The Pony Who is a Warlock from Canterlot
Blossom and I still hadn’t patched things up by the time Tornado Duty rolled around.
The week leading up to it just had me so busy that I barely had any time to worry too much about all the craziness going on in my personal life. I would’ve liked to get things settled with Blossom, but there was just never a good time for it. Or maybe that was just the excuse I used to keep putting it off.
Covering for the boss was enough to keep anypony busy, especially since a lot of the weather team was still mildly mutinous. Nopony outright challenged my authority again, but I had to spend a lot more time than I should’ve riding herd on everypony to keep them working. It helped when Blossom finally came back to work, since when she didn’t do anything to dispute or undermine my authority a lot of ponies resigned themselves to taking their marching orders from me. On the other hoof, we barely exchanged more than a dozen words, and all of those were strictly business. She might not be working against me, but she wasn’t exactly backing me up the way she normally would either.
Then there was the whole Derpy situation. Derpy and I were ... well things had changed a lot. I’d started eating meals over at her place. At first I told myself it was just because I wasn’t in the mood to cook after working my flank off, but it’s kinda hard to chalk up an entire week of spending the night at Derpy’s place to laziness.
A part of me wanted to get out of there while I still could. I was getting way too comfortable spending time with Derpy and her family, and they were getting a bit too used to having me around. Derpy and I had stepped out of the familiar safe territory of just being some friends who banged each other every once in a while and moved into some really scary places. Don’t get me wrong, I loved what Derpy and I had going, but it was one hay of a big change. The idea of getting all settled down and domesticated and ending up with some kinda lifetime commitment to Derpy was rather daunting.
I’d gone into this thing looking for a little casual fun, and now it looked like Derpy was aiming for a ‘till death do us part’ from me. That’s not to say that I didn’t lo–really like her, but the thought of going from my wonderfully irresponsible and fun loving self to Mrs. Derpy Hooves was just a little bit intimidating. I mean, that would make me stepmom to her fillies, and there’s no way in Tartarus I’m cut out for that kind of thing. A couple days ago Blossom was tearing into me for being nothing more than an overgrown filly myself, and now I was headed in a direction where I might be responsible for Derpy’s girls? I think being a little worried about that turn of events was reasonable.
The boss didn’t get back from her thing with Twilight Sparkle until the day before we were due to announce the whole Tornado Duty plan. That was a big relief for me; nopony other than Rainbow Dash could possibly pull off this crazy plan of hers. Oh, I could get everypony to turn out for Tornado Duty, but Rainbow’s plan called for everypony to bust their flanks to get their wingpower up to a solid ten so we could smash the old record to bits. Your average pegasus has around nine wingpower, so getting up to a ten with just a week to pull it off was gonna take some serious effort.
I could get everypony to turn out, and I could definitely work them hard, but if I was doing it they would resent every moment of it. I didn’t blame them at all–nopony wants to get yanked out of their comfortable everyday routines and shoved into a job they never signed up for, and then have to spend an entire week working themselves to exhaustion just to get the job done.
I could make them do the work, but Rainbow Dash brought something special to the equation. All she needed to do was give all the ponies a simple little minute-long speech, and they’d be cheering and stamping their hooves at the idea of being drafted into weather work for a week. Rainbow made it all sound like some kind of epic adventure instead of just a boring pain-in-the-flank civic duty.
I’ve never had enough raw force of personality to sway an entire crowd of ponies like that. One-on-one I can be pretty charming (at least when it comes to getting ponies into bed), but I’m no public speaker like the boss. I guess that’s why she’s the boss, and I’m just her right-hoof mare. I could be twice the manager Rainbow Dash was in every objectively measurable way, and the weather team would still never love me the way they loved her.
Then again, the boss would never be as good at plans, organizing, and details as I was. That was the way things had been ever since Flight School. Rainbow Dash could come up with some awesome plans, but I was the one who handled a lot of the details of making her master plans happen. At least when it came to weather work we didn’t have conflicting goals the way we did with her Flight School pranks. She still stinks at getting away with pranks; her exit strategy usually consists of pointing, laughing, and proudly proclaiming that she did it.
The next day saw just about every pegasus in Ponyville out on the training fields. About the only ponies who got an exception from the boss’ draft were pegasi who were too old or infirm to be able to fly and fillies who hadn’t gone through Flight Camp yet. Even a lot of those were still here, just to watch all the other pegasi in action.
The day’s training got off to a good start. It helped that I knew I was in good enough shape to beat the boss’ goal of ten wingpower with plenty of room to spare, so I didn’t need to bust my flank getting my numbers up. Sadly, you don’t get to take things easy when you’re an assistant manager. Instead of getting myself into shape, I had to work at getting everypony else ready for Tornado Day. There were a distressing number of pegasi who didn’t understand even the most basic principles of physical fitness.
Towards the end of the first day of training I found myself working with Flitter, Cloudchaser, and Thunderlane. None of them were slouches in the wingpower department, but they were all gonna need some help if they wanted to reach the boss’ goal of ten wingpower by next week. Getting a pony to bump their wingpower up by that much takes a lot of work. Some of that was pure muscle training, but a lot of it also came down to technique. Doesn’t matter how strong your wings are if you’re not flying the right way. You’d be surprised how much of a difference even a couple little tweaks in how you flap your wings or hold your body can make. Cutting down on drag does wonders for a pony’s speed, especially for something like Tornado Duty where high winds would be a given.
Unfortunately, the boss kinda stinks at teaching technique. It’s a side effect of being such a naturally gifted flier: since it all just came so easily to Rainbow Dash, she has a hard time explaining it to ponies who have trouble with that kind of thing. I was always better at the technical side of flying than the boss. She just beat me at all the parts of it that actually involved being in the air.
I was making good progress at working things out with them, but I didn’t think I’d have them up to the boss’ standards before the day was done. Working out the kinks in a pony’s flight style takes time, and getting them to get used to flying the right way is even harder. When I mentioned that we wouldn’t finish everything up today, Flitter and Cloudchaser had a quick little whispered conversation. A few seconds later both the twins were grinning at me, and Flitter spoke for both of them. “Hey, do you think you could give me and Cloudchaser a private training session once everypony else is done for the day?”
Judging by the sarcasm and eye-roll, Thunderlane had enough brains to read subtext. “Yeah, ‘training.’” A second later he had a hoof under his chin thoughtfully. “Although ... well, after I busted my flank making things nice for her on Hearts and Hooves Day my fillyfriend said she’d let me bring in a third pony sometime to spice things up. Whaddaya say?”
“Hey, we asked first!” Cloudchaser objected.
“Whoa!” The last thing I needed was ponies getting riled up over who I would bang first. “Look, with all the Tornado Duty stuff going on, I really don’t have time for that kind of thing right now.”
“Hey, I’m fine with waiting until after we take care of all the tornado stuff,” Thunderlane offered reasonably. “It’ll be a like a celebration for breaking the record!”
I thought it over for a bit. Thunderlane wasn’t a bad-looking stallion, but to be honest the whole idea of a threesome just wasn’t–I dunno, I just wasn’t as enthusiastic about it as I normally was. “Look, I'm just not feeling in the mood for that kinda thing.”
Three ponies stared at me with equally shocked expressions on their faces. Sheesh, what’s the big deal? I know I’ve got a reputation and all, but it’s not like I’ve never turned down an offer to bang in the past. Cloudchaser was the first one to speak up. “...Are you feeling okay?”
“Yeah, fine.” I fixed the three of them with a slightly dangerous glare. “Why?”
Thunderlane’s ears went flat. “Whoa, none of us were saying–it's just that...” He stopped and took a moment to gather his thoughts and make sure he wouldn’t accidentally say something that would get him in trouble. “Well, it’s just that you’re usually always up for a good time. Especially a threesome.”
“Well, a lot of stuff's been going on, and I’m not in the mood.” I glowered at the three of them for a bit before I decided to just move on. “Anyway, Flitter, you need to tighten your wings up a bit. You've got the same problem Cloudchaser. Thunderlane, remember to tuck your legs in or extend them to cut down on drag.”
Thunderlane gave a quick and slightly nervous nod. “Um, right, tuck legs, got it.” The twins were just as quick to voice their acknowledgement.
“Right.” I turned my back on the three of them and trotted off at a brisk pace.
I was halfway across the training field before what had happened really sank in. I quickly found my favorite grey mare. “Derpy, I think there’s something wrong with me.”
Derpy tilted her head as both of her eyes focused on me. “What’s wrong, Cloud Kicker?”
“I just turned down not one, but two threesome offers. One of which involved twins!”
Derpy stared at me with an open mouth for a second, then burst into a peal of delighted laughter. I stared at her in confusion until she got over her strange laughing fit. Then she leaned over to kiss me on the cheek and say something that really threw me for a loop. “I love you too, sweetie!”
