Luna and Celestia, the daughters of Queen Galaxia and King Cosmos, must work togerther and use their magic to maintain harmony throughout the land. But with the mysterious disappearance of their parents and the return of a long lost foe, the sisters must learn their responsibilities, and what they must give up to fulfill them.
Updates:
Just finished indenting all of the chapters, finally.
Yes, this is meant to be a rather short story.
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Very nice! Looking forward to more over the summer!
728228
Thanks!
I'm almost done with Chapter Eleven so you probably don't have to wait until summer to hear the end of the story. It's the last Chapter. Maybe a sequel... But I'll most likely be working on other fics.
I like it so far! I can for some reason see Luna's voice being like sweetie belles and celestias voice like a mix of twilight and rainbow dash... Idk why. But like I said! Good!
I LOVEZ IT! :D
Omg this is the best story ever.
OMG THIS IS THE BEST STORY THAT I HAVE EVER READ INLOOOOOVE IT NO EXAGERATION!!!!
783173 Thank you so much! It makes me feel so good to know that people like my story! Thanks for the fav too!
Sorry I couldn't respond sooner, I was in Europe.
783052 Hmm...I try to imagine Luna's voice being slightly higher pitched than it was in S1, but I never really went into that much detail...
839554
Love it this is so awesome! /)
(\
1010766 Thanks!
Glad you like my stories!
Thanks for the watch, too!
You mean:
No double quote in 'Celestia's' and roused instead of aroused.
1809034 Thanks, must have totally missed it!
(Joke) Alt. Title: Responsibility And Rage Kage
1809184 I lol'd out loud, good sir.
Update! Now editing the story with indents... finally!
I loved it until that part came. I'm not a fan of the 'real story' thing.
You didn't by any chance do the animated comic thing on YouTube? Exactly the same story.
But apart from that, you are a talented writer. I liked the fact that you did a back story, although when you did the part of when she is engulfed by the mist, that was a bit abrupt.
I do like your writing, just not a fan of the real story thing.
Keep writing, you are talented!
Phoenix
2497997 Thank you for the critique! This is my first story so I am very eager to improve my writing skills!
I was very much inspired by the animated comic on YouTube, but that's not my channel 
sorry.
And by "real story" thing did you mean the comic on YouTube? May I ask for what reason? I just want to know so I can find a balance between the "real story" and the canon story, I suppose.
Sorry for the late response,
Goldenowl
Edit: I am also considering rewriting the story to add more length to the chapters and more detail. I am now debating whether or not I should keep that part. Do you have any suggestions?
Sorry, I don't regually check my emails, which linked your respone.
) And Luna goes to inspect a flower and she has a anger flash or something, the first signs of her transformation. Then she snaps out of it, and doesn't remember-then she keeps walking, Celestia thinking, and Luna is swept off her feet and into the sky, blue all around her. Blah blah, she turns into NMM. The story's yours, just some suggestions. Overall, that transformation was too abrupt.
Firstly, by the 'real story', I mean this version of the Luna/Nightmare Moon-I believe this is what it was called on the YouTube comic. Not sure. I just said that because I wasn't sure what else to call it, as it is a widespread thing. I'm just not a huge fan of the 'Luna being transformed by the mist' idea, although I think it is very creative and I admire people with the ability to come up with a story different to the show, as the whole show leans very heavily on the canon version, and to change that is a big thing to take on, as it has to make sense of the rest of the show. I admire you for this.
As I said, I'm not a big fan, but this is the whole story, I guess. As to whether to delete this part-short answer is no. It is great, and the backbone of the story. But long answer is, it's just too abrupt. It came too sudden-she just walked out and -boom- she is engulfed, transformed into NMM. It needs more depth, as in more build up to that moment. Something like the sisters are walking together, Luna is having trouble with fitting in as such (after all, wouldn't she have to go to school? Surely she doesn't learn everything overnight or hereditary? There's an idea.
There's my views. Sorry for going on. You did ask...
Any other questions, just ask-its linked to my emails, It might take a while for me to respond though. I'd be happy to help with editing or ideas if you get stuck.
~Phoenix
-Edit: Amazing writing skills for first time. Keep writing!
2570039 gahhh I keep forgetting to check my FiMFiction, too!
Sorry for the late response, again!
Those are all great ideas! And thank you very much for the compliments!
As for the story, I understand what you mean. It did feel kind of abrupt even as I was writing it. As for Luna's education, I assume that an alicorn wouldn't be able to canon-ly go to a public school because she's royalty, so she'd probably learn everything from her older sister. But the subtle hints before Luna turning into NMM is something I will definitely use in the story to overcome the abruptness.
Also, I wasn't sure whether it was compliant to FiMFiction's rules to post this story again, but heavily rewritten after I'm done rewriting it. Do I have to delete this story first?
Thank you very much, and I'll keep you posted!
~GoldenOwl