Connor is your average guy in his mid-twenties. He has a stable home life but can't help but feel his parents are hiding something from him. After going camping, he wakes to find himself in Equestria and sets out to make the most of his time there. But interesting discoveries are made along the way, along with the attention of fiery maned pegasus mare....
Note: There is some use of strong language in this story. Also MLP (sadly) doesn't exist in this story. The story starts around half way through the first season.
Note 2 (26/12/16): Sex tag added (during writing for Chapter 25) for obvious reasons. Nothing explicit or detailed but things implied and use of innuendo.
Note 3: This story finally got featured on 3/8/2017. YAY! (Or at least that's when I first noticed)
You have my Interest, fave. Also.....Blueblood deserves to be buttf*cked by a cactus covered in lemon juice and salt
Fun Read, You Have Captured My Interest.
While history might not be quite the same if tea were to be removed from history (considering the British Tea Company had fairly huge political power) I doubt modern life would suffer all that much without it (remember not all the English liked Tea, that's a sterotype that Americans came up with...)
6290928 I haven't read this yet, and that sounds Awful!'
But, knowing Blueblood, I'd say he deserves for whatever he did in this story.
:D
6290928 All who agree with this statement, say "I".
Nice story so far; a little cliche in places but still very interesting, and I look forward to seeing what happens next.
Redundant repetition.
Maybe it's because I'm an Australian, but four to six cups of tea a day is nothing.
6293350
I would drink more but work gets in the way.
6293319
Thanks for pointing it out. I'll fix it ASAP.
6290928
Rarity may have heard you.......
6293533 Fair enough.
Blueblood, meet my friend, butterfly knife!
Is there going to be an actual, viable reason for why his family are like that or is it just a thing where they're dicks? I find it hard to believe parents would harbor so much hate for their own child that they'd take his money, throw him out and even follow him to his work place just to criticize him. The fact that they are so cruel to him doesn't make any sense, being disappointed is one thing but that's unnecessary pure hatred.
I also find it quite odd how these people are apparently this incredibly cruel and after the entire family (really? every soul is his ENTIRE family hates him for no good reason?) kicks him out, he seems to cope with it incredibly bloody well.
6296893
I'll go into detail in later chapters.
6296893 While I do agree that there needs to be a more legitimate reason for them being dicks, I can understand his detachment from it; if you've spent a lifetime catching shit from someone about something {as he likely has with his parents} the break is much easier than people would think. Not without it's mental/emotional problems of course, but at that point you're not losing much sleep over it because you've come to resent them just as much as they do you. That said there should really be something that drove everyone to that point because that's pretty extreme.
In addition to that, while the story interests me to some degree: pacing. Oh good gods pacing man. In a single chapter he's been kicked out of his home, woke up in Equestria, and Celestia has gotten involved at what's depicted as complete random.
Did she just know something was going to happen, was she investigating a magical disturbance? For what reason did she have to be there right as Spitfire crashed.
That's not really an explanation for a ruler of the land to be in that place at that time.
Certainly not a bad story but I would strongly suggest finding an editor. I'll keep an eye on this and possibly read through the rest later, but til' then I wish you luck in your endeavors.
Edit: This comment was made prior to reading chapters 2, 3, and 4. Will possibly edit it when/if I get through them.
K
Let's make our friendly human go make an ak47, and then teach blueblood how to dance by shooting around his hooves.
Please.
I would tell that, that sound stereotypical and that english people are not all that concern for tea but 4 times? really? your tea is that good?
I will say, Twilight getting back at him, a bit hard consider how she usually is calm and collective, also Connor is a writer not a…oh right, Twilight loves all kinds of books, never mind.
Ok I will just like to say, so far so good but and this is a bit of my personal thing of mine, but go easy on the romance and friendship thing, the thing with Twilight made sense, (even if you got a notch overboard a bit at the end) but the thing with Spit fire is WAAAAAAY to soon, they only being knowing each other for a total of 1 day and she is already getting a bit too friendly toward him, specially with that 'sit next to me' and nuzzle that honestly I think come out of nowhere, but it can be easily justify.
