This is complete? It seems like there should be quite a bit more - a confrontation between Dash and her dad being the most obvious thing.

>>658663658663

I hadn't planned on continuing it. I was just exploring that specific idea, though I'm not necessarily opposed to continuing.

^It would be good if you continued this.

I agree. This should be continued mate.

This was really good, and the emotional connection between Rainbow Dash and her Dad is really shown. However, the characters seem of a little out of character, but it is acceptable to me of this case, to really drive the story and to make of the how serious the situation is. Very well done. I would like to see this continue later in the future. (Chapter Rating: 9.5/10)

I found RD to be a tiny bit off character. Other than that, I liked it :3

This is different from what I normally read but I think it's a good idea, I hope you do continue it

... as Applejack’s strong, powerful, and quick applebucking legs snapped into Rainbow Dash’s hands...  

>>659801659801

Good catch! Going to edit...

[img]http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/obama-not-bad-face-288x250.jpg[/img

That was actually pretty cool

It's good, but sorry, when I read RD's ramblings I got a image of Rainbow Mordin in my head.

And now I have Scientist Salarian playing in it.

"I am the very Model of a Scientist Salarian. I studied Species Turian, Asari and Batarian..."

>>660334660334

Yeah, I kind of got that vibe when I wrote it too. Unfortunately, this story was inspired by true events, and so I kept it close to what actually happened.

>>660594660594

Then I hope they learned how to deal with it.

Needs more... everything. Dashie's dad has to be tried for his crimes.

>>659801659801

Rainbow has hands?

HOLY SHIT GLKJLGAGJHADSLKJDFHLDASJKHKLJFHASJLKFHJLKHSADFLKJDSAHG;ASDGH'SDAGLSADF;LKASDGLALFLASDJFLKASD;LF GASDJ I WANT A PAIR

Old Man's gonna cop a beatin'

This is awesome! Sad story though but well written.

This interests me.

FireFlash approves.

INCREDIBLE job on the 17/0 likes/dislikes. I had a 9/0 last time i checked mine.

>>697533697533

Ha ha, thanks! To be honest, I'm surprised how much people have liked it. For the serious, sad story that it is, it's been very well received.

Wow, just touching and emotional. I can feel the pain coming from Rainbow Dash, the words come out of the page, and they try to punch to hurt me back. That is how much pain I feel personally. The 3rd story, so far that I've read, that made me cry.

To put this is one word: Flawless. (Chapter Rating: 11/10)

I really like the story! I really love it!

keep up the good work!

>>698407698407

Well, if this chapter made you feel her pain, next chapter you'll feel her anger. Spoilers...

>>699967699967 nooooo spoiler=bad now i want next chapter

>>699989699989

Good news is, I had the the entire morning off today, so the chapter is written. I'll spend the next few days editing and improving the chapter, and it should be posted soon. I probably should have actually edited and revised this chapter, I'm cringing looking back on it and noting the terrible flow of the chapter. Oh well, live and learn.

>>700757700757 i dont care i wants moar

Awesome!

love the chapter! well done on the fighting scene! love every bit of it!

keep up the good work!

He's gonna die in a hospital bed.

I know this is a Horrable thing to say, but that fucker better die!

>>708348708348

Dash certainly agrees with you. We'll see if she gets what she wants next chapter...

Wow.... Just wow. I LOVE IT! Although plenty of other stories have focused on Dashe's fillyhood, this one is by FAR the best. Good job!

>>726237726237

Ha ha, thanks! One of the reasons I decided to write it is that I have never seen anyone else write about any of the characters in this light.

love the story/ chapter... If you plan on finishing it beforehand, don't rush it!

I think it might be better to just put it on hiatus.

keep up the good work

I'd say just do what you can before you leave but without rushing, and if you don't finish it by then, put it on hiatus and come back to it when you return.

Do what you can but if you must put it on hiatus then so be it.

I would love this story too finsh before you leave but i don't want it to be rushed ethier so it's really up to you.

Finish the story plllllllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee, I love it!

Hey. HEY. HEY! You edited this chapter! Without telling me!

>>776730776730

I did indeed. I'll tell you now that I'll be editing chapter two in the next few days. (I never reviewed either of the first two chapters before submitting, so I decided to spit-shine them).

I like the story... But honestly, it doesn't feel finished at all... not even close..

>>785057785057

Yeah, I know. There's a lot of different things that I haven't explored that could be explored. But I know I won't have the time to do anything about with the story very shortly. If you really want to this to continue, I'd be fine with letting someone keep working on this while I am busy elsewhere.

Wonderful ending to a wonderful story. You have my applause.

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

loved it! great work!

would've wanted to know how her children reacted

keep up the good work!

I really wish she had slated her father during the funeral and told everyone what he was really like. I could even imagine the speech she would say.

I hate the idea that when bad people die, they suddenly become good people.

Still, apart from that, an interesting story.

>>855907855907

I wasn't trying to have her give in, but more of control learn to control her frustration with her father. That's what I was going for.

Great story, seemed to have a lot of emotional gaps tho...

There's a special place in Tartarus set aside for anypony that purposefully makes Fluttershy cry. Better be on your best behavior, RD