After dropping that on me, Derpy flew off, humming a happy little tune under her breath.
Was that what was going on here? Had I actually fallen so far in love with Derpy that I was starting to not want to bang other ponies? Maybe it was just a weird phase or something. I mean, I was still getting used to the whole ‘being in a stable committed relationship with a pony you have feelings for’ thing. I guess it figured there would be a few adjustments on my part, but the last time we talked about it Derpy said I didn’t have to be exclusive to her.
So why was I suddenly not comfortable with the idea of sleeping with other ponies? Maybe I just needed a better understanding of where I was with Derpy before I started bringing other ponies into the mix.
My ears perked up as the boss started making the rounds again. Like me, she’d been spending a lot of time helping out various pegasi who lacked in athletic ability, but she took breaks from that every once in a while to walk around the training ground and say a couple encouraging words to anypony that caught her eye. It really was amazing how she could make a pony start working twice as hard just by offering some tiny bit of praise.
I had almost tuned her out when she said something that caught my notice. “A little too much flexibility, Blossomforth.” I looked up at that, and saw that Blossom had somehow managed to get herself tangled up into an epic mess and was twitching helplessly on the ground. I have no idea how she managed to get one of her forelegs over around her back and twisted up between her hind leg and wing, but it definitely didn’t look comfortable. The boss looked right at me as she casually said. “Somepony give Blossomforth a hoof.”
I’d been worried the boss might try to force a reconciliation between me and Blossom. Having her two assistants at odds with each other wasn’t making things any easier on her. I guess it was lucky that she’d just opted for taking an opportunity to put me and Blossom together, instead of some big deal like what happened when she tried to patch things up with me and Fluttershy. I guess Rainbow Dash had learned her lesson there. Unfortunately, the boss’ sudden sense of social subtlety made it much harder to get out of actually talking to Blossom.
It’s not that I didn’t wanna patch things up with her, it’s just ... I didn’t want to do it right now. On the other hoof, if I didn’t do it, eventually things with Blossom would end up about where things with me and Fluttershy were.
I sighed and reluctantly started flapping towards Blossom. On my way there I passed by the boss, who was in the middle of sending everypony home for the day. She paused in the middle of telling everypony what a great job they’d done long enough to shoot a worried look my way. I just rolled my eyes and kept flying–I had the situation well in hoof.
My confidence lasted exactly as long as it took me to fly up to my entangled best friend. Judging by the glare I was getting, Blossom wasn’t exactly happy to see me. I tried to keep things strictly business, but that idea died the instant I touched her. “Hey!” Blossom cried indignantly. “Hooves off!”
I was a bit tempted to point out how silly that demand was under the circumstances, but the last thing we needed was for this to turn into another fight. Instead, I tried to stay as calm and reasonable as I could manage. “Well, you obviously can’t just untangle yourself, and I gotta get you un-stuck somehow.”
Apparently Blossom wasn’t in quite as much of a not-wanting-to-fight mood as I was. “It doesn’t have to be you helping me.”
“So you want some strange pony you barely know getting their hooves all over you instead?”
That seemed to put an end to her objections. at least for the moment. She let out a string of inaudible grumbling that probably wasn’t anything very nice about me, and then grudgingly accepted the situation. “Fine.”
Well, now that the initial hostilities had been taken care of, it was time to get to work on the problem itself. I slowly circled around Blossom while looking her over, trying to figure out just how she’d gotten herself all tangled up and what the best way was to fix it. Just tugging on her at random wasn’t going to fix things. When my examination took me behind Blossom, she snarled out, “Enjoying the view?”
“Trying not to,” I answered as dispassionately as I could manage. Of course, now that Blossom had brought it up it was kinda hard not to notice. I was in a pretty good position to see her everything, and it was a nice view, but that’s not what I needed to focus on right now. Stupid sexy Blossom.
Unfortunately, Blossom wasn’t about to just let the subject drop so we could get on with it. “Did you just imply that I was unattractive?”
How did she even get that from what I’d just said? It’s like she was going out of her way to twist things around. “No,” I answered flatly. If she was gonna play crazy twisting-words-around games, I just wouldn’t give her anything to work with.
Fortunately, Blossom didn’t seem to be in the mood to keep trying to cause trouble. Instead, she seemed almost wistful as she declared, “A month ago you would've given a leg to see me like this.”
I sighed. It wasn’t as bad as trying to start a fight, but I really didn’t need to think about the possible sexual implications of this situation. I was trying to keep the awkwardness levels down. “Not really.” I got to work on untangling her before she could say anything more to derail things, and grabbed one of Blossom’s forelegs. A couple tugs later, she was slightly less twisted up.
“Ow!” Blossom whined as she rubbed her newly-freed limb. I made a note to try to be a bit more gentle with the rest of the unsticking process. Unfortunately, once she was done complaining she went right back to the topic I didn’t want to discuss. “You would've enjoyed seeing me like this, don't lie.”
“I swear, you must be part pretzel or something,” I mumbled under my breath as I looked over Blossom’s new slightly-less-tangled configuration. I thought about just ignoring what she was saying, but I had a feeling she wasn’t going to let this drop until I gave her some kind of satisfaction. “Well, I won't deny there is a certain aesthetic appreciation that comes from seeing you this way.”
“Just an appreciation?” Blossom asked archly.
I almost laughed at that. It was just such an utterly un-Blossom thing to say. Maybe I have been a bit of a bad influence on her. “What, were you expecting me to start groping you the instant I had half a chance and you weren’t in a position to stop me?”
Blossom hesitated a bit before she nervously responded. “Honestly, yes, the way you used to always go on.”
I was a little hurt by Blossom’s answer; I thought she knew me better than that. If she actually thought I was capable of doing that kind of thing to somepony who didn’t want my hooves on them... “Look, that was just me joking around. I wouldn't do that kind of thing with somepony that didn't want me doing it. I know it’s not one of my rules, but that’s because some things are so obvious that you don’t even need a rule to know not to do it.”
I looked Blossom over again, and grimaced. “Um, speaking of touching ponies in inappropriate places. I'm gonna have to touch you on the sensitive parts of your wings in a bit. Sorry, it’s the only way to get you loose. It's just, you got your wing kinda tangled up in here. Lemme know when you're–”
Blossom abruptly cut me off with an embarrassed little squeal. Since I’d been looking at her wing at the time, it wasn’t exactly hard to figure out what had her so upset. I let out a justifiably aggravated groan. “Okay, popping a wingie isn't making this any easier for either of us.” Knowing she was getting off on the idea of my hooves-on help kinda sent the awkward levels through the roof, not to mention it would make untangling her leg from her wing a bit more complicated.
Unsurprisingly, Blossom was blushing up a storm. “Well it's not like I meant to do it!” she snapped defensively.
“Yeah, it’s just a biological reaction.” A very, very awkward biological reaction under these circumstances.
“You'd know about that, wouldn't you?” Blossom snapped at me.
I know she was probably just lashing out because she was embarrassed, but I was getting a little fed up with being the calm reasonable one while she got a free pass on any nastiness she tossed my way. “I'm not the one who pops wingies at the thought of her best friend helping her get untangled. How'd you get this tied up by accident anyway?”
Snapping at her could’ve easily gotten us into a fight right then and there, but to my immense relief Blossom took a page from my book and just let my snapping slide in order to focus on answering my question. “I was trying to save time by doing most of my stretching at once. I checked out a new book on exercises from the library to get ready for all the working out I would need to do, so I tried to work in some of the new stretches while doing my usual ones.”
“Yeah, probably not your best idea.” Blossom nodded and mumbled her agreement. “Then again, it gives you an excuse to get felt up by yours truly.” A second later I wanted to smack myself over the head. Sexual teasing was the exact opposite of what we needed right now, but it had just slipped out. I guess that was a habit I needed to break when it came to Blossom. “You ready? I'll try to keep this as quick and non-awkward as possible.”
Blossom sighed and buried her head in a free foreleg. “Fine, let's get this over with.”
I took a deep breath and prepared myself. “Alright. Here we go.” I tried to get things done as quickly as possible, but I wound up having my hooves on Blossom’s wing for several seconds before I finally got it free. More than long enough for things to get weird.
Blossom still had her face buried in her one free hoof, but I heard a couple muffled sounds from her. I tried very hard not to think about what those sounds meant, or why exactly her wing came out stiff and fully spread after I freed it.
My life was so much less complicated back when my best friend wasn’t sexually attracted to me. Or at least when I could pretend she wasn't sexually attracted to me.
