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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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So here it is, a brand new story! Once again featuring a changeling Infiltrator.
I'm getting to do some new stuff, though. I've got a female protagonist, which is something I've been wanting to do for a while now. It's first-person, which is a bit of a first for me, though it almost wasn't; Without a Hive would have probably been done in first-person if it wasn't leading into a mutual sequel with Fragments. I'm also tweaking my portrayal of changelings in various ways. For example, Whisper is female, and her ability to sense emotions is more specific, among other possible changes.
And of course, the setting, with all the good and ill it brings. Action, adventure, creepy decaying ruins of the old world; Whisper is going to have a difficult time ahead of her.
Though I'd like to note, I don't intend to make this some long chain of suffering and misfortune for her. She will likely have a hard time of things--this is the Wasteland, after all!--but it's not going to be some unrelenting train-wreck of misery. Her situation may look bleak, but I can promise there will be good to go with the bad.
So far, I'm having a lot of fun writing this. The setting, the situation, all of it. It's interesting writing a character that's very good at dealing with stressful and possibly life-and-death situation, without being a good fighter. Hopefully Whisper can put those good wordy Infiltrator skills to good use!
So, welcome to The Chrysalis. I've got a lot planned for this. I hope you enjoy the ride.
I'm all for a FoE fic where there is no never ending train of pain and misfortune. Project: Harmony is driving me up the wall with that insanity... though I'm addicted to it.
I'll fav this and see where you spin this yarn!
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Oooh, a FO:E story from you? Nifty!
[edit] You need better contrast on your title pic, though. You can barely see there is a title, on the thumbnail.
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Oh, I got a pretty mild one, too, if you're interested. Adventure and comedy, heck, bordering on Slice of Life, with a side order of ancient dug up sads.
This is so fucking good...!
6606682 If you want real heartbreak, Hit up Murky #7. I'm waiting to eventually tackle that 50k word chapter.. someday. Horizons never clicked from the author, or the story. I loved FoE, and many of the lighter or darker ones its inspired. But, that one struck me wrong.
6606863 Well, I really do think it is waaaay darker than the orginal FOE. However, I hated how it ended. I'm hoping all the dark crap in Horizons eventually has a happy ending, or I think I shall be displeased with it in the end. I like the story, there are some parts of it I find darker than it needs to be.
6606871 There's a good way to do dark. But it goes Pitch black for the dark. I love murky for being where its situated, especially since its aimed at the fallout 3 expansion of The Pit. And it delivers that kind of bleak, and yet the moments of brightness are glorious too. And it's, well, ive had to set it down and read something nice and fluffy after a few chapters. But murky is like a 1-99 prize fighter thats made it to the champs, it doesn't matter who you are, you keep rooting for him to win. It's just one of those stories you process very very slowly.
Anyhow, this goes into the insta-faves. I know you do well with changelings, and that you are doubling down with foe. Good luck with writing this!
Heck of an ending on this chapter. Bravo. Just bravo.
Man, this is long. May take me a while, busy day.
I was afraid to no get more of your high quality lings, but you are doing it again, and in a perfect fallout story,no less
I am eager to read more :)
Hah!
Oh. Yikes
Wellp now. Do these messages have date stamps?
Ohey. Date stamps!
Looks like their strings file loading failed, there. That looks about the same as my error messages when the system can't find the translations of coded message strings in the program's language files. Though my fallback system at least puts a space between the code string and the value
On that note, it's peculiar how that last on does have that space, though. It's a bit of an inconsistency. Might wanna fix that
Ah yes. Time to get that truth laid out in front of you in cold, hard numbers.
Welp. That's a bunch. Better get reading!
Hmm. So these guys went for changeling stasis cocoons instead, somehow. This actually makes it likely that the Queen was simply working with them. It would explain how she was there, anyway. Probably because Stable-Tec wasn't too concerned about making a changelings Stable
Let's hope it's local enough that you can get away from it
And, when going into literally completely unknown territory... might be safer to have it.
Please welcome on the stage... the new Death Metal band... SHOWER OF FILTH!
Achievement unlocked: TOOL USE!
Sure. Until you remember the "two hundred years" detail.
