The Pony Who Has Magic in Her Wingtips
I woke up feeling pretty good. Post-bang afterglow and all that.
Blossom was still cuddled up against my chest, drooling ever so slightly on me. I couldn’t really complain about that, though—considering what we’d gotten up to last night, a bit of drool wasn’t a big deal. I kissed her on the forehead and tightened my forelegs around her, savoring the moment. It felt good, to just have a beautiful mare cuddled up against me, resting in my forelegs, with the faint lingering odor of banging still hanging in the air to remind me of just how much fun we’d had last night.
It was a perfect moment. I felt kind of sad that Blossom wasn’t awake to share it with me, but at the same time, her being awake might have spoiled things. There’d be awkward morning-after talk instead of her just silently cuddling up against me and being adorable.
I couldn’t hold onto that moment for very long. Blossom might still be asleep, but before long I was awake enough to remember ... well, everything else that existed outside of my bed. All the stuff I’d been trying to get away from by banging Blossom.
Remembering what happened to Mom sent a fresh stab of pain through my gut. It still hurt. I don’t think it was ever gonna stop hurting, really, but it wasn’t so bad compared to the way it felt yesterday. There was still this big hollow ache in my heart, but ... I don’t know. It’s hard to put into words, but I guess I kinda felt like I could handle it now. The pain wasn’t gonna go away overnight just because I’d had a good bang, but I did feel a bit more together than I’d been yesterday. I was hurting, but I felt like I was gonna be able to pick up the pieces and keep going.
That’s what Mom would want, right? Or at least, that’s what ponies always say in this kind of situation. That she would want me to move on with my life and find a way to be happy. Ugh, that sounds like a bad cliche, but I suppose it is true. Love is all about wanting to make the ponies you care about happy.
Love. I looked down at Blossom and kissed her on the head again, drawing a sleepy little mumble out of her as she tightened her forelegs around my chest. I did love her. Then again, love has never really been the problem for me. I loved lots of ponies, even ones like Rainbow that I had never banged. It was the whole long-term relationship and commitment thing that tripped me up. That, and not always thinking things through.
I really shouldn’t have banged Blossom last night. I had kind of used her to get away from my own pain. If our positions had been reversed, I probably would’ve tried to gently let her down on account of Rule Three. I hadn’t been in the right frame of mind for a bang, especially not something as big as Blossom’s first time. Losing her virginity should’ve been something special, and instead I’d turned it into nothing more than a mood-booster for me. That wasn’t right.
It was a bit too late to take it back now, though. It’s not like I regretted banging her, I just had bad timing. I could make that up to her—take her out on a nice fancy date, treat her like a princess, and just generally make it clear that she meant a whole lot to me. Then I could show her the difference between banging and making love.
I slowly slid out of bed, taking care not to wake Blossom up. It can be a little tricky to slip away from a pony who’s all snuggled up against you, but I’ve had plenty of practice at it. I’m not sure what I planned to do after that. Probably check on Dad.
My stomach let me know that it had other priorities. Come to think of it, I don’t remember eating anything since my breakfast before the whole thing with the Changeling. I’d kind of had other things on my mind. Still, need to keep the body fed and running. One of the many lessons they pounded into my head at West Hoof was that a pony needs to stay fed and hydrated as much as possible. Sure, ponies won’t starve to death if they miss a meal or two, but a bunch of grumpy, short-tempered soldiers who are thinking more about their next meal than their mission aren’t very effective.
When I got to the kitchen, the icebox was already open and I saw Dash’s rather distinctive tail poking out from behind the door. Guess it figured she’d be hungry too, since she’d been right there with me for everything that had happened yesterday. Dear Celestia, did all that really only happen a day ago? It felt so much longer than that. How could so much stuff have happened in a single day?
I cleared my throat to get Dash’s attention. “Hey, can you grab something for me too?”
I guess I must’ve caught her off guard, because when she heard my voice she jumped and ended up smacking her head against the top of the icebox’s door. I gave a sympathetic little wince, but didn’t say anything about it. Rainbow being Rainbow, she’d get all proud and defensive about it if I called attention to the whole thing, so it was probably best to just salve her ego by pretending it never happened.
Rainbow rubbed a hoof on the side of her head for a couple seconds, then pulled out a bowl full of carrots, celery, and corn, and set it down on the kitchen counter. “Hey, Kicker. Didn’t hear you come in. Hope you like vegetables, ‘cause that’s what was in the icebox. You want something cooked, you’ll hafta make it yourself.”
Raw veggies wasn’t the fanciest of breakfasts, but food is food. I wasn’t in the mood to go to all the trouble of cooking. In Dash’s case, I could guess that she was either too lazy and/or hungry to cook, or she didn’t want to admit that she’s not so hot when it comes to groundside cooking. She’s a decent enough chef when she’s doing pegasus-style cuisine, but there’s a big difference between using a thundercloud and using a stove.
For a while the two of us just munched on the veggies until the grumbling in our stomachs died down. Once she was in a position to use her mouth for talking rather than for shoving food into, Dash looked over at me and for once her brash, scratchy voice sounded almost gentle. “So, um, how you holding up, Cloud?”
Some ungrateful part of my mind wanted to rant about the stupidity of a question like that. How did she think I was holding up? My mom was dead! I reined that nasty impulse in—Dash was just trying to help and be supportive, in her own way. Hay, I wasn’t even really mad at her, just pissed off about what had happened to my mom, and Rainbow seemed like a good target to vent on. I wouldn’t do that to her, though. Not after she’d stuck with me through this whole mess. “Hurting,” I answered her question as calmly as I could. “I’m a little better than I was last night, but...”
“S’kinda like when I was in the hospital after my eye went wonky on me again,” Rainbow cut in. “By the second or third day in I was doing a lot better, but I still felt like horseapples.”
“Yeah, not a bad way of putting it, I guess.” I pushed the rest of the food away—I’d had enough, and I wasn’t really in an eating mood anymore.
I was a little surprised when Rainbow pulled me into a hug. She’s normally not very big on getting all sensitive and touchy-feely like that, but I guess even she could tell that I really needed a hug right now. I leaned into the hug, just basking in what comfort her lean, muscular body could offer. Some distant part of my mind said I should kiss her. Not one of those restrained, friendly little pecks, but a full-bore one. Just go all out on her, take every bit of comfort she could offer me and hope that maybe that would be enough to make me stop feeling like ... this.
No. Dammit, I needed to stop thinking that way. Trying to escape from what happened to my mom by jumping into hedonism wasn’t a solution. Well, okay, it wasn’t hedonism as such, but still...
I looked up at Rainbow Dash, wondering if maybe she could tell what had been going through my head just then. Thank Celestia, Luna, and Shadow, it didn’t look like she knew. That would’ve been awkward. She seemed to be fine with just holding me, and being the amazing and supportive friend that I really, really needed right now. “Rainbow... thanks. I mean it. Just—thank you. For everything.” I tightened my hug around her.
I’m pretty sure I caught a hint of a blush on Rainbow’s face before she answered with uncharacteristic modestly. “S’not a big deal, Cloud Kicker. You’d do the same for me.” That was the funny thing about Rainbow Dash—she would brag until you were sick of hearing about it when she did little stuff, but she never felt the need to rub it in when she was there for the big stuff.
“I mean it, Rainbow.” Partially because I wanted to make sure I had things under control, and partially just for all the usual reasons, I kissed her. Thankfully, my brain was in the right place, so I kept it chaste and friendly. “You’ve been a great friend.”
No doubt about it now, she was blushing. “Oh, stop it.” Her embarrassment didn’t last too long though; a second later, she got her hooves back under herself and her normal brash confidence was back in place. “Or, y’know, you could keep going on about how awesome, cool, and radical I am. You can cover those in any order you want.”
I left out a soft little laugh at her blatant egotism. Celestia, I’d needed that. “Never change, Rainbow.”
“Why should I?” She grinned at me. “Can’t improve on perfection.”
The two of us trotted over to the couch in the living room Rainbow had just spent the night on, but instead of sitting on the couch like two ponies normally would I leaned back against her chest, letting her wrap those trim, athletic forelegs of hers around me. It felt safe, I guess. Like I could count on her to be a strong protector for me. I rested my head against her neck and shoulders, and then she put her wings around me, which made me feel even more secure than I’d been before.
For a while the two of us just sat there silently, with her being my big feathery security blanket. Unfortunately, that moment couldn’t last forever. I felt the rumble in her chest when Rainbow cleared her throat, and I saw her eyes lingering on the other couch, where Blossom had been sleeping when I got in last night. That spot was rather conspicuously empty now. “So...” Rainbow Dash began, shifting her eyes back down to me. “You and Blossom. You uh, you did the business?”
“Yeah.” I suppose I could’ve tried to lie about it, but aside from how wrong that would be, I don’t think there was any way I could fool her. “What gave it away?”
Rainbow let out a little snort. “Blossom’s not there, and you smell like a brothel. I can do the math on that easy enough.” She took one of her hooves off me and waved it front of her nose. “Seriously, Kicker, you reek. You better grab a shower, ‘cause if I gotta put up with how much you stink all day...”
