• Published 27th May 2012
  • 7,459 Views, 175 Comments

Griffin Over the Line - Emeral Bookwise



A Lunaverse fic, where Raindrops must contend with the antics of Rainbow Dash and Gilda.

  • ...
10
 175
 7,459

Chapter 3: "The Inconsiderate Jerk"

The office of the official representative of the Night Court, wherein resided the official representative of the Night Court and personal portage of Princess Luna herself. Trixie was a very important pony who spent each and every day making very important decisions that affected the lives of each and every citizen of Ponyville, or at least that was how it was supposed to work. In reality most of her job involved being little more than a glorified paper pusher. Trixie despised paperwork, as could be attested by the rather large pile sitting to the side of her desk that she was trying very hard to ignore.

The very, very bored mare sat slouched over her desk, azure coat laid bereft of its usual garb, her head resting lazily sideways against the cool wooden surface and horn aglow in an equally lazy aura as she levitated a paddleball. One-by-one she counted off the steady rhythmic beats, her glassy gaze barely alert enough to track the ball as it stretched to the limits of its tether and rebounded only to be sent sailing forth again by the next strike of the paddle.

She supposed that if she was going to neglect her official duties for the afternoon she should at least be using this time to prepare for her upcoming performance, but she found herself far too bored to work up the motivation. Besides, without so much as an audience of one to amaze, what would be the point?

It was at that moment that she saw ripples spread rhythmically from the center of the glass of water on her desk. Then just as she lifted her head to ponder the meaning of this she heard it, the heavy thud, thud, thud as though some great beast from the depths of the Everfree Forest approached. Finally, with a resounding crash her office door was flung open revealing not some hideous monster, though Trixie might well have preferred such. No, instead her eyes beheld a sight of abject terror second only to the Blazing Queen of the Sun herself, or perhaps just maybe that should be the other way around. Before Trixie stood her good friend and fellow Element of Harmony, Raindrops, eyes full of cold murderous fury.

"Trixie, we need to have a serious talk!"

"What!? I've been in my office all day. Whoever you thought you saw, it wasn't Trixie!" blurted the unicorn in a barely coherent panic.

With that the pegasus's seething rage seemed to abate, replaced by puzzled confusion, "Huh?"

Trixie let out a sigh of relief as she wiped her brow, "Oh thank merciful Luna, you're not here for me."

Raindrops cocked her head slightly with a raised eyebrow before pressing, "Why would I be?"

"Uh, no reason," Trixie stammered while purposely averting her gaze, "Forget I even brought it up."

"Right, I think I will, this time," said the pegasus with the barest edge of an underlying threat, "You're lucky I have bigger cakes to bake."

"So what exactly is this about then?"

"Oh come on!" Raindrops vented, "You've got to have heard about all the chaos Rainbow Dash and that griffin friend of hers have been causing."

"Of course I've heard, but I don't see why you're storming in here like you expect me to do anything about it," Trixe then made a point of using her magic to shuffle through some of the paperwork on her desk as though to remind her friend that she had proper official duties to attend. Letting her eyes read, or at least skim, over a random document she then continued in an officiary tone "Pranks and a bit of petty vandalism are rather beneath the Night Court's jurisdictional interests. Just leave it to the mayor or such."

"Only problem with that is that, as usual, the mayor doesn't seem to want to do a damn thing about it," fumed the pegasus as she rolled her eyes, "I swear, Rainbow Dash isn't the only pony whose continuing job security I don't understand."

Never taking her eyes off the document, though still not having much clue what it said, Trixie tried to again make her position in the matter clear, "I still don't see what you expect me to do about it? My job only lets me break ties in the city council and such, not overrule mayoral decisions."

"Well, Gilda is a griffin, surely that's got to make this a big enough concern to the Night Court."

"So what," Trixie asked as she set down her papers and raised an eyebrow, "you just expect me to contact the griffin ambassador and have her kicked out of Equestria?"

"Sounds like a good plan to me, especially if I get to do the kicking," Raindrops punctuated this by making a bucking motion.