So, I'm wondering... You never actually describe how she takes the box along. It'd be far more reasonable for her to use some of the cables from these egg pods to hang it over her back or neck than to levitate it in her magic the whole time.
I'd say you're missing primo looting opportunity, but then again, chances of finding more love there to feed on are probably pretty slim.
If "hooked up" means "closed and possibly occupied", you might want to check them for survivors, because they might just have powered down together with yours then
Woo! Obstacle conquered! Wings ftw!
Oh, wow. What a gigantic shame.
Ah, so normal food does help, then? Alas, being MRE's, I very much doubt they were made with love
Yikes. That means there was violence inside the complex...
Only, it wasn't the Ministry of Morale. It was the equivalent of a Stable Call.
...what?
But... who would... why would either side even bother?
Hmm. So, unless this is an inaccuracy, that places it after Littlepip royally screws over the Enclave?
And a little more irradiated, no doubt...
Achievement unlocked: BACKPACK!
How thoughtful of you to specify
I dunno. That's not all that horrible; do remember that ponies kept sapient cows.
She's gonna get shot. So calling it.
Well, unless you bump into some sane bicentennial ghoul, or if you happened to meet Spike two centuries ago, you're probably safe
Yeeah... that'll go well. You don't even have the basic world facts to build a backstory on, lass
Sunshine... and rainbows. And very suspicious towards anything coming from the sky. I think we have a time frame!
Well, at least you didn't change into a pegasus
Remarks and corrections:
> Why else would she still be laying here
> but I couldn’t just leave them, laying there, abandoned.
"lying", on both.
> I would have gladly laid down and slept
"lain down". (Have a lovely little guide!)
> I drug the husk over to join the others
I'm fairly sure the past tense of "to drag" is "dragged"
> I had been flying
Missing a period at the end.
> After a couple minute’s rest
Should be "After a couple [minutes'] rest"
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That was actually intentional, as kind of a joke to anyone familiar with coding. "CoolBugz" just quickly hacked together some code, so it would output the (very basic) name and values... he just forgot to add a space in there when formatting the output string. I'd originally intended for them to be different, where he remembered to add the space in the main line when he'd forgotten for the others, but I suppose it'll probably work better without that. Changed.
Ah. I hadn't thought it important to mention, but since she mentiones avoiding the use of magic when possible, she's carrying around it in her mouth. I slipped in a casual mention of that, now.
Tastes like indifference and boredom. But yes, normal food helps. Or more, they need regular food as well (That gets a minor mention in-story, though not until the beginning of chapter 3).
Shhhh. They could be alive. Maybe in some other facility. Just... not here. For reasons. But they could still be alive!
Reasons.
What, you've never heard of cows with guns?
(Oh god why do I remember these things? )
Damnit English! Every time I think I've finally got things figured out, I end up tripping over something else. And participles can just go themselves!
Aaand then there's this stuff. Yeah, you're right. Dragged is the correct way. Drug is an uncommon variant used in some areas, and I hear it a fair bit, but I'd rather use the more common version.
(Hah! I even replied to the right chapter this time! Haha! )
Oh shit. Liked and faved.
Well, at this point, it probably wouldn't really matter if she just downright said she had been following them for a while but was unsure how to introduce herself, given their well-armed state and her complete lack of arms.
What'd I say? Lacking an entire world of backstory
Heehee. Sunshine and rainbows, all right
Wait. Maybe it were the Sonic Rainboom shockwaves that actually caused the failures that woke her up?
...well. More likely it was the crashed whatever outside the door, actually
She's a smooooth playah!
Ahh. The Giggle State of Exhaustion. I'm familiar with that.
Heh. Headwear
Sneaky!
Ohey. The quiet one likes her
Offer to share! You know you wanna!
Hah!
No, really? What gave it away?
"'Scuse me, lady? This is a two-person nuzzle."
Littlepip, get yo rear in gear, girl! You got weather to manage
On a related note, a little-realized fact is that the destruction of the cloud cover was most likely accompanied by a rain of cloud-grown crops all falling down to the wasteland. The Day of Cabbage and Carrots Rain!
Romantic! Together in the rain!
