My interest has been aroused.

Go on.....

very good start, can't wait to see finished, consider this like, fav'd, and watched.

....Proceed...

Fol'wing.

Two words

AWESOME

Thanks guys!

Jeez, y'all hit me with a storm of comments I had trouble keeping up! Yeah, this is going to be a fun project. I know that much. I've just got too much inspiration from Crowley.

Seems legit.

Carry on!

Keep On Trolling

>>652220652220

Yes. All this (Fan)Base are belong to me, after all.

Hm, this sounds interesting. Rainbow Dash, holding perhaps strong emotions for somepony? Tracked.

>>652282652282

Image: http://www.digitalstormonline.com/forums/uploads/8344/mother-of-god-super-troopers.jpg

How did you know.

>>652286652286

I'm psychic, y'know?

>>652228652228    

Yeauh Just Keep Doin Watch U Doin

*brofist*

>>652293652293

Image: http://bwilliams101.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/maximum-brofist.jpg

Very interesting and definitely looking forward to seeing more. However, there's a certain grammar mistake constant throughout the story. It's when you end a speaking line. For example:

“Hey, I almost had this one.” You reply.

“Didn’t think you’d catch me Speedy.” She says with a grin.

“You deserve a reward.” She replies, flashing another smile.

If you're done speaking, but it's not the end of the sentence, then you should end with a comma (unless you're using an exclamation point or question mark, those are fine) in the quotation marks instead of a period. Then, the next word should be lowercase, carrying the sentence along.

So for those examples I pulled, it should be:

“Hey, I almost had this one,” you reply.

“Didn’t think you’d catch me Speedy,” she says with a grin.

“You deserve a reward,” she replies, flashing another smile.

>>652488652488

Huh. I did not know that. Thanks.

Now I know. And knowing, is half the battle.

Image: http://www.millionaireplayboy.com/mpb/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/gijoe.jpg

I Can has more?

Image: http://i.imgur.com/uPvYi.jpg

>>652590652590

Soon. I'm working on it now.

Hurry, please.

>>652623652623

Patience. I'm already halfway done

Lets Stop Rushing Let Him Take His Time H'll Get It Done As Soon As Possible

*brofist* To Everyone

--

Keep On Trollin

>>652887652887

Thank you.

>>652503652503

Image: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-H1gRZ8RMa7w/TdzjxO1d8II/AAAAAAAABpk/IXz0ECDAkAY/s400/proceed-cat-cats-kitten-kitty-pic-picture-funny-lolcat-cute-fun-lovely-photo-images.jpg

You have recieved Epic's intrest. Don't disappoint me......

-Epicpony

>>654209654209

I'll sure as hell try.

Likes to Dislikes is a 42/1 ratio?

Image: http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyfnwkheRH1qhv6pa.jpg

hmmm...

please continue

Please guys, tell me what you think of Chapter two instead of just "Please continue". Did you like it or not. Why?

I repeat what I believe my previous statement was.

Go on.....

I liked it. Sure, it's not the greatest story I've ever read but it's still good. You do a passable job of second person. You certainly have potential. Just keep practicing.

Edit: You're a football player? A big mudda fukka? Do your friends know about you and MLP?

Longer chapters, but other than that, proceed with the story.

As it seems you want a genuine comment, I'll give you just that.

For the record, I am a bit of a Grammar Nazi. Didn't pick anything up while reading.

Loving it, by the way! I'm hoping to see more of this. I've been a bit of a softie for 2nd person fictions with Rainbow Dash, so this peaked my curiosity when it first came out.

Keep rocking!

Great story!

>>657395657395

Why thank you! It's not easy. This is my first time at second person after all. I'll certainly keep practicing.

And yes. My FRIENDS know I like MLP. I met one teammate who is a fellow Brony, and five or six who don't care about such a trivial matter. It's us against the probably 20 or 30 who dislike the fact that we're Bronies. But, we're football players. So we have to be tough about it.

>>657418657418

Thanks.

>>657338657338

like it..

now give me three more chapters in 10 seconds flat.

-ahem-

MOAR

Great so far except isnt it usally like the proper thing to do to give the female your bed and you sleep on the couch? Oh and longer chapters but i do enjoy the story.

>>657691657691

Dude. It's fucking Rainbow Dash. I don't think she'd care.

But that's just how I perceive her character.

>>657701657701 If she can sleep in a tree with just a pillow and blanket, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't mind a comfy sofa. She agrees.

>>657718657718

My thoughts exactly.

I liked it and would like a chapter three.