Derpy had apparently stayed behind to keep an eye on me and Blossom, and now she came trotting up to the two of us with an unreadable little frown on her face. “Um, Cloud Kicker? Do you want any help?”
Blossom let out a startled squeak, but a second later she seemed to be back to her old assertive self. “No, she doesn’t.”
Great, Blossom’s jealousy was back in full force now. I guess that figured: now that her crush on me was out in the open, there was no point in pretending she didn’t have big issues with my current fillyfriend. I let out the nervous chuckle of a pony who really doesn’t wanna get caught in the crossfire. “I think this is horrendously awkward enough with just me and Blossom.”
Derpy gave a reluctant nod. The fact that Blossom was currently doing her best to drill a hole through Derpy’s head with her concentrated death glare probably contributed. Derpy gave a nervous little laugh of her own and stepped back. “Ah, okay. I'll just leave you to it then.” She turned around and was about to fly off when she stopped and looked over her shoulder at me. “Oh, one more thing! Could you pick Dinky up from school today? I've got another out-of-town delivery that'll keep me away until this evening.”
“I ... yeah, sure. Of course.” I hadn’t been expecting that request and wasn’t quite sure about doing something so parental-esque as picking Dinky up from school, but I wasn’t gonna leave Derpy and her daughter hanging. Her request was just a bit odd though. “I thought you had the week off because of Tornado Duty?”
Derpy sighed and shook her head. “Yes, but it's an organ donation for the hospital–Tool Time says it has to be tonight, and I’m the best flier of anypony at the post office.”
Alright, I couldn’t really argue with that. Stuff like organ donations was a bit too important to just let wait for a couple days. “You sure you'll be alright? The boss has kinda been working you and everypony else into the ground.”
“I talked to Rainbow, she's letting me count the delivery as part of the training,” Derpy reassured me. Now that she mentioned it, the boss had set a kinda easy workout routine for her today. It probably also helped that Derpy was above average when it came to wingpower, so the boss mostly had her working on improving her coordination. “Rainbow just wants me to time myself during the delivery,” she added with a bubbly laugh.
Yeah, that sounded like the boss. I was about to start laughing along with Derpy when Blossom interrupted the both of us by very loudly clearing her throat. “Still tangled up here.”
Oh, right. For a moment I’d forgotten that I was in the middle of something “Uh ... just a sec Blossom.”
Derpy’s laughter faded away, and she shot me another one of her concerned little frowns. “Cloud Kicker, we talked about this...”
“What’s the matter?” Blossom cut in venomously. “Am I interrupting your happy couple moment? Oh, I am so sorry! I'd leave, except I'm kinda incapable of movement right now!”
Derpy’s ears fell flat on her head. “Sorry, Blossom, I didn't mean to cut you out like–”
Blossom’s mouth opened up and judging by the snarl on her lips she was fixing to dish out another dose of nasty. I could put up with that when it was directed at me, but when she was going after Derpy... “Hey!” I gave Blossom a sharp little nudge. “You can stay like that if you don't ditch the attitude.”
Derpy shot me a disapproving frown and a hint of warning entered her voice. “Cloud Kicker...”
Right, losing my cool. Calm down, deep breaths.
Once I had things back under control, I turned to Derpy and offered an apologetic shrug. “Yeah. Um ... maybe you better go, Derpy.” Blossom obviously wasn’t in the mood to be remotely civil while Derpy was around.
Derpy’s ears dropped and she let out a resigned sigh. “Yeah, that would probably be best. Don't forget about Dinky, okay?” She turned to Blossom. “Sorry to keep you, Blossomforth.”
“Just go,” Blossom growled back.
I rounded on Blossom once Derpy had flown off. I had my temper under control, but I was still less than happy with my best friend right now. “That was uncalled for and you know it.”
Blossom flared her one free wing. “The only reason she came over here was because she was mad that you were helping me!”
Well, that was a load of horseapples. “Derpy doesn't get mad. That was pure jealousy.”
Blossom let out a long-suffering sigh as if she was the victim here. “Okay, okay, fine–maybe I’m jealous of her! Are you happy now?”
“Not particularly.” We needed to get off this topic; Blossom was getting defensive, and I was still mad about how she’d treated Derpy. At this rate we were gonna end up fighting again. “Look, Blossom. We...” I trailed off uncertainly, trying to figure just what it was I wanted to say.
Blossom filled in the gap with a resentful little grumble. “You bang. Regularly. I get it.”
I placed a placating hoof on her shoulder. “Yeah, we do. But that doesn't mean I'm not still your friend.”
“No, of course not,” Blossom’s voice was dripping acid. “It's not like you used my crush on you against me in a fight or anything.”
I flinched as the guilt of that hit me. I still felt like a total mule for that. “Look, Blossom, I'm really sorry about that.”
“That hurt, Cloud Kicker.” Blossom looked so vulnerable when she admitted how badly my words had torn into her. “That really hurt.”
I stewed in guilt. “I know. For what it’s worth, that fight has the number two spot on my list of things I’d change if I could go back and do it all over again.”
Blossom’s voice went carefully neutral. “Yeah. Good.” There was a long, awkward silence before she hesitantly added. “Number one is what happened with you and Fluttershy, right? I, um... it wasn't really fair for me to bring up Fluttershy like I did either. Sorry for that.”
My temper flared up a bit when she reminded me of that. I’d said some nasty things, but only after I’d been provoked. “You're right, that was out of line.” I remembered Derpy’s advice, and took a couple deep breaths and reined myself in. “But ... yeah. We both said some things we regret.”
Blossom let out a heavy sigh. “You hurt me, I hurt you, let's just forget about it, okay?”
I gave a sharp nod. “Sounds like a good idea.” Putting the whole fight behind us sounded like a damn smart thing to do. Unfortunately, that was probably easier said than done.
Right now Blossom and I were both dealing with a gigantic mess of complicated emotions. On the one hoof, we were both still mad at each other and feeling pretty hurt about the fight, even if we were trying to move past it. On the other hoof, we’d been best friends for long enough that we still cared about each other, even if we were on the outs right now. Then there’s the more-than-friendship feelings Blossom was nursing for me, just to toss another layer of complication onto the whole situation. It would be nice to get this all sorted out so Blossom and I could go back to being able to have a simple conversation without our emotions bouncing all over the place. Hopefully, we’d taken the first step along the path to resolving this whole problem.
Blossom let out an annoyed little grumble. “So we’ve settled that. Great. Now that we've kissed and made up, could you get me out of this position? My leg is really starting to hurt.” It was oddly relieving to hear her voice return to its normal moderate grouchiness. It beat the pain and anger that had been there ever since the fight.
For the first time since our falling out, I felt like Blossom and I were gonna make it work out. There was still stuff we needed to deal with, but we could get it done. I grinned at her. “Yeah, back to getting you free.” I took hold of her hind leg and pulled it free without too much trouble.
That was enough to free Blossom completely. She let out an extremely satisfied grunt as she stretched her legs and wings. “Aaah, that's so much better.” She shook out the back leg I’d just freed and let out another groan. “Oh, that's going to cramp for sure.”
Yeah, I guess being stuck like that for as long as she was would make her cramp up. I had a solution for that. Good thing the boss had already sent everypony home for the day, because Blossom would probably die of embarrassment if anypony else saw this. “I'll probably regret this, but lie down.”
Blossom tucked her tail, clearly uncertain about what I had in mind. If that wasn’t enough, she even shot a nervous glance off to one side. “Um, okay.” She very slowly settled down onto the ground.
I sat down next to her, took her cramping hind leg in hoof, and started kneading at the muscles. “I do know a bit about massaging. Can't have you stuck with a leg you can’t use.”
Blossom let out a moan of relief as I set to work on her poor abused leg. Before long she was sporting another wingie and chuckling sheepishly. “Sorry.”
I removed one of my forehooves from her for long enough to apply it to my face. “This is gonna complicate our friendship, isn't it?”
Blossom let out another nervous little laugh. “I didn't think things could get any more complicated after the lemonade. I–uh, I was planning to tell you about how I felt. That day. At first I thought the alcohol would make it a little easier to spit it out, but it ... kinda didn’t go the way I planned.”
“No, really?” The two of us shared an awkward little laugh at that, before I waved a hoof dismissively “Nah, the lemonade thing was just booze and some bad timing on your part. This...”
Blossom very slowly nodded in agreement.” Yeah...um, well, it did kind of put things out in the open. This was a ... what’s the word for it? Right, this was a catalyst.”
If my admittedly somewhat vague understanding of the word was correct, she was right. “Yeah. This ... thing you’ve got for me. It isn't some passing little crush you're gonna get over in a bit once you find some new hot piece of flank, is it?”
Blossom shifted around uncomfortably under my hooves, and she was blushing horribly. “Um, well ... no, not really.”