I ship it. Dun care she's a love sucking bug. I ship it.
Oh! Well now. That means one of the towers malfunctioned and blew up from the stress of the Sonic Rainboom?
Welp. There goes that ship. Thoroughly sunk.
Oh-kay. This has gone officially tits-up
Hah! Her cattle.
Welcome to the Wasteland! Here's your complimentary t-shirt. It may be made of pony hide. I dunno. I just took it off that dead raider over there.
Well. Yikes
Remarks and corrections:
> I figure having one piece with a bit more range and punch should compliment that nicely, don’t you?
"compl[e]ment".
> I wanted to just lay there for a while
"just [lie] there"
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Good for you!
Ohgods, what did I just watch
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That awkward moment when the strange new pony starts drooling over your moment of affection with your partner...
Oh dear.
Yeah, I sunk that one deeper than the Titanic. Sorry.
Eeeyup. It's been an all-around wonderful day, hasn't it?
Oh yeah, another thing I love about English. Words that sound the same but mean something different, so I occasionally screw up and write the wrong one. Almost as good as words that are spelled the same, but sound different. Freaking Homage...
How do I keep doing this...
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To be fair, I actually had to look up the laid/lain one in the previous chapter. I knew "laid" wasn't correct, but I had no clue what the right one was
Really good story, this is the first fallout equestria side fic i've read and you didn't disappoint. It'll be really interesting to see where this goes.
Holy shit. That got intense quickly. I had been worried that I was setting my expectations too high for a story I hadn't read anything of yet, but this instead exceeded my expectations rather decisively. I'm really looking forward to what comes next!
I suppose she must be related to Frosty Winds.
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Heh, I forgot about her! Although given her history with changelings and general danger to everyone around her, Whisper may want to stay well away!
I haven't read an FO:E story in like, a year and a half. And i believe I'm going to enjoy this one.
...certainly more than Whisper is enjoying her day
6614909 your comment reminds me, I have got be so far behind in Project Hotizons by now.
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I've read about half of it. I'm currently waiting for the Fimfic version to complete uploading so I can read it as an .epub on my phone.
6616681 i believe i was around chapter 45 or so, but couldn't tell you what was going on.
I was tempted to title this chapter "Random Encounters", since the idea amused me, but I figured that might be a little misleading.
Wohoo! an update! And huh, that a reference to horizons in wondering? But interesting start none the less.
Hah!
I guess some of these Stables really messed up their inhabitants
Thank goodness (and LittlePip) this is post-Goddess
Ah. News of these developments don't seem to have reached her
I honestly expected the scene change to be followed by them being sniffed by a curious alicorn
Ahh. That wonderful, wonderful shapeshifting ability. So useful in war times. Irresistible, really, especially given the Zebras and their stealth cloaks. Yeah, they'd be guinea pigs all right
Ooh. Are we in for some spectacular Alicorn vs Raider Scum combat?
Aww. No raider slaughter.
Umm. That sounds suspiciously like "lair of some beast" to me...
Well, really, food that's abandoned is just wasting away there. Better that someone use it than that no one can use it.
Well, crap
Lair of some beast, indeed! Yikes. To be honest, now I'm somewhat wondering what made her decide not to kill off these two trespassers.
...maybe she was just tired and sleepy, I guess
Well, what if those ponies were raiders, and she was being paid by the head?
My bets are on "thoroughly uncivilized bounty hunter" at the moment. Heck, might be an ex-raider who found a promising change of career.
Welp. Food source secured. If they manage to rest up a bit, that is.
Aww. The ending there was really cute.
...It's weird to describe a chapter that contains a bag of severed pony heads as being "cute". But that's Fallout: Equestria for you, I guess.
Looking forward to the next chapter!
She isn't raider or bounty hunter, thats heads are just her dinner ;D
Awww the heart aching bittersweet mix of a fallout equestria mix with the spice of love bugs.... Delicious
Finally caught up. Yay, now I can wait on cliffhangers! :)
Very daring, introducing a whole bunch of ponies and letting us get to know them and then wiping them all out. Chapter 2 exceeded the body count of all of your other stories combined (in fact, I can only think of one fatality in your other stories offhand).