“And yet, you’ve been hugging me for a while now.” I wanted to thank her for starting off with a joke—I don’t know what would’ve happened if we’d jumped right into the big serious talk about me sleeping with Blossom. Joking about it made it easier to deal with, at least. I wonder if she picked that trick up from Pinkie Pie? In any case, I played along, and gave her a teasing little nudge. “How do you know what a brothel smells like, anyway? You been up to something naughty?”
“You wish.” Dash rolled her eyes and nudged me right back. “You took me to one, remember?”
“Oh yeah...” I grinned and fondly shook my head at the memory. I’d kind of done it on a whim during one of her trips to Canterlot while I was still at West Hoof. Mostly as a joke, though maybe I had been a bit curious to see what Dash would go for. “Still can't believe you passed on that. I mean, that place was like an all-you-can-eat buffet, except instead of food it was banging.” Maybe I should’ve tried more of a specialty place—like one where the employees were all dressed up in Wonderbolt costumes or something.
“You would’ve had more luck taking me to a real all-you-can-eat restaurant,” Rainbow grumbled. “Instead of things getting all weird and awkward, we could’ve skipped breakfast and lunch, then showed up for dinner and eaten so much they lost money on us. It would’ve been awesome.” She let out a quiet little scoff. “But nooo, you had to go for something banging-related instead. On top of that, well, they were all way more interested in you anyway. Kinda like they all knew you by name or something.” She paused, and her grin took on a distinctly teasing tone. “Come to think of it, they did. I’m pretty sure you had one of those repeat customer discount cards when you went in.”
I gave her my best confident and completely unflappable grin. “Well, I had to make sure the place was good enough for my best friend.” The truth was perhaps a bit less flattering—it was actually a clan-owned establishment. Most of the clan’s business interests catered to the military in some way, and one of the things soldiers need is a place to blow off steam after a hard campaign. Obviously, the staff were hired from outside the clan.
Back when I was young, I hadn’t quite mastered the art of swag, or the equally important art of sorting out who was worth banging and who to pass on. There was something to be said for the simplicity of a guaranteed good bang from a good pony, even if it cost me some bits. Besides, I’d learned a lot of useful things that way.
Not exactly something I could really talk over with Rainbow Dash, though. Especially since I’d made a point of taking her to that brothel on a night Posey had off. Dash did not need to meet that sweet little earth pony with a mane and coat color pretty darn close to Fluttershy’s. I guess that’s one way to deal with a nasty breakup.
Rainbow rolled her eyes and broke out one of the nastiest weapons in her arsenal: sarcasm. “Yeah, I’m sure you were going to the brothel just for my sake, and no other reason.” She went from sarcastic to just the slightest bit pouty as she added, “Probably would've helped if they'd tried to jump my bones instead of yours. Or, y'know, if I actually went for all that banging stuff.”
“Well, not my fault I was so good that by the time I was done they wanted to pay me.” Okay, maybe that was a slight exaggeration, but why should Rainbow be the only pony who gets to have fun with rampant egotism? “Seriously though, you had your pick. Any mare or stallion in a room full of beautiful ponies, and you turned them all down.”
“Eh.” Rainbow gave an unimpressed shrug. “They were nice enough, but...”
“But nopony caught your interest.” I finished for her. “Why do you think I figured you were just about asexual until you hooked up with Pinkie?”
“It’s like I always tell you when you wanna start talking about banging,” Rainbow began, proudly puffing out her chest. “It’s not that I’ve got no interest in it, it’s just that until Pinkie I hadn’t met anypony who could handle the sheer awesomeness of Rainbow Dash.”
“You’ve never said that before,” I immediately pointed out.
“Well if I haven’t said it before, I should’ve,” she answered with an airy wave of her hoof. “That’s basically the same thing, so it still counts.” Rainbow gave a self-satisfied nod after delivering that little pearl of wisdom.
“Yeah, whatever.” I gave her a friendly poke in the shoulder, and settled back into place.
Rainbow went back to holding me, but couldn’t go for long without having to spoil the moment. “Seriously though, Cloud Kicker, you need to at least take a shower or something. Hay, I’m gonna hafta take one too just from being so close to you.” She promptly put a hoof over my mouth. “And no, before you ask, we’re not taking that shower together. I know you wouldn’t try anything, but don’t tell me you wouldn’t be looking at me and thinking ... things.”
“Guilty as charged.” What can I say, the idea of Rainbow in the shower, her wet mane plastered against her head while water dripped down her flanks... Sure, she might be off-limits as far as banging was concerned for a whole lot of good reasons, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t even look and appreciate.
The two of us went quiet for a few seconds, before Rainbow finally worked up the courage to talk about the really big and awkward topic we’d kind of been avoiding. If it had all been up to me, I probably would’ve kept dodging the topic for as long as possible. “So. You slept with Blossomforth.”
“Yeah.” I felt a little shiver of guilt go down my spine.
Rainbow let out an annoyed little groan. “I wish I could say I was surprised, but the worst part is that I’m really not.”
“Just disappointed,” I finished for her, before sighing and facehoofing at my own stupidity. “Dammit. I guess I’m kind of predictable that way—things get bad for me, and I go looking for a bang to help me feel better.” I gave a guilty little shuffle, uncomfortably aware of just how close I was to Rainbow Dash. “If it was you that woke up last night instead of Blossom, I probably would’ve ended up trying to seduce you instead. Hay, the idea’s still tempting me more than it should. I just ... I just want it to stop hurting, and now I’m at the point where just about any warm body will do.”
“Nah, that isn’t it.” Rainbow tightened her grip around me. “If you’d just wanted to bang anything with a pulse, you would’ve gone out looking for ponies or hit the whorsehouses. Instead you came back here, to ponies that ... y’know, you care about. That’s a pretty important difference, right?” I slowly nodded in agreement. Hey, just look at how good this bit of platonic cuddling with Rainbow was making me feel. “I figure you wanted love and reassurance and stuff, not just a quick bang with the first willing pony you could find.”
“That’s ... that does make me feel a bit better. Thanks.” I gave her a quick peck on the cheek. “When did you get so smart about relationships anyway?”
“I’ve always been this smart.” Rainbow assured me with her usual level of modesty. “I just like to save all that brainpower up. For stuff that’s important, y’know?”
“Yeah. Sure thing, Dash.” I reluctantly removed myself from her comforting hooves and sat up. “Still, now that I’ve gone and banged Blossom...”
“No point crying over spilt cider,” Rainbow concluded with a sage nod. I was rather tempted to point out that Rainbow had literally done that in the past. “I’m not gonna chew you out over it, partly ‘cause you already know you feathered that up, and partly ‘cause—look, I can’t say I know how you feel, but I know you were kinda a mess all day yesterday. Really, I should’ve stayed up all night waiting for you to get back.” She rubbed a hoof along the back of her mane, and there was a slight nervous crack in her voice as she added. “I mean, I probably could’ve handled you trying to hit on me a lot better than Blossom did, just ‘cause I don’t wanna bang you in the first place.”
I gave a quick shake of my head. “No, Rainbow, don’t try to take responsibility for this. It was still my decision, so it’s my responsibility to make it right.” I held up a hoof to forestall any objections. “That doesn’t mean you can’t help me, it just means that I won’t let you take the fall for me. At the end of the day, this is my problem.”
“S’not like it’s all your fault.” Rainbow grumbled under her breath. “Blossomforth had to know you weren’t in good shape, but she banged you anyway.”
That got my temper flaring, just a bit. “She did not take advantage of me!” I paused, and made myself take a couple deep breaths before I could get too worked up. “It was mutual, okay? Hay, I started things—I kissed her first.”
Rainbow shifted a bit, and couldn’t quite meet my eyes as she murmured, “Just ‘cause a pony who isn’t thinking straight kisses you and says she wants to bang doesn’t mean it’s all okay. Don’t you have a rule about that sort of thing?”
I couldn’t really dispute that, so instead I reluctantly conceded the point and started working on damage control. I didn’t want Rainbow jumping to conclusions. “Yeah, if I’d been in Blossom’s horseshoes, I would’ve said no because of my rules. But those are my rules, not ones everypony else has to follow. Besides, it’s not like Blossom swooped in with some nefarious scheme to take advantage of me in my moment of weakness. Hay, at first she tried to tell me it might not be a good idea, but...” I trailed off uncertainly, and settled for a weary sigh instead of finishing the sentence.
Thankfully, I’d gotten enough of it out for Rainbow to complete the thought for me. “It’s just that when a pony she’s been pining after for a long time started going all out on her, she didn’t say ‘no.’”
“Yeah, that’s pretty much the size of it.” I felt my ears droop and my shoulders slump as the full implications hit home. “I mean, Blossom doesn’t really have much relationship experience. Hay, until last night she was a virgin. She wasn’t prepared to handle a situation like this, didn’t have the experience to know what was and wasn’t a good idea.” I sighed and took a moment to gather my thoughts before continuing. “I guess what I’m saying is we both made a mistake last night. Me ‘cause I wasn’t thinking straight, and her ‘cause she didn’t know any better.”
“So banging Blossom was a mistake?” Dash prompted me.
“Banging her last night was.” I put just a bit of emphasis on the timeframe. “I don’t think I could regret banging a pony I love, but I can sure as hay regret doing it at a time when we weren’t in the right place mentally. Hay, I took her virginity on a comfort-bang. And that’s not to mention how Derpy’s gonna take the news...”
