Ch. 3 Arriving in Ponyville...
I walked into a small town, I looked around me, there was a Candy shop, a boutique, another candy shop, a library in a tree, a town hall, a spa, a marketplace, and a few other buildings. I continued walking around, I'd never seen os many ponies before, the only time I can remember being out of the orphanage was when we escaped....I escaped, two days ago.
I walked into the library I saw a couch and went over to it and sat down, this was the softest thing I'd felt in almost three days, I closed my eyes and started to doze.
I fell into a deep, nightmarish sleep, I remembered the bed on the train, and then Star's body, I wanted to wake up,but I couldn't, I couldn't leave him, not again.
"AH!" I shot from the couch, i was sweating, and I had left a pool around the spot I slept.
"Are you okay?" I heard a voice behind me ask.
I turned around, and standing behind me was a small, white, unicorn filly. She had pink and Purple hair, but not as dark as mine.
"Yeah, just a nightmare." I said, wiping my face.
"Are you sure?" I shuddered, that was what he asked me before he died, but I nodded.
"Yeah.." I shook it off.
"My name's Sweetie Belle!" she blurted out.
"Uh, Scootaloo..." I said, turning my head slightly.
"I like that name, wanna hang out?" she asked me.
More than anything now I needed food, I was so hungry!
"Do you know where I could get something to eat?" I asked her.
"Hmm, well you could come to my house, and my sister could make us something." she finished with a smile.
"Sounds good, let's go!" i said cheerfully.
I followed her outside, and she started heading towards the boutique, oh, that's where she lived...cool. I followed her up to the front door, and she opened it.
"Rarity! I found a new friend! Can we have some lunch?" Sweetie belle yelled in the boutique.
"Just a minute Sweetie Belle, I'm creating perfection!" Rarity yelled back form upstairs.
"Come on, we'll wait in my room." Sweetie Belle said.
I followed her up to her room, but before we could make it there, rarity said to us from the kitchen,
"Sweetie Belle, bring your friend down to the kitchen."
"Well, I'll show you later." Sweetie Belle said to me, and then she pulled me back downstairs.
The two of us walked into the kitchen, and there was Rarity...I think.
"Rarity..." Sweetie Belle said, "This is Scootaloo."
Rarity was a white unicorn mare, she had blue hair, which was styled perfectly, and she had three diamonds for a Cutie Mark. She eyed me curiously.
"Hi." I waved my hoof.
"Hello....Scootaloo." she said slowly.
The room was silent, nopony was talking, not me, not Rarity, and not Sweetie Belle. Why was Rarity acting this way, did I do something, did I say something?
"Um Scootaloo?" Sweetie Belle started, "I think she wants you to take a bath."
I blushed, "Like here or?"
"Here is fine, you can use Sweetie Belle's shower." Rarity said, going back to making us lunch.
Sweetie Belle and I both walked upstairs, maybe I would get to see her room.
She stopped by the door next to her room and said, "Here, go in here and turn the knob to the left, and then pull it out!" she smiled, "I'll get you a towel."
"Okay." I said, and then I walked into the room, it was just a big shower, like the whole room, it was covered in white and blue tiles, and there was three shower heads.
"Knob...knob...knob..." I found it.
I followed her instructions and the second I pulled the knob out, three streams hit me, two streams of rinsing water, and one stream of soap. awesome, I juts had to move around to get washed,so I just started waving, and then leaping and spinning, the feeling was amazing, not just the water, the dancing too, I felt alive, i felt okay, I felt safe.
"Got your towel!" I heard Sweetie Belle say form outside of the door.
"Okay, i'm almost done!" I said, I felt so refreshed.
I pushed the knob back in and turned it to the right, then I walked over to the door and grabbed my towel.
After I washed myself off, I walked back downstairs and into the kitchen, the smell was amazing, it smelled like a salad, but it was grilled and I smelled something else, something sweet.
I looked over at Rarity, she was setting out a grilled salad? And a small cupcake beside it, for each of us.
"Hey Scootaloo." Sweetie belle said, she was sitting with a salad in front of her.
"Hi.' I said.
"So, Scootaloo?" Rarity started, "Where are you from?"
Okay, I had to make up something...or I didn't, maybe I could stretch the truth.
"I'm from Trottingham, I rode a train to Canterlot, and then I traveled here." I said, Rarity looked at me.
"Oh, I haven't been to Trottingham in ages!" How is it now?"
"It's fine, there's a lot more ponies."
"I'd imagine," she looked up at the ceiling for a moment, "my true dream is to move to Canterlot and pursue my fashion career there."
"You should pursue cooking instead." I said after I swallowed a bit, "It's amazing!"
"Thank you Scootaloo, I'm self taught."
WE ate the rest of the lunch with come little conversation, talking about our day today, about what rarity created, and about some other smaller things. Once we finished lunch, Rarity turned to me,
"You should come back tomorrow for lunch, you're a delight!"
