Home is Where Your Curse is

by SFaccountant

Meeting Again, For the First Time

Home is Where Your Curse is

a My Little Pony/Ranma 0.5 crossover fanfiction

by SFaccountant

Chapter 8

Meeting Again, for the First Time

---

Princess Celestia frowned delicately as she stared at the empty seat across the dining room table.

It was breakfast time in Canterlot Castle, and normally the best time of the day for Celestia to converse with her younger sister about affairs of state or just make small talk. Barring those unusual incidents and appointments which prompted Luna to stay up during the day, the Lunar Princess obviously spent most of the daylight sleeping, with but a few hours before dusk and after dawn to mingle with those whom didn't consider themselves nocturnal. Ostensibly this meant that they could meet during the evening, when Celestia had supper, but in practice the white Princess either took her dinner in her office, while working, or was otherwise too tired or distracted by the day's events to enjoy a simple conversation with her sister. Luna's Night Court never seemed to inflict the same toll on the dark Princess, so breakfast had become the habitual time for sisterly bonding and discussions between the diarchs.

But now Luna had been absent for the second morning in a row, confined to her quarters with an apologetic message that she could not attend her usual morning rituals. Celestia was rather put out and slightly worried, but could offer no serious complaint so long as the moon rose and fell on schedule. Really, she wouldn't be so concerned if she at least had a specific reason, but Luna had only offered some vague mention of "Lunar Guard business".

I suppose it's good that she's helping deal with Blood Rite. The faster we can put this little "rebellion" to rest, the better, Celestia thought to herself. Even that much made her queasy, however. She fervently hoped that Rite would be contained, subdued, and transferred to Canterlot by ordinary guards or soldiers before Luna could confront him. Celestia was uncomfortably familiar with her little sister's fury, although she wasn't sure that Luna sought revenge against Rite. There really was no telling what Luna would do if she got a hold of the sorcerer before he was properly sentenced and imprisoned.

"Breakfast for one today, hm?" Celestia's mustachioed assistant Kibitz strolled into the dining hall, a rolled-up newspaper hovering above him. A line of pony maids followed, each of them bearing a portion of Celestia's meal upon a silver dish.

"Luna has been very busy, lately. I'm sure she's taking her breakfast in her room," Celestia said, levitating a cup of steaming tea to her muzzle. "Or her supper, rather."

"Of course. Dark times, these," Kibitz mused while unfurling the newspaper and looking at the headlines. The other ponies started laying out the food, placing the platters down and then offering the Princess a humble bow before heading back out of the room. "It seems that the press has jumped on the story of Princess Luna's encounter, as expected." He tilted his head respectfully and then laid the newspaper down next to Celestia's plate.

As the Princess of the Sun sipped her tea and levitated other components of her breakfast over to her plate, her eyes scanned over to the newspaper headline. "Princess Luna Attacked!" and "Conspiracy Against the Throne!" were printed at the top, and clusters of opinion pieces and interviews filled the page below (and presumably the bulk of the paper's content). At the bottom were a collection of three pictures, featuring a scowling Blood Rite, a smirking Swan Song, and...

Celestia suddenly spat out her tea, spraying it across the greater part of the long dining table. Kibitz recoiled, startled, and then he watched all of the food surrounded by Celestia's golden aura drop onto the table at once, freed from her magic. "P-Princess?! What's the matter?"

Celestia lifted the paper right up in front of her, and her eyes narrowed. "... Havoc? The third pony's name is 'Havoc'?" She asked incredulously. Celestia knew the image of the third 'conspirator'. Last she'd seen, it decorated an uncomfortably large portion of her sister's bed chambers. "What is going on here?"

Kibitz stuttered uselessly, having no coherent answer to that question. "Is s-something amiss, Princess? I d-don't understand."

Celestia ignored him, opening the paper. Her eyes flashed back and forth as she read the associated article, her confusion only growing the more details she read. "He attacked a mayor? Lit an inn on fire? Conspires with violent unicorns? Wiped out a town's guard unit? TRIED TO ASSASSINATE PRINCESS LUNA?! What is this?! Luna said he was the one who saved her!"