“So you’re gonna tell her?” Rainbow was looking at me with a bit of a frown. I’m pretty sure she thought that was the right thing to do, but for once what was going on in her head wasn’t clear just from looking at her face. She’s normally the sort to wear her heart on her fetlock.
“Derpy deserves the truth.” Besides, if you wanted to look at things pragmatically, telling her now was a lot better for everypony than trying to cover it up. Lying to her would just make things worse, and I’m pretty sure I couldn’t get everypony to go along with it in any case. Asking Dash to lie to Derpy for me would put her in one hay of an awkward position, especially for a pony who’s so loyal she can go and weaponize that loyalty for the purposes of blasting evil and/or insane beings of god-like power. I wasn’t gonna put her in a position where she had to choose between her friends.
So yeah, I was going to confess. “Just one thing, though. Can I wait until after the funeral to tell her?” I scraped one of my hooves along the carpet. “It’s just that I don’t wanna dump all this on her right in the middle of everything else. Not sure I could really handle breaking the news to her all that well right now, and it’s just all so much to deal with.”
Rainbow thought it over for a bit, then nodded. “Yeah, probably a good idea. Just as long as it doesn’t become one of those things where there’s always another excuse to put it off for a couple more days. I know a lot about procrastination.”
“It won’t,” I promised her. I knew she would hold me to that promise too. I was committed now—Derpy was going to get the truth.
Once everypony was up and moving around, we headed for Canterlot Station to meet Derpy and everypony else coming from Ponyville. I only knew Derpy and Alula were coming for sure, but I’d be pretty surprised if Eepy wasn’t coming along as well. Sure, we might have given up on trying to turn back the clock, but that didn’t mean she could just stay in Ponyville while I was hurting. There were a couple other ponies I wouldn’t mind seeing either—honestly, right now I would take all the love and support I could get.
Canterlot Station was just as busy and bustling as it would be on any day. Between being in the capital of Equestria and being a major railroad hub, Canterlot Station pretty much always had a bunch of ponies going going about their daily business. It still seemed weird to me, how all these ponies could just keep going along with their normal routines and daily lives as if nothing had changed. Then again, nothing had changed for them.
Things were awkward and painfully silent as we all waited for the train. In hindsight, I probably should’ve gone back to bed and had a talk with Blossom when she woke up, but by the time I finished with my shower to get rid of the post-banging funk everypony else was waking up. Between that and the fact that we were waiting for Derpy to get here, things were way too weird between us right now. Yet another reason sleeping with her last night had been a bad idea: I wasn’t really in a good place to handle all the post-banging awkwardness with everything else going on in my life.
So, I couldn’t really talk to Rainbow or Blossom until I was in a better place, mentally speaking. Dad came to the station too, probably to pick up ‘Lula, but what could we say to each other? I went over and put a wing across his back anyway. It might not have been much, but at least it was something.
Thankfully the train from Ponyville actually came in a minute early, so we didn’t have a long wait. Pretty much the instant the train came to full stop, Alula bolted out of the doors and ran up to Dad and me, jumping up and latching her forelegs around our necks. Dad quickly brought up a foreleg to support her. “Easy there, little soldier.” Dad’s voice was still a lot more subdued than his usual tone, but he sounded a lot more like his old self than he did yesterday.
‘Lula tightened her grip around Dad and let out a muffled sniffle. “M’sorry, Daddy,” she whimpered, “I know I’m s’posedta be strong an’ brave an’ not cry or anythin’, but...” The rest of her words were swallowed by a series of muffled, poorly-suppressed sobs.
“It’s okay, ‘Lu.” Dad rubbed a hoof up and down her back, being the strong, solid and fatherly rock she needed right now. It felt good to see him like that again, after how shaken up he’d been yesterday. “It’s okay to cry right now. I miss her too.”
After that bit of reassurance that she didn’t have to be some sort of emotionally dead exemplar of stoicism, ‘Lula finally broke down and let it all out. Dad settled down on his haunches so he could pull her up tight against his chest, wrapping his wings around her. Now that she had a bit of privacy, Alula let the tears flow freely. After a couple seconds, Dad looked over at me and opened up a small gap in his wings for me to join in on the comforting.
I did what I could to help ‘Lula, but with Dad hugging her like that there wasn’t much left for me to do except stroke her mane a bit and offer the usual reassuring words that not even I really believed. I felt so inadequate, like there should be something more I could do to help my little sister when she really needed me. She was sobbing her eyes out, and all I could do was rub her mane and spout a bunch of platitudes about how everything was gonna be okay.
I spotted Derpy and her girls stepping off the train out of the corner of my eye. Dinky was whining and trying to squirm her way out of Derpy’s hooves. I could take a guess at what was going through the little filly’s head—she saw ‘Lula crying and wanted to give my sister one of her patented get-better hugs. Despite the innocence of her intentions, Derpy and Sparkler obviously didn’t want her interrupting a private family moment.
Once ‘Lula settled down a bit and Dad stopped covering her with his wings I gave a nod to Derpy, and she let her daughter loose. Dinky crossed the train station so fast I could’ve sworn she teleported, and latched onto ‘Lula and Dad both. Derpy and Sparkler followed behind her at a slightly more sedate pace. I was a little surprised when Sparkler actually beat her mom to hugging me, not that I was going to complain too much about getting hugged. Derpy joined in on the hug a second later and followed it up with a gentle little kiss on the cheek. Not much by our usual standards, but it’s not like I was really in the mood to start making out with her then and there. Especially not with her daughter hugging me too.
“Oh, Cloud.” Derpy gently nuzzled my cheek. “I’m so sorry.”
“How’re ya holding up? Sparkler chimed in. “Anything we can do to help? Well, aside from the usual being here for you.”
Dammit, all this love and support was just making me feel worse than ever, thanks to the whole thing with Blossom. A part of me wanted to just spill the beans right then and there to get it all over with, but I knew that would be a bad idea. That was the kind of news you need to break delicately once you’re in the right frame of mind, not just blurt out in the middle of a crowded train station.
The three of us spent a bit of time talking, but there wasn’t really much we could say. Even if the Princess hadn’t asked me to keep quiet about what had happened, it’s not like I would’ve wanted to give Derpy a play-by-play of what happened with Mom. I just wanted ... feathers, I don’t even know what I wanted.
Well, aside from Mom back.
After a while Dinky came over and wrapped herself around one of my forelegs. Looks like I was on the receiving end of one of her get-better hugs now. I leaned down to give her a nuzzle, but unfortunately this was one of those problems that not even a get-better hug could fix. It still helped, though.
After Dinky had spent a while latched onto me, Derpy gently tried to pull her away. I could see Lyra talking with Dad and Eepy nervously standing off to the side, so I guess Derpy was worried about monopolizing me. Dinky wasn’t about to let go—if anything, her hold on my leg just got tighter. Geeze, she had an iron grip. That’s a pretty normal filly thing, though; ‘Lula could be like that sometimes too. Hay, back when I was all little and huggy ... with Mom. Celestia, I was even younger than Dinky, last time that happened.
Dammit, I couldn’t even get a hug from Dinky without my mind going back to Mom.
After a couple more gentle tugs, Derpy let out a slightly annoyed grumble and just left Dinky latched onto my leg, then gave me one last nuzzle before she made room for Lyra.
A second later there were now two ponies hugging me. “It’ll be okay, sweetie,” Lyra whispered. “I promise, everything’s gonna be okay. We’re all here for you.”
“I’m here too,” Dinky chimed in, giving my leg another squeeze. “‘Cause I love you.”
“Thanks.” That word sounded so inadequate when it came to trying to convey just how much I appreciated having them there, but it was all I could come up with. “Just ... thanks.” I really hadn’t spent enough time with Lyra lately. With all the crazy stuff going on in my life there just hadn’t been much time for her, and that was a real shame. “Hey, is Bon Bon here with you?”
“Nah, she’s busy with work stuff in Ponyville, and she couldn’t get away.” Lyra shifted her hold on me a bit and sounded just a little uncomfortable as she added, “Plus—well, she never really met your mom or anything, so she was a little worried that she’d just end up getting in the way if she came.”
From the worried little frown on her face and the way she was shuffling her hooves, it was obvious something was bugging Lyra. “You okay?”
“I’m fine.” She very obviously wasn’t. “We just ... had a bit of a discussion about her not being able to come.” From her subdued tone, I had a feeling this was one of those discussion that involved a lot of yelling and tears. Dammit, I didn’t want to be the cause of Lyra and Bon Bon getting into a fight.
“Hey, it’ll be fine.” I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek for reassurance. Dinky, taking note of which pony needed comforting, promptly let go of my foreleg and attached herself to Lyra instead.
“Yeah, thanks. And thank you too, Dinky.” A second later Lyra let out a frustrated little groan and facehoofed with the foreleg Dinky wasn’t latched onto. “Dammit, I was supposed to be comforting you, not the other way around. Sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it, Harpflank.” I pulled her in for a bit more of a hug, then reluctantly let go so I could move on to Eepy. Unsurprisingly, Fluttershy was patiently standing off the side, trying not to do anything to disrupt our moment, but I could still kind of pick up a sense of impatience that was very unusual for her: a bit of tension in her legs, the way her wings were just very slightly open, stuff like that. While Eepy would never go and say something like that outright, her body language made it clear that she wanted Lyra to leave so she could have some time with me.
