*Aoi processing cycle...*
*Realization in 3....2...1...*
"WHAT THE FACK!"
"QUICK! DISCORD! PUNCH ME IN THE FACE!"
'Yeah I'm probably gonna regret this later...'
"AHH DAMMIT!" I punch him back and watch as he reels backwards, we look at each other, and the first thing that comes to both of our minds....
"AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!" Yeah, that strangely freaked us both out...
*10 minutes later*
"Okay, possible impications... GO!"
"I'm free?" Discord looks at me with those anime eyes of hope.
"Un Momento." I take out a sheet of paper.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Could you check on the statue of Discord for me? See if the Sunglasses are still there.
"SEND DAMMIT!" I pretty much yell at the scroll, It goes off in a quick poof. 2 minutes later another letter pops open in front of me.
Yes, It's still there.
P.S. You do know it's around 2 in the morning right?
"Okay, so you're not in full blaze of glory mode. WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!" Discord shrugs.
"You're guess is as good as mine..."
"Okay, try making a cotton candy cloud..." He does so and I try to grab it, my hand simply passes through...
"OMGOMGOGMOGMGOMGOMGWhat the hell..." Okay, last test I take the Mirror and put it up in front of Discord. He strikes a pose.
"Mmmm handsome fellow." BAKA-NA! I throw the mirror at him, the mirror firmly implanting itself in his skull.
*10 minutes later*
We sit at the table, Discord with a bandage on his head, me pouring a glass of milk.
"So, I can see you just fine, you can see yourself in the mirror, Question is... can others see you..." I look at the door, then back to Discord.
"BTW, Can you still move through stuff?" He shrugs. I take out a baseball bat and try and hit him on the head, the bat passing straight through him. Both of us are speechless for several minutes...
*Aoi Processing Cycle*
"I got nothing..." So We have Discord, semi solid, semi visible... what the hell is going on? TALK ME DOWN, MAN!!!
"Okay, so let's try something here... you can make illusions, but not actual things, you can see yourself in the mirror, but we've never actually tried it before. And I can hit you when I actually mean it, hence the punch and the mirror, but not the baseball bat... and I have no idea how any of this is happening at all..." I take a drink of milk, "Or what the hell this means for any of us..." I down the last of the milk.
"Let's just... go to sleep and see what happens in the morning..." I go back upstairs and plop down onto my bed.
"Do you want me to tuck you in?"
"Sure that would be- NO!!!" I pull over the covers and roll over on my side.
'Okay, so shit just happened. Now we just need fan.' I close my eyes and try to sleep, after all it was 2 am in the morning...
"Good morrow, Aoi."
"Good morning..." Aoi Processing Cycle... "LUNA?!" I swear, this is the second time I find her in my house.
"Nope, Just Discord." Luna reaches over her head and unzips to reveal the Draconequuis in full trollish glory. If he said 'Chuck Testa' I would have sworn he was from the internet. He burst out laughing at my expression.
"Oh it never gets old, the whole switcheroo bit." I throw a pillow at him and pull over the covers.
"Give me 5 more minutes, then let's do lunch, I need my lazy sleeeee--- Oh my God, what the hell happened last night!?" I perk back up remembering what happened last night. I sweep my fur back and zoom straight to the bathroom to take a look in the mirror. Okay, no spots, no fever, no jaundice of the tongue, I am 100% perceivably healthy.
"OKAY! Now we can get down to business on figuring out if this will really fuck things up!" I hear the door open, and in Living Room number one: RAINBOW DASH!.
"Hello? Aoi, are you home?" That's it. I'm installing a lock on that door, even though I said I'd be doing that a week ago. I look at Discord, Moment of truth. It's do or die...
"Yeah, I'm home."
"What's going on up there?" She said wondering what the racket was going on upstairs. I motion to Discord to hide in the closet.
"Just testing my decible range, apparently I can hit the 140's if I really try." She didn't buy it.
"RIIIIIIIIGHT... and my wings are just for show." I facepaw, "What's really going on up there." I sigh and just go straight to the big reveal.
"You can come out now..." The door slowly opens as discord walks out. Rainbow Dash turns white and then Hides uder the table.
"G-G-G-GHOOOOOOOOOST!" Wait wat? I look behind me to see Discord, solid as always. I look back at Rainbow Dash, scared out of her mind. 2 + 2 = 7! WRONG!
"You mean, you CAN'T see him?" Rainbow Dash slowly gets out from under the table.
"You mean YOU CAN?!" Hey, Captain Obvious is MY job, you can't have it...
"Okaaaay... let's just take it really fahkin easy. I've had a rough night, you see absolutely nothing, and I'm seeing something that equates to a ghost." I wink at Discord, "Logical explaination, I've gone... completely... and utterly... insane..." My GAWD... They're coming to take me away...
"I... see?" She cocked her head in a 'Yep, he's lost it' kind of way. Great, now all I need her to do is to get her out of my house so I can finally get this settled down on what exactly happened.
"Perfect, now that we've established the state of my sanity I think it's time for you to go, Ta-ta." I start hustling her out the door, she closes it before I pull the door open, barring it with her hoof.