So much for there being an easy solution to the problem. “Yeah, I was afraid of that.” The two of us lapsed into an uncomfortable silence. I continued working out the tension in her hind leg, until my forehoof slipped off target. Unfortunately, it ended up brushing along exactly the sort of place I really shouldn’t be touching right now. “Sorry, my hoof slipped.” I gave a very nervous little laugh. “I didn't mean to be sending mixed signals.”
Judging by the gasp and shudder my slip-up produced, Blossom was quite fine with it. “N-no worries...” she answered shakily.
Okay, that made things considerably more awkward. In fact, it would probably be a good idea to stop the massage here. What I’d done should be more than enough to keep her leg from cramping up. “Uh. Speaking of mixed signals, it occurs to me that all the joking around might've done that sometimes. I owe you an apology for that.”
Blossom still seemed to be riding the high of my little error and was barely even listening to what I said. “Yeah, I–right.” A second later she noticed that my hooves weren’t working their magic anymore, and let out a little whine of protest.
I sighed, and mentally prepared myself to say something that probably wouldn’t go over all that well, especially with my little goof during the massage. “Look, Blossom, I–you can do a lot better than me, you know?”
Blossom stared at me in blank incomprehension. “H-huh?”
Yeah, this was probably a lost cause. It was still worth a shot, though. “Just ... y'know, I'm an irresponsible self-centered sex maniac. There are a lot of ponies out there who would be better for you than I would. I mean, why would you want a pony like me?”
“Because I love you.” I was shocked at how matter-of-factly she said it, not to mention hearing the words themselves. I’d already known she felt that way, but actually hearing those specific words directly from her still had an impact.
There wasn’t really much I could say against that. Blossom took my silence as a cue to continue. “You're also my best friend, and ... well, Derpy's asking you to pick up her daughter. You can't be that irresponsible.”
I felt a slight flare of resentment at that. Complaining about what she’d just said made it a little easier to not think about the three-word bomb she’d just dropped on me. “So now I’m not irresponsible? That's not what you said the last time we talked.”
Blossom took her time very slowly getting back onto her hooves before she finally answered me. “Last time we talked I wasn't really in the best mindset. I–we said things we shouldn't have, and that was one of them. You've balanced your sex life with work almost flawlessly over the years and still got to assistant manager of the weather team. That's pretty responsible.”
That was true; aside from the mess in Cloudsdale I’d done a pretty good job of keeping my personal life from messing up my professional life. However, ‘aside from the mess in Cloudsdale’ was a pretty big exception. “Well. You did have a bit of a point. I wasn't exactly thinking things through when it came to the trouble I might be causing for other ponies.”
Blossom shook her head and placed a hoof on my shoulders. “You've never had anypony else to worry about before. Besides, those jerks at the bar probably deserved it.”
I felt some righteous fury boil up at the memory of that confrontation. “Oh yes, they very much deserved it. They called Derpy a retard.”
Blossom gasped in shock, before her eyes narrowed in anger. “You were too nice to them. I can’t believe anypony could say something like that!”
I have to admit, I was relieved by that reaction. A small part of me had been just a bit worried that Blossom’s jealousy might get the better of her decency when she found out I was defending Derpy’s honor in that fight. “Yeah, those three were jerks. I mean, you hate Derpy, and even you think they had it coming.”
“I don’t hate Derpy,” Blossom mumbled uncomfortably.
I looked appropriately skeptical about her claim. “You do remember what happened five minutes ago, don't you? When I had to ask Derpy to leave because you were completely incapable of showing her basic civility?”
Blossom began intensely studying the ground as she self-consciously pawed at it. “I don't hate Derpy. I just … really, really don't like her all that much.” She lifted her head and met my eyes defiantly. “But even though I don’t like her, I would never call her a retard!”
Credit where it was due: even at her worst, Blossom was better than those jerks. “I know you wouldn't say something like that to her, Blossom.”
Apparently Blossom had gotten herself riled up at the thought I was lumping her in with the likes of the jerks from Flight Camp or Sticks and Stones. Considering the category that put her in, I could understand her displeasure. “How could anypony insult Derpy like that? I mean, yeah, she's a little clumsy, and there's the eyes, but … she seems okay. I've met Dinky once or twice at the library, and she seems like a decent enough filly … so I guess Derpy does okay with her.”
“She does better than okay.” There was a hint of fierce pride in my voice as I declared. “She's the best damn mom I've ever known.” Blossom didn’t seem entirely sold on the idea of Derpy Hooves as the best mother ever, so I explained myself a bit more. “I've never seen a pony who tries as hard as she does to do right by her fillies.”
Blossom didn’t seem to care for the praise I was heaping on her romantic rival. “How could she be such a great mother? She's all over the place with her job.”
I took half a step forward and hit her with an annoyed glare. I made sure my disapproval was very clear from the harsh tone of my voice. “She's ‘all over the place with her job’ because she needs enough money to take care of two growing fillies and give them everything they need to grow up happy.” I suppose that was one advantage of her hook-up with me: if we did end up making it a long-term thing, she could afford to cut back on the post office hours some. . Between my assistant manager salary, a little bit of carefully invested family money, and the fact that I wasn't supporting two fillies I was a lot better off financially than she was.
Blossom’s ears fell back flat on her head and she held a forehoof up. “I didn't mean it like that. Of course she needs a job to take care of them. I–I just meant, well, how does she have time for them if she's so busy?”
“Simple.” There was still a little bit of anger in my voice, but I tried to reign it in. “She makes time for them.”
“Oh.” Blossom went quiet for a bit, until she almost grudgingly admitted. “I ... guess that's pretty cool. I dunno how she does it.”
“She works her flank off,” I answered simply. “She rarely gets more than six hours of sleep a night, and she doesn't have much of a social life. I'm the first special somepony she's had since Dinky was born, and even when we were just friends she had to leave me hanging more than once because her girls needed her.”
Blossom gave an uncomfortable little flutter of her wing. “Um ... I didn't know that.”
“Well, now you do,” I answered simply.
One unpleasant adjustment to spending time at Derpy’s house had been discovering that unless the girls were asleep, there was a very good chance that any funtime I had with Derpy would get interrupted at some point. One time, Dinky had come in because she’d had a nightmare, and I wound up exiled to the couch so Derpy could sleep with her filly. I suspect Derpy and Dinky might have been alright with me staying, but that was getting way too far into parental territory for me. I didn’t mind lending a hoof with the girls, but I wasn’t their stepmom or anything.
Blossom seemed to be struggling to come up with what she wanted to say. She was probably wary of seeming too critical of Derpy’s parenting ability right after I’d chewed her out for doing so. “Yeah. Um ... I know she's got a reason with Dinky, but why did she take Sparkler in? She had to have been busy enough with one filly.”
I’d wondered that myself when I first heard about the adoption, but there a simple answer to it all. “Because her heart's too big for her own good sometimes. When I asked why she was going through with the adoption, she just looked me dead in the eyes and said ‘Because every filly deserves to have a mommy.’”
I suspect Derpy’s personal history might have tied into it the decision to adopt another filly as well, though she had never said anything about that to me. A lot of the foals that end up in the adoption system had been given up by single, teenage moms–almost exactly like the position she’d been in when her foal had been born. I guess deciding to raise Dinky despite all the trouble that came with that decision gave her a different perspective when she saw somepony like Sparkler who wound up stuck in the adoption system.
Blossom sighed almost wistfully. “I guess she is a sweetheart ... even though I don’t like her, she doesn't really seem to hate me.” Her voice turned bitterly resentful as she scowled at nothing in particular. “Why should she hate me? I'm not a threat to her.”
I stepped up next to her and put a foreleg over her shoulders. “Hey. It's not like that. She doesn't hate you because that's not the way she is.”
Blossom rolled her eyes and shrugged my foreleg off. The bitterness in her voice was joined by a helping of sarcasm.“Yeah yeah, she's just so much better than me. That's why you fell for her instead of me, right?”
Oh Celestia, I did not want to be having this conversation, even though I knew it couldn’t be avoided. “You and Derpy are both great in your own ways. You had your chance and you didn't take it.” I let out an annoyed sigh. “Besides, I'm still trying to figure out how I fit into all of this relationship business–I’m not exactly used to dealing with this whole lovey-dovey thing.”
Blossom was staring at me open mouthed, blinking her eyes owlishly. “Did–did you just say that I had a chance? I never told you because I thought you'd just turn me down, but...”
Alarm bells were ringing in my head, and I tried for a quick change of subject. “Well, yeah, you're just too prudish about the whole banging thing. It was fun to tease you about it, and, well ... as great as things are with Derpy, I hate seeing you hurt like this.”