As soon as Lyra let go of me and started walking away, Dinky still firmly attached to one of her forelegs, Fluttershy flew up to me. She was so eager to get into hugging range that she actually came darn close to shoving the unicorns out of the way in her haste. A second later she was half-sitting on her haunches, using her wings to help stay balanced, and pulling me into a gentle but very insistent hug, bringing my head to rest against her chest. The gesture just felt so ... maternal.
Aw horseapples, I was gonna start crying again. As the tears started, Eepy pulled me in closer, and brought up her wings to give me a little privacy.
Once I’d cried myself out Fluttershy relaxed her death grip hug on me, giving me one of those soft little nurturing smiles of hers. Now that I could see something beyond Eepy’s chest and my own tears, I noticed Rarity talking to Dad and ‘Lula. Wonder what she was doing here? I mean, she was nice and all, but it’s not like I was especially close to her. A quick scan of the train station showed that none of Rainbow’s other friends were here, just Rarity. Well, I could ask her about that later.
When he noticed I was looking over at them, Dad caught my eye and gave a subtle little twitch of his head. I knew him well enough to interpret the gesture—he wanted to head back to the clanhold. I couldn’t really blame him for that. We didn’t need to be standing out in the middle of a crowded train station, wailing and carrying on for hours. So, home it was.
The next couple days ... happened. I’m not quite sure what to say about them, really. I mostly spent the time being depressed while everypony else tried to comfort me. It doesn’t exactly make for the most compelling story. It was pretty much just a constant cycle of me feeling down and somepony hugging me and telling me everything was gonna be alright, my friends and lovers were here for me, and so on. Even with all that support, it takes a while to really recover from losing your mom, especially considering exactly what had happened with Mom in my case. Finding her in that cave, killing that thing that was wearing her face....
Since everypony was planning to stay in town until the funeral was finished, we needed to make arrangements for them. Thankfully, between having a large clanhold and being a military family, there were always some unoccupied quarters to use for accommodating guests. Derpy and Lyra both had family in Canterlot, so we really only needed to put up Rainbow, Blossom, Fluttershy, and Rarity. I’m pretty sure part of why Rainbow offered to be roommates with Blossom was to make sure I wouldn’t bang her again. Probably a smart precaution.
That left Rarity and Eepy rooming together in the other house. Since Rarity had mostly come along to give Fluttershy emotional support, that worked just fine. The only problem was while Eepy is undeniably sensitive, she doesn’t need constant hoof-holding even in a situation like this. Rarity did have some work for her business to keep herself occupied when Fluttershy didn’t need her. However, whenever Rarity wasn’t out making contacts, buying materials, and all the usual fashionista stuff, she decided it would be a good idea to help out with the funeral arrangements.
Since Mom was having a Cult of Shadow funeral, that didn’t turn out so well. Thing is, the Shadovars are big on austerity and stoicism, while Rarity ... isn’t.
Having to deal with uncle Typhoon Season grumbling about how Rarity was disrespecting all the sacred rites while Rarity grumbled about how she’d just wanted to make the funeral a little nicer was not my idea of a good time. Naturally the two of them came to me to sort the whole mess out, seeing as Rarity was my guest and all. Thankfully, once I made them sit down and actually talk things out like grown-ups, they managed to work out a reasonable compromise where Rarity could help so long as she exercised a reasonable degree of restraint. In other words, no covering everything with bright sparkly gemstones.
Aside from that little crisis, things pretty much just went along until the day of the funeral itself. Well, technically I should say the night of the funeral. I spent most of the actual day of the funeral napping and taking things easy—kind of a necessity when the funeral itself was starting about two hours before dawn and carrying on well into the morning.
So, I wasn’t surprised when somepony came into my bedroom and gently nudged me awake in the middle of the night. I was a little surprised by who it was, though. “Hey, Storm. Thought you and Star were gonna be tied up with the whole investigation thing?” Storm was supposed to have gotten back a couple days earlier, but the Guard being what it is, scheduled leave time is never one hundred percent reliable.
“Yeah, it’s been pretty nuts. The investigation’s been keeping us really busy, but Princess Luna wasn’t going to let us miss the funeral.” Star ran a hoof through her dark grey mane; even with the lights mostly out, the white streak in it still really stood out. “Sorry, I could’ve gotten back a little sooner on my own. They didn’t really need another pony from the Long Patrol there, but I didn’t wanna leave Star behind. She’s my little sis.”
Star spoke up from the doorway. “I’m only a year younger than you. I think I could’ve survived on my own for a couple days.”
Storm brushed a hoof over her light blue chest. “Doesn’t matter, you’re still my little sis. With everything going on I wanted to ... y’know, keep an eye on you and stuff.” Oh. Considering everything that had been going on, I couldn’t blame her for wanting to keep a closer eye on her little sister for a while. Storm shot a slightly shaky grin at Star. “I mean, you’ve got a non-combat talent, so it’s kinda my job to look out for you and blast anything that looks at you funny with one of my lightning clouds.”
“Yeah, sure. I’m just so weak and helpless.” Star rolled her eyes, then turned back to me. “Anyway ... Dad sent us to let you know that the funeral’s gonna be starting in about an hour or so. Anything you need to, um, help get ready? We’ve got some food waiting downstairs, if you’re hungry.”
“Cool. Think I’m gonna grab a quick shower first, though.” It’s not like I was especially dirty or anything, but I wanted to be fresh and clean for the funeral. Mom deserved that much.
I was about halfway to my bathroom when Storm spoke up. “Oh, hey, Dad said the Princesses were gonna be showing up, just so you know.” That wasn’t a huge surprise—Princess Celestia usually made a point about trying to attend the funeral for anypony who died in her service. Well, just another reason to make sure I cleaned up beforehoof, I suppose. Even if things had been a bit rocky last time we ran into the Princesses, they were still the Princesses.
One shower later, I was feeling as close to ready as I was going to get for something like Mom’s funeral. I trotted into the living room to find just about everypony sitting around nibbling on the snacks and talking in quiet, subdued tones. Most of the conversation stopped for half a second when I walked in, and I was on the receiving end of more sympathetic looks and quick hugs than I could count before I got over to Dad. ‘Lula was riding on his back, and he was in the middle of talking to Aunt Wind and Uncle Typhoon.
There was no sign of the Princesses yet, but I suppose they couldn’t really participate in the pre-funeral mingling without making things a bit awkward. The Princesses do tend to be the center of attention wherever they go.
“Hey.” I took a moment to swap quick nuzzles with Dad, ‘Lula, and Aunt Wind. I thought about giving Uncle Typhoon one too, but we’d never been all that close. Probably because he ran the Cult of Shadow, and I could charitably be described as a lapsed member. I had plenty of respect for Shadow, but I’ve never been a huge fan of the cult’s whole dogma of stoicism and austerity, or the way they put her up on a pedestal. In my defence, Shadow’s memoirs made it pretty clear that she wasn’t all that wild about the Cult either.
Technically ‘Uncle’ Typhoon wasn’t really an uncle, since he and Aunt Wind weren’t married. Still, they’d had two kids together and he did all the usual dad stuff for their daughters, so that pretty well qualified him as a de facto uncle in my book. He was a dapple like Star, though more of a bluish-grey, and his blue mane had a couple of white streaks in it just like the one in Storm’s mane. Thankfully, neither of them had picked up on his whole grim, stoic, and just generally no-fun-at-all personality. Supposedly he was capable of unclenching in private, but I’d never seen it happen.
When you think about it, Star and Storm came out remarkably well-balanced considering the fact that they were raised by a shrink and a religious leader.
There wasn’t much for the five of us to talk about, really. Uncle Typhoon was going through all the funeral arrangements and such, going over all the ceremonies, telling us where Mom would be buried, and all that. It was important for us to know the the planned funeral rites, but that topic’s not exactly the kind of thing that leads to a very lively conversation.
There was a pretty big gathering for the funeral. Not huge or anything, but between the family members, friends, and the ponies who’d served with Mom, we had a fairly large crowd. To my vague distaste, there were some high society types too, though I settled down once I realized that none of the really bad ones were there. I might not care for the Bluebloods of the world who pretty much just serve as giant social parasites, but with a group as large and diverse as the nobility you get all sorts of ponies, including plenty of decent ones like Lyra and her parents or Fancy Pants.
I felt a bit bad for Derpy, though. I appreciated her being here for me but, considering all the family history, showing up for a Cult of Shadow function had to be a bit awkward for her. Still, she hadn’t complained or even mentioned it once. She just put up with it so she could be there for me. I owed her a big thank-you for that.
Eventually, it was time to move on to the funeral proper. Ponies started gradually filing outside and heading over to the clan’s graveyard. It was still dark out, so Typhoon and his ponies had a bunch of torches set into the ground to keep ponies from tripping over their hooves on the way to the graveyard, and give us enough light to see by for the funeral itself once we got there. I could see the little aesthetic touches, like some flowers and a few touched-up banners and battle flags, that were almost certainly due to Rarity’s influence. Thankfully, she showed a lot more restraint than I’m used to seeing from her, but still did a lot to make things look nicer. I suppose I should’ve expected that in hindsight—a fashionista would be familiar with the idea that, sometimes, less is more.
