I like this story. It has possibilities. The relationship between Luna and Nightmare Moon is ripe for exploration.

The spelling and syntactical errors, however, are brutal. Every time these errors occur, I'm pushed out of the story. I'd love to see a properly edited version of this story.

Be confident! You are a good writer. You just need a little editing, I think.

the story concept is oversused, though I still like the story itself, and you picked an awesome pic to go with it, so...

Image: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hETbm7HSG2M/TukYwU852SI/AAAAAAAAAOQ/9VcHhc-GfxY/s1600/chuck-norris-approved.png

It was an ok read, you do have a good idea though, but could be built up a bit more.

Just saying.

It was the map that caught my attention really.

jasperz0r  Thanks for the support

>>651069651069 Cloud Wander I'm sorry, I'm just awful with spelling.

Hmm, I am not so sure that I like this. The story concept needs to show more originality, the spelling, capitalization, and grammatical errors hurt the concept of this, and not enough detail was given in between the walls of dialogue. Needs some improvement, but this story has the potential to be good. Not amazing, but not too bad. (Chapter Rating: 6/10)

>>651415651415 Dear TheRainbowDash, I'm sorry about the errors and I will edit the future chapters more carefully.

P.S. I edited this chapter some.

>>651081651081 Codexwriter476 I shall do that

I'm sorry if the map I inserted won't load.

I'm not very happy about that.