Just make the chapter longer by forcing YOU to tell Rainbow what You feel... or bring in characters to make it more conflicting

>>659136659136

Are you all PSYCHIC!?!?!

Yeah, no. This'll be a bit short. Probably five chapters. Maybe six. The next one is where massive complications begin. (Hint hint)

>>657450657450

You're into football, and you like MLP? We're going to be the best of friends, you and I.

What's your position? OLB? DT? WR? OT? Safety, maybe?

>>659323659323

DT and OT

Sometimes Guard

Great Job This Is Very Beast

*brofist*

--

Keep On Trollin

>>661125661125

Thanks bro.

:No Prob Bro

*brofist*

--

Keep On Trollin

Okay. The story's going to have at least six chapters by my best estimate. I don't like to exceed 1500 words per chapter. They just start dragging on after that mark. 3 is much longer than I anticipated.

"Friendship Stones"? .... Elements of Harmony final answer!

Good story, but I would recommend longer chapters. Try at least 2-3k words for each new chapter. You know, to tide us over.

Elements of Harmony!

Keep It Comin Bro This Is Getting Good

*brofist* To Everyone

>>656310656310 don't you hate how just one more dislike took it down to a 1 to 26 ratio

Ps nice job and it's refreshing to see a fic were rainbowdash is straight

Unless the reader is a girl :P

Dude, this is awesome. Totally what I've been waiting for. I don't like to say this, but honestly, I can't change anything about this. It's really a nice fic. Fav'd and liked. Aw, hell, I'll even offer you a watch. Hope to see more of this!

nice

There's a WTF story called "Quest for the Friendship Stones" which features Rainbow Dash.

Not sure if that's what you're talking about, but.

Keep going! A bit longer chapters would be nice, though.

Will He Make The Right Chocie Or Not?

Image: http://www.skepticmoney.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/chimp.jpg?9d7bd4

*slowly faves*

Do go on...

Any source on that picture? One of the better that I've seen, havent been able to find it.

>>662591662591

You have another guess coming sir.

Hint: It's a story by one of our mods.

>>662891662891

You'd be correct sir.

>>662670662670

Yeah.

*Brohoof*

Picture Sauce added.

>>665361665361

I'm just good like that, eh?

Of course it'd be a reference to a story I haven't read. Is it any good?

>>665703665703

It's funny as hell.

>>666041666041 I think I'll give it a try. Thanks!

"Receiving"

Image: http://clean.alltheragefaces.com/img/faces/large/neutral-if-you-know-what-i-mean-l.png

>>667116667116

Image: http://www.myfacewhen.net/uploads/3749-i-see-what-you-did-there-no-text.png

Bacon cookies? Never heard of such a thing. Its a great story. It needs longer chapters though.

one of my fav stories cant wait for the next chapter

There! YOU GOT YOUR LONGER CHAPTER!!!!!

Happy?

And I left you all with a nice cliffhanger, didn't I?

best one yet

Cliff hangers why WHY!!

yeah

wen is the next chapter coming

>>687345687345

To keep you coming back for more.

>>687350687350

Soon. I still have finals to deal with. And everyone's complaining for longer chapters. I need to fill 2000 words per from now on, so yeah.

DARN CLIFFHANGERS!!!!!!! Great chapter by the way!

i would proof read the chapter if you would like me to

>>687410687410

Maybe. Or you could just wait and let me do it.

Sorry, I prefer to be the proofreader.

have you read In Search of the Sun

>>687453687453

No

you should

"Giving"

Image: http://images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw2988_large.png

>>687495687495

WINNING!!!! Best title evar.......................I mean, continue........

We're all thinking it:

Image: http://s3-ak.buzzfed.com/static/imagebuzz/web03/2011/2/8/2/whats-in-the-box-24093-1297150496-17.jpg

>>687698687698

Fine. I'll make myself a bacon cookie..........

>>687230687230 EVIL YOU ARE

PLEASE GIVE US MORE

Don't leave me tongue tied.......

Image: http://farm2.staticflickr.com/1248/771795454_5640919cd6_z.jpg

WHY DO YOU DO THIS?!

no cliff hanger nooo

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR

-Epicpony

All my rage are belong to this.

I s'pose I can wait.

>>689693689693 Damn, sorry about that.

>>688258688258

To make sure you keep reading it.

>>689415689415

Image: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-e9B6kfYuvZw/TzX8CgOiiSI/AAAAAAAAAQU/Z25ij58pabY/s400/what_a_twist.jpg

>>687345687345

Cliffhanger

Image: http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2010/038/9/b/MW2_Cliffhanger_Soap_2_by_ImAFiRingMALAzer.png