I walked side-by-side with Dad and ‘Lula for the whole trip. Other ponies passed by to say a few words, the usual offering of condolences and stuff, but I didn’t really pay much attention. It’s not that I didn’t appreciate the sentiments, but right now I was mainly focused on Dad and my sister, not every random pony who wanted to stop by and say a few words.
After a walk that felt like it took forever, even though the graveyard is normally two minutes away at a casual trot, we finally made it to the big circle of torches that marked the spot where the funeral would be taking place. Uncle Typhoon and a couple of his followers had trotted up ahead at some point to get everything ready, and were currently clustered around the coffin. I could see the Princesses standing off to the side, halfway outside the circle of torches, trying not to steal too much attention from the proceedings. It was hard not to notice them though, when they just had so much raw ... presence.
Then there was Mom.
The mortician had done a good job of cleaning her up: right now I could almost think she was just peacefully sleeping. Too bad I could still remember what she’d looked like when I found her in the cave. Her body hadn’t been desecrated or anything, but...
Ugh, I really don’t wanna think about that.
Anyway, now she looked very nice and peaceful, resting in her coffin in her red burial robe. I wonder if Rarity had sewn it? It might’ve just been plain red cloth, but something about the way it was cut and rested on Mom had a kind of understated elegance to it. Not the sort of thing I could imagine my uncle coming up with, or being part of the traditional funeral rites of my clan or the Cult.
For some reason, it really bugged me that Mom had a peaceful smile on her face. It just seemed like the wrong expression for her to be buried with. Mom was never much of a smiler to begin with. Or maybe I just didn’t think it was right for her body to go into the ground with a smile on her face, considering how she’d died. It just didn’t seem fitting.
Dad set ‘Lula down and stepped up to the coffin. I gently pulled my little sister over to my side, and the two of us took a couple steps back to give him some privacy. He leaned down so his head was practically inside the casket next to hers, and I could hear him whispering to her but wasn’t close enough to make out the words. Oh Shadow, he was looking bad again—I had never realized that my big strong Dad could look so ... hurt and broken. He’d always been that pillar of strength in my life, and now I could see his shoulders bobbing up and down in quiet sobs.
As soon as he stepped away from the casket, I trotted up and hugged him. I felt so lost right now, I just had no idea what I could possibly do to help him. I guess I was in the same place a lot of my friends were when it came to trying to help me—there wasn’t anything I could do to make him magically feel better. All I could do was be there to support him.
That came to an abrupt end when, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted ‘Lula trying to scramble her way into the coffin. I let go of Dad and quickly went over to help her get to a place where she could see Mom. ‘Lula stood there on the edge of the coffin with one of my hooves on her back to help her stay balanced, staring down at Mom with this fillyish look of ... incomprehension. Like some part of her just couldn’t wrap itself around the idea that Mommy was never going to wake up again, that this was the last time she would ever get to see her.
That thing wearing my mother’s face had probably fed on ‘Lula too. It would explain why she’d been so sick. Come to think of it, she’d been a little tired and listless the last couple times I’d seen her. How long had that monster been hurting my baby sister? How much of what happened to her did ‘Lula even remember or understand? Why hadn’t I noticed that there was something horribly wrong while there was still time for me to fix it?
Alula looked down at Mom for a bit, then leaned down and gave her a quick poke with her muzzle, like she was just trying to wake Mom up from a nap. ‘Lula stared at her for a couple seconds, her ears drooping and her eyes watering as the truth finally started sinking in. Just when I thought she was about to break down crying, she bit her lower lip and sucked the tears back up, then shakily raised her left hoof to salute the casket instead. She was being the brave little soldier, trying to keep a stiff upper lip when she should be crying.
I wanted to just pull her into a big hug until everything was better, but that would ruin the moment for her. If ‘Lula wanted to be strong, then I should let her.
After a few seconds, her hoof shakily dropped from the salute. I quickly picked her up and set her back down on the ground so she would have a chance to get back to Dad before the dam broke. Maybe it was silly to care about something like that, but I felt like she needed to keep that brave face up. Like letting everypony see her crying like ... well, like a filly who’d just lost her mommy, would’ve stung her pride just a bit too much. She could have her tears in private, but all the ponies in attendance would only remember the brave little filly who saluted her fallen mother.
Once Alula got back to Dad, it was just me and Mom left. I stared down into the coffin and tried to think of something to say to her. It felt like I should be saying something deep or profound. Some big, meaningful statement that would set everything right, and perhaps give me closure on this whole thing. That’s how this was supposed to work, right? I should know exactly what to say and do, have some big speech ready about what a great mom she was, have some touching gesture that would show everypony here just how much I loved her.
To be honest, these sort of semi-public funerals have always kind of annoyed me. The idea of getting up in front of all these ponies and being expected to put on some kind of performance to show everypony how much I loved my mom and how sad I was that she was gone just didn’t sit right with me. It seemed almost like we were making a big public spectacle out of her death and our mourning. That just seemed wrong. Almost obscene, in a way.
So instead of putting on a performance, I just did what I wanted to do. I leaned down into the casket and gave my mother a final kiss on the forehead. “Bye, Mom. I love you.”
Then I turned around and walked away. I guess I could’ve talked about all the other stuff, like how I’d left the family legacy behind, or all the times we’d butted heads, but none of it really felt like it mattered anymore. All that really mattered, all that I needed to say to her, were those five words.
Once I finished, a couple more of Mom’s friends and family members stepped up to say a quick private goodbye, I kinda felt bad about not even knowing who some of those ponies were. Back when she was still around, getting to know all of Mom’s friends from the Guard hadn’t seemed important, but now it just seemed so wrong to me that there could be ponies out there who meant so much to my own mother and I didn’t even know who they were.
Once a pony that I was reasonably sure was Mom’s second-in-command stepped away from the coffin, Princess Celestia stepped up and gently cleared her throat. “Nimbus Gust was one of the finest soldiers ever to have served in my Royal Guard. Her dedication to serving the realm and her skilled leadership of the ponies under her command were an inspiration to all who knew her.” Princess Celestia paused and turned to look directly at Mom’s coffin. “I am proud, very proud, to have called Nimbus my Guard.”
From there, the Princess went into the rest of the fairly standard ‘say lots of nice things about the pony who just died’ speech. It’s not that I didn’t appreciate having the Princess herself delivering Mom’s eulogy, but I bet she’s done this so many times she’s got the speech memorized. How many ponies had died in her service? How many soldiers’ funerals had she spoken at? Did she really remember every single pony who died in her service over more than a thousand years?
How long would it take her to forget Mom?
Once her speech had run its course Celestia stepped back, and the pony I was pretty sure was Mom’s second-in-command stepped up and talked about Mom for a while. That’s really what most of a standard Cult of Shadow funeral was; just ponies stepping up, and saying a bit about the pony who died. Some of the stories were sad, some of them inspiring, and one or two of them were actually pretty funny. It was all about connections, I guess. The only thing all those had in common was how Mom had changed that pony’s life. That was the only thing that mattered, I suppose.
Once we were getting pretty close to dawn, Uncle Typhoon took over the proceedings to wrap it up. “I have prepared a brief reading from the Book of Shadow which I think suits the occasion.” Oh goody. Supposedly the Book of Shadow was a collection of Shadow’s wisdom and sayings, but I figured a lot of them were probably just something somepony made up, and attributed to Shadow to make it sound better. Then again, the Book of Shadow was pretty much just a bunch of Lyequine philosophy with tweaks and adjustments to modernize it and make it more universally applicable, so I guess Shadow probably wouldn’t mind having her name slapped on it anyway.
“Death,” Uncle Typhoon began, “follows soldiers for all their lives. We seek to bring it upon our enemies and prevent it ‘mongst our friends and allies. We do not fear death. Not because we are fearless, but because we have known it too long and well. Ponies fear that which they neither know nor understand, and all soldiers know death.
“That is not to say that our losses bring us no pain.” Uncle Typhoon paused, and gave a quick nod to Dad, ‘Lula, and me. “The loss of a comrade will always be an occasion for sadness and mourning. But we must honor them in death as we did in life. We must carry on, despite our pain, and fulfill our duties. When a soldier falls in battle, their comrades close ranks and stand firm. We will shed our tears in private, when the living no longer need us and the dead can have their time.”
Uncle Typhoon gave a very slight nod to the Princess. “But we must always remember that for all our losses, no matter how bleak life may seem in the face of death, a new day shall dawn.” Right as he delivered that line, the sun poked over the horizon. It was a nice touch—the Cult normally likes a funeral to wrap up right around sunrise for all the usual symbolic reasons, but when the Princess is attending getting the timing of that down is a lot easier. “The old words of our clan say that death waits in the dark. If that is true, then it also means that life lies in the light.”
That little bit of showmareship pretty much marked the end the funeral proper. They closed the coffin, and the burial itself went pretty fast. I heard somepony start crying when the first shovelful of dirt hit the coffin, as if it was just now finally sinking in that Mom was dead. Not sure who it was, aside from the fact that I could safely rule out Fluttershy. Eepy had been crying pretty much non-stop ever since the funeral started.
Mom’s grave was pretty simple, the way most Kicker graves were. Just her name and two simple words: “For Equestria.”
