fluttershywriter
Joined 17th May, 2012 ·
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Aw. I like these types of stories. A little thing: Space out dialogue and paragraphs, easier to read. Still, it's nice.
Very cute. But I feel like it could be made a bit longer; add some of Apple Bloom's thoughts, maybe?
Short and Sweet.
I could actually see something like this happening
Hrrrm Hrrrm...
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/27528/The-Mill
654962 Yeah, sorry if this sounds similar to that story. I realized that after I finished this story, and I tried to make it different. My story isn't nearly as good as that one. :)
That was that was amazing, I loved it.
Bah who down voted this, this deserves all up votes.
Fun story. Upvoted.
Little nitpicks: I recommend spacing between paragraphs to make it easier to read on screen. Writing is decent overall, but recommend changing "nobody" to "nopony."
awwww
655127 I realized that the cutie marks were exactly the same after rereading The Mill. Just changed it to a hammer and a screwdriver. Sorry about that!
654913
Holy CRAP YOUR FACE IS TERRIFYING
655303
Awkies moment when you have the same pic as a friend of mine.. (Only reason I read the story, to be honest.)
Not that I didn't love it, but still
Good story!
I'm curious as to why a hammer & screwdriver, as opposed to a saw, or toolbox?
While the cutie mark is a similarity to The Mill I can see clear differences in both stories. Like included her friends reaction and the ending was very sweet. All of them playing together in the water. The cutie mark also came at the beginning of the story and her mental turmoil was the main focus for the entire story. So I don't see any hints of copying, just a story following along the same idea. Great one-shot, enjoyed reading.
I feel that her cuite mark should have been a blooming apple tree.
Aww, cute little story.
And about the similarities to "The Mill"... why not? The idea itself is not that far-fetched: Applebloom becoming insecure after getting a cutie mark she did not expect. The fear of not fitting with your familiy and friends anymore. It's a classic theme.
It has been heavily hinted that carpentry might be her special talent so having a common tool as a cutie mark isn't that far fetched either.
The ending being similar too? Who is there to blame, it is the obvious (good) ending, where her worries are dispelled and she can actually enjoy her talent and be proud of it.
So I don't really see the problem here. Beside, it is not like it was an reenactment of "The Mill", the focus was different (instead of keeping her work a secret Applejack could see her work right away).
Great story
I could actually see something like this happening in the show. Though, I think Applebloom's cutie mark would have something to do with art(just a personal opinion).
Fav'd
Nice
Eh, I thought I'd comment on this now.
There's a few spelling and other errors, but nothing much to really detract from the story itself. Something like this is how I hope the actual show would go about it, but I get the feeling we're all in for more episodes where they still don't realize what they *really* need to do.
Is there a troll that goes through every fic in fimfiction. And downvote them?
Cuz thats what I think she I see 1 thumbs down
Its like "really!?!? One downvote!?!? What the duce???"
Aw that was cute!
2367538 Yes. Yes there is.
Harmin. Hermininy. Herminer. Hermoingle-oingle-boingle. Harmononucleosis.
THANKS, HERMIONE.
That was so cute!
On both long, short, and throughout the fic
Apple Bloom is a two word name.
vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/mylittleponyccg/images/8/85/CrystalGames_019.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20141122070049
_________________
the
__________
Ya
[Y'all is a contraction of you all, and is a second person plural pronoun.
http://www.alphadictionary.com/blog/?p=16
http://www.economist.com/blogs/johnson/2011/09/southern-american-english
You know what buck it. My tablet crashed just as I got to the two thirds mark and erased all but what's above this point and my battery is about dead after the bucking crash.
So in short.
______________
Ah is always capitalized. I'm not going back and pointing every line again. It's a strong phonetic I thus like I is capped as you would I when talking about oneself.
Apple Bloom is a two word name.
And Y'all is plural.
I'm stopping reading because my tablets almost dead and I'm giving up on helping. No offense and I know I sound aggressive, but my tablet dying after an hour and a half of writing fixes really grinds my gears.