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Trixie finds Pinkie Pie irritating... at best, but when a parasprite finds its way into Ponyville and begins multiplying, she and the Luna Six need her help to contain the plague before it gets out of control... or more out of control than it already is.
Part of the Lunaverse, created by RainbowDoubleDash. Takes place about a week before Boast Busted.
And thanks to Emeral Bookwise for the theme song used in chapter two.
hah, nopony understands pinkie
I'm not certain Pinkie understands Pinkie...
Fave'd, and I'm doing the legwork of adding this to the group's main page.
Any idea on when this is taking place? The only hard rule I have concerning that is that the middle of summer and forward is off-limits.
Seriously-written Lunaverse story?
Instant fave. You can never have to much Lunaverse.If you haven't figured out when to set it, it could be a little bit before Boast Busted (maybe after Fizzy's '"I" for Impossible') or slightly after (a week or three). Just suggestions.
Hmm...If this takes place before File Under 'I' for 'Impossible' then Trixie wouldn't dismiss the disaster related forms so off-hoofedly 
and wouldn't claim nothing ever happens in Ponyville. 
I intended that remark as a sort of tempting of the fate, like when someone says 'At least it can't get worst'. Personally I would place it after Boast Busted, since we don't have any story set after yet.
Okay, proper response to all.
>>649659 Well, it's a strong universe that deserves expansion. Thanks!
>>650035 It's not gonna be like 'Swarm of the Century'... but there will be wacky hijinks. 
No visit from Luna, mind you.
>>651021 That's an awesome Pinkie emoticon. And no, nopony does. She makes Discord back up a step or three.
>>652076 Which is why in RL I don't think I'd like her too much... [/legit]
>>652243 Thanks, and fixed. Anyone else, I don't mind stuff being pointed out like that.
>>652249 Thanks, and sorry. Thought I added it to the group...
And yes, a week or so before 'Boast Busted'.
>>652269 Hope you like it, and yes. That's why it's funny! 
>>652938 Yeah, before Boast Busted. And nope, never too much.
>>653622 And... changed to pre-Boast Busted. Thanks for the heads-up there.
Not bad, still pacing itself, but at least the story is now properly revving up. Nothing much else to say right now.
Oh, except for one thing. It was weird, but kind of fun when Fizzy had CT do a modified Pinkie Pie Swear. Having Ditzy use it unaltered, and under such casual circumstances just feels completely weird.
HOLY HECK IT'S CHAPTER TWO.
That was just about my response too. Not like I have much room to talk, but it had been long enough that I'd almost forgotten about this fic. As it was I found my self once or twice thinking, hey look, this fic is making references to that other fic, wait, this is 'that' other fic.
>>658560 Thanks, and that's my opinion of her. She means well... but it can go so overboard.
>>659268 Oh, if that's the one I'm thinking of, I'm the proofreader for that one! 
>>671990 Yeah, she'll think back, splinter her desk with her head...
>>728412 Coming! Not sure on, snarky, genius side...
>>749309 Not sure. This won't be going as far as Swarm of the Century...
>>749851 Not everypony... just filtered through Trixie.
>>779411 *Ahem* I have four other stories going on. 
And yes, they are. And fixed, thanks.
>>779597 Ooh, I like that one! I might do it...
>>779610 Fixed, thanks.
>>779626 Well... lemme put it this way. Remember in 'Swarm of the Century' where no one really paid attention to Pinkie Pie naming the parasprites and going off in search of musical instruments? Not happening, here. And like I said, four other stories.
>>780087 Next chapter will be revving up, don't worry.
>>780516 LOL! I shall... take that under consideration.
Definitely following this, its nice to see an alternate universe where each installment is well-written. Some FO:E stories honestly only get by on being set in that universe... Anyway, great story, but just one thing. It is called sleight of hand, not slight. Call of Duty may get thousands of things wrong, but the spelling of that phrase is one thing that they get right.
Yay, a situation that this version of the main six will deal with more competently than their Equestria Prime counterparts!
...and now I'm just waiting for Luna to make a surprise arrival in a not-destroyed-but-certainly-damaged Ponyville at the end and cause Trixie and company to suffer the humiliation Twilight and company managed to avoid through sheer dumb luck. 
Ah, the family-friendly zombie invasion has begun!
Or really, the tribbles with wings. Which is still a horrifying thought.
"One million, seven hundred seventy-one thousand, five hundred sixty-one. That's assuming one tribble, multiplying with an average litter of ten, producing a new generation every twelve hours over a period of three days – "
>>783083 Well, we found out now. And what instances? I don't mind corrections pointed out.
>>787736 Thanks. 
And fixed that, thanks.
>>790620 Actually... not really, since Eventime is the Festival in Boast Busted. 
