The Grand Crimson Gala

by MagentaBloom

Chapter 1

Author's Note:

This is the first chapter in my very first fanfiction EVER! Please point out any errors and help me to make the rest the best it can be! Thanks so much for reading!

The Grand Galloping Gala. The most superiffic, wonder-mazing, party this side of equestria! The parties, balloons, and streamers would make any super duper party pony proud. So, how is it that I walk through the ornate doors of the Canterlot Palace to find a sophisticated, snobbish, and downright BORING gathering in its place? I’m Crimson Gala, this year’s Gala director… and it’s all my fault.

Chapter 1

“ Apple Fritter, get those pastries on the table before you drop ‘em! We all know how clumsy ya are-”
CRASH!
“Gosh darnit Fritter,” I facehoof, “Go and get some more food from the kitchen! We’re on a tight schedule here, ponies! The Gala starts in approximately 3 hours!”
As a frazzled Apple Fritter rushes off to find a fresh tray of apple sweets, I take a quick glance at the metal clipboard in my hooves.

“Drinks...check! Entertainment...check! Decorations…?” I look up from my checklist to examine the white stone walls of the Palace and discover a horrifying sight! I scream, “The decor!”, the clipboard flies out of my hooves . “Hurry, someone call the interior decorator!”
I grab the shoulders of a passerby and shake them senseless. “ Did the party supplies arrive from Manehattan? Where’s the Gala banner? Why are the castle walls still absolutely, positively, undisputedly bare?” The pony slips from my grasp as I sink to the floor in despair. The pink earth pony shakes her head, eyes still spinning from the shaking. “ I don’t know about the party supplies, but I know somepony who can help you find the banner.” she squeaks in a nasally voice. “ Twinkleshine was on the phone with the Las Pegasus Art Depo earlier this morning. If anypony were to know the answers to your questions it would be her!” I rocket to my hooves and gallop off in search of Twinkleshine without another word. “A ‘thankyou’ would be nice!” the worker hollers, shaking a hoof in the air as I recede from view.

Right, left, right, right. The castle corridors seem endless. I rush by door after door, bumping into a Royal Guard along the way.
BAM! BANG! CLANG!
The impact leaves him sprawling on the floor, his heavy armor scraping along the tile. I fly through the air and head face first into a stairwell. A noise barely escapes my muzzle before I am sent tumbling down flights of seemingly endless stairs. I roll into a hallway as a pink and green blur. Ponies in tall white hats dive out of the way as I barrel through a set of double doors leading into the kitchen. The chefs jump in alarm as I, Crimson Gala, plow through the room! “Watch out! The cake!” somepony screams as I ram straight into the 5 foot tall Gala cake being prepared for this evening. I slide to a stop, covered in frosted flowers and sticky sweetness! “What in the world happened,” I thought. I tried to stand on shaky legs only to slip on the white icing smeared across the flooring. “Ze MMMM!” a griffin baker shouts! “Ze Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness has been destroyed!” He points a threatening talon at me before snatching back his claws and storming off in a wild rage! “No one destroys ze delectable delicacies of ze magnificent Gustave le Grand! Not even you Gala director!”
The other cake splattered chefs gawk at me in silence, but I know we’re all thinking the same thing. Can there be a Gala without a cake? And how could I be careless enough to let that happen?

I slowly collect my bearings and stumble out of the kitchen, the heat of stares searing into my back. I couldn’t look anypony in the eye, especially not looking like a pony pastry myself! Gustave left a trail of overturned tables and smashed food platters in the wake of his anger. That means i’m back to square one on food. I don’t know how i’m going to pull off the gala. I have NO food, no decorations, and WORST OF ALL there is no MMMM for the guests to enjoy! I sigh, “But before I get back to work I need to get the stickiness out of my mane.” I head up a set of stairs and make my way outside. I exit the castle and followed a grey cobblestone path to the Royal Bath. The cobbles lead through the Gardens and I trotted along to the tune of cheerful birds chirping in the treetops. “Howdy do, Miss Gala!” an old brown pony yells from behind a set of hedges. I wave hello to Mr. Greenhooves, the gardener, and continue on my way. As I pass under a cluster of trees I feel something tugging in my mane. I shake my head and a cuddly squirrel plops onto the soft grass near my hooves. “I’m sorry little squirrel,” I whisper” I didn’t mean ta scare ya.” Despite my gentle tone the creature scampers off into a flower bed. I shrug. “These lil’ beasts were always a mite shy. The varmint did get some cake out of my mane ,though,” I think with a smile. I reach the entrance to the Royal Bath and take a moment to soak it all in.