It wasn’t much, by most ponies’ standards. It was enough for us though, as long as we had our memories.
Celestia had set aside one of the ballrooms in the palace to host the post-funeral reception. That’s not quite as big of a deal as it sounds—the palace has a lot of rooms. A pretty big chunk of the palace was actually used for high-society parties, big public conventions, and just about anything else that required a large gathering of ponies. No point in letting all those rooms just go to waste when ponies could be using them. Especially since the ridiculously high rental fees were a huge source of extra income for the Crown. Well, Crowns, now.
The Princess was kind enough to cover the costs for the reception herself. Maybe that was her way of making up for how things had gone with Dad in the aftermath of Mom’s death. Or maybe she just wanted to do something nice for us. The room was pretty nicely done up, which I might have Rarity to thank for. Too bad a thank-you bang was off the table.
In any case, Princess Celestia didn’t stick around for the actual reception. She did kind of have to get back to the whole ‘running Equestria’ thing. I was a little surprised when Princess Luna didn’t leave with her. Luna had been kind of hanging in the background for most of the funeral, to the point where I’d pretty much just assumed she was only there because Celestia was. Now, I wondered if there were bigger reasons for her being here.
I didn’t need to wonder that for long. Once the initial round of well-wishers had passed by, the Princess herself came up to me and Dad. After the usual passing on of her condolences, she got straight down to business. “Lieutenant Commander, Cloud Kicker; there is a matter I would discuss with both of you.”
Well, that caught my interest. From how serious and formal her tone was, she clearly wanted to talk about something big. Dad glanced down at Alula, who was leaning up against his side and seemed to be half-drowsing. Between the unusual hours and the fact that she’d just gone through Mom’s funeral, my little sister didn’t seem to have much energy left.
Princess Luna glanced down at my little sister, then swung her head around and settled her eyes on Star, who was in the middle of chatting with Lyra and Sparkler. A second later Star gave a surprised little twitch, then turned around and trotted up to the four of us. “Um, hey Uncle Tore. I'll keep an eye on 'Lula while you talk to the Princess, okay?” I guess Luna must’ve done some sort of alicorn magic thing to let Star know what she wanted.
After several painfully long seconds of complete silence, Dad reluctantly removed his wing from around Alula, letting Star pick the tired little filly up and settle her in place on her back. Alula’s eyes snapped back open when she realized we were going to be leaving her, but a second later a faint glow emanated from the Princess’ horn and her eyes slowly closed again. “Rest, child,” the Princess softly murmured. “Dream of happier times, and let the trials and pains of this day fade into memory.”
“Thanks, Your Highness.” I stepped up and gave my little sister a quick kiss on the forehead. “Sweet dreams, Little Wing.”
Star stopped to give me and Dad a quick goodbye nuzzle before turning around and heading back over to Lyra and Sparkler. Star did seem to be getting along pretty well with Derpy’s elder daughter—I’d have to remember to tease them about that later. Sure, as far as I knew Sparkler still had her crush on that one cute stallion in her class, but why let a few inconvenient facts get in the way of a good tease? Besides, it’s not like her having a crush on a stallion precluded the possibility of her having the hots for my cousin too.
Star got maybe three steps away from us before Eepy and Dinky descended on her, though their real focus was on ‘Lula. Hopefully the two of them would be able to work out some compromise where my sister could be simultaneously Flutter-nurtured and given one of Dinky’s get-better hugs.
Dad kept his eyes on ‘Lula for long enough that he was almost at the point of being rude. Before I could work up the nerve to say anything, though, he finally turned to Luna. “You wanted to speak, Princess?”
Thankfully, Luna seemed to be in an understanding mood instead of getting all prickly about it. “Indeed I did. If the two of you will follow me?” Luna led us to a relatively private corner of the ballroom, and then her horn glowed midnight blue for half a second or so. Once the spell settled down over us I vaguely recognized it as something like the good old Background Pony spell, except ... more. I guess that figures, when it’s a princess casting the spell. Presumably the general effect of making our presence and conversation seem supremely uninteresting to anypony else in the room was much the same.
I was understandably curious about just what Luna wanted to talk to us about that required a privacy spell. Thankfully, Luna was not one to mince words or waste time on idle pleasantries. Probably why she’d been so popular back in Pegasopolis. “I thought it proper to provide both of you with an update on our investigation into the circumstances surrounding Nimbus' death.”
Dad instantly went stiff as a board. I took a couple deep breaths, then wrapped a wing over his back. “Thank you for that, Princess. What can you tell us?”
“Princess Cadance,” a hint of a frown crossed her face at the mention of the junior princess, “and the Equestrian Intelligence Service have uncovered information that implicates Griffonia as the ultimate sponsor of the creature that struck down Major Gust.”
I couldn’t help but wonder what her beef was with Cadance. Maybe she just didn’t like Celestia expanding the alicorn population. Or maybe she figured that the timing of Cadance’s ascension meant that Celestia had probably intended Cadance as a backup plan to take Nightmare Moon down. That would make things just a bit tense between them. Or maybe Cadance borrowed her toothbrush once without asking. It always pisses me off when ponies do that.
Dad’s eyes narrowed. “I see. What do we know so far?”
“At her coronation, the new High Queen confirmed her claims to Westmarch,” Luna answered.
By itself, that wasn’t convincing. It had been more than eight hundred years since Equestria had snapped Westmarch off of Griffonia and turned it into an independent republic under our protection. Hay, the griffons there had absorbed so much pony cultural influence that they didn’t even eat meat anymore. Not to mention that the whole merchant republic thing meant that they were a lot better off than Griffonia proper, since there weren’t civil wars over succession every generation.
Having a new High King or Queen make one or two obligatory noises about reclaiming Westmarch was normal, but anypony who looked at the balance of forces knows the griffons wouldn’t stand a chance. Westmarch could probably give them a nasty enough fight all on its own, and once Equestria got involved as well it would all be over. “Anything else?”
Princess Luna went quiet for several seconds, then reluctantly spoke up. “Some months ago, somepony claiming to be a representative of the Griffonian government approached me with a proposal for a sort of ... joint venture. They would aid in the overthrow of my sister in exchange for Equestria’s neutrality in a Griffonia-Westmarch war.”
Guess it figures that talking about a foreign power offering to help her usurp the throne from Celestia would be a bit awkward for Princess Luna. Hitting a bit too close to home when it comes to the whole Nightmare Moon thing. Still, it did explain one or two things. “That’s still pretty nuts, but I guess I could buy that maybe griffons would believe that could work.” I shrugged and thought back to what I knew about Griffonia. “They can't go a generation without having some kind of civil war over who should be running the country. They might think we’d be the same way.”
“Indeed.” Luna let out a faintly derisive snort. “According to Princess Cadance’s intelligence, the griffons also attempted to contact Discord, Chrysalis, and several dragons. Her agents even intercepted a party in the far north, searching for the ruins of the Crystal Empire.”
“So they're fishing for allies,” Dad concluded. “Makes sense; everypony knows they can’t win on their own. Who would want to join forces with them, though?”
“We do not know for certain.” Luna grimaced. “All we know is that their efforts to locate allies ceased a few months ago, and now Cadance’s agents say they prepare for war.”
That definitely sounded bad. “So does that mean they think they can pull it off? That they have somepony—something to help them? Something big enough to even the scales?”
“It would be prudent to proceed upon the assumption that they do.” A distant look came into Luna’s eyes, and her voice turned almost contemplative as she added, “There are many forces in this world. There are some weaker than my sister and I, and some greater. And there are some against which we have not yet been tested.”
“Do we have any idea who they’re working with?” Dad asked.
”We do not yet know,” the Princess admitted with an aggravated little snort, “but we intend to discover the truth as quickly as possible. Princess Cadance has our intelligence service investigating every party Griffonia is known to have contacted. However, until we can be certain who they have aligned themselves with we must be on guard against a strike at Canterlot. The removal of myself and Celestia would badly destabilize Equestria and largely destroy our capacity for organized resistance.” I could swear I heard just a hint of annoyance in Luna’s voice as she added, “T’would seem that Equestria has grown far more centralized and reliant upon our leadership than it was in ages past.”
Dad and I prudently decided not to comment on royal politics and just stick to the security threats. “What about the Guard’s efforts at scouting for enemy activity?” Dad asked. “And what commitments have we made to monitor or counter the griffons?”
“My sister and I intend to send a battalion of guardponies to supplement Westmarch's forces,” Luna announced. That certainly got my attention—a battalion was a pretty large chunk of the Guard’s peacetime strength. Equestria hadn’t really had much incentive to maintain a large standing army after a couple centuries of peace (aside from the usual wandering monsters and such) when a small, elite force could do the job just as well. There’d been some talk of expanding the Guard after the incidents with Discord and Nightmare Moon, but to be honest your average guardpony just wasn’t equipped to deal with that kind of thing.
Dad thought it over for a bit, then gave an approving nod. “That should be more than enough to sustain Westmarch unless things go catastrophically wrong.” Admittedly it would be a very small force compared what a fully mobilized Griffonia or Westmarch could field, but between the Guard’s training and the fact that they were all equipped with unicorn-enchanted gear, modern guardponies tended to have a frightening amount of concentrated striking power.