Blossom gave an aggravated stomp of her hoof. “You're not answering me, Cloud Kicker. Did I have a chance with you, or not?”
Damn, I wasn’t getting out of this one. “Well ... yeah.”
“Oh.” Blossom sat down in the dirt, a dumbfounded look on her face. “I ... had a chance. And I lost it.” She gave a loud sniffle, and I saw moisture gathering in her eyes. “That's ... dammit!”
Then the tears started.
Well, that’s just great. I have enough trouble with this emotional stuff when it's the good emotions! Despite my best efforts to prevent it, I’ve broken a heart or two in the past, and I’ve never been too good at handling the fallout. “Aw, Blossom. Um...” I awkwardly reached over to start patting on the back. My instincts told me to give her a hug, but I wasn’t sure if she’d take that the wrong way or not.
“It's not fair!” Blossom howled out in between sobs.
“I know, I know,” I reassured her as best I could, even thought I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t really work. “I, um ... I do love you as a friend at least. That’s something, right?” Feathers! I was starting to think I should have lied, even though I’m normally a fan of trying to stay honest. Blossom had it bad for me, and telling her she’d missed her chance hurt.
Blossom was inarticulately blubbering despite my lackluster efforts to reassure her. She eventually managed to get a few comprehensible words out.“Wu-why didn't you tu-tu-tell me?”
I decided to throw caution to the wind and gave her that hug. It seemed to do more good than the words I’d been using before then. Once she’d regained her composure, I gave Blossom her answer. “Rules seven and eight. You wanted more than I was ready to give.” Four was also in the mix, but regardless of how legitimate of a reason it is, ‘I didn’t want to risk ruining our friendship’ rarely goes over well.
Blossom pulled back and glowered at me. “So then I never had a chance after all?’
I sighed and tried to explain what I’d meant. “Maybe I should have told you about my rules earlier. I was hoping you'd realize that I'm a not a 'commitment' pony, and move on.”
Blossom shoved me back a cry of rage. “Why did you tell me I had a chance if I didn't! Celestia dammit Cloud Kicker, stop jerking me around! Is messing with my emotions some kind of feathering game for you?”
“You had a chance, dammit!” I snapped before she could build up too much rant momentum. I might not be a perfect pony, but I don’t go for sick mind games with ponies I care for. “You just needed to adjust your expectations!”
“Adjust my expectations?” Blossom shrieked indignantly. “Oh, you'll make an exception to all your stupid rules for Derpy, but all I get is 'adjust your expectations!' That's horseapples, and you know it!”
I wanted to be mad at her. That would be a lot easier than actually facing what she’d just said. It was a fair point: I’d violated my rules to Tartarus and back when it came to Derpy. If I made exceptions for her, it wasn’t exactly fair to deny Blossom on those grounds. That’s not to mention that ... well Derpy had kind of pointed out that quite a few of my rules weren’t quite so noble as I’d believed. Especially the rules I’d always told myself made Blossom off-limits. It’s possible I might have some commitment issues.
In the end, there was nothing I could do but give her the honest truth. She’d gotten a raw deal from me, and there was nothing I could do to change that. “Blossom ... I'm sorry. I know it's not what you want to hear, but I don't know what else to say.”
Blossom glared at me, but she was hurting too much to put any real fire into it. “This isn’t something you can fix with a simple ‘I’m sorry,’ Cloud Kicker.” She got back up and turned her back on me. “I think I want to be alone for a while.” Without another word she took to the air, leaving me behind.
So much for patching things up.
On the bright side, I hadn’t feathered things up so badly with Blossom that she spent the next couple days locked up in her home crying again. She was back for the next day of training, and aside from the fact that things were still a long way from right between the two of us, she seemed to be doing alright.
I was a little surprised to see that Eepysqueak had turned out too. When she skipped out on the first day of training, I’d assumed she was a lost cause. She’s always been a weak and very nervous flier, so to be honest I’d kinda been expecting her to drop out. I’d even double-checked the math to make sure we could still break the record without her.
Not that having her here was a bad thing. Well, it was a bit awkward for me, but I could bury my personal issues to get the job done. We might be able to set a new record without Fluttershy, but every extra bit of wingpower helped. Besides, helping out with Tornado Day might give her a bit of a much-needed confidence boost.
I looked over the passel of pegasi gathered together for another day of training, and noticed that one of these ponies did not look like the others. What was Twilight Sparkle doing here? She does kinda suffer from a distinct lack of wings. I spotted her tinkering with some kinda device, and I wondered out loud. “What she’s doing?”
“She’s checking her anemometer.” I was bit surprised that Blossom answered my largely rhetorical question. “It’s for measuring our wingpower.”
“Yeah, I know what an anemometer is.” I don’t even know why I snapped at her. “I was pushing clouds back when you were still in school.” Blossom flared her wings and hit me with a death glare, but I held up a hoof and cut her off before she could give me a piece of her mind. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap. It’s just ... sorry.”
Blossom sighed, tucked her wings back in, and went quiet. The talk yesterday might have settled one or two issues, but things were still a long way from right between us. We might at least be talking to each other again, but both our tempers were still frayed. One wrong word from either one of us would set the other off. Still, at least we were talking. That was progress, right?
When Blossom finally spoke again, it was in a very level, carefully neutral tone. “I helped Twilight get it working. She needed a pegasus to test it out, and I ended up making a couple little tweaks to her design.”
“Really?”
“Yes.” Blossomforth shot back testily. “Twilight and I get along pretty well, and I like machines. Did you think you were the only friend I had? Or that I didn’t have any hobbies that don’t involve spending my free time with you.”
I backed up a step and held up my hooves placatingly. “Okay, okay. Chill out, Blossom.”
Unfortunately, once Blossom’s temper gets going it can be hard to get her settled down again. “You call yourself my best friend, but the truth is that you don’t even know anything about me.” I tried to object to that, but she didn’t let me get a word in edgewise. “Who were my parents, Cloud Kicker? That’s a basic enough thing for anypony to know about their best friend, isn’t it?”
I opened my mouth to answer her, and found myself drawing a complete blank. Absolutely nothing. I didn’t know their names, what they did–hay, I didn’t even know if they were both pegasi, or if she came from a mixed marriage. She could even be a throwback from non-pegasi parents, like the Cake Twins. Complete and total blank.
Right as I was about to start going into panic mode, I realized something. I don’t have a photographic memory or anything, but I’m generally not in the habit of completely forgetting something as big as my best friend’s parents. If I was only remembering a couple unimportant little details that would be one thing, but I was a drawing a complete blank. In other words... “That’s a trick question. You never told me about your parents.”
Blossom’s righteous indignation faltered at that. “Well–but you never asked!”
That was true, but it was a weak counter-argument and she knew it. After spending a couple seconds with her mouth hanging open as she tried to come up with something more to say, it was Blossom’s turn to apologize and shuffle her hooves while looking slightly ashamed of herself. “I–that wasn’t really a fair question for me to ask. I was a foundling somepony dropped off at the Cloudsdale Orphanage, so...”
Oh Tartarus. “Look, Blossom, I’m sorry about–”
“Don’t,” she cut me off. “There’s no point in you apologizing for something that you had nothing to do with.” Blossom sighed and ran a hoof through her mane. “It wasn’t that bad, really. It was actually pretty nice, aside from the fact that it was an orphanage and all. The caretakers were nice, we had everything we needed to get by, and I even got a couple presents on Hearthswarming and my birthday. Or at least, the the closest guess they could make to what my birthday was. Nothing like some of the stuff that goes on in the groundside places. I guess it must be one of the side effects of how militaristic pegasus society used to be–taking care of orphans would be more important in a warrior culture.”
Well, that was a bit of a relief. I hadn’t gotten the full story from Sparkler, but some of the stuff she’d said made it clear that her own time in the orphanage system hadn’t been all that pleasant. At least there weren’t two ponies in my life who had gone through that sort of thing. I made a mental note to dig out some spare bits for a donation to a Cloudsdale Orphanage. It would be a better use for the money than most of the things I would do with it in any case.
I was pondering whether or not I should mention that to Blossom when she started coughing. Not bad or anything, but it was a bit worse than just one or two little coughs. The boss and Twilight Sparkle came to the wrong conclusion about who must’ve been doing the coughing though, because a second later Thunderlane was getting sprayed with disinfectant while the boss chewed him out for faking an illness, despite the fact that he was protesting his innocence. The boss followed that up by volunteering him to be the first test flier.
Blossom giggled at Thunderlane’s plight, at least until she started coughing again. Okay, one cough I could ignore, but now I was just a bit concerned. “Blossom? You alright?”
She coughed a couple more times before she finally answered. “I’m fine. I just had a little something caught in my throat.”