"Unfortunately it's not so simple," the unicorn sighed as she shook her head, "Short of a capital offence it would take weeks for that kind of paper work to go through, and from what I've heard this Gilda is only staying through until the end of tomorrow. Besides, the griffins would only laugh off such a request made over only what little she seems to have actually done"

"LITTLE! They almost ruined all of Carrot Top's leftover winter surplus and it's still weeks until the first of her early spring harvests will be ready for market."

Trixie gave a deep frown at that revelation, "Be that as it may, it is still nothing the griffins would make a fuss over."

"WHY IN THE GATES OF TARTARUS NOT?"

────────────────────────────────

"The horror, the horror!" cried a pale earth pony with a rose colored mane and matching cutie mark.

"This is awful!" wailed a pink earth pony whose blond mane was held in place by a lily that matched her own cutie mark.

"A disaster, a horrible, horrible disaster!" concluded a third earth pony with a lime colored mane and sporting another flower themed cutie mark.

The object of the trio's distress was a fenced in and immaculately maintained flower garden. More specifically it was one particular flower in that garden, or to be even more precise it was what currently sat perched atop that flower. A single solitary caterpillar that was munching on the petals, blissfully unaware of the panic it was inciting.

"Quick, get it off before it lays any eggs!"

"Wait, aren't caterpillars too young to lay eggs!"

"That's not important, it might still have brothers and sisters waiting to hatch!"

"We have to check each and every flower, stat!"

As the three mares began to run about in ever mounting panic, they were observed by a pair of watchful eyes from a nearby rooftop.



Gilda scratched her head, "So that's it?"

Sitting next to her, Rainbow Dash shrugged, "Yeah, I guess those three are a little on the easy side. Maybe we should try something a bit more exciting," she than smiled and pointed to the sky, "Last one to that cloud is a rotten egg."

The griffin's response was little more than to take a readied stance before Dash gave a quick three count and they were off.

As the pair of speedsters rocketed through the base to emerge on the other side, Rainbow struck a dramatic pose and gave a celebratory cry, "Yes! Rainbow Dash wins again, and the crowd goes wild!" she gloated, then proceeded to cup her hooves to the side of her mouth as she imitated the roar of an applauding audience "Woo-hoo … Way to go Dash … We love you Rainbow!"

Gilda gave a dismissive wave, "Cha' right, I was way ahead!"

"No way! I'm the fastest pegasus in all Equestria." insisted Rainbow with a pointed stare as she swished a hoof through the air as though holding an imaginary action figure of herself in flight.

"Too bad for you I ain't no pegasus," came the griffin's reply as she sat herself down atop the cloud, "You might be the fastest flier in this little nowheresville, but compared to me you might as well be in ssllooww mmmoootttiiiooonnn," and further emphasized her point by imitating Dash's gesture, only far more slowly.

The pegasus sat down directly opposite her rival and made fierce eye contact, "You're the one who's the slo'mo and if there was somepony else here to keep you honest I could prove it."

"Hey, I'm the most honest griffin in town"

"Gilda?" Rainbow began in slight questioning tone as she tilted her head, "you're the only griffin in town."

"My point exactly," she said with a wide grin.

The two then reclined on the cloud and laughed off the aftermath of their friendly quarrel.

────────────────────────────────

"Alright, I get it, no help from the Griffin Empires," Raindrops rubbed her temples, trying to make sure her head wouldn't explode from all the sociopolitical inanities Trixie had been going over for what felt like the past few days, "There's still got to be something to do about this. We can't just let them get away this. If I hadn't been there to help fast dry everything, Carrot Top could have gone bankrupt."

Trixie sighed, "Is it really all that bad? First off, unless she let her Element get the better of her, Carrot Top should still have plenty of reward money left over from our mutual heroics to tide her over the worst of this."

"Well yeah, but she shouldn't have to use that to clean up Rainbow Dash's mess."