>>955942 It's the best kind of chase, better than a paper chase!
>>955973 It's a heck of a lot smarter than what Twilight did in 'Swarm of the Century'...
>>956016 Don't see why not...
>>956088 Maybe, maybe not...
>>956166 LOL, good idea, but I'm not that cruel... perhaps.
>>956337 Yeah, and it seems the other Lunaverse authors like what I've got planned for her.
>>956400 LOL, it's cool. Just remember my five other stories going on at the same time. 
>>956415 it's Pinkie. Even this version has stuff stashed all over Equestria, methinks.
>>956579 Yeah, good thing they couldn't do that in TOS... 
>>958296 Precisely, which is why this one's gonna be shorter overall than 'Swarm'.
>>958905 Maybe not so doomed as some think... ?
Okay.....now that Ditzy and Raindrops have started to take care of business, it's time to corral a jacked-up, pink-maned case of arrested development and pry some answers out of her. Also to hear a "Trixie is a Meanie McMeanpants" speech because the little kid in Pinkie confuses the stress-induced hostility she's about to face with hatred.
I don't think Pinkie is that far gone, as to speechify about Trixie being mean.
Though I can see her as getting caught up in the middle of an explenation on a tangent about how Trixie's okay even though she's a little full of herself and jerky and...
Short but heartwarming. A few problems with names in the last segment though. Go over it one last time, I think you mix up Dinky and Trixie.
Also don't forget that chronologically Love & Tolerance didn't appear yet, so you can't just refer to it as 'Love & Tolerance'. I suggest you refer to it as a 'bat with an inscription rendered unreadable by mushed parasprites' or something like that.
Hmm... I still like this overall, yet a few things are bugging me too.
-- In the M-verse it wasn't until the next day that the parasprites multiplied to swarm numbers. The ones in this story seem to be breading quite a bit faster.
-- I sorta get why Ditzy thinks it's important to find Pinky, but I don't think Raindrops should have been so easy to convince. At the very least she should have tried to say something like "Come on Ditzy, we both know how random Pinkie can be. She's probably just collecting supplies to throw all these little pests a party or something."
-- It makes sense that Lyra would know where in town to find any given instrument, but the idea that she herself has a large collection of such doesn't seem right.
-- If Silver Script has been squashing paraspites with L&T, shouldn't his solution for the ones in the bags be similar?
-- Silver script seems kind of obtuse about Trixie trying to get Dinky to stay safe at the post office; the scene just seems to drag on unnecessarily.
“Only the greatest and most powerful assistants can help him sweep the post office for any parasprites we missed!”Wait, I don't remember Ditzy taking the tie to go back and tell Trixie what they were called, or am I mistaken?
may be a jerk sometimes-okay, a lot of times-butThere should probably be spaces around those dashes, otherwise the words look oddly hyphenated.
Well, technically anachronistic order means this could be the first appearance, but I still agree. Mention it hear spoils the more dramatic reveal in the future story. Actually, I might even take it a step further and not have him use L&T at all; we know from AHB that he keeps a variety of other implements capable of delivering copious amounts of blunt trauma
>>962188 Ah, gotcha.
>>962319 Yes, Kosh. ;)
>>968536 probably not. Good thing she's not showing up.
>>969405 Some things not even the bat second only to Ace's can solve. And yeah. That was a huge thing in the episode for me.
>>1069333 For once she knows the way. 
>>1073033 Go ahead and read it. It's far better than mine.
>>1168454 lol, yeah. It's gonna take a bit to pry out what she knows... but not that much. And Trixie's not mean! 
>>1168598 I plan on Trixie just shutting Pinkie down and politely but firmly asking what is going on.
>>1169405 Thanks.
>>1169583 Really? Hmm, cool. Thanks.
>>1171035 Single greatest source in Equestria.
>>1172021 Thanks. I fixed the mix up, methinks, and changed it simply to a baseball bat.
>>1173162 Okay. I'm trying to avert 'Poor Communication Kills' with this one, which is why Raindrops is listening to Ditzy instead of dismissing her friend. I guess the prasprites like Ditzy's food. ;) I don't see any reason why Lyra can't have more instruments than her lyre. Silver Script's calmed down a bit and doesn't want to wash/throw out the mail bags. And sometimes you can't see the parasprites for the swarm. I fixed the name and spaced out the hyphens. And I'm keeping him using the baseball bat.
