• Member Since 2nd Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 29th, 2022

Nevel


E

This is a story about a big brother, Lance Angelswift, fleeing his home with his little sister, Cherry Blossom, to protect her from their father. They travel to Ponyville and stay in a house that is on the edge of Everfree Forest. Lance starts hearing about the stories of the forest from the local residents and he begins to worry for the safety of his little sister.

Chapters (16)
Comments ( 72 )

Amazing, more!:flutterrage:

...

:fluttershysad: please?

Jesus christ this story is so fucking heartwarming. :rainbowkiss:

Write and upload faster dammit!

It was amazing! You should totally finish it, Very Good work indeed. A Quadzillion out of a Quadzillion, Perfect. MUST MAKE MORE!!! PLEASE!! :pinkiehappy:

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There was laughs, so many laughs. I demand more!:flutterrage:

please?:fluttercry:

I can't belive how good this is, is this even possible or am I dreaming of awesomeness?! :rainbowlaugh:

Really Well made :P
Work FASTER! I wanna read more of it! :pinkiehappy:

I agree - :applecry: - Absolutely awesome!

Marvellous, Make more, Please please please! :pinkiehappy: You write such a touching story ...

It brought tears to my eyes. :applecry: :raritydespair: :fluttercry:

Cherry cherry cherry cherry

Her name is repeated so many times..:facehoof:

692147

Helpful Criticism is always welcome. Upon review, I may have used it more times then was necessary. I have fixed this by replacing her name where possible and without breaking the sentence to pull people out of the immersion of the story. Thank you and I hope that the editing is more pleasing for you.

Nevel V.

That Chapter spread warmth to my heart, I cannot explain how good it is, how good you are, truly magnificent!

This story is awesome. Grammar is decent. Plot is developed. Quite descriptive too. One qualm though...WATCH CAPITALIZATION!

Other than that I'm favoriting+liking this.

Another cutie mark crusader?What will go wrong next chapter? :scootangel:

695048

I thank you for your kind words, and i assure you i do my absolute best to get the capitals in all the right places. Just sometimes they do slip through the cracks. I'll continue to try and improve and watch out for those annoyances. Thank you. :twilightsmile:

Poor Cherry, thats all I can say, poor little Cherry. :fluttercry:

Curse those two. (insert angry face here)

oh man :fluttercry: poor Cherry

daaww cuteness :rainbowkiss:

d'awww cuteness...but you really need a proofreader...I saw several mistakes...eg. when fluttershy says Young man? You mean young colt?

799885

Gah! Thanks mate. But that mistake can be completely understandable. :derpytongue2:

"How so?"

Well, when I did that bit,. I was imagining her "Stare" voice, and if you go back to the Stare Master episode, she does actually say "Young Man". :pinkiehappy:

Okay, yes, she's saying it to a cockatrice. But that's where the mistake came from and why I repeatedly missed it. I will edit the error, and I thank you for pointing it out. :pinkiesmile: And it's funny you mention proof reader, because I do have one, but he wasn't online when i finished this chapter and I did ask a bunch of friends if they could give it a look over before i published the chapter. But they were all too busy or tired and I was just too impatient to be patient. :applecry: But don't worry, I promise i'll sort something out and try to bring you the best quality I can. Pinkie Promise! :pinkiesmile:

800601 LOLOLOLOL. Its K. My fanfic also has errors and I need proofreaders to pick them up. When I first published my chapters I didn't have a proofreader. Now that I have two, i am so constantly revising it and rewriting sections to make it more clear that I literally can't seem to start writing the next chapter!!

The Proofreader says: Utterly amazingly epicly awesomely (can I fit any more words in) beautifully (looks like I can) heart touching, infact I think I may need a tissue over here.

Nevel, How can you be this good. I have read alot of books, and this goes right to the top on my list, amazing work. (I'll be online more often. :pinkiehappy: )

ugh Fluttershy your supposed to understand animals clearly your not getting Angels message. Cant wait for the next chapter when is it? :twilightsmile:

871923 Well, she has always had trouble understanding Angel for some reason :P The next chapter will be VERY soon. I've beaten my writers block and I'm already working on the next chapter. :pinkiesmile:

763316 I believe this is the face you're looking for. :twilightangry2:

Nooo please let Cherry be okay, Lance just needs to find her cant wait for the next chapter when is it? :twilightsmile:

895058

Well, it's almost done. Truth be told, Chapter 13 was supposed to be MUCH longer then this but at about 75% of the way through I noticed the chapter was already 5,500+ words and I'm still not finished. So I cut it in half so I could give you a little something to enjoy. I'd hate to release a 7000+ word chapter. Would be epic but I just think some ppl might put off reading something that long in one go :twilightoops:

Uh Oh...THat isn't good.

Ok I read the very last sentance, and my heart just dropped, missed a beat and became extremely heavy all at once, then I went dizzy and I felt sorrow all over my face, a story that can make you feel such powerful emotion like that, your doing well, even though it's sad and scary, it's still good. But seriously man, I couldn't stop reading this story at this point, I would got to the ends of the Earth to read the end, Just promise me one thing, Make it have a happy ending in way or form of another, I don't think the very fibres of my heart can take it if something too bad happens.

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT NEV

WHY :fluttercry:

If only my own older brother was like this. :applecry:

Cherry didnt die did she is she okay? :fluttercry: cant wait for the next chapter :twilightsmile:

good chapter I hope your doing a sequel :twilightsmile:

917030

I... I'm happy that you would ask for that, but i really cannot think of anyway to write a sequel to this. Yes i left a few holes in the story. The father for example. but no. Thank you for your support through this, but i really have no plans at this time for a sequel.

:rainbowkiss: Stay awesome man.

:fluttercry: Aww.
Lance... what the hell man? :ajbemused:

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I LOVE IT.

TEN OUT OF TEN HEARTS FOR YOU NEV
:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:

917094

A Prequel?

That sounds very possible... Oh no :derpyderp2: Stop! My mind is crafting the story line already based on flash back from the story. :pinkiecrazy:

No promises :twilightsmile: at this time i really really just wanna take a break and catch up on my reading... maybe learn to improve my own writing for next time. N-Not that that's a promise there wll be one :twilightsheepish:

917183 aha my idea of planting stories in your brain worked :pinkiegasp: brilliance :twilightsmile:

Thanks for a good read!

Keep up the good work. :heart:

917619

Thank you for reading, i'm glad you enjoyed it :)

:yay: UGGHHHHH "yay"

:pinkiehappy: It was Epicly;
:pinkiehappy: Awesomely;
:pinkiehappy: Unbelieveably;
:pinkiehappy: Fantasticaly;
:heart: Heart Stoppingly;
:flutterrage: Win!

Win! Win! Win!
So much Win!

sad it ended.
but the fic is really great. :)

919315

Thank you very much :pinkiesmile: I'm sad it's over too because I really enjoyed writing it.

917044 Maybe you could make a extra chapter to fill in those holes.

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