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  • E Worlds Apart

    A lonely young man takes in Shining Armor and Cadance after he finds them on their doorstep, stranded from their own world. After becoming friends, the two ponies help the man open up to a woman he's attracted to.
    32,953 words · 8,151 views  ·  475  ·  30
  • T Sparké

    A human chef looking to open a restaurant in New York gets more than he bargained for when he winds up in Equestria. While there, he reacquaints with somepony from his past...
    77,413 words · 3,176 views  ·  362  ·  24 · sex
  • T Rehabilitation

    After managing to survive the rise and fall of Heisenberg, Jesse Pinkman, his mind and body shattered seemingly beyond repair, winds up in a place where he may finally be able to rest...
    5,849 words · 652 views  ·  112  ·  13 · gore
  • E Yu-Gi-Oh! P†H

    In an alternate reality in which dueling is Earth's greatest pastime, one duelist receives a mysterious card that unlocks his destiny that will lead him to becoming the savior of two worlds...
    247,599 words · 947 views  ·  54  ·  18
  • E Yu-Gi-Oh! Equus X Zexal

    A crossover of the anime Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal and my fanfic Yu-Gi-Oh! Equus.
    128,877 words · 1,965 views  ·  52  ·  21
  • E Yu-Gi-Oh! Equus

    An aspiring duelist's life changes forever when the world of Equestria appears near Earth.
    221,490 words · 2,516 views  ·  81  ·  49
  • T A Dramatic Turn of Events

    A famous real-life rock band from Earth winds up in Equestria.
    25,327 words · 995 views  ·  22  ·  10
  • T Yu-Gi-Oh! Friendship is Magic

    103,741 words · 1,039 views  ·  25  ·  25

Blog Posts98

  • Thursday
    One of the Greatest Stories Ever Written

    My dad found this one back when I was in 6th grade, and it still makes me howl with laughter.

    Recently I was honoured to be selected as an outstanding famous celebrity in Texas, to be a judge at a Chili cook-off, because no one else wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me that I could have free beer during the tasting. So I accepted.

    Here are the scorecards from the event:

    CHILI # 1: MIKE'S MANIC MONSTER CHILI

    JUDGE ONE: A little to heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.

    JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.

    FRANK: Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with this stuff. I needed two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one. Those Texans are crazy.

    CHILI # 2: ARTHUR'S AFTERBURNER CHILI

    JUDGE ONE: Smokey, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.

    JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavour. Needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

    FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave of two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre. They had to walkie-talkie in three extra beers when they saw the look on my face.

    CHILI # 3: FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI

    JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.

    JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili. A bit salty. Good use of red peppers.

    FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced.

    CHILI # 4: BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC

    JUDGE ONE: Black Bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

    JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods. Not much of a chili.

    FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear-waste I'm eating.

    CHILI # 5: LINDA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER

    JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

    JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

    FRANK: My ears are ringing, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly from a pitcher onto it. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Fuckin' Rednecks! ! !

    CHILI # 6: VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY

    JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.

    JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions and garlic.

    FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!

    CHILI # 7: SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI

    JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

    JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum. Tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge # 3.

    FRANK: You could put a fucking Grenade in my mouth, pull the fucking pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my fucking mouth. My pants are full of lava-like shit, to match my fucking shirt. At least the during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the four inch hole in my stomach.

    CHILI # 8: HELEN'S MOUNT SAINT CHILI

    JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending. This is a nice blend chili, safe for all; not too bold, but spicy enough to declare its existence.

    JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good balanced chili, neither mild now hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank.

    3 comments · 47 views
  • Monday
    Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks Review

    13 comments · 77 views
  • 1w, 1d
    Are You Motherfucking Serious?


    You know, I'm now actually compelled to watch it in its entirety.

    2 comments · 62 views
  • 1w, 2d
    There, I Finally Fucking Saw It!

    8 comments · 105 views
  • 2w, 3d
    That Was Trippy

    1 comments · 49 views
  • ...
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#1 · 124w, 2d ago · · ·

oh gawd....      OH GAWDDD!! if you dont mind I'll pass

#2 · 124w, 2d ago · · ·

..........it'd be benficial for to luna stay long as she wants......till necessary for the gift.......>.>.......umm......to pass the time with on "breaks".......

#3 · 124w, 2d ago · · ·

I have to admit, I was apprehensive at first, until you changed the CMC into adults. No lolicon here!

Might I suggest Cheerilee next? She doesn't get nearly enough love.

#4 · 124w, 2d ago · · ·

Leo Archon im with you or even Derpy just for some comic relief :derpytongue2:

#6 · 124w, 1d ago · · ·

Have Trixie be next, that would entertain me to no end.

#8 · 123w, 5d ago · · ·

From this point forward, the next pony in any given chapter will be picked by lottery. This way, you can't be mad at me for choosing the next pony the protagonist has sex with; you can be mad at fate. :ajsmug:

#10 · 100w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

.......well at least they aged but remember that ((philosophical rant) because, no one wants to hear a half page rant) and that's why pedophilia is  bad

#11 · 49w, 6d ago · · ·

So this is another round he wouldn't have cleared without an earlier bonus. I wonder what problems await ahead...

Comment posted by DemonicPeach deleted at 12:37pm on the 23rd of January, 2014
#13 · 5w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

Not a fan of this 'filly-to-mare' spell...

i prefer them young.

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