I can appreciate wanting to avert 'Poor Communication Kills' (to be honest that's one of if not my most hated plot contrivances), but I'm still a little worried you might be going too far in the other direction. Pinkie Pie is generally supposed to be the very definition of a character no one takes seriously and even might just largely try to ignore even, if only for the sake of their own sanity. Ditzy Got to see the reaction first hand (and is sorta used to being the ignored one herself), so I get why she's keen to look for Pinkie. I'm also fine with Raindrops agreeing to help; I just think it should take a wee bit more prodding to get here there. Have her agree to do so with a bit more exasperation, have her not really see the point, but be willing to trust, Ditzy's judgment, even if only because she can't come up with a better plan.
As for Lyra, I'm quit fine with her having an extra 2, maybe 3, instruments she plays around with, but having a collection large enough to describe as "more instruments than she knows what to do with" seems too much to me.
>>1175336 yes. Although like with most mysterious mentors, there were times I wanted the throttle him. 
>>1175344 It's her lot in life.
>>1175479 All right, I edited both a bit. But I am trying to avoid the thing I hated in 'Swarm of the Century'. Honestly, very second she let slip their names Twilight should've TKed her back in and asked about knowing their name and why she wanted a banjo. Pinkie knows their names, reacts in disgust and wants a musical instrument. She's random, but even she follows some ABC logic. Same here. Ditzy sees her reaction, hears the name. Two and two equals four and bob's your uncle. No reason for Raindrops not to trust her fellow Element, either.
>>1181254 Yeah. The first Kosh was kinda nice, and not too bad.
>>1181255 I just watched the scene. She reacts in utter disgust to them, and of course names them. And Twilight just brushes it off. "A para-what?" She should've stopped Pinkie dead in her tracks and asked her what was up. This is Twilight 'must learn everything!' Sparkle, after all.
This is also Pinkie "spouts random nonsense all the time" Pie. There was absolutely no reason at that point in time to assume any different. The Parasprites were seemingly harmless and unquestionably cute. I may often find poor communication kills to be a major pet peeve, but it was played quite fluid and naturally in that episode.
Like I said, I can appreciate your intentions, I just feel that in your zealous desire to avert poor connection kills, you might be going too far in the other direction. Ditzy can be strangely insightful but her insistent assertions that Pinkie Pie *MUST* be the solution sort of come off just as contrived as the issues you take with the actual episode, except from the opposite angle (remembering that an actual L!audience wouldn't know how Swam of the Century turned out).
That said, I just read the revised version of the scene with Raindrops, and it plays out much better. I still kind of think Raindrops should be a wee tad more hesitant, maybe even briefly suggest that instead of looking for Pinkie they go check on Dinky and Trixie, if only because Ditzy gives the appearance of being an emotional wreck (which she should be considering the situation she left her daughter in), but it feels a lot more organic now than before so I won't push the issue further.
"Maybe she wants to throw a parade for them."
This, this line right her vindicates all my concerns, because if I hadn't made a fuss it wouldn't exist. I love the fact that it's sort of true.
Nothing really exciting this chapter, but it gets the job done. Trixie's character seemed especially spot on (I really like her commenting on the dramatic value of hard wood floors), and Ditzy was on form for the situation at hand, but everyone else was just kind of there. Not that's a bad thing; it can be hard to script scenes with so many characters at once.
I will say that I'm not sure we needed that big speech about hearing but not listening. It's a good message, but they've all got bigger fish to fry right now, so it seems like something that could have been saved for later. I also think we could have used a few seemingly random tangents when Pinkie was speaking, if only to give the other characters a chance to keep reminding her to stay focused.
Nice treatment of the core lesson. I always thought that the failure to communicate in the actual episode was mutual: The others failed to pick up on Pinkie's apparent knowledge of the pests and ignored her, as mentioned in dialog, but Pinkie also failed to effectively communicate the necessary information. If she'd stopped to say "I know what these are, they're dangerous pests, but they respond to music so we can lure them out of town", the episode would've lasted about ten minutes. 
I also liked how you turned it sideways: In the episode, she just expected everypony to follow along without explaining; here, she never tried to explain because she never expected to be listened to. But that failure of everyone else to listen was still kind of her own fault.
Also, I feel sorry for LV-Pinkie not having her canon friends. 
Also, I feel sorry for LV-Pinkie not having her canon friends.Actually now that you mention it, that does rather bug me. Even in the Lunaverse she's still supposed to be fundamentally Pinkie Pie. She might might not have her tight nit circle of BFFs, but she's still friends with everypony in Ponyville (or at least should think she is).
To sugest that nopony ever listens to her is bad enough, to flat state that she is actually aware of such fact is practically OOC, or should at least result in flat-hair-mode.
OK, firstly congrats on getting featured.
Overall this was a very sweet chapter, nice bit;s of character development and interactions, I felt a little bad for Pinkie, though I still felt Trixie's rant was fairly understandable, and nice to see Raindrops as the peace maker of all things.