“As for scouting,” Luna answered the second part of Dad’s question, “the bulk of our forces not occupied in the defense of Canterlot are engaged in scouting along our borders. If the enemy believes they have sufficient strength to strike at Canterlot and decapitate the Equestrian government, then any advanced warning our scouts might provide could be vital. I intend to return to the border myself once my business here is ended.”
It sounded like we had things somewhat under control, but there was one big issue I could see. “You're sure about Cadance's intelligence? Seems like we’re basing a whole lot of our defense plans on it.”
“The management of our intelligence services is part of her role in the government,” Luna announced coolly. To be honest, I wasn’t even aware that Cadance did ... well, much of anything. A lot of ponies had been really excited at first when we learned that Celestia had raised a new alicorn princess, but the novelty of it wore off pretty fast. Especially since Cadance didn’t seem to really do anything except exist quietly in the background, largely forgotten by everypony.
Okay, her running Equestria’s spooks kind of made sense in light of that.
“Nonetheless, we are working to confirm all the intelligence Cadance has gathered.” Nice to know Luna was playing it safe. Then she turned her attention fully onto me—I felt just a little uncomfortable at being the center of a Princess’ attention. The worst part was, I still couldn’t spot a single thing to answer the question of whether or not we’d really banged. “However, the issue of scouting raises the final issue that I would discuss with you. Machwing Company is in need of a new commanding officer.” Luna was still hitting me with that unnervingly intense look of hers, and after a couple seconds I figured out exactly what she had in mind.
So did Dad, and he didn’t like it. “There’s already a significant pool of qualified candidates, Princess.”
I could understand him not wanting me out in the field right after what happened to Mom, but there was a lot more going on. Offering me Mom’s old command was a pretty big deal. I was admittedly a bit low on rank and experience for a position like that, but I guess the Princess figured that I was up to it. A lot of the soldiers might appreciate having their old CO’s daughter running things and it would definitely feel like I was carrying on her legacy.
Besides, it sounded like Equestria might be in for a rough fight. I’d always kind of told myself that if the Guard actually needed me, I would come back—maybe it was time to prove that I’d meant it, and wasn’t just rationalizing away my guilt for semi-deserting.
Hay, the fact that the Princess herself was asking me to come back to active duty was a pretty big feathering deal. “Dad.” I hesitantly licked my lips. “M-maybe it's time. If there's a war, shouldn't I be there to do my duty? For Mom?” If I’m gonna be honest, it wasn’t just duty for me. Sure, I wanted to do right by Equestria, but a part of me also wanted payback. It’s not very noble or heroic, but that’s how it was. They’d killed Mom, now I wanted to kill them back.
Dad sighed, and a took a couple deep breaths before answering me. “Our duties to the living are more important than our duties to the dead, Cloud. If there's a war, you'll have a duty to Alula—not many of us will be able to be there for her.”
I opened and closed my mouth a couple times before I could actually work out what to say. “There's still everypony at the clanhold to help with Alula. Aunt Wind and Uncle Typhoon aren’t exactly line officers. Hay, they’d probably do a way better job of taking care of her than I would.”
Dad went quiet for a bit, probably because he wasn’t too fond of the idea of having a family argument in front of royalty. That didn’t stop him forever. “No, Cloud.”
“With respect, Lieutenant Commander.” Luna kept her voice gentle as she cut in, but there was a hint of royal authority in it. “It is your daughter’s decision.”
I flinched at that; I hadn’t meant to get Dad corrected by one of the Princesses. She was right, though. This was a decision I needed to make for myself. “Can I have a couple of days to think about it? Talk about it with family and everypony? This isn't the best time.”
Princess Luna’s face softened into a sympathetic smile. “Yes, of course. You can have a week to consider the matter. I wish I could offer more, but in light of the current situation...”
I raised a hoof to forestall any apologies. “I understand; the unit needs a CO.” Well, Mom’s number two could probably handle things just fine if it came down to it, honestly. Hay, even if I did take over I’d probably spend a lot of time just doing what he suggested until I got a proper feel for things. “Thank you, Your Highness.”
Dad, for his part, was about as close to glaring at Luna as he could get away with. “Was there anything else, ma'am?”
Luna couldn’t have missed my Dad’s tone, but thankfully she decided to maintain her royal composure and pretended not to notice it. “I believe that is all. I thank you both for your time, and once more convey my sincerest condolences for your loss.”
Dad saluted her, and after a moment’s hesitation I joined him. If there was a chance I might be going back into the Guard, I should probably get used to doing that again.
As soon as the Princess was an appropriate distance away, Dad turned back to me. “Cloud, you know I don’t want you returning to the Guard. Not now, when Alula’s just lost her mother. She needs her family. Do you really want us both to be out in the field, where something could happen to both of us? Yes, Wind could look after her, but how do you think she would feel, knowing that the rest of her family might not come back?” Dad paused and shuffled his wings. “I—if Equestria didn’t need me, I would hesitate to enter the battlefield myself. As it is, I recently received an offer to take up a teaching position at West Hoof. Once this current crisis is resolved, I intend to take it. I do not want Alula to lose another parent.” His gaze softened for a moment, then became rock-hard. “And I have no intention of ever burying a daughter. The rest of the clan will do its duty, but I think my family has given enough of its blood for Equestria.”
It was hard to argue with that. I could talk about how Equestria needed me, and that trumped my family’s need, but I’m not sure I could really believe that. Abstract concepts like duty and honor are hard to keep believing in when they’re up against the fact that your family needs you. “I would do it, Dad. Join the Guard. I'm not afraid anymore, not gonna second-guess myself.” Again. I took a deep breath. “But right now my family needs me where I am. Maybe, once all this is over and you’ve got that nice cushy desk job far away from the battlefield, I can think about the Guard again.”
It felt like the right choice. Like I’d sorted something out. I still wasn’t completely sure what I would decide, especially when there was still a whole lot of my life hanging in limbo, but I felt like I could make that choice now. Like if it came down to it, I wouldn’t lose my nerve and run away again, or just keep waffling indecisively until something else resolved it all for me.
“I’ll be there for ‘Lula, Dad,” I reassured him. “For as long as she needs me, I’ll be there for her.”
I was a little surprised when Dad pulled me into a hug, but wasted no time in returning it. “I need you to make sure that Alula recovers. From this, as much as...” He couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence, but I knew what he meant. That thing had hurt my sister, on top of what losing Mom had done. That would take a lot of time and love to heal.
I felt my eyes starting to mist up a bit, but held the tears back. We were Kickers, and this wasn’t a time for crying. “Yeah, I'll do that. I love you, Dad.”
Dad tightened his hug around me. “I love you too, Cloud.”
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Cloud's torn in a lot of different directions, but her focus never leaves the ponies she loves. Nimbus casts a long shadow for her and for readers, which is especially impressive considering we never technically meet her.
Dinky, you're up. Your mission: give the Kicker's as much get-better hugs as possible.
Here's your equipment: a cardboard box. Now go!
This chapter really hurt, hurt all over the place. I can really sympathize for Cloud Kicker and her loss here.
I actually cried at the funeral scene..
And wow... just wow.. a war? Uff... that's .. can't even find the right words...
its the changelings that are going attack right? if chrysalis has already replaced cadence she'd be in a ideal position to misdirect the equestrian forces. the only problem is i don't see how she got the infiltrator to work for her. just a theory.
Like Cloud and Dash mentioned, there's a lot of looming implications for what happened that night. The funeral wasn't the right time to address them... but between Cloud's usual luck, and her statement of intent to be forthright with both the mares, I wouldn't at all be surprised if both of those conversations turn frigid. Add on top of that Cloud's intentions to finish what she started at West Hoof (growing ever since the beginning of the Nimbus arc) as well as having now buried her mother, and I'm sensing a lot of change on the horizon.
Great chapter
Alula going all JFK Jr. at Nimbus' funeral... well done.
Oh man. Talk about hitting hard in the emotions. To be honest, I'm not entirely sure where this story is going now. Obviously, the war will be mentioned and Derpy will be told about Blossom, but... wow.
To everyone who hasn't read any of the four stories in the A/N: Read them.
Fantastic as always
I shed tears at the funeral scene.
Throwing a Lord of the Rings quote into an incredibly serious chapter? Really? I don't know how to feel about that. Normally I love that kind of thing, but I really wasn't expecting it in the middle of the funeral.
Still, great chapter. I look forward to the next installment of what is, in my opinion, the best ongoing story on Fimfiction.
Long ago, I originally filed this story under "Bawdy Farce".
It seems to be seamlessly transitioning into "War and Peace with Ponies and Banging".
I am awestruck.
Great chapter, as usual. Keep it up.
Manly tears were shed
Also, nice workout with cadence controlling the intel of equestria.
Waiting for next Chap and The Lunar Rebellion next arc ;)
Man, I really hope Kicker follows through with all that taking Blossom out on a date and showing her how much she really cares stuff. As for the funeral, that was a really nice scene, in fact, the whole storyline about Cloud's mother has been pretty awesome and emotional, I love it. I hope Dinky has a lot of hugs in her, Cloud Kicker is going to need as many as she can get.
This may be the best use of Luna's dominion over dreams I have ever seen.
The bright pink Alicorn of Love is the head of the Equestrian Intelligence. SEEMS LEGIT.