"You didn't wait for me to finish," scolded the unicorn, "Second, it seems one of the better things my predecessor did with his time in this office was to have Rainbow Dash officially classified as an untamable force of nature. So as it turns out any and all damages she causes whether intentionally from pranks, or accidental while training qualify for disaster relief funding as per the Equestrian Environmental Defense Act of 174." Trixie was quite proud of her ability to convey a degree of expertise on the subject, even if technically she hadn't known that little detail until Cheerilee had come in to file a claim for the cleanup costs at the schoolhouse. She wasn't sure where the school teacher picked up such freaky encyclopedic knowledge of the Equestrian legal code, but it certainly came in handy some times.

Raindrops though was merely flabbergasted, "What really? How does that even — never mind, I think I've heard enough legal and political technicalities for one day. Still this has got to be a pretty serious level of damage. I mean, it's not just Carrot Top, Rainbow Dash and Gilda have practically been turning the whole town upside down."

"Actually, I've been over the books, and apparently Rainbow Dash caused quite a bit more property damage that time she volunteered to help Buttercry with the annual bunny census." This bit of info Trixie could actually take full credit for. The event had happened before she ever came to ponyville, but she'd run across it in the files while compiling her report to the Bureau of Animal Affairs in regards to all the burrows that got flooded during Winter Wrap-Up.

"Fluttershy."

"Beg pardon." Trixie queried as she was shaken out her prideful reverie.

"Her name," Raindrops stressed, "the pegasus that normally handles all those overly time consuming animal surveys, it's Fluttershy."

"Whatever," intoned the unicorn in a dismissive rasp, "My point is that all of this is nothing, just one more crazy week in the craziness capital of Equestria. Come next week there will be some other catastrophe or zany antics and everypony will forget about all this like it never even happened."

Raindrops was now thoroughly incensed and completely fed up with Trixie's continued unwillingness to take this matter seriously, "You know what, fine! I knew it would be a mistake coming here. If you aren't going to help then I'll just do what I should have done in the first place and handle things personally," with that the pegasus stormed out of Trixie's office, nearly slamming her hooves through the floor boards as she marched. She paused on her way out only long enough to slam the door behind her, so hard it rattled in its hinges.

────────────────────────────────

Rainbow Dash yawned while reclining on the cloud, then snapped her eyes open as she leapt to her hooves, "Hey, think you can follow this trick?"

The lounging griffin raised her head from her folded arms, "In my sleep," she declared with a somewhat lazy boast, "but how 'bout we try another prank first before I embarrass you again?"

"I dunno know 'G'," replied Rainbow as she scratched the back of her mane, "I think the town might be just about pranked out by now."

"So we go out'a town. I saw this timid little thing at a cottage over by the Everfree," the griffin smiled with conspiratorial anticipation as she rubbed the palms of her talons together, "Bet'cha we could scare her real good."

"Hey yeah we could — wait," Dash's enthusiasm quickly drained as she realized, "you don't mean Fluttershy?"

"How should I know? All ponies look the same to me, each as lame as the next," then catching herself, she hastily added with a clenched grin, "except you Dash. You're special."

"Don't I know it!" beamed the ego stroked pegasus as she struck a confident pose, a single hoof pointed to her own chest, seemingly to have focused solely on the flattery and oblivious to Gilda's carelessly aimed insult.

"Right, so about the prank?"

The pride seemed to drain from Rainbow's face as uncertainty filled the pegasus's eyes "I don't know. Fluttershy's a pretty fragile thing under the best of circumstances. Besides, I thought we were done with easy."

"Nothing wrong with easy, long as it ain't boring,"

"I don't really think it'd be such a good —"

"Aw, come on Dash! I swear that butterball looked like she'd be scared of her own shadow. We could probably get her to literally jump out'a her own skin. Just imagine the —"

"I said no! Fluttershy is off limits, and that's final!"

Silence hung in there air from the outburst's aftermath before finally, "Oh, I get it. You're sweet on her," the griffin batted her eyelashes as she made the closest approximation her beak could to a pucker. She then proceeded to lightly elbow her companion in the ribs while waggling her brows as she added, "Never new ya swung that way Dash."