"Uh... well, most of those accusations don't necessarily preclude him from saving her, do they? And even the assassination one could have taken place at a different time from the rescue, I suppose." Kibitz pointed out. Celestia gave him a disapproving look. "I can't possibly judge whether any of the things they're saying are true, of course, but in fairness to the journalists, Princess Luna was not available for interview. It seems every other pony they were able to find who'd met the stallion thinks he's quite the troublemaker. "

Celestia frowned, and then stood up from her seat. "Excuse me, Kibitz. I think my sister needs to see this immediately."

Celestia read the better part of the morning newspaper on the walk to her sister's chambers, scrutinizing the claims and accounts in detail. The parts regarding Blood Rite and Swan Song were - as far as she knew - completely accurate, mostly because the information had come from her in the first place. There were a few interviews with former classmates of Swan Song, and those pieces didn't reveal anything contradictory or surprising about the mare. There were - as she had hoped and expected - no interviews with ponies who knew Blood Rite when he was a student.

As far as this "Havoc" pony was concerned, though, speculation was running wild. Some editorials placed him as a warrior mercenary terrorizing rural villages for simple profit. Others claimed he was another accomplice; some sort of super-equine minion created by the sorcerers to help them in their struggle against the throne. Some placed him as the ringleader of the rebellion, gathering up disillusioned unicorns from Canterlot's finest institutions on a mad quest to tear the system down.

Granted, Celestia didn't know a thing about Havoc herself except that he had saved Luna from Rite. That gave the stallion a great deal of credit in her mind, but didn't necessarily make him a paragon of heroic virtue.

Still, she found the outlandish nature of some of the accounts bordering on the hysterical. She didn't care if the claim came from a city guard and a dozen witnesses; did anypony seriously expect her to believe that an earth pony blasted a unit of guards with a draconic breath weapon? Silly.

She finally reached Luna's room and sharply rapped on the door.

"Luna! It's Celestia! May I come in?" Princess Celestia bellowed.

There was a brief pause, and then Luna's voice came from the other side of the door. "Please, leave me! I cannot be disturbed!"

"Luna, this is serious! It involves the pony that rescued you when you were attacked!" Celestia pressed. "Read the papers! They appear to think he's some sort of criminal, if not a rebel assassin himself!"

Another pause, and then Luna's voice came again. "If this absolutely cannot wait, you must take the matter to Star Lancer, of the Night Court. I really cannot attend to you! Forgive me!"

Celestia's brow furrowed. "What? Luna, it's me! Celestia! I'm fairly certain Star Lancer can't help with this! Are you listening to me?"

"Please, leave me! I cannot be disturbed!" came another plea from beyond the door, in the exact same tone as before.

Celestia's eyes narrowed, and her horn flashed. She disappeared in a blaze of golden light, and then reappeared within Luna's bedroom.

She glanced about at the interior of the room, noting that there were still paintings of Havoc mounted upon the wall. Her gaze shifted to Luna's bed.

Tiberius squeaked in surprise, staring up at the white alicorn. Sitting behind the possum was a small device with a speaker and several buttons. Luna was nowhere to be seen, although a stack of dirty dishes suggested that her pet had been making sure her meals hadn't gone to waste.

Tiberius turned and quickly pressed a button on the machine behind him.

"I see you have found out the truth, then," said Luna's voice from the voice recorder. "I'm sure you are surprised, but be assured that there is a good reason for this."

"REALLY," Celestia drawled, staring at Tiberius.

"I have departed the castle in secret, and the security of the Equestrian state requires that my absence remain unknown to all! Particularly Princess Celestia. SERIOUSLY, do not inform Sister under any circumstances!"

Celestia's eyes narrowed. Tiberius shrugged helplessly.

"Please rest assured that should you endure censure for maintaining my secret, I will see to it you are granted full legal pardon so long as Sister remains unaware of my departure. Thank you, citizen, and farewell!"

Celestia started quivering in agitation, but after a few seconds she calmed down and released a deep sigh.

"So she's left, has she? To do what, exactly? To hunt down Blood Rite?" she mumbled aloud.

The white alicorn briefly locked eyes with Tiberius, but the possum simply squeaked unhelpfully.

"... No. She did not seem that interested in attacking him before," Celestia mused, "when I insisted that we leave the matter to the guards, she offered no protest. Luna would have tried to make an honest case for pursuing him personally before racing off after him in secret."