"Hold it. You're NOT crazy, at least not more than normally anyway. I mean, I SAW that closet door open. So, either we've both gone crazy, or there is an ACTUAL Ghost in your house and YOU can see ghosts." FAHK, DON'T put 2 and 2 together!
"Hang on, I'm not a spirit medium, so that means I shouldn't be able to see ghosts... Are you SURE Pinkie pie doesn't put any secret ingredie--" Imma stop right there, definitely do NOT need to bring Cupcakes into this... I rub my temples in frustration.
General Rule of the Cartoon Universe: Cartoons conveying anecdotes that have one person revealing secrets often end in a really cliche scene...
'NOT THIS TIME MUTHAFAkAAAAH!'
"Rainbow Dash... there's something I need to tell you..." I reach behind me, "But could you please turn around for Just one second." She hesitantly complies. Yeah this part's TOTALLY not going into season three. I take out an oversized hammer and hit her upside the head with it knocking her out.
"Sorry about that." I tie her up to the living room chair. Okay, protecting me from the backlash that's about to occur here, check. Giant cake to apologize with, baked. Let insanity commence.
Rainbow Dash slowly starts to wake up, me sitting backwards in the chair in front of her. Obviously, she's scared out of her mind, wondering what's going on. I sigh and pour a class of milk.
"What's the Big Idea?" I down the glass in one gulp, Dramatically placing the glass on the table. I sigh, then snap my fingers, let's see if this works.
'Discord, show yourself.'
By the expression on Rainbow Dash's face: a mix between Surprise and caution.
"You're not seeing things, Rainbow Dash." I say with a straight face.
"How're you doing, Dash, surprised to see me?" Discord puts on a wide grin.
"Wha-Howtha-I-mean-You're-" Her jaw dropped to the floor right there.
"I have know Idea how to explain it either." I pour another drink.
"WHY ARE WE JUST SITTING HERE!? WE NEED TO GET THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY AND TURN HIM- MFMRMFMMRFMMMRFRMRMMRFMF?" I stuck my paw in her mouth to shut her up.
"Dammit all. Alright, RD, What I'm about to tell you is the truth, the WHOLE truth and nothing but the Truth, Cross my heart ad hope to fly stick a cupcake in my- OW DAMMIT!..." gotta stop doing that.... She seemed to calm down a bit, so I removed my paw from her mouth. Little known fact, she slobbers...
"*sigh* So let's start with some stuff. I'm not really from Skyrim, though I'd like to be, That place is DA SHIET! I'm actually from another UNIVERSE, somehow parallel to your own. Your universe is based off of a television show in my universe, believe it or not. Though I'm pretty sure you have no idea what a television even is. So I actually know a lot more than I let off. I also know about Discord." I motioned a thumb towards Discord sitting down on a spare chair, "So 23 days ago, Discord here somehow got into my world and magicked me or something into your world. *Sigh* The next part is even wierder. Last night somehow I'm able to control Discords current semi-existence outside the statue, By thinking it, I can make him visible or invisible, and when I mean it, he can become tangible, DON'T ask me how the fuck I know all this, I just DO! Now what I must ask you is very, VERY, important. Until the Grand Galloping Gala, absolutely, positively NO ONE must know of this. Before I continue, PINKIE PROMISE that you will not tell ANYPONY, ANYGRIFFIN, Etc. That I know Discord and he is somewhat here, and that you won't throttle us the moment I untie these ropes." I suddenly pull the expression only equal to Fluttershy in D'AWitude, humongous puppy eyes and a slight whimper. She pretty much melts on the spot, trying so hard to resist. She then sighs in defeat.
"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." I sigh in relief.
"Okay, Discord..." I look at him waving at me not to tell, "Do you want to tell her yourself?" He facetaloned. He groaned and crossed his legs.
"Here's the deal, Rainbow Dash, I... well... me and Celestia used to.." My God... the Spirit of Chaos is embarassed of a 1000 year dead relationship... "...be together." I could hear RD's cheeks inflate with surpressed laughter. I look over and she looks like those fucking goldfish that have inflatable cheeks. You know, these things:
I know, fucking huge. I shoot her a glare telling her to deflate immediately. She started whimpering, trying so damn hard not to laugh.
"Now what I'm trying to do, Is when we have the audience with the princess at the Gala, I'm going to try and get Discord and Celestia to, you know, 'patch things up'. Kind of like when i patch things up between you and Gilda." She then looked at me with an expression of complete and utter sincerety, "You of all people should understand... Now..." I take some scissors and cut the rope, RD flapping her wings anxiously.
"Do we have an accord? This does not leave this room, not one word to the others." I stick out my paw in a fist, Discord does the same.
"I just want to say one thing, I find so much as ONE cloud of cotton candy in the sky above Ponyville, Discord better be ready for a world of-"
"Rainbow..." She pouts and taps both our fist with her hooves. A Brohoof ALWAYS makes thing official. I take out two extra pairs of sunglasses, putting mine on first, then handing one to Discord and RD. They put them on and we all cross our arms. The first thing that comes to mind that all of us say simultaneously:
"DEAL WITH IT!"