"Wait, what, no, It's not like that, I …" Dash stammered defensively, anger rising to her cheeks as she shoved Gilda away, "We just go back a long way and, and …" Rainbow struggled to find the words to explain to her coolest friend why she was being so protective of such a decidedly uncool pony.

Gilda's eyes went wide just before a baleful grin spread across her face, "Wow, I was only joking there, but you really are like so totally crushing on her."

"Just drop it," groaned the pegasus as she looked away in a huff.

The griffin took in a purposely deep breath before proceeding to mockingly sing, "Dashie and her girlfriend sitin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I — OW!" The foalish tease was cut off abruptly by a lightning fast hoof jab in the arm.

"I said DROP IT!"

As Gilda tried to rub the pain out of her now aching bicep she gave Dash an appraising stare. A brief tension hung in the air, but then the griffin relaxed as she sighed, "Fine, it's dropped. But what now?"

Rainbow rubbed her chin in thought, then, "I got it! There's still at least one good prank left in this, and boy does she ever deserve it."

────────────────────────────────

Raindrops glowered as she trudged down the street, kicking at the occasional pebble along her path. Normally at least one of the genial residents of Ponyville might try to console a pony in such a foul mood, but all seemed to give Raindrops a wide berth, even Pinkie Pie. She wasn't happy that she'd earned something of a reputation that rightly deserved such distancing, but right now she appreciated it.

When she had left the representative's residency she had been ready to rush off, to bring all of her pent up frustrations out on Rainbow Dash and that so-called griffin friend of hers. As her search for the pranksters had dragged on though, she had taken time to think. Were her friends right? Was she really just taking the matter too personally? Sure Trixie might just be dismissing it all because she hadn't been victimized, but even Carrot Top had told Raindrops not to act too rashly.

And Trixie had been somewhat correct; antics like this were regrettably all too common in Ponyville. Raindrops had lived through worse before, and would probably see worse still in the future. So why should she treat this time any different? Besides, it was only one more day. Still …

She came to a halt, looked to the sky, and let out a roar of pure frustration. The citizens around her paused in their daily routines to take note, but quickly enough resumed minding their own business.

Raindrops was about to continue with her brooding march when she heard a shout calling to her. Turning to find the source she saw Trixie rushing down the street towards her, a box levitated alongside the unicorn.

The unicorn slowed to a halt as she approached, then pantingly spoke "Raindrops … there you are … this is awful … simply dreadful … I don't know how she did it … but —" Trixie was cut off by her own need to hack and wheeze as she fought to catch her breath.

"What happened, are you okay? What's with that box?"

"No, I most certainly am not okay! As for the box? Well, just see for yourself."

As Trixie used her magic to open the box and levitate out its contents, Raindrops had to suppress a fit of laughter. There hanging in the air in front of her was The Great & Powerful Trixie's hat and cape, except instead of their usual violet shade, they were now each a tie-dyed rainbow of colors.

"I don't know how she got ahold of them, but when my hat and cape were delivered from the cleaners they were like, like this."

"Well that certainly looks like about as blatant a calling card as I can imagine. Funny though, I didn't even know the cleaners did delivery."

"Nor did I. When I discovered this heinous act, my first suspicion was that Rainbow Dash had simply tricked the cleaners into handing over my garments before delivering them herself, but unless she has ability to change her mane purple, coat orange, and magically shrink to about half her size it certainly wasn't her who came knocking at my door."

"Well that explains everything, this is definitely Dash's hoofwork."

"What, you mean she really can …?" Trixie trailed off as she tried to process the half-interpreted revelation, then rapidly shook her head as if to manually clear her mind and restore focus, "Never mind, not important. What matters now is that I'm finally convinced that something must be done about this situation."

"What ever happened to just waiting it all out? Besides, can't you just magic your cloths back to normal?"

"That was before those hooligans made this personal, and it doesn't matter how easily rectified the situation is. This has become a matter of principle. No one pulls a fast one on The Great & Powerful Trixie and gets away with it. Now then, my dear Raindrops, I need your help. Trixie has a plan."