If I did have any criticisms they're more or less along the lines of the one's emeral laid out.
So yeah, overall very good chapter, quite fast paced which I felt suited the setting of the fic.
Bonbon raised a hoof. “Yeah. Who put you in charge?”
This seems a bit confrentational. So nopony put her in charge, but it's a plan, and probably what they were going to do anyway, so does it really matter?
To sugest that nopony ever listens to her is bad enough, to flat state that she is actually aware of such fact is practically OOC, or should at least result in flat-hair-mode.
I figured that she's specifically referring to the mares currently in the room with her. I'm certain she still has friends throughout Ponyville; at the very least a lot of ponies did come to the party she threw for Trixie.
I was fine with the BonBon bit. It's already been established that she can get agressive when stressed and that she's got reasons to not like Trixie very much, so while confrontational I can see her raising the point, though I would like it if Trixie did indeed counter with something like the "Do you have a better idea line?", rather than just appologize for no good reason.
As for the idea that Pinkie would only be speaking of the ponies in the room (perhapse even most specificaly just Trixie), that could work, but the line would maybe need to be rephrased into something more like, “What? Listen to me? But... you never listen to me!”
Lyra, go to Sugarcube Corner and listen to that tune.
Why is Lyra going to listen/learn this song right now?
No seriously. Pinkie knows how to play it, only needs a few more instruments, and I'd like to think Lyra can't play a song she has never heard before this day on half a dozen or so instruments at once, when none of them is her preferred instrument. Unless Pinkie breaks her legs, There is no reason for Lyra to learn this right now. Afterwards? Yeah, makes sense that she'd want to learn the song, but now just seems forced.
Otherwise, This is a pretty good chapter. Even though some of the L!6 come across a bit too callous.
>>1335943 Thanks. And I so know how trixie feels when it comes to the pink one. *Shudders*
>>1405135 One of the bigger ones with Pinkie. And thanks. Sometimes you gotta be blunt with her.
>>1405231 That was the intent with her.
>>1405358 They kinda had to 'be' there. ;) It was Bonbon's and Lyra's room. With Pinkie Pie there and the rest of the building sealed it would be logical they'd be confronting an intruder in their home. The speech was necessary to get Pinkie to focus. I don't think it could've been saved for later.
>>1405361 Indeed she is.
>>1405375 yeah. Pinkie could've explained better, but they could've asked when she named the damned things and acted disgusted around them!
>>1405715 Okay. I changed it so she's specifically referring to those in the room.
>>1405772 Ah, dang. And I was asleep for that.
>>1406010 She's Pinkie, for good or bad.
>>1406193 Hmm, okay. Changed it so it was supposed to be more of a joke. And changed it so it refers specifically to those in the room.
>>1407193 Thanks.
>>1407869 Rewrote both so it's clearer the intent.
>>1411499 Actually... Lyra can learn a song from hearing it once. It's her special talent, and Trixie's commented she's probably got more raw magical power than the Element of Magic herself. So, yeah. Having her playing along would be a very good idea.
>>1412377 ...So then why isn't Lyra the best musician to ever live? If she can learn a song by hearing it once, she'd have all the time in the world to practice her own songs, as she doesn't really need to bother practicing classic songs that she'd, only practice her own which she creates. Which would be far less time then most other musicians.
Even the other musician's featured in SoSM had to practice for a while before getting the hang of the song, and that was with instruments they were familiar with. With Lyra, she'd have to play a half dozen instruments she probably uses far less then her lyre in a way she has probably not done too often, especially in the present, as it seems anytime she plays an instrument it's her lyre meaning, if she has to practice, she'd have devoted far more time to that instrument then all others.
To put it in a simply, "Special talent" =/= "Instant expert"
Hmmm....
My guess is that a Lunaverse equivalent to "A Party Of One" would be focus on the Luna Six reminding themselves that while everypony in town knows Pinkie's name, they don't really know her that well. The group of them have learned more about her from this conversation than the Mane Six ever have about M!Pinkie Pie.
I guess this one bugged me a bit, mainly for the reasons others have stated and you have since fixed, but one of the big problems I had is that while finding Pinkie was set up as very important in the previous chapters, this came across more as a simple transition scene where "that one important thing happens to take place, by the way."
What an end to the episode!
I love that you've basically made Pinkie almost one of them again. No longer that pony that everypony disregards.
Now there's even less reason for others to say the Lunaverse hates the Main Mane 6.
And now I wonder if the two Pinkies will meet during Crisis, and whether or not a) the Universes explode and b) they learn from each other.
Wait, now that this is done there are less ongoing stories that I'm following! Nooooo!
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I like it. It's also nice to see Pinkie's biggest issues laid out so succinctly. 
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