She looked down to the pictures in the newspaper floating at her side. Then she looked up at the large portrait of Havoc hanging behind Luna's bed. It featured the pigtailed stallion laying on his side, his rear legs coyly obscuring his groin while he gazed at the viewer with a smirking come-hither look.

A tiny sun suddenly blossomed to life above Celestia's head.

"Oh, for the love of me," the Sun Princess despaired, slapping a hoof against her face, "Luna is infatuated with this stallion?"

Tiberius crossed his arms and gave her a deadpan look, as if to say "Now what gave you that idea?"

"Blast! I can't believe I didn't notice until now! This is going to end badly," Celestia moaned, turning away and opening the door, "but I suppose it could be worse. She could be crossing paths with Rite and his lackey." She shuddered. "I dearly hope those two don't encounter each other again."

---

"At this point, I think we're going to have to count on interference from the Princesses."

Rite spoke solemnly as he stood across from Swan Song, the tips of his hooves pressed together. There was a bandage wrapping around his head, and he was wearing a thick, cotton-lined neck brace as a series of enchanted medicines worked at healing his battered cranium.

Swan chewed her lip anxiously. "But didn't we already misdirect them? Our lead should last a few days at least, right?"

"We can't count on that," Rite growled, "we've missed every opportunity to take care of this cleanly without harming anypony. Mostly because of you, but the time for pointing hooves is long past."

Rite's horn sparked ominously. "The Lunar Guard is on to us. They know where Calamity is, and now they know that we're hunting him. At least one of them escaped the battle to inform others. And that presumes that none of the others we knocked out will recover soon, or that there weren't other batponies who saw us and retreated rather than attacking. We're out of time." He banged a hoof against the table. "The next time we encounter Calamity will be our last attempt. No more exhaustively-planned ambushes for some interloper to ruin. No more falling back until the time is right. The next time we see Calamity, we offer our trade. If things don't work out, then we will kill him and take the Stone. No more hesitation."

Swan Song felt an excited tingle along her back as the sorcerer brooded aloud. Although she didn't want to hurt the stallion they were hunting - she was pretty sure all the attempted murder was going to make any future dates painfully awkward - attacking mighty heroes and demolishing them to seize ancient treasures was exactly the sort of evil sorcery action she had signed up for. So long as the pony Calamity stood between Rite and his goal of removing the Equestrian diarchy, he was their enemy, and ultimately that was more important than her feelings. Kind of.

"And what if Twilight Sparkle or Luna beats us to him?" the sorceress asked. Although her voice shook slightly at the prospect, her eyes gleamed with excitement. She couldn't deny that a part of her would LOVE to test her strength against an Equestrian Princess, even if she was likely to come up desperately short in the encounter. It was the stuff legendary villains dreamed of: to face the Element of Magic herself, face-to-face, and see how they stood up before her raw skill and power.

"... If we have no choice, then we have no choice," Rite growled, "I will take the MacGuffin Stone, or be buried outside Coltson in the attempt. If I have to face Twilight Sparkle or Princess Luna to do it, I will not back down, and I will not surrender. I would rather perish opposing the lofty alicorns of the royal order than rot in this tower bemoaning my fate after watching all my efforts come to naught."

As Swan let out a thrilled squeal, Rite's gaze softened. "Swan Song, obviously you haven't always been the most... reliable asset in my quest. But now that it's come to this I realize how lucky I am to have you. You've stood by me through great danger and - despite my attempt to relieve you of your duties the other day - I'm not at all certain I could have gotten this far without you. Still, I cannot possibly order you to accompany me on a mission that may so easily lead to our obliteration. I ask you, instead: Swan Song, will you help me take the MacGuffin Stone, even if it may cost our lives?"

"YES!" Swan shouted, practically burning with fierce determination. It was all she could do to stay in her seat. "We WILL demolish those useless royals, Mister Rite! Or die trying!"

"Thank you, Swan Song," the stallion said, his voice cracking slightly. "I have a few things left to prepare. We will leave in about two hours."

"Got it!" Swan Song saluted. "Oh, hey! You know how there are all those windows in Canterlot Castle depicting Twilight Sparkle and the other losers fighting evil and stuff? Do you think we'll be in one if we lose?"

