As Canterlot picks up the pieces after a surprise attack that left the city reeling, ponies whisper and spread rumors of their attackers. A lone infiltrator in their midst knows the truth, for he has kept their existence secret through deception and bloodshed.
Now the secret is out, and with his brothers and sisters blasted into the wilderness, he begins the task ordered by his Queen. Hiding among the ponies behind a smiling mask, he eventually finds a mare with information he needs.
An offer of friendship is made and accepted. As she lowers her guard to him, he takes one step closer to reaching his goal.
He has a role to fill. To avenge the Hive, Princess Celestia must die.
Edited by Noble Thought
Thanks to Zodiacspear and ZOMG for prereading.
Cover art: Changeling by Engavar
Oh, hey! You finally posted it! Sweet
yeah one drone is going to defeat something that can overpower dragons.
6286951
No, of course not. That's why he has a plan.
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If you'd read the first chapter, you'd know just how wrong your assumption was. But, hey, why do that when you can blind comment, eh?
This is... Far better than the initial rating of 10-4 when I saw it has let on. I legitimately find it interesting. Please continue.
6287462
I plan to. Thanks for giving it a shot!
I'm calling it, Cherry is a changeling.
6291063
*hastily rewrites the entire story*
Amazing story so far
6291198
Thank you!
I think I heard something hit the fan...
6294719
Duck and cover.
can't wait for next chap
6295233
And it's up! I hope it meets your expectations!
It does - I don't comment much, but I wanted to say thank you, ME. I'm truly enjoying the story, and am eagerly anticipating how it turns out. :)
6298579
You're welcome, and thank you, too. It does me good to know people are enjoying it.
Daily updates without decreasing qualitly!
A+
6301547
Thanks!
Think the guy is missing two major factors here to his strategy.
A, chrysalis is far more powerful than a drone to start with. Stronger than most unicorns for sure, albeit lacking skill.
and B. Celestia is not gonna fall for the same trap twice. Not to mention Chrysalis only amaged to overpower celestia because celestia didn't know of the power up Chrysalis had.And that only happened because chrysalis herself didn't know.
The story is going better than i originally thought it would, but it is highly unlikely he is going to have any sucess here. He was doomed the moment he committed to this.
6301629
True, but he was never planning to fight Celestia. His goal is to find her while she's asleep or otherwise distracted and attack with the element of surprise. Announcing his intention by waking her up or giving a speech like Chrysalis did wouldn't make much sense.
A better question would be, would his attack have any effect? We don't have much canon to go on regarding Celestia's toughness to bladed weapons or other physical damage. Celestia and Luna got hurt in the Reflections arc of the comics when the Mane 6 fought their Mirrorverse counterparts, but that's all I know of. But the main character here is a drone, and his options are fairly limited if he wants to fulfill his mission.
Thank you for giving the story a shot and reading this far.
6301678 i highly doubt he would make it far either way. even while celestia slumbered luna would be around.
celestia did take a full on blast by a stone piercing magic laser to the chest and got back up.
ooohhh... I sense potential heartache in this mares future after reading that. not gonna lie I kinda how Dawn don't kill dear old Tia.
6302586
It's certainly not a simple situation for either of them.
........ ponies are stronger than changelings. period. that is why they are reliant upon secrecy.
moment they attack they have lost all of their advantages. it was sheer luck theri invasion did nayhting.
so the idea he has managed to kill ponies kinda does not play out with the fact changelings were utterly overpowered by six untrained combatants.
6305078
That really isn't the case here:
There are plenty of examples in that video of changelings having the advantage over ponies, even after the initial shock of the attack. Average ponies were running for their lives. The military was overpowered. And the Mane 6 were dragged inside--without chains or cuffs or any measure of control--by an even 6 changelings.
Yes, the Mane 6 were able to defeat a large group of changelings. That's why I brought up in chapter 4, and again in the new chapter, that learning how to maintain a new form is taxing for a changeling. That group that landed in front of Twilight and the rest immediately took their forms. So I theorize they were fighting while distracted, which gave the Mane 6 the edge.