For now, its go good, and that is just my only complain.
Maybe for the next chapter you can add a little thing extra for Connor…if you like the idea that is, a way to say goodbye to Luna, if you like it let me know and I PM you of what is about
ah nice chapter, I think I know what the present will be, and I hope this is not the last we see of the princesses
great chapter man, I can't wait for the next.
6296893
Have to agree, this guy seems like he might be a purity-sue 'Oh, my family/ everyone I know treats me like Hitler punching a bag of puppies, but I just smile and it doesn't interfere with the goodness of my heart' 'So sad, I will love you even if those horrible people don't' 'It isn't their fault it is societi'es, forgive them like I have.' 'You are such a nice person!'
or he could be emo like a teenager who's parents didn't buy them a ticket to their FAVORITE concert about the whole thing, and they say how he should let it go/etc and he saves the kingdom and proves the mean people wrong.
Etc, etc.
Some inconsistency here; when Celestia used magic to heal him, couldn't she have done the same when he was knocked out, or when Spitfire sprained her wing? How did she know his cheekbone was cracked?
Also, he adjusted pretty quickly to being teleported to a new world... I would expect a bit more of an explanation if I landed in Equestria and happened to not be a Brony. Finally, the fight with Blueblood was very short lived - his appearance was also very sudden. I would expect maybe a "Who the heck are you?!" Or something along those lines from Connor. However, you did come up with a legitimate reason for having meat, and you captured Blueblood quite well.
Word of warning...many do not like humans turning into ponies
There is no escape
6365094 Thanks for pointing those out. I'll try and come up with plausible reasons.
6365100 Neither do I if it's 'just because'. If it is something that fits the story and makes sense then I don't mind.
6365156 true if it's correctly done it's not a problem
Is giraffe the answer?
If he turns into a pony I am done with this story.
6338750 i reaaaaaallly hope its a piss take based off the description
I will also admit to dropping this story if conner becomes a pony. Good reason or not.
Aside from that your writing is improving as you go and the work your putting into chapters really shines through
Please don't make him into a pony or if that happen just very briefly, I like human Connor and I rather keep thing with human Connor.
Also I like how you think outside the box with him having his own opinion, and not instantly liking everything like a lot of stories do. Also he might be scare but I like he stood up to Pinkie and I want to see more of this, I would enjoy to see this rocky path he and Pinkie had, maybe he explain to Pinkie why he is so adverse to parties and Pinkie now more relax tries to convince him to give them a second chance.
Don't know why, but I'm not exactly liking the part of Celestia, thanks to explain Fire reaction, but Celestia was just out of place, she will be equally wonder if things could go anywhere not being a troll, except the last part, that I can agree, but 'I know she likes you'? yeah that was just jumping the shark big time, Connor is still in the 'I'm the last one of my species face' what is he? captain kurt? let that sink in dude, that all I'm saying
i've read every chapter and i gotta say this is grate, you deserve a nose boop
i492.photobucket.com/albums/rr289/axlthehedgehog_2008/responses/nose%20boop/boop.gif
stayclassy
1000 views reached. Not really a milestone but worthy a mention. Thanks anyway to all for the feedback/comments, up votes and down votes.
I changed the title picture. I will eventually draw my own.
I'm interested in seeing where this goes
Sound like something call...*Hiccup*...
Its ok dude we understand and its good that you are answering our questions, this story is going back in track now
I've just a small favour to ask. Would those who have down voted state why they did so, if only so I can improve in those areas. Likewise, for those that up vote please do the same so I know where I'm going right.
6409414 Is that character in the GIF giving Fausticorn a nose-boop.
Yes you are Connor:
Yes you are.
I've read a bunch of stories where this happens: human goes to Equestria, human meets Spike, and human attempts to speak to Spike in Dovahzul. But this is the first story I have read where Spike understands and responds in kind. This entire scene was glorious and I thank you for it.
6540680 I'll see if I can have them talk more like that. I'll start writing the ninth chapter soon as well.
i have some ideas on what the surprise could be, but i dont think any of them qualify. great chapter tho, cant wait for the next ones