“Are you sure?” I was a little surprised to see that Derpy had worked her way over to us. Not that I wasn’t happy to see my fillyfriend, but after how badly things went between the two of them yesterday I’d figured Derpy would be keeping her distance for a while.
Fortunately for my peace of mind, Blossom seemed content with just glaring at Derpy and refusing to acknowledge her question. Things might have gotten hazardous if not for the very convenient distraction provided by Thunderlane taking his practice run. To my vague annoyance, he didn’t remember my advice about tucking his legs in. Despite that, he still managed nine point three wingpower.
From the way the draftees started cheering and Cloudchaser started fawning over him, you’d think a nine point three was actually good. I mean, it’s an above-average score, but it’s nothing that amazing.
The boss seemed to be thinking the exact same thing. One look at her face, and I knew what was coming up next. Rainbow Dash never could resist an opportunity to show off.
“Might be a good idea to brace yourselves, everypony.” At least she wouldn’t have too much time to build up speed. I was there for both the times that she pulled off a sonic rainboom, and I’m perfectly fine with only knowing what it looks like from a safe distance. That rainbow-colored shockwave might be very pretty, but it would not be a fun thing to experience up close.
One sixteen-point-five-wingpower hurricane later, just about everypony was staring up at Rainbow Dash in awe. Naturally, that was the perfect time for her to bust out another one of her little inspirational speeches, and despite the fact that I knew she was putting on a show I found myself getting into the swing of things. I tried to tell myself I was just doing my part as assistant manager to help her work the crowd, but the truth is that when the boss really gets going it’s kinda hard not to get caught up in the moment.
After that it was on the wingpower tests for everypony else. Getting everypony’s numbers would tell us who needed some serious help getting their numbers up and who we could afford to let handle things on their own. Not to mention we could stick some of the strong fliers who already had a ten or better on mentor duty for the weak ones. The boss and I probably wouldn’t be able to take care of everypony.
I parked myself next to the boss so we could talk things over while everypony else was testing. So far we were off to a good start; most of the numbers we were getting started with a nine. Bumping up a pony’s numbers by a couple decimal places in a single week was small potatoes, a little working out and style cleanup would handle that just fine. It’s when you need to start going up by whole numbers that some serious work is needed.
“They’re not doing bad at all for a bunch of civilians,” I commented. “Looks like we’ll have time for those teamwork exercises I wanna run.”
The boss frowned a bit at that. “We’ll see. Not everypony has gone yet, and there’s no point in doing teamwork stuff if they can’t even put out enough wingpower to get the job done.” She gave a dismissive wave of her hoof. “Besides, all they need to do is fly in a circle. Anypony with working wings can do that.”
I sighed and carefully restrained the urge to facehoof. “No offense boss, but you’ve never tried to run anything this big before. One thing I learned at West Hoof, there’s a big difference between getting one pony to do something simple and getting a hundred to do something simple in the same place at the same time, all without getting in each others’ way.”
The boss gave a noncommittal grunt, and took advantage of one of our draftees managing to break ten winpower to avoid answering me. “Nice going, Silverspeed!” The boss turned to the next pony in line, one of our weather regulars. “Hey Lightning Bolt! You gonna let a draftee beat your wingpower numbers?”
“Encouraging rivalry between the weather team and the ponies we’ve conscripted. That’s gonna do wonders for teamwork.” That bit of sarcasm earned me an annoyed glare from the boss, and in fairness I kinda deserved it. Sure, the boss was in the wrong here, but there was a better time and place to point that out that out in public where everypony would see and hear if we got into it. It didn’t matter that the boss was wrong, in fact that probably made it worse. Nothing undermines a leader’s authority quite as badly as pointing out to everypony that they just messed up.
Fortunately, it didn’t look like anypony except Twilight Sparkle and her pet dragon had overheard us. If any of the trainees had heard me, the boss might’ve had no choice but to smack me down just to save face. Instead she just grunted and gave a dismissive wave of her hoof. Anypony who knows her as well as I do knows that’s Rainbow-ian for ‘we both know you’re right, don’t make me admit it.’ The boss can have complicated ways of communicating sometimes if you don’t know how she ticks. Sorta like how she usually expresses concern through anger and frustration.
After a couple seconds, the boss decided to make it official. “Once we get closer to Tornado Day, you can start working everypony who’s already got their numbers high enough through teamwork exercises.”
“Thanks, boss.” I’d gotten her to almost admit that she’d been wrong and I’d been right, I wasn’t gonna push my luck any further.
The boss and I went back to watching the wingpower tests for a while, until we got two pegasi who only managed a score in the eights, followed by a seven point nine. Three low scores in a row put a little dip in everypony’s spirits. The boss nudged me with a wing. “Cloud Kicker, you’re up.”
Technically I was one of the last ponies on the list, but I knew why the boss was shifting things around. She needed a good performance to get morale back up. Sure, seeing a couple ponies do badly wouldn’t cause that much damage, but the boss wasn’t one to take chances. A whole lot was banking on everypony keeping their spirits up.
One flight later, everypony went from worried to cheering after Twilight Sparkle proudly announced “Twelve point one wingpower!” Four years at West Hoof had whipped me into pretty good shape, and pushing clouds kept me on my wings often enough that all that hard-earned muscle stays there. Not to mention that banging is a pretty good form of exercise.
Since I’d posted the second highest wingpower number of anypony so far, the boss couldn’t resist commenting. “Twelve point one?” The boss gave a very unimpressed little nicker. “I’ve seen better numbers from Junior Speedsters.”
Her attemept at getting a rise out of me was less than successful. “Well get some of them in here, we could use the extra wingpower.” I think it’s always vaguely bugged the boss that I don’t rise to her competitive baiting more often. Or at least, not when it came to flying capabilities. There were plenty of areas where I could compete with Rainbow Dash if I wanted to, but there was no denying that she was the better flier.
After my little morale boosting exercise, everypony went back to the testing with gusto. Soon enough it was Blossom’s turn. I wasn’t sure if I should cheer for her or not; I didn’t want to make things weird, but I also wanted to throw a little support her way. In the end, I opted for risking the potential for weird. “Whoo! Go Blossom!”
Judging by the little grin that put on her face, I’d made the right call. Blossom shot by with more speed than I’m used to seeing from her, and Twilight Sparkle blinked in surprise when she saw Blossom’s number. “Nine point seven wingpower? That’s a lot higher than she ever managed when she was helping me calibrate.”
“Guess she just needed a little motivation from me,” the boss declared proudly. A second later, she was frowning. “Still ... not even ten. That’s kinda low for a pony that’s supposed to be one of my assistant managers.”
Sometimes the boss’ jock tendencies could really get on my nerves. “You promoted her because she’s good at running things, not because of her wing muscles.” I wasn’t surprised when Twilight Sparkle glared at the boss and gave a sharp nod in agreement–the local bookworm would back me up on the idea that brains were more important than brawn.
Rainbow gave another grunt and hoof-wave of concession. It can be an interesting experience, having a friend who usually won’t outright admit she was wrong unless you backed her into a corner.
The boss unsurprisingly turned her attention back to the testing list, looking for some way to change the subject away from the fact that she’d been wrong. “Fluttershy, your turn!”
I tried very hard to stop myself from flinching. I knew Fluttershy well enough to know that showing even the slightest hint that I expected her to fail horribly would kill what little self-confidence she had. However, the unfortunate truth was that Fluttershy wasn’t a very good flier. “Boss, do you have a plan here?”
“A plan for what?” the boss asked.
“Fluttershy.” I shot a look at trembling pegasus standing at the starting line. “She’s not gonna put up a good number. How are you gonna handle that?”
“She’ll do fine,” the boss insisted.
“Sure she will,” I agreed. “But just in case she does end up having trouble, what’re you gonna do? We need a plan here.”
The boss’ eyes narrowed and she dug her hooves into the ground. “No, we don’t. She’s gonna do fine.”
I sighed and gave in–there was no arguing with the boss when she got like this. “Whatever you say, boss.”
The two of us watched Fluttershy take to the air and start heading for the anemometer. She wasn’t exactly making good time. I quickly crushed the urge to say any variant of ‘I told you so.’ I would’ve been a lot happier if Rainbow had been right.
Just to make matters worse, when Fluttershy was most of the way to anemometer she choked. I’m not sure what happened, but she suddenly dropped from flying at a slow but passable pace to moving so sluggishly that I was amazed she had enough speed to actually stay airborne. The anemometer barely even turned when she passed it.
The entire training field went dead quiet. Everypony with eyes knew that Fluttershy’s performance was–well I hate to say it, but that was bad even for her. The only way it could’ve gone worse is if her wings had locked up and she couldn’t fly at all.
