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Rainbow Dash has given Scootaloo the idea to skip school. However, Scootaloo is about to find out this is the worst mistake of her life when her mother takes away the one thing she cares for more than anything else.
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FIRST comment and so far I like it
Not bad so far, I'm glad that you got RylanKrios to serve as an editior and proofreader. His credibility goes a long way towards Scootaloo fics.
All in all, this seems like a good start. I'll follow this and see where it goes.
This sort of stuff is giving me an idea to do a bonus chapter for "Act The Foal, Become The Foal". If you want to know more details, PM me so we don't clutter up the comment section.
Who actually studies one day before the test?
You should already know everything before that day before the test.
That day should be the "repeat everything day", no day for studying..
Besides that, who skips when there is a test?
That's the worst day to skip school, and I know that since I accidentally did..
So yeah, bye?
Ps:Nice story so far, definitely gonna keep my eye on it.
Matt11: Bonus editing. Captalize mistake in your title and your long description should read:Rainbow Dash has given Scootaloo the idea to skip school. However, Scootaloo is about to find out this is the worst mistake of her life when her mother takes away the one thing she cares for more than anything else.
6366161 That's a nice compliment but for better or worse this is not my fic. I try to catch technical mistakes and I'll make suggestions but I try not to impose my will (though occasionally I might get really intransigent about a point). If you like it then credit goes to Matt11 and if you dislike it it's his fault as well.
6366410 I'm aware of that, but to my knowledge you have yet to be associated with a bad Scootaloo fic. Knowing that you were consulted helps me confident that the writer wants to make sure they have a proper Scootaloo story.
6366284 Ah I remember the days I had school if it was math I would sit there and do nothing or put random numbers down because I sucked at math, and still do, and tests were a big problem with me I could never figure out how to write it, shame I wasn't to smart in school.
6366284 I've never really had to study in the first place, as a) I paid attention in class and remembered everything from the lectures(Taking notes is for people without perfect memory), and b) Multiple choice tests are basically just Verbal Intelligence exams anyway and I'm so Very Superior at that. I barely managed to squeeze through Pre-Calc after missing half of the classes(First thing in the morning and I was too asleep to get there on time), but Calculus came up and I just noped right on out.
Wow:
I added this story to my tracking literally seconds before you posted the second chapter. That's the first time this has ever happened to me.
6368295 LOL that's awesome.
I think Rainbow Dash needs to learn a lesson in responsibility. That being said, I think this idea would've worked better if Scootaloo came to the conclusion to skip school on her own, rather than have it be planted in her head by Rainbow Dash.
6368318 If I had Scootaloo come up with the idea first, I prob wouldn't of been able to have Dizzy say what she said. speaking of which do you thank Dizzy did the right thing?
6368329 I think she may have overreacted a little bit, but I think she was justified. Rainbow Dash needs to prove to Dizzy Twister that she can be trusted, and I'd be pretty mad if my child had a role model that encouraged her to ditch school. Even if schools in America are way too concerned with test scores, nothing good ever comes from ditching it.
6368312 Yes it is.
And now that I've read this chapter, I can already tell that it'll be the kind of Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash story that the show is still missing.
6368335 I have one idea as to how she can gain trust again, protecting her young sister from Timberwolfs that being said the next few Chapters as soon as I type them will be about mostly how the characters feel during this time, What will Dash do first? what will Dizzy Do with Scootaloo once they get home? and how much will Dizzy change to make sure scootaloo is safe? these are the 3 things I'm going to focus on.
his? you said mare not stallion.
great story!
6368352 you know that thing I said about not imposing my will on the story...apparently I lied. I refuse to let you have a timberwolf attack be the reason dizzy trust RD You have a potentially great story here, don't cheapen character development for an easy way out.
Imagine what effect this has on Rainbow Dash here. For a pony who embodies Loyalty, being considered untrustworthy must be a powerful blow.
6368428 Very well, I'll just have to have something like RD and Dizzy talking with one another get to know one another better and see if within time she begins to trust her.
6366284
"Who actually studies one day before the test?"
Hoho, boy, you'd be surprised.
There's a bunch of idiots in this world that like doing things the hard way for some reason. I for one was always the lazy kid that never paid any attention in class and then just studied like crazy at the last second. Pretty much went through the entire school with the bare minimum scores and doing things at the last second.
