeslits narrowed. "If Monket's no longer wheeling and dealing with Chandler, then... hasn't he lost the game?"

"I must admit." Jeryn sighed. "I didn't expect him and Monket to have a falling out." He smirked. "I wish I was there to see the look on Chandler's face... when he lost so much."

Theanim cleared his throat. "I suppose the glorious leader of the Consortium lost a few of his forward steps."

"Possibly. But Chandler doesn't take pride in setbacks." Jeryn grunted, "I'm to take it that the Rainbow Rogue is still at large."

Theanim sighed. "Affirmative."

"Then I hate to be any of Chandler's secretaries at the moment." Jeryn fiddled with the chains attached to him. "As we speak, the bastard is undoubtedly attempting a bold move... one that he may regret."

"A stallion that conniving must still have connections within Rohbredden proper," Theanim said. "Can you point us in the right direction?"

"I can try." Jeryn shuddered. "You see... I'm not the only former associate of Chandler's who occupies these frozen halls. There are many... many more wasted shells of the Syndicate's former glory, all shoveled down here to act as the gravel for the Consortium's hooves to tread upon. Chandler's biggest problem is that he hasn't acked quickly enough. Because of that, several cretins have attempted to conquer the vacuum left in the Syndicate's wake. Monket succeeded, but what makes him so capable of survival is that he's limiting his reign to Mudtop. Others have... not been so subtle. They've been chaotic... they've been noisy... and they need to be restrained. And yet, allowing them to fall in the hooves of the Central Guard or the Right Talon would mean damnation for the Consortium. So he either has to appease these loose ends or he has to silence them. With his resources strained as of late, he can't really afford to do the latter with any relative ease."

"Do you know where one of these loose ends is being unraveled?" Theanim asked. "Has any of the rumors echoing across these prison halls given you even the slightest inclination?"

"I may have heard of a meeting about to take place," Jeryn said. "One in which a member of the Council is having to pay his due and cover up for Chandler's latest mistakes."

"A member of the Council is meeting up with one of Chandler's partners in crime?"

"Affirmative."

"Who's meeting who?" Theanim gulped. "Is... is Revan involved?"

"Revan's gone," Jeryn spat. "He's a ghost at best. Forget about Revan."

"Okay..."

"No, Professor, we're speaking of even filthier game," Jeryn said. "If you can help relocate me to a slightly... less putrid cell, then I shall tell you where this meeting's being held." He frowned. "I will give you an opportunity to die for... and when all is said and done, you can proceed to bag both a traitor and a scoundrel and turn the entire Consortium upside down."

Theanim and Echo exchanged glances.

"How can we believe that you're being totally honest with us?" Echo asked. "I know you, Jeryn. You're the master of opulence. What if all of this is just bullshit so you can find a way to make yourself feel better until you croak, ya slime pisser?"

"All the meat of my body has been wrung dry in this infernal place." Jeryn shuddered. "All I want... all I want in this goddess-forsaken life is a warm bed to sleep on..." He smiled crookedly. "...while I drift away in the sastisfaction that Chandler's been burnt to a crisp for all his damnable smugness."

Theanim leaned back, rubbing his chin in thought.

"So what will it be, Professor?" Jeryn wheezed. "Win win? Or lose lose?" He shrugged. "Either way, the only thing you stand to gain... is the truth."

Theanim's eyes twinkled.

"Oh goddess dammit..." Echo face-hoofed upside down. "...you went and triggered him."

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