After a hushed conversation with Twilight Sparkle, the boss turned to Fluttershy and forced a grin onto her face. “Great job, Fluttershy! You measured uh ... um ... point five.”
I couldn’t hide my wince at that. Point five? I’d been expecting something bad, but ... wow.
“Point five?” Twilight Sparkle’s pet dragon grumbled. “Isn’t that like, less than one?”
That comment earned him a hoof to the head, but that came too late to fix anything. Not that his comment really made a difference, if he hadn’t said it somepony else would’ve. It’s kinda hard to get around the fact that Fluttershy’s wingpower test had gone horribly.
Seconds later Fluttershy was running for it, with the boss following close behind. I was more than a little tempted to follow them, but it wouldn’t have done any good. When it came to ponies who might be able to comfort Eepysqueak, I was pretty much at the bottom of the list. I’d just end up making it worse just being there.
I did the only thing I could do–since the boss had gone after Eepysqueak, I was technically running the show. At least keeping this working until the boss got back was better than doing nothing. “Alright everypony, show’s over, back to work. Who’s next on the list, Twilight Sparkle?”
The town librarian seemed to be too busy staring after the boss and Eepysqueak to actually answer my question, so I improvised. “Derpy, you’re up.” Clumsiness aside, Derpy had enough wingpower to put up a good number and get everyponys mind back on the training. That beat sitting around while everypony gossiped about Eepysqueak.
Unfortunately, Derpy wasn’t exactly on-board with that plan. She flew up next to me and put a hoof over my shoulders and whispered. “Cloud Kicker, the training can wait. We should–”
“The boss’ll take care of Fluttershy,” I whispered back. “Right now we’ve got a hundred ponies who need to get pointed back to training ASAP, or else all they’re gonna do is gossip about how horribly Eepysqueak’s wingpower test went. You think she needs that being the talk of the town?”
Derpy blew out a long breath and slowly shook her head. “Yeah, okay.”
After Derpy’s successful wingpower test (well, as long as you don’t count the crash-landing), the rest of the ponies slowly started getting back into the training mindset. By the time the boss returned, things had almost gotten back to normal.
I would’ve asked how it went, but the way the boss’ ears and wings were drooped so far down they were practically dragging on the ground and Fluttershy was nowhere in sight made that question unnecessary. It hadn’t worked out at all. “Boss, I–”
Rainbow’s head snapped up and her lip curled in a snarl. “Yeah yeah, you told me so!” Her wings went from drooping to aggressively flared. “You said she was gonna choke, and she choked! Are ya happy now?”
I instinctively took a step back. “Whoa! I wasn’t–”
The boss didn’t even give me a chance to get started. “If she choked, it was your fault! She was probably all nervous ‘cause you were here!”
“Rainbow!” Derpy rushed in to my defense. “That’s not fair, and you–”
“Stay out of this, Derpy!” Rainbow snapped at her before turning her attention back to me. “So having you around is gonna mess up Fluttershy? Fine. You’re fired. Get outta here!”
My jaw dropped at that. “Boss, I...”
“Didn’t you hear me?” Rainbow snarled. “I said you’re fired! Get lost!”
I hesitated for a second, and then slowly turned my back on her and started flying away. What could I say to that? If she really wanted to fire me, she could. Kinda goes hoof-in-hoof with the whole employer-employee relationship.
I distantly heard Derpy saying something to Rainbow Dash, but I didn’t care to listen in. She was probably yelling at Rainbow Dash. Because that’s what our fragile little circle of old fillyhood friends needs, more arguments.
I flew back to my home, but before I’d barely closed the door before somepony started pounding on it. I considered just ignoring it, I wasn’t really in the mood for company right now. Rainbow would probably hire me back once she calmed down a bit, but the fact that she’d chucked me out of a job just because she was in a bad mood still stung. Friends aren’t supposed to do that kind of thing to each other.
Whoever was knocking kept at it long enough to wear down my resistance. I opened up the door, and found Blossom on the other side. A moment later I was on the receiving end of a comforting hug. “Are you okay, Cloud Kicker?”
“Been better,” I grumbled. Aside from Derpy, it seemed like pretty much every friendship I had was headed straight to Tartarus.
Blossom must have guessed at what was going through my head, because she pulled out of the hug and there was a slightly uncomfortable frown on her face. “I ... I know things aren’t exactly right between us. But–but you’re still my friend, and I want to help you.”
That touched me. Even with all the problems we still hadn’t sorted out, Blossom was willing to be there for me when I needed a friend. “I–thanks Blossom. That means a lot to me.” I thought about it for a moment, and made a decision. “I could use somepony to talk to right now.”
Blossom didn’t even hesitate before answering. “Of course.” She guided me over to one of my couches, and the two of us settled.
I took a deep breath, and prepared myself. “I–I think you need to know the truth about what happened with me and Fluttershy. It’s–it’s the only way to really explain all this. And, well you’re my friend. You deserve the truth.” I took a couple more deep breaths, and mentally prepared myself for the confession.
“Fluttershy was the first pony I ever banged.”
Stats
Page generated in 0.035 seconds
Total duration
1,107 users online
1,778,153 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
YES! Life and Times updated! Perfect hangover cure. Ironic...
And the reveal! Kinda saw it coming, but now something will happen about it instead of because of it. Which means more chapters!
Well, glad to see it's out in the open. I was pretty sure that's what it would end up being, but stilll... the talk next chapter is going to be a 'fun' one
Another great chapter, thoroughly loving the character development going on
Oh, Dash. God knows I love you to pieces, but you can be such a goober sometimes.
OOOOhhhmygosh this is gonna be a rough one. Also rainbow is a bucking moron. As usual
Had a feeling this was coming.
Well, didn't see that coming.
I'm not sold on Dash firing Cloud Kicker. While it makes sense in any sort of realistic sense thanks to the thing with Luna, she's a fillyhood friend of Dash's who also happens to be the element of loyalty. Oh well. It's not far out enough to detract from the story, in my opinion.
The great mystery approaches!
Great as always.
Well fuck me sideways, this is new one, a pseudo-cliffhanger. We get one of the major points in the next chapter, yet in such a brief description, that definitely leaves us (at least me) wanting to read more.
Oddly enough, with my hatred of cliffhangers, this one doesn't invoke rage.
O.
Well I saw that coming. The reason you have rules is to stop bad things from happening, and Cloudkicker has a lot of rules. What bad thing happened to Cloudkicker in the past? Fluttershy.
F-fluttershy was...was.... *head explodes*
Another great chapter, really tense and emotional....and that ending? YEESH!
and finally...
you cliffhangering bastard!
On the one hand... This was a really good chapter. LOTS of obvious character exploration, events moving forward and generally good times.
On the other hand, I posted earlier that I LIKE Cloud Kicker's attitude to sex, and how it has been presented up until now as something healthy. Seeing her taking a turn towards monogamy here is... Worrying. For the moment, I choose to believe it's because Cloud Kicker is unsure of where she stands with Derpy, not because I should be viewing her sleeping around as a bad habit that's being solved now that she has a 'proper' relationship.
Oh man. MOAR NAO PLZ.
Yeah, I can see how a nickname from someone who ripped your heart out won't go over that well.
Also, way to lash out out of guilt, Rainbow. I am disappoint.
Also also:
... What.
oh snap
Wow Rainbow Dash is kind of a terrible boss. Well I think we all saw that coming. Man this group really needs some therapy, too many issues.
Phew. That's an intense chapter.
Ten bits on Cloud Kicker - Derpy - Blossomforth three way.
Oh boy, oh boy!
WHAAA?!
NEED NEW CHAPTER!!!!
This was a great new perspective on that episode. I really like when an author can do that and you do it very well.
I feel like Dash in the Cider Episode, its teasing!
Its excellent but I want the next bit of conversation!
Where's time turner when you need him the most, I need to move forward by two weeks!
Oh and another thing.
Cloud Kicker, you break Derpy's heart and you may as well leave Ponyville. Everypony will hate your guts.
OMFG YES!
Such an AWESOME update! Even though the story took a terrible turn, it was so good. The tension is just... ugh I dunno how to describe it... So suspenseful and enthralling! Blossom is finally warming back up, Derpy is putting her hoof down, and Cloud Kicker is on the verge of a breakdown. I sooooo didn't see this coming.
Keep up the good work!
[youtube=GhMvKv4GX5U]
Great stuff. CK and Blossom hashing things out, Blossom getting some development... and then Dash kinda exploding. Yeesh.
Looking forward to finally getting the damned Eepysqueak story!
Although now that I look at it, Dash feels off here, compared to the show. By this I mean.. in the show, she feels for Flutters, actually understands her. You see how she's fighting her emotions, trying to hold herself back from flying after Fluttershy to help, at one point. In other words, it shows Dash's emotional growth compared to many previous episodes.