Or even better, there were some years on which that process was extended through the whole freaking school year rather than just for a single test. I did absolutely nothing and all my grades were shit and was well on my way to failing the school year... Until the final exams came where I aced everything out of sheer willpower and it was just enough to make my grades go from absolute shit to barely acceptable. Do nothing for a year and then make yourself explode with stress and effort at the last second was basically my philosophy.
Those were the days.
The only downside is that this strategy works like crap at a freaking University, whoops.
Scootaloo's being a bit too harsh on her mom, considering the circumstances.
6405728 Yeah but She just wants to see RD again, but we will see what happens in the next chapter,
6405763 I did like the idea that Dizzy Twister and Rainbow Dash used to be friends. I think maybe the two of them should try to see if it's not too late to mend the fence. It worked for Twilight and Moondancer, maybe it could work with them.
6405835 Yes but I got a Promt to write tomorrow so I'll get to chapter 4 when I get time, and I want to finish this fic before the 28th, on the 28th I'm getting Metal gear solid V and new headphones so I'll be extremely busy.
you better should listen to your mother scoots, although rainbow dash face danger but she can still get hurt. Just dont risk it first
Awkward construction here.
Amazing please do continue
Scoots is being told to her mumm no but seriously I understand where she is coming from, she thinks scootaloo idolizes dash so much she will do exactly what dash did such as drop out of school for no reason, but dizzy is being a tad over protective she is right to worry but take the mare who scootaloo idolizes away is going to far...
PS I hate ending comments in a dark tone so DROP IT LIKE ITS HOT
6405835 I actually almost added a part were Dizzy made Scootaloo sleep with her but felt werid so I removed it.
6407538 Yeah, in that sort of context it would've felt weird.
6407538
6407617 Agreed. I can't make you take things out....but I would have strongly suggested you reconsider. Thanks for making my job easier on that one.
I see nothing wroong with skipping school..
Well, maybe a whole schoolday.
But not like one school hour on highschool.
Not bad, but I feel like Scootaloo's reaction is a bit excessive. I could see her sneaking out of her room behind Dizzy Twister's back to hang out with Rainbow Dash, and Rainbow Dash sending her back home But Scootaloo wouldn't just up and say "I hate you!" and run away because she wouldn't be allowed to see Rainbow Dash.
6528774 Huh, I thought it be a good time for her to release her anger and say something she obviously didn't mean.
6528847 I think that should've come later, like after she got caught disobeying Dizzy Twister's orders, and thus increasing the length and severity of her punishment.
Needs more commas.
At least she's not doing drugs
6528850 The next chapter will likely be the last for this story, after that, I need to ask my followers what I should work on next, I got a few ideas I just can't decide, Either an adoption fic (Staring DT) or a padded fic and I haven't done a padded one in like.... along time.
A bit of poor construction in places, and one or two capitalization errors. That, and you really need more commas. Don't be afraid of commas. Commas are your friend.
Story-wise, things are decent, but the syntax is a bit cringe-inducing. IIRC, you had an editor, but he could really be doing a better job here.
Not a bad conclusion, but I think this idea could've lasted for a couple more chapters and stretch out the story.
6610917 yeah he's not a great editor, he also doesn't see it as his job to fix all the syntax errors. Syntax is part of style and he thinks editors can only put their influence so much before they take ownership which is something a good editor shouldn't do, or so he thinks.
6611580 ...Wait, aren't you the editor? Is there any particular reason you were speaking in the third person there?
6611969 my sardonic sense of humor mostly
One problem-
This doesn't sound quite right here; you should probably use a semicolon or simplify the description. ("Once she arrived, she was unfazed to see Button Mash sitting at one of the plexiglass windows of another arcade game. Secretly, Scootaloo thought he was a brain-dead zombie when immersed in a game; the world around him seemingly hazed out into an expanse of nothing when he played.") Also...may I ask why Button Mash isn't at school? I mean, wouldn't Caring Heart take him home at some point? Myeh, this is a fun concept in any case!
I'm also partially tempted to believe that Rainbow Dash knew Scootaloo would try to skip anyway and set up a "safe spot" near her just so someone would have some idea of where Scoots was. Good job!
It felt like there was a sudden time skip. But I don't know if it was one.