Immediately after that, the ponies didn't even put up a fight when another group of changelings moved in on them while untransformed.
6305078 Well, he was trained by Chrysalis personally, skill and technique can easy outmatch strength. And most of the Changelings during the invasion was most likely normal untrained drones, the entire invasion mostly relying on Chrysalis beating Celestia
6305216 that is simply conrivence dude. for starters, if it were so trying, why would they even try to take them in battle? that is simply trying to figure out an excuse to why the mane six had the advantage outside the concept that maybe the beigns reliant on deception are not as powerful as ponies in general.
and if the mane six only lost because of numbers, and because they got stuck in the doorwway between two groups of changelings thus limiting their movement, it is more than likely lots of changelings were puvlerized by the equestrian soldiers, just there were so many of them and celestia going down likely caused everypony to panic.
when your explanatio nstarts with "this is actually why they beat those changelings' then you've made a mistake.
6305277 you mean the creature that only won because of luck rather than skill?
and the truth is the mane six were no more trained than the changelings. yet still, they only lost because they got stuck in that doorway, and lost thier mobiltiy.
6305332
Because overconfidence is a thing.
Almost every changeling in that scene was smirking before the fight started. They figured they had the edge. Like Vegeta letting his enemies transform to their full power in Dragon Ball Z, only to get destroyed. Or, really, any villain that leaves a hero in a death trap rather than shooting them on sight. They figure they have their victory secured already. When they took the ponies seriously, they won.
There is no proof of this one way or another. All we know for sure is what was seen in the episode. And that is the changelings having the advantage.
That fight scene is canon. It happened, and all I can do is make sense of it. I can't argue that Obi-Wan Kenobi killed Darth Vader on the Death Star.
6305409 ....... shakes head. 'they were smiling so they weren't really trying at all' is not an explanation.
6305444
Body language is a fundamental form of communication.
And communicating what a character is feeling or doing at a point in time is a fundamental rule of storytelling.
6305444
Overconfidence breeds contempt, among whose children are sloth, sloppiness, and carelessness.
Chrysallis was overconfident and careless, the changelings were overconfident and sloppy because of an overwhelming numerical superiority, and that could breed sloth. The Changelings were playing with them half the time, in that first fight scene. Also, taking the forms of their enemies put them at a disadvantage, as once they do, they must slow their attack to make sure they get the right one, and those that are set upon seem to fight harder, but those not immediately at risk are slothful at going to their comrades' aid. At least, until it seems like the six might reach their objective. In step the higher order drones with more training to put order to the chaos. No more hiding in forms and playing tricks on the hapless, helpless ponies (and getting their butts handed to them for doing it)
Nowhere did Minds Eye say
I would suggest you stop trying to set up straw men to attack. I have matches.
6305336 Chrysalis had fed off of Shining Armor for a currently unknown amount of time, who know how much power she managed to store up, and besides, the battle between Celestia and Chrysalis was almost purely magical in nature (with the exception of the initiation of the battle where they clashed horns), so as far as I can tell, Dawnbreaker relies mainly on physical combat, and since we've never seen Chrysalis in a physical fight there is no telling how skilled she is in the art of combat and what she is able to teach.
Rainbow Dash is a black belt in karate, Applejack is strong as all heck (with experience in rodeos, herding and wrangling out of control farm animals), Twilight is a magical powerhouse (she lifted and Ursa Minor for hells sake!), Pinkie is armed with the Party Cannon and she's probably impossible to hit to booth.The only one I have no explanation for is Rarity, but it wouldn't surprise me if she has had some self-defense courses. And Fluttershy didn't fight at all.
Pretty sure this makes them more trained than the average Changeling drone. Only reason they lost is because of the sheer number of of adversaries
WOW! I like where this is going.
6305558
Thanks! I hope the rest doesn't disappoint.