Then again, maybe that's the point. Who would have ever expected THAT?
2579016
Speaking of meeting Nimbus, what ever happened to that story centering on her and the rebellion?
Well, Winningverse has continued to be awesome. Though seeing part of my headcanon for a future chapter of the fic I'm very slowly working on inside of Winningverse... dangit~
Wow, that chapter hit me right in the feels, my eyes even misted up a few times during the funeral scene. Too many of my own painful memories being brought back to the surface I suppose... Great chapter, I'm really looking forward to the next one!
2581939 Manly tears? Buck that, I sobbed
Another wonderful chapter, I am curious on what Derpy and Blossom were going through throughout this. Since this is all Cloudkicker's perspective we don't really know, but they kind of faded into the background of this chapter. Not as concerned about Derpy as she at least had a scene or two, but Cloud and Blossom slept together, and then it seems they have barely, or haven't really talked since then. So it makes me wonder alot about her thoughts during this time and what she's going through. Not really sure how much more difficult and confusing all of their lives can be, but you've kept the drama going really well, it's amazing how this story has evolved from a simple but very funny fic about Cloudkicker sleeping around to where it is now.
Oh snap, Rarity's in town? I could kiss you!
isn't that Storm talking, and therefore doing the action?
also, I lost it bit there's a rampant 'ti' where there should be a 'to'
okay, chapter read, and I am shaking with excitement...
back to the old drawing board!
fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/301/0/6/fluttershy_flips_a_table_by_almetheus_nol-d5f2rpa.png
Interesting chapter. I don't recall the Cult of Shadow (This chapter seems to feel I should be fairly aware of them and I have no memory of them whatsoever
)
As well Cloud's comment
Is really at odds with the fact that not too far back she mentions that Rarity wants to cover everything in sparkly gems and she has to sit everyone down and talk it out. If Rarity understands that less is more then why wouldn't she be going for that in the first place?
This chapter felt a bit rushed in spots. Rarity is repeatedly mentioned but only in passing and considering cloud talks to her a decent amount this felt a bit strange, as well Cloud sort of gives the impression of being both heavily involved and not even remotely involved in the funeral arrangements which kind of threw me.
MY final nitpick (assuming you're still here
) has to be Luna. I don't understand why she would feel it's perfectly reasonable to come to the funeral and ask CK to serve while everyone would still be emotionally distraught. I understand they have a week but this still felt really tacky. I guess I figured both Luna and Celestia would know better.
As well Luna never explains why she feels CK would be better than as her father puts it "The large pool of significantly qualified candidates" The fact that CK is just left to think on this feels really off. Luna comes across as doing this in a whim rather than something that would surely be planned and discussed beforehand. She leaves out a lot of information and it really just bothers me. *shrugs* sorry.
I do still really enjoy this fic don't get me wrong. i'm not loving the change from goofy fun to intense emotional and mental anguish but you're doing it pretty awesome so i'm happy to see how it plays out
to
Another well written chapter. My only question is has Cadance already been replaced by Chrysalis when she gave the aforementioned intel? Or was it actually Cadance who gave it?
Jesus christ, Luna.... How low can you get?
Trying to recruit a mare already unbalanced by grief, and at her own mother's funeral no less?!? 
Jeez, let me go on record as saying she needs to be bitchslapped, HARD.
On a lighter note, another sublime chapter.
Right in the feels.... 
Nicely done.
Hmm, why wouldn't we trust Cadance's intelligence information?
Oh, wait.
Oh! OOHHHH! I keep forgetting the timeline!
Too much to think about. I'll try to make sense of all this first.
Lovely chapter, and now the wait for the next begins again. But at least i have some other reading to catch up on.
Also found a single error :
, just passing that along for eventual corrections.
The second story in three years to make me shed manly tears. Thank you. I am hoping the CK/Blossom/Derpy conversation will be up next? Cannot wait to see the backlash but I think Derpy will be forgiving in light of the situation.
I do have one minor nitpick. It was suggested that Nimbus was dead for at least two months and her funeral was an open casket. Unless unicorn magic can fix up decomp.
Still a very well done and emotional chapter and I absolutely love the Winningverse. Keep bringing it!
I have read many sad stories on this site, yet not once have my eyes moistened.This time however, was different.
I come from a war ridden land, where death while in the service, while not a common occurrence, is not rare either. I've met many who've lost their loved ones to war and i have witnessed their grief, and throughout you have succeeded in awakening in me fears and terrors which I am usually rather reluctant to face, bringing me to the edge of shedding tears. Kudos.
2582496 They're in a potential wartime situation. She's Royalty. Fuck emotions, her subjects need every on-the-ball pony they can get to defend them.
Her call is the correct one. It's not empathetic, but she doesn't have that luxury. If she had the power, she'd probably draft Kicker, and she'd be right to do so.
One Pony < Nation
2582733 You're correct of course, she has that right.
However, I can't help but find Luna's actions intensely repulsive at best. It's a funeral, and she's trying to recruit the daughter of the one in the coffin?
That's wrong, end of story. 
Celestia is also a Princess of Equestria, and she had the perfect opportunity to recruit Cloud Kicker besides Shadow Kicker's grave in the last chapter. Cloud Kicker all but threw herself at Celestia's hooves insisting that she join the guard. Yet Celestia refused, knowing full well that Cloud Kicker wasn't in the right mind to make such a decision.
Celestia did the right thing, Luna did not.
Rarity? Hmn.
And a Cult of Shadow funeral, Shadovars? Double hmn.
Dammit, I'm a hair away from crying about a fictional pony's funeral. I was fine until the bit with Alula!
Oh Cloud Kicker.
Huh, Cadence has totally been replaced, hasn't she.
I don't know why, but that bit got me good. It might be the fact that even in times of emotional turmoil and under pressure from a princess, she still uses a simple pet name. Either way, I teared up.
It seems like Westmarch is basically Equestria's version of the Falklands (from the British perspective of course)
Awesome chapter, and It's unfortunate, but I'm really struggling with the winningverse right now. There's just so many stories that I can't possibly keep on top of them all without getting them confused or losing track or where things fit together. Plus I'm reading close to 100,000 words a day (300,000 on weekends and other holidays) so I don't know Where I would would find the time to fit them all in.
I'm really not looking forward to Cloud Kickers big talk with Derpy about her night with Blossomforth. That just screams tears, anger and break ups.
2582496 It might be cruel, but it's rather necessary for her to do so. "Strike while the iron is so hot" so to speak. Luna probably knows it's no morally right, but they need a mare like Cloud Kicker. Determined, Loyal (most of the time) and the pony that brought down a Changeling thing-a-ma-bob (I want to say Praetorian, but that doesn't seem quite right) near enough single handed. Luna knows that the best way to get her is when she's hunting for revenge and is susceptible to the offer.
2581609Probably, I think what's going on is a case of dramatic Irony, we already know things that they don't, like a chapter or two ago when Rainbow Dash mentions not wanting to meet Shining Armor again, when she is invited to the wedding.
they left to Find Nimbus about A week after Tornado day, which were the events depicted in "Hurricane Fluttershy", there are only 2 episodes between that and "A Canterlot Wedding" so it would make sense for Chrysalis to have Replaced Cadance at this point.
2582852 You are right, I freely concede that.
Luna had the right to do what she did, she also has the right to conscript Cloud Kicker if she so desires.
I in no way question the validity of what she's doing, only the morality.
... kinda upset about how poor Blossom keeps being treated in this story.
2582777Luna has also been in the moon for a Millennium, things might have been different then
Well, early in the chapter, you had me laughing and going "awww" at the same lines (Dash's).
But then... the funeral was a tough read. I've read entire books that have the main character die at the end and have felt next to nothing for them. With Nimbus, however, I was just shy of breaking down. And we hadn't even met her, really. Or maybe we did? Damn changelings.
That final sentence was the exact moment where I started to tear up.
Also, CK keeps going and tying up those loose ends... Good for her, I say, but if this continues at its current rate, then Incredibly Wonderful Life will become entirely superfluous. Not that I'm complaining, mind you - I've still got other things that I should be writing, after all.
Oh, and still holding out for a Cloudy/Blossom/Derpy ending, as hopelessly optimistic as that probably is.
This was unbelievably depressing but amazing
How do you keep on extracting tears from me? I should have run out of them by now right?
Anyways I think Derpy will treat this the defeat or at least reason to share Cloudy.
To utilize an admittedly overused adage: "Well, that escalated quickly". Also, sheer awesome.
Dammit. I shouldn't have read this after a girl at my school died. Really freaking bad timing.
As good a chapter as ever though.
chengar you need to update faster! i can't wait for the next chapter, hopefully its filled with as many feels as this one was, and i think CK would do better as an IO than a field pony, but that's just me
So, will we be seeing another chapter before the month is out? Not trying to be greedy, I just really want more, since this is one of the best fics I follow that hasn't reached a conclusion yet.
EDIT: Also, you should really consider adding the Sad tag to this. Because it's sad as all hell.
2582365
Ancient stealth technique: Hide in plain sight.
2583680
That awkward moment when you realize:
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equals
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Nah just kidding, she is actually:
t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSAr8SXODoXkJRSskrsvk6lHid9UeM16Tfbq_Jqnb4kXQrHitrD
This is war? Oh god.