- Member Since 12th May, 2012
- offline last seen January 22nd
Desideratium
It's true, you know. In space, no one can hear you scream like a little girl.
Desideratium
Joined 12th May, 2012 ·
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This is really good! I was expecting another par for the course, worth-the-read-if-there's-nothing-else-to-do story. But this surprised me, pretty well written, I like the characterizations, and I like how you seem to have at least a basic understanding of how chess works. Instead of just writing "They played chess, it was a battle of minds." like many others who don't really know how to play do. That was a nice change of pace for me.
And tea! Mmm, I AM a tea person. I have a vast collection of tins of loose leaf tea, and many pretty tea pots! I just wish I had more friends who liked tea to share it with... xD
One thing that bothered me was the time skip in the chapter, I sort of understand why it was done, but all it tells us is that the characters have bonded. But we, the readers, have still not spent more than one small bonding session with the characters. In a story like this, in my opinion, it's best to have the characters bond at mostly the same rate as the reader does with the characters. So that, upon the end of the story, the reader considers the characters friends.
Good story so far, I'll await the next chapter.
Cool! Loved it!
I am seriously intrigued by this dynamic. (And I wasn't put off by the "Time passes" bit; time does that, after all, and relationships proceed at a pace that basically ignores time anyway.)
Sign me up for the duration.
6322732
Say . . . that profile pic looks oddly familiar.
6323014
Good to see you again, friend. Glad you're enjoying!
6323081 I know! That's what drew me to this story. I saw it had my profile pic and I was like "Hey, I wonder what this is about". Lovely story!
I kinda want to see vinyl falls in love with the main character and there be a crazy love triangle going on.
Oh yes, A very good story by the looks of the first chapter. I'm in for the ride and looking forward to the next one. Please continue this very potential full story!
Have you played Katawa Shoujo by any chance? The scene by the fire reminds me of Hanako's bad ending. Though I hope this story ends better than that.
I fail to see how any of this is my fault. Especially since all of me knows that this is Vinyl's fault. She could've told any of me less than what she did, or nothing at all, and then I wouldn't be in this mess.
Thanks, Vinyl. With friends like you, I'll never run out of problems!
6352333
Ding ding ding! We have a winner!
I actually started writing this after finishing Hanako's route, and I based Octavia's character off of her a great deal. So glad someone noticed!
As a reward for your perceptiveness, have a ponified best girl:
fireden.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Katawa-Shoujo-General178.png
6354408 I hope this story ends better than the bad end of hanakos route. We all saw how that went.
6354441
Don't remind me.
Don't worry, I wouldn't dare inflict that on another human being.
6354497 Are you writing this in a Katawa Shoujo fashion with 4 acts? Do you need a proofreader or something? I'm no editor but I can proceed the next chapter if you need it.
6354497
Ah, I was about to mention that too, but I read this chapter too late and he beat me to it.
Oh my, I wish I haden't read Hanako's bad ending, it left such a scar on my image of the sweet girl.
As I said in the previous chapter, keep it up good sir!
btw, are you a Fuwanovel member?
6358042
I am not, since KS is the only visual novel that I've read. I will most definitely check it out, though. Thanks!
I know this is romanca and the idea is konda cliche but the way you developed the things were exceptionally and i really liked it
Sorry about the long wait folks. This act went through more drafts than there were songs in the Season 3 finale. Thousands upon thousands of words, scrapped. This just goes to show, never go with your first draft. That would have been a disaster.
Anyhoo. Enjoy.
Not to worry. I'm just trying to figure out how many sides this polygon really has.
I hope they sort this whole mess out.
I didnt seethat one cpming, i actually tjought that she only had a really bad experience about friendship
:3 Awesome man :) keep up the good work :D
I really like this story a lot, the dialogue and emotion are very well enunciated and presented, and I really hope to read on to the solution of this conflict.
Like, no, really, I need to see where this goes.
Excellent work on this chapter!
More PLEASE!
COME ON!!!! Let's see how this ends!!!
So 'Your' name is Symphonic? I'm not sure if you put that there accidentally or if you told us 'Our' name earlier and I completely missed it.
It's been 3 years! There are 2 stories I've been waiting to end for 3 years, don't you dare tell me that it's all over!