• Published 28th May 2012
  • 2,623 Views, 33 Comments

My Little Flash Fiction: Postmodernism is Magic - aaaa_aaaa



A collection of experimental short fics I've written for prompts.

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Equestria Noir

Sitting in my desk after a long day, I lifted the cider mug up to my snout and tipped it in, awaiting the cold taste of apples and friendship. The lukewarm fluid hit my tongue, bombarding my taste buds with the taste of microbial waste. I instantly spat it out, spewing rotten fluid all over my desk.

"SPIKE! Did you mix up the cider again?"

No response.

"Spike?"

Perking my ears up, I heard the sound of soft sobbing. I trotted to the source of the sound - a purple dragon curled up the fetal position, tears pouring out of his eyes.

"What's wrong?"

The troubled dame Spike stammered, "Rarity's missing - we were going to find gems together but I can't find her and Sweetie Bell hasn't seen her either; I've been looking all day!"

"Don't worry Spike, I'm sure we'll be able to find her. But the first thing we need to do is to create a plan."

I focused my horn onto the novelty bubble pipe on my desk to my mouth and took a deep breath out. No bubbles. Great. Another thing missing. I lifted the pipe back onto my desk and grabbed my trusty quill and a sheet of parchment. I dipped the quill into the inkwell and begin to write.

☐ Ask around town to see if anyone's seen Rarity recently
☐ Find clues
☐ Analyze clues to find Rarity's location
☐ Find Rarity

"Now the first thing we need to do is to find out who's seen Rarity recently, and where she was last."

"Sweetie Bell might know - we better get to her now before she forgets!" Spike ran towards the door.

"Didn't you already ask her?"

"Oh. Right," my forgetful assistant responded, stopping in his tracks, "Who else would know?"

"Well Fluttershy might know; but she's at the spa."

"I forgot about the spa! Lets go!"

Spike opened the door and ran out the door. He collided with a luxuriously white unicorn, sending her to the floor. While her face was filled with surprise, it was still just as beautiful as ever, the smooth features a stark contrast to the square buildings in the background. In spite of the dark of dusk, her pure white fur was still bright - almost gleaming. And her mane, in spite of being tangled and dirty continued to shine like a sapphi-- wait I'm getting off topic aren't I?

Anyway...

"Spike! There you are darling! I've been looking for you all day," Rarity exclaimed, "I thought we were going gem hunting today - I couldn't find you at the gem fields."

"I thought we were supposed to meet at your place, sorry." Spike replied, guilt and shame shooting through his face; Rarity watching in confusion.

"Don't worry, it was just a simple misunderstanding. No need to feel guilty. And this looks like another mystery solved in an astonishingly painless, and easy manner," I interjected.

I checked off the last box on the list and said, "Mystery solved!"

"Great! All this searching has me parched - Spike, could you be a dear and fetch me some cider?" Rarity asked.


My Faithful Student Twilight Sparkle,

While I admire your recent explorations into the field of fiction, especially your recent personal additions, I'm afraid that Noir isn't something you should be writing from your own life. However, I am still interested in your recent lessons in friendship, especially regarding Rarity - you have a lot to learn there.

Sincerely,
Your Mentor, Princess Celestia