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Hopefully won't have to wait too long! Next chapter is just waiting on editing, and I'm already a fair way through writing the next!
I'm guessing that one was Ceymi? What is it with me and making interesting characters just to kill them off immediately? Though I think Without a Hive still holds the record; there were also the two soldiers and about a dozen nymphs along with her. But I'm sure that record won't hold for long...
6653814 Oh, wow, I completely forgot about the massacre at the beginning of Without a Hive. :) I was thinking of the assassin that got killed in A New Way. I was really hoping Twilight would get a chance to hang out with her after peace broke out, so I guess that stuck with me.
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Ah, yes! That would have been a wonderfully awkward conversation, wouldn't it? "Sooo... you were trained to kill me, huh?"
6653937 I've always imagined it'd be pretty awesome, actually. Twilight would get to hang out with someone who has intensively studied all of her personal interests. It's like she was training to be Twilight's best friend. I imagine if anyone would be weirded out it'd be the assassin.
Edit: Oh, I should probably say something more about this story while I'm in its comments section, rather than continuing to ramble on about your previous story.
Um. Good thing they got away from that crazy pony with the bag full of heads, I'm sure we'll never see her again and her head-bag wasn't significant? Yeah, that seems likely. :)
6654039
Yep, no chance of ever running into her again. Just some random encounter thrown in to fill time, no reason to any of it. Nope, nope, nope. She couldn't possibly have any influence on the rest of the story at all.
(On a completely unrelated note, we seriously need an liar-jack emote!)
So this is very late in the fallout world's first storyline, huh. Very interesting. And I'm wondering when the double cross is going to occur.
Hey guy, the whole damn world already went to shit.
Didn't the Raptors fall on the Day of Sunshine and Rainbows? That happened a few days ago in this story. What's happening over there?
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Some did, but not all. The Epilogue talks about it tearing "most" of the remaining (About 20 or less) Raptors out of the sky, and that the rest rejoined with the surviving Thunderheads. So the enclave probably still has two Thunderheads and 5-10 Raptors. Minus one Raptor, now.
I took lots of notes on my last read-through.
That sounds like some pegasi wanted to stay in the sky, some pegasi wanted to not, and the first group decided to expedite the others' wishes.
Somehow this didn't get favorited. I corrected that mistake and now I'm catching up.
That bad, eh?
Well, the place is called "Rust", y'know. That implies water and iron
They're raiders, though... chances are they already cut that off themselves, for shits 'n' giggles.
She's adjusting quite well. That's the Wastelander Mindset
This is so cold and calculated and yet so heartwarming at the same time
Yikes. I think having them cleaned out in pony shape is preferable
Given Whisper's somewhat sedated state, Star should really have specifically mentioned that
Ah. Megaton-inspired design? Nice. I think No One did that too with the place
SilverHired Gun originally came from (though back when I read that I had never laid eyes on Megaton, so I had no clue).Oh, ouch. A harsh and loveless world
She's better with livestock
Well, there are bound to be a lot of interesting parts in the complex she came from. Unfortunately, between Rust and there is confirmed raider territory
I bet
Uh-oh. Those never bode well
They sure are practical people
Betcha it'll be a baking hell once you get some decent sunshine... especially since the cloud cover means the whole settlement was made out of plate steel without any direct sunshine in mind
Wait, what? Who is this guy? The only "professional soldiers" left are the Steel Rangers and the remnants of the Enclave
You never described whether he had a horn, or was wearing any clothing that could hide wings...
Hah. "where" as in "environment". She's good!
A little subtle changeling mindbending magic?
Surprise bonus salvage?
...what? Stop looking at me like that
Mad props for using "defiantly loosing" in a way that's entirely correct
Remarks and corrections:
> Other than a few day's worth of food
Possessive and plural: "a few [days'] worth of food"
> complimented by a pair of large saddlebags.
Should probably be "complemented". Unless you actually mean the saddlebags make him look good.
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Heh, now I'm getting the image of coming across a group of raiders who are all missing their right ears. "Well, we ran into some hard times recently and needed the caps..."
That's probably the most entertaining part of writing a changeling character.