Her lashing out like that jars with that quite a lot and feels very misplaced, even if I understand what you're doing :P
Oh damn Dash, so much for loyalty. She is going to feel terrible about this after she calms down.
Yeah, yeah, clearly this is her loyalty to Fluttershy beating out her loyalty to Cloud Kicker, doesn't mean I have to like it.
Saw the revelation at the end coming, but I am pretty sure everyone did.
I kind of figured that they were each others firsts now you just need to tell us what else.
Seeing this update made my day even better YAY for good days :D
Huh, it was pretty obvious that the whole Fluttershy issue involve some kind of sex, but i wasn't sure if it was about any darker aspects like force or anything (i really hoped not). But it seems like it's more a mess of feelings and some other issues, so there is some relief for me.
I KNEWIT!
Called it.
Called it about 2 chapters ago, confirmed it last chapter and was waiting for it all of this one.
Nice cliffhanger you've got going here, too.
Chengar IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME, I want to congratulate you for having the best story on the site. I know that's such a subjective qualification but I cannot for the life of me think of a story that has more universal appeal than this.
This is the best fiction on the best fiction site on the net and it's not even finished.
Do you have pay pal? I want to give you
1247283
[youtube=FFkXe_gnfj4]dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_rainbowkiss_flip.png
I have feels for poor Blossom. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Redheart_gasp.png
Well, all things considered, I'm enjoying this quite a lot. Can't wait to see what happened with Eepsysqueak and how Blossom will react to it. Also hope this'll go down the path of Cloud/Blossom again, but so far it doesn't look like it. I don't wanna see Derpy get left in the rain, but.... Blossom deserves to be with Cloud
Wow, uhm... I have some theories about things but i think I'm kind of wrong about those... We will see though...
And oh god, next chapter = I am exited
1247713
Understanding and developing oneself does not mean that you can't sometimes regress to bad habits. She will probably come around in a few updates or so.
I apparently picked the perfect time to read this story. I just finished the last chapter earlier this morning. Though now I need to wait again ... unless it updates again tonight
I know it's not going to.
1247554
Make that twenty bits.
I think Dash's actions are perfectly loyal, just to Fluttershy not Cloud Kicker. Her making a choice like this is even cannon, like she did with Gilda. Also cannon is Dash making bad decisions, and yes she'll regret it one once she calms down and realizes this is Nothing like the situation with Gilda and she was wrong.
1247473
I want to echo this comment. Cloud Kicker has been, in general, a strong role model for open, ethical sexuality. Abruptly "fixing" her into something more conventional is irritating, especially if the fix isn't even an answer to some conflict, but just somehow a default state that occurs as soon as she starts regularly banging the same pony. It's out of place. Derpy's giving Cloud Kicker prior permission makes it more out of place.
So... I also choose to interpret her reduced libido as primarily a result of uncertainty, and I'd add in that there's been a lot of emotional turmoil in the story lately. I know that my sex drive usually gets droughted when there's social drama flying around.
I...called it? Maybe?
I think we need Flutterkicker...that sounds abusive...Cloudshy? We need Cloudshy fan art now.
And I think Dash was fairly in character. She rarely thinks before speaking when she's upset and in this case it makes sense for her to be upset at Cloudkicker. Both for doubting Flutters and for quite possibly being the reason she choked, however, as Flutters isn't part of the weather team, Cloudkicker interfering with Fluttershy's ability to fly.... well, firing her over that under any circumstances is wrong, but it makes sense. I'm sure Dash will unfire her once she calms down.
Anyway, it's been a fun story so far, and I look forward to hearing about her and Fluttershy, but I think she should also explain to Blossom that she had broken the rules before she'd realized it, and that that's exactly the reason Rule #4 exists, so if she had banged Blossom it's possible the same thing would have happened. Or maybe just explain that her chance was before they became friends? Eh. Whatevr. Idk.
Next chapter please?
Yay, Blossom and Cloudkicker are sorting stuff out.
1247957
For the pilot story in the Cloud Kicker/Blossomforth OTP, it's kinda flown of the rails, hasn't it? Poor Blossom...
I would like to state, that based on my reading of this chapter, the reasons for Cloud Kicker finding herself in an increasingly monogamous relationship with Derpy are complex. Her idea that it is ok to bang multiple ponies is perfectly is fine has not changed. What has changed is the issue that Cloud Kicker is worried about hurting Derpy. Now that she is getting into a closer relationship with Derpy she feels like she is cheating on Derpy when she goes around banging other ponies. When she was going around banging random ponies every night without being in a committed relationship with any of them, she did not see herself as hurting anypony and was just having harmless fun.
But now she is in a transitional period where she doesn’t know what she wants to do. We started to see this when she asked for Derpy’s permission to bang the spa sisters. She is a place where Derpy’s approval with her fidelity feels better then the physical act of sex with other ponies, and is probably outweighing the negatives of not being completely loyal to Derpy. Cloud Kicker probably could continue to have sex with other ponies, and Derpy wouldn’t openly object, but Cloud Kicker would always have that nagging doubt in the back of her mind if this is right. Plus there is the fact she is still getting plenty of banging out of Derpy, so it isn’t as though her physical needs are being completely neglected in any event.
Now that is where the problem with Blossomforth coming into play. Where Derpy might be ok with Cloud Kicker physically banging with other ponies, I doubt she would be ok with Cloud Kicker emotionally cheating on her. And a relationship with Blossom would have that kind of deeper emotional bond which Derpy has shown herself to be against. Derpy wants Cloud Kicker to be fundamentally loyal to her to continue their relationship. Blossom on the other hand isn’t going to let herself be some random bang, and then both of them move on. Blossom loves Cloud Kicker, Cloud Kicker knows this, and she isn’t going to take advantage of Blossom just to get some extra banging in. So Cloud Kicker is stuck between cheating on Derpy (considering she seems to think banging Blossom would be cheating), and or shutting Blossom down romantically. She might be able to convince the two of them to go into a polyamorous relationship, but that would seem to be a long shot at the moment.
The whole issue is really complex and nuanced, and we are in the middle of Cloud Kicker trying to deal with her various issues. We are more likely going to be seeing sooner rather than later Cloud Kicker sitting down with Blossom and Derpy to try and address these issues. Right now Cloud Kicker isn’t sure where the boundaries, and what will make everypony happy, and if she can even get to a point of making everypony happy. The core issue here isn’t about if having sex with multiple partners is right or wrong. Everypony has been shown to have different ideas about sex and relationships, and none of them have been portrayed as right or wrong. This is about loyalty and respect for those you love and care about, and how Cloud Kicker is going to balance her two best friends/lovers and their needs and wants.
As for Dash, she frankly made a mistake she is most likely going to very quickly regret. Loyalty is a fickle thing, especially when you have loyalties pulling you different ways like we saw here. Cloud Kicker attempted to point that there might be a problem, and Dash shot her down, saying Fluttershy would be fine. When things went horribly Dash pride got hurt, her loyalty to Fluttershy went off, and she snapped at Cloud Kicker badly. Turning a professional issue into a nastily personal one.
Dash has a nasty tendency to act and say abrasive things. It is one of her core personality flaws. Also Dash sucks at senseitivity. It was notable when Dash didn’t snap at Fluttershy when she tried to get out of Tornado Duty, and tried to keep her feelings in mind. Her flaw caught her bad here when she saw Fluttershy emotionally break down, and so she looked for somewhere to vent. Cloud Kicker just became the target of that aggression.
Firing Cloud Kicker is likely going to something Dash is going to regret, and try and rectify. The question is how soon, and how Cloud Kicker will react considering her feelings were likely hurt by the whole episode.
Yay update :D this made my day, now update again so I can finally know the eepysqueak story!
1248609 I know, right. I came up in this bizznitch expecting some CC/Blossom and BAM! Shit hit the fan.
1248757
Holy walls of text, batmare! I do enjoy reading your insights, you're able to explain what i can really only pick at.
1248770
Brace yourselves...backstory is coming.
cupofzup.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/mother-of-god.gif
I think I see how this'll go. Cloud Kicker wanted something long-term, but Fluttershy was just in it for the sex.
I think I see where this is going... And just what happened. Hope to see more Cloud Kicker and Derpy together soon!
We need chill pills her stat!...where are my chill pills?!
img24.imageshack.us/img24/5500/left4deadlouisandpillsb.png
Damit louis!
Hmm, that wasn't just a mental slip of the tongue. Cloud might just be breaking the biggest and unwritten rule: Don't fall in love.
Or I could be imagining that rule.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/eenope.png
this is my most anticipated ficupdate every time
i love Derpy