Good stuff man keep it up.
6305567
You know, I'm interested to read this just because lordofmyth is bagging on it.
I think he has something against changelings in general, because he also came onto my story, and has been bagging on it ever since. He also more or less tried to argue the exact same point, in ch.33 of ( my story )
The points you made are just fine, so don't worry about him at all. He's only out to criticize, and be disappointed...
Anyway, How bout i read this interesting piece of fiction and give my thoughts on it!
... after i read it ofcourse.
6307298
Sounds good to me.
6305567 Don't worry, you'd have to try to disappoint me. I look forward to the next chapter.
6307298 Considering you guys are both using the concept of 'oh they only won because of a conicidence' you really don' have much weight here.
rather than working around the fact that changelings have a disadvantage over ponies, which makes sense considering their powers of disguise and such, you guys both chose the idea of 'oh i'll just make the mane six overpowering them a fluke' and it raises a lot of question. the kind that distract from the story.
fact this story apparently had him knock out an earth pony in a single blow, when it was an earth pony that seemed to do the most damage to his kind outside of twilight, is yet another issue.
This story deserves so much more views!
6307298 though for your information, changelings are one of my favorite concepts to pop up in mlp. so much potential with them.
my issue is that people constantly keep on brushing over things such as untrained mares overpowreing dozens of em by themselves, and even that the source of chryalis victory was, ultimately, a fluke born of chrysalis ignorance. admitably the chrysalis one is the larger constant.
put simply rather than taking that into account the changeling's disadvantage, they make up rasons why they were beaten to begin with. for you its that they did not fight real warrior. with this guy, its that for some reason they bothered to use their disguise magic in active battle or that they were arrogant because they were smiling like lunatics or something.
basically it ends up a contest between presumption and what was scene. be easier to say that the changelings had numbers on their side to try and offset their lack of power. guards had to protect civlians and themselves. the mane six only themselves and with only a part of the swarm after them. not to mention its likely they were in chaos with celestia going down so suddenly. still dozens of changelings were fater them, and were overpowered.
6308887
I disagree.
If he knocked out an earth pony in one hit, that was quite the heavy blow.
So much weight!
Indeed, they do have disadvantages. Like superior numbers. A survival instinct drilled into them by generations of scratching a living off rocks.
And fangs. Dear Celestia, what cruel hand of fate would give a species fangs?! They're so useless!
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Just making sure we're all on the same page.
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Thank you!
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6308910
So... you're saying that by offering explanation for why mares--who were not untrained--beat a mob of changelings, we are brushing over it? By acknowledging it happened, we are ignoring it?
And... making up reasons the changelings were beaten somehow doesn't qualify as a disadvantage to the changelings?
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6308920 they cannot manipulate the weather, do not have stone crushing strength, and their magic is ill practiced and reliant upon feeding on others energy to sustain it.
fangs become pretty damn usless when you either can't get to the target or if you do, they will do a lot more harm to you before you can to them.
so yeah, they are at the disadvantage here. their abilities are solely shapeshifting and limited magic, and have fangs that are probably universally useless if they are smashed out of their heads.
albeit what i can say for this story over that other guys is that this one has a fairly straightforward story, albeit concepts such as knocking out something that could crush him in a single blow have kinda gotten in the way.
other guy has a major issue with pacing, and has difficulty handling characterization. so its not really the same argument here.
Mind's Eye, I'm super impressed that you've managed to post a new chapter every day. Definitely gives me something to look forward to after work. Are you writing this on the fly, or did you already write the story in advance?
And man, sure doesn't look like a happy ending is on the horizon.
6309292
I wrote it in advance. The one time I tried writing a long story like this and posted it before it was finished, I ended up cancelling it. I didn't want to risk that happening to this one.
Glad you're enjoying it.
Cherry won't stop hoping, though.
Some intense fighting!
I wonder how Dawn could possibly help cherry out of this mess, except fleeing to Pony-Argentina with her