Kind of half that, half general shanty-town inspired. I've always liked vertical elements in structures and settlements, and it made sense to me that, once they filled out the space inside the main walls, it'd be easier to build up than out.
Huh! I'd originally put in mention that he was an earth pony, but it seems I removed that bit. I added it back in.
Dusty knows how to accessorize! (Aaand fixed. Oops )
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And then they all die because they barely hear from that side, and get flanked from the right side... by some, afterwards, very disappointed bounty hunters
So I've been playing Fallout 4, and I've been finding a few similarities between it and what I have planned. It's partially amusing, but also a little concerning at times. There's certainly a lot I hadn't planned. When I started planning out this story, the only thing I knew about Fallout 4 that the two shared in common was that the main character lived before the "end of the world".
I mainly mention it because of a couple things mentioned in this chapter that made me take note of those similarities. One are the pipe guns, which I'd actually brought in from a post-apocalyptic roleplaying campaign I had worked up, as it made sense to have some cheapo weapons made post-war. The other is the PipBuck with a latch instead of a lock. There's an in-universe reason why that kind of PipBuck exists, even if it isn't mentioned yet. So they do have more reason to exist than just "Fallout 4 did it", even if I can't say exactly what they are (I don't plan on giving spoilers, even if they are minor ones). I just thought I'd make mention of it, because it's been a mix of being amused by the similarities and pleased with the differences.
Raider camp: Check.
Raiders: Not check.
I smell a ruin-dwelling monster infestation of some kind.
The relative lack of comments on this fic depresses me. Well, I love this story, at least.
"Just a scouting mission." Y'know, when the chapter ends right there, you just know that things will go terribly wrong.
I'm curious about Emerald's reference to the Elements of Harmony. I was under the impression that only Spike and the ponies who knew about the Gardens of Equestria knew about them. Though I might be misremembering.
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I'm a bit disappointed too, but not really surprised. Fallout: Equestria side-stories tend to not get as many views as other stories, since they're essentially a subset of a subset of fiction. I knew this story would get less attention than my other stories, though I wish it wasn't quite so much less. Still, outside of the few big-name Fallout: Equestria stories, there are some really good stories that just don't get the attention they deserve.
I do miss the amount of feedback I got on my other stories, though. But in the end, I'm mostly writing it just because I really like the idea that my brain cooked up. While the lack of feedback and commentary is a bit of a disappointment, I'm having a lot of fun writing this one.
Pfft, nah. Now you're just being paranoid. Nothing could go wrong...
I actually double-checked when writing that scene. There were a few characters who refer to them. Calamity, for example, snarks about himself being the "Element of Generosity" when bartering with a merchant.
I get the impression ponies know of them, but they're more of a history kind of thing. Not exactly a fable, but the kind of old-world thing that's no longer around or that doesn't really apply to the world as it is now. It's hard to see the value of Generosity (Well, from yourself) when you're not sure where your next meal will come from, for example.
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You know you could just made pipboy 2000, and pipe rifles/pistols
vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/fallout/images/7/7f/Springun.gif/revision/latest?cb=20150426003540 vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/fallout/images/b/bd/Tactics_zip_gun.png/revision/latest?cb=20130109144339
Are nothing new, but I have felling you never played fallout 1 and 2 and only went through fanfic or 3/4/nv
Huh. The pegasi split off during the war, though, as far as I remember. Probably some time before the megaspells. I imagine that would've been all over the news in Equestria
Yeah... reasons like the fact Littlepip just blew all their comfort out of the sky
Give it time
Well, that took considerably less time than I thought
Yeah, that didn't take long. Of course, it's a matter of perspective, seeing as most of the Enclave citizens were never even told the wasteland was inhabitable...
They just lost an airship. Seeing as this area is still covered, I'm kinda betting on in-fighting over the last remaining pieces of cloud cover
Yaaay...
I was thinking that too!
Alright. Fair point
Wowza
Hee, nice
He's totally thinking "Huh. Trouble in paradise?"
An excellent point
Careful. Those fuckers are known to leave traps.
Wheee! Action!
Remarks and corrections:
> Emerald runs the store and inn, you'll meet her if you're looking for supplies.
Comma splice. That should be a semicolon, not a comma.