"Uh... Well... not likely, no. We don't pose such an obvious or dramatic threat as Discord or Nightmare Moon did," Rite reasoned.

"What if we manage to kill at least one of them first? I'll bet we can take down Sparkle if we both concentrate on her! That's gotta be worth a window!"

"I... suppose?" Rite mumbled, feeling more than a little put off by the absolute glee being displayed by his assistant. "Anyway, putting aside the prospect of murdering a completely beneficent young mare for the sake of long-term ignominy in Canterlot's halls of power, our only real objective is the MacGuffin Stone."

"But we can kill her anyway, right? Like, if the opportunity comes up? Putting down a Princess would look GREAT on my resume." Swan tapped her front hooves together, grinning widely at her employer.

The stallion cringed. "... I have to go get ready. We'll see what happens when we get there."

"You got it! This is going to be AWESOME!"

---

Right. Left. Left. Sweep. Turn. Back kick. Flip. Turn. Left.

Ranma's body lashed through the air in a series of grayish blurs as he practiced his kata. The steps repeated themselves in his head to the exclusion of everything else. In this moment, in his mind, nothing else existed outside of the few square meters dedicated to his practice.

Turn. Back kick. Left. Flip. Damn it!

Ranma stumbled on his landing, forcing him to re-balance and miss the next attack. Were anyone observing him, the error would have been unnoticeable; it simply appeared as if he landed and then stopped his exercise while grimacing. To the martial artist, however, the dance had been brought to a screeching halt.

"Flips are a lot harder on four legs. At least from basic standing position. I have to modify the routine again."

His mind whirled with possibilities. Forms, movements, and poses flitted by, each one associated with a miniscule time frame and precise level of force. Ranma had already worked out the basic differences between pony and human anatomy as far as muscle control, balance, and directional acceleration were concerned, but had barely started adjusting his kata and movesets appropriately. There was no economy of movement in his strikes, and Ranma was positive that he wasn't making the best use of his new four-legged mobility, either.

"Man... it's like I have to learn to fight all over again," the martial artist sighed. Surely his opponents (and allies) would have disagreed, but Ranma knew better; his basic strength, speed, and dexterity had transferred to his pony body in full, and he had been using that to overwhelm the impressive monsters and distinctly unimpressive fighters in Equestria. Perhaps to some that would have been enough, but Ranma Saotome was far from content.

Trotting back over to the camp, Ranma found Trixie laying in front of a small stack of papers. A floating quill was hovering over one of them while the magician stared into a small cloth sack of gold coins with a bitter expression.

"I'm done with my kata. We can take off whenever you're ready," Ranma informed his employer.

Trixie mumbled a confirmation, still staring at the money in her bag.

"What're you doing? Paperwork?" Ranma asked.

"Budgeting." Trixie looked away from the bag of bits and toward a small silvery gem on her other side. After a moment, Ranma recognized it as the Lunar Lycanstone that the batpony had used the previous night. "Trixie isn't sure about the value of this moonstone. Besides never having heard of it before, Trixie feels like it wouldn't be a good idea to try hawking the Lunar Guard's magical weapons on the open market."

"Dang. So you can't sell the thing?" Ranma asked, frowning.

"Trixie didn't say that. Trixie said it wasn't a good idea to do it on the open market," the unicorn repeated, raising an eyebrow at the martial artist, "Trixie knows some ponies that deal in objects... not suitable for your average pawn shop."

"Ooh! Shady!" Ranma chuckled.

Trixie levitated the main sheet detailing her expenses up in front of her, obscuring the stallion from sight. "You have no room to talk, being a fugitive from the law. Not to mention you're the reason Trixie has to worry so much about money in the first place. Trixie hasn't put on a single successful show since Trixie met you, and - just in case Trixie hasn't mentioned this often enough - you eat way too much. Hmph."

A jingling noise suddenly came from in front of her, and Trixie lowered her budget paper.

Laying in front of her was a small brown sack almost overflowing with bits. She blinked owlishly, completely at a loss.

"That should help, right?" Ranma asked. "I mean, I'm pretty sure that as the boss, you're supposed to pay me, but I know I've been causing you problems recently. Plus there's that whole thing with your brooch. Will that cover it?"

"What is this?" Trixie asked, her voice carefully measured and neutral.

