- Member Since 11th Sep, 2015
- offline last seen Sep 11th, 2015
Redtana
Pronouncing my name the way it was intended to be is the closest way to my heart.
Redtana
Joined 11th Sep, 2015 ·
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First story? Let see...
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Nice story.
Great first story!
After Twilight wakes up she'll need to remember to soundproof the room when she next clops.
-YIFF- ... wait... wrong fandom
*squee...*
Aww I love Cutie-clop!!
Loved it!
Not bad :D
Too cute for me to clop to...
Well done
For a clopfic, one sure would hope that there'd be orgasms. ^^
adorable. Short and adorable. It would nice to see this continue as Twilight learns more of the world of pleasure.
Oh my gosh, can you imagine Twilight later that day. She'd probably run up to her friends all excited and practically shouting, "Girls! Girls! Have you any idea how amazing masturbation is!?"
Not bad. You might want to get an editor, though for your first effort this is quite good. Some dialog would have been good, even if it just consisted of internal monologue or moans. Also, remember to engage the senses as much as possible. Describe what she's feeling, maybe, increased heart rate. Smell is important too. Remember, Twilight is a scientist, the whole process would fascinate her. You might also consider how your paragraphs are broken down. Large blocks of text are not fun to read.
Keep it up, you have some talent, now you need to refine it.
XD course it's gonna be good c:
and then spike walked in
Nice! Very nice! I loved it. Well done
Have fun.
Very well written and read
6417936
unless it's an orgasm denial fic