No matter how many times I visit, the Royal Bath takes my breath away each time. Large doors with golden handles that stretch the length of the doorframe stand out in the front of the round building. Large colored windows that ring the outside filter light to give the inside a soft amber glow. I open the doors and step into the luxurious retreat. White and gold accents soothe my senses as a pair of blue and pink ponies rush to guide me towards a tub. Together, they each take a hoof and I ease into the warm, bubbling water. I sink in up to my eyes and I feel Aloe and Lotus massaging the sugary mess out of my coat. It’s time for the worries to melt away....

After an hour rest at the Royal Bath, I leave rejuvenated and ready to take on the Gala planning. I walk along the path to the castle and rejoin the hustle and bustle of the Gala prep teams. It seems operations have run smoothly since I left, even Apple Fritter has the few remaining food trays in a neat row on a table. Two gruff looking stallions tote an extravagant ice statue on their backs and I just barely skirt around them. I weave through a cluster of pegasi and nearly collide with a blue mare. At that moment, I spot somepony I didn’t expect to see. It was none other than Twinkleshine in all her pink maned glory!
“Twinkleshine!” I called, “Twinkleshine, wait!”
The unicorn continued in the opposite direction as I struggled against an ever increasing crowd. The castle grounds were becoming more crowded as the Gala drew closer and I barely had room to breathe, much less chase after Twinkleshine. I watched the mare canter away, along with my hopes of a successful Gala...but wait! I can’t let this setback beat me! In a burst of pride, I buck my back legs out and charge dead ahead! Ponies swerve to avoid a collision as I dash past. “Twinkleshine!” I put on an extra burst of speed.
I’m no more than three pony’s lengths away from Twinkleshine when the Ice statue stallions cross my path. I immediately slam my rump onto the cold tile to slow myself, but it’s not enough! My hooves skid along the floor and I slide straight into the stallions. They try to protect the statue, an elegant alicorn, most likely to be Celestia, as it launches upwards. The colossal structure spirals through the air until--- KRA-CRACK!
The once beautiful art sticks the landing and sends shattered shards flying like a million icy darts.

The entire hall went silent. I felt as though the entire world was boring their eyes into my embarrassing, clumsy soul. I blushed and stood still, as though I were trying to replace the frozen alicorn statue with that of a meek earth pony. That moment stretched on until a call broke the deadly quiet.
“Special delivery for Crimson Gala!”
I followed the sound of the voice to a grey pegasus mail carrier with a large cardboard box. “Your Manehattan party supplies have arrived ma’am,” the pegasus states, as her eyes wander off in opposite directions. “but there’s a slight problem…”
“Don’t worry about it,” I say, “Nothing could make this day any worse.”
The mailmare gestures behind her and my eyes widen in shock! The Gala banner has also arrived and was in the process of being hung by a pegasus, but a range of holes perforated the fabric.
“ The ice shards must have pierced the banner when it shattered on the ground,” I concluded.

The mailmare passed me the box of party supplies and flew out of sight...and speaking of out of sight, i’ve lost my visual on Twinkleshine. I guess it doesn’t really matter anymore anyway.
I load the heavy container onto my back and head towards the ballroom to begin the decorating process. As I go along, I grab some of the castle staff from their tasks to assist. A pegasus, two earth ponies, and a unicorn. Upon entering the ballroom, I dump the cardboard box onto the floor and bust it open with my forehooves. I’m stunned to see a single blue party cannon within. I look closer and discover a note which reads:
To Pinkie Pie, I hope you’ll enjoy this token of my appreciation. Sincerely, Berry Pinch

“Oh, come on!” I facehoof for the second time that day, “They sent our decorations to the wrong address! Where in Equestria is OUR package?”
A unicorn leans in and examines the letter, which I place in her minty green hooves. “I know Pinkie Pie,” she says, flashing her lyre cutie mark. “Pinkie lives in Ponyville.”
“Then get out there to...Ponyville...and bring back our stuff!”
I shout, my volume levels almost matching that of Princess Luna. The mare, obviously stunned, flattens her ears and gallops away as fast as her legs can carry her. I give a sly look to the remaining pegasus and earth ponies. “For now, lets see what this baby can do,” I declare, laying a hoof on the shiny blue finish of Pinkie’s cannon.

Comments

[Admiral Biscuit]

I hate to be this guy, and I apologize in advance.

Punctuation is your big failing. Quotes are wrong, and I saw a few misplaced commas. The story felt rushed as it bounced from one thing to another. It's also hard to read because you didn't put line breaks between paragraphs or indent. Generally, people prefer the line breaks.

I would advise reading through Ezn's guide, and making those corrections. If possible, find an editor or prereader to help you.

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Aside from that, I'm liking where you appear to be going with the story. You'll probably get some flak from people who don't like the first-person perspective, but ignore them. There is nothing wrong with it.

[MagentaBloom]

Thanks Admiral Biscuit ! I'll try to fix it now that I know what went wrong

[MagentaBloom]

6388266 thanks Admiral Biscuit!

[Admiral Biscuit]

6388609
You're welcome!