"Thanks!" I said, "I will1"
I trotted out of the boutique, and I walked back into town, "Now to find a shelter." I looked around, I would stay a few days, or at least until tomorrow.
"Perfect!" I found an overturned, old chariot outside of town, it even had some blankets in it, this would be my home for now.
On the chariot wall was a flier, it said the Summer Sun celebration was in three days, free food, free drink, and a chance to meet the princess. needed food, so I was going to go.
I passed the next days doing the same thing, going to Sweetie Belle's for lunch, returning home for sleep, again and again, right up until the celebration. The night of the celebration, every pony in the town was packed into the town hall.
As i walked in, I saw a pale yellow mare with a pink mane gesture to some birds, which started singing.
"Fillies and Gentlecolts...." an older mare, I'm guessing the Mayor, started, "As mayor of Ponyville," Yep, she's the mayor, "It is my great pleasure to the beginning of the Summer Sun Celebration!"
There was a huge cheer at the end of her words, but she spoke again.
"In a few minutes, our town will witness the magic of the sun rise, and celebrate this, the longest day of the year." She paused, "And now it is my great honor to introduce to you the ruler of our land, the very pony who gives us the sun and the moon each and every day, the good, the wise, the bringer of harmony to all of Equestria! Princess Celestia!"
Rarity pulled a rope and the birds sounded, but nopony appeared. The crowd started to panic, and the Mayor reassured them, "Remain calm everypony, there must be a reasonable explanation."
"She's gone!" Rarity yelled from atop the steeple.
The crowd went into a slight panic, but then a blue mist started forming, was it her?
No, it turned into a black alicorn, she had evil eyes, and evil body, she wasn't Celestia, who was she?
"Oh my beloved subjects, it's been so long since I've seen you precious little, sun loving faces!" she said, even her voice sounded evil.
Sweetie belle grabbed me and another filly and held us tight, we were all scared,somepony yelled out,
"What did you do with our Princess?"
She laughed, "Why, am I not royal enough for you?"
"Don't you know who I am? Does my crown no longer count now that I have been imprisoned for a thousand years?" She went to Rarity, "Do you not recall the legends, did you not see the signs?"
"I did, and i know who you are!" A purple unicorn, one who I never met yelled out. "You're the mare in the moon, Nightmare Moon!"
The whole crowd gasped, some ponies fainted, I almost did myself.
"Well well well, somepony who remembers me." Nightmare said, "Then you also know why I'm here?!"
"You're here to..to.."
Nightmare laughed evilly, "Remember this day ponies, for it will be your last, from this moment on, the night will last FOREVER!" Lightning struck around her, and panic went through the crowd.
Nightmare just laughed as we watched, I wondered if she was going to kill us all, but she didn't.
"Cease her! Only she knows where the Princess is!" The mayor yelled, and Royal guards flew up to her.
"Stand back you foals!" Nightmare struck them with lightning, then she disappeared into the mist and blew open the doors and flew away.
"Sweetie Belle! Take Scootaloo back to the boutique, lock the doors and stay safe, I'm to follow Fluttershy." Rarity yelled at us, she was stressed.
The two went back of the boutique, and followed rarity's orders, tonight would be a long night...literally.
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So, this chapter was hard to write, but i got it out for y'all! :Yay:
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(clap clap clap clap clap) Five claps for the great story! It's even a Scootaloo story!
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Scootaloo_lolface.png 664561
664811 Darn you custom emoticons!
e.deviantart.net/emoticons/t/trollface.png 664895
664905 ... Quick I need my troll face repellent!
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_YouDontSay2.png 665695
666314 This sounds noobish but how do you post pictures? I'm new to this part of the internets.
666356
It's a fimfiction enhancement pack, its by iloveportalz0r here's the link to the blog post about it,
LINK:
666399 Sorry I meant pictures like the multiple "Please go on" pics I can't seem to find the URL of.
666429 Some are on it like these dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_RageFace.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_YouDontSay2.png e.deviantart.net/emoticons/t/trollface.png
666469 I'm-a try something.http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_YouDontSay2.png If it doesn't work it'll look like letters and numbers.
EDIT: It didn't work.
666474 NEW IDEA!dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_YouDontSay2.png
EDIT: YES
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Pinkie_loool.png 666580
I suppose if my oc is going to be in this, i need to read it xD
I like how you managed to squeeze in the MLP Pilot episode into your plot.
Constructive criticism:
Capitalization
Run-on sentences
Wayy too rushed.
That is all.
BRAVO, BRAVO!!!
A Fresh, Willful, And Abounding Standard.
Good Work, Take This.
-
Raritys mane is purple, not blue. If you can I suggest finding some one willing to pre read for you there are a few silly mistakes in here such as
. Aside form that you are doing alright.
Well done with the Nightmare Moon scene. I think that you played that out absolutely perfectly.
Two small problems:
1)
Rarity has a purplish hair, I'd call it either purple or Indigo.
And 2)
I believe it's spelled "seize"
Other than that, well done!