"It's... money. Y'know, bits?" Ranma frowned. "Isn't it?"

"Yes, Trixie can see that. Why do YOU have it?" Trixie's head snapped up, and her eyes narrowed at the stallion. "When Trixie found you lying under a bridge begging for food, Trixie was acting under the assumption that you had no money!"

"I didn't! I got this after you found me!"

"HOW?!" Trixie demanded.

"I took it from all the people I beat up."

Trixie's jaw dropped open, and her eyes bugged out.

Ranma was confused at first, but then mentally replayed that sentence in his head. "Wait, no! I don't mean, like, I went out mugging people or anything! I don't run around roughing people up for their money! I took this from all the guys who attacked ME!"

The unicorn kept staring at him in shock.

"What? If someone tries to kill you, you're allowed to take their stuff!" Ranma protested.

"Is that really a rule in human society?" Trixie asked, breaking her shocked silence.

"Sure. Well, I mean, it's not a law or anything. It's more like an unwritten rule. For when I'm traveling through an area and don't plan on coming back, ever." Ranma paused. "I mean, after some guy decides that murdering me is okay, who's going to complain if I root through their pockets? Or saddle pouches, in this case. I think it's pretty fair." Then he pointed at the silver jewel. "Besides, you do it too!"

"There's a difference between disarming an enemy and looting their comatose body!" Trixie insisted as her eye twitched. "So this means... you robbed Mayor Hawke?"

"And a couple of the thugs that were working for her. Not that any of them had much. She must be pretty cheap despite all the fancy furniture and stuff."

"And... those musicians in Saddlebrook?"

"I found most of the cash in their instrument cart. I think it was from all those tickets they said they already sold."

"The... The Saddlebrook guards?"

Ranma shook his head rapidly. "Whoa, no! No way! Those guys were police! Or, I guess, the pony version of police. I wasn't going to take their pocket change."

Trixie breathed a sigh of relief.

"Especially not with all those other ponies watching. I had to get out of there pretty fast."

Trixie suppressed a distressed groan. "What about the Lunar Guard from last night?"

"She had a few coins in the broken pieces of armor, but that's it." Then Ranma smirked and pressed a hoof to his chest. "The one that Song blasted had more cash, but since he didn't attack me, I left it with him. See? I follow the rules!"

"The rules that apparently let you steal from soldiers of Equestria?" Trixie asked tightly. "What exactly is the difference between the batpony in the woods and the guards in the town?"

"The guards in the town tried to arrest me. The bat thing in the woods tried to eat me," Ranma answered.

"Gah! This is unbelievable!" Trixie groaned, throwing her forelegs up into the air. "Trixie's traveling companion is a bona fide criminal!"

Trixie's horn lit up as she complained, and the sack of bits Ranma had provided slid over next to her smaller money bag under a bubble of glittering pink. Trixie paused to weigh the two bags with her magic, estimating the difference.

"Bad enough that you were accused of crimes you didn't commit! Bad enough you're also accused of crimes you DID commit, but are generally defensible!"

Trixie's budget paper rose into the air again, and her ink quill quickly scratched some new figures onto it as she bemoaned her fate.

"Now Trixie finds out you've been actually looting the trail of unconscious bodies in your wake! Even if Trixie maintains plausible deniability, do you have any idea how suspicious this will look if and when you're finally cornered by Equestria's peacekeepers? Trixie's reputation will be in tatters!"

The two sacks of coins flew up into the wagon on arcs of pink magic, and Trixie's lips twitched into an almost-smile as she finished modifying her cash flow numbers.

"And just think! If you're arrested and the guards think Trixie is responsible for you, they may seek to recover the money from Trixie! Did you even think about that? You are SO inconsiderate!"

Trixie magically lifted the rest of the scattered items into her wagon, and then jumped in after them. Despite her maintaining the same indignant tone of voice, her expression was undeniably cheerful while she settled into her usual place.

Ranma stared up at the unicorn uncertainly after she finally completed her lecture. "Uh... So... are you saying... I should stop taking money from my defeated enemies?"

"Trixie isn't going to get all self-righteous about this. Trixie is your employer, not your mother," the magician explained before briefly coughing into her hoof, "but obviously your getting caught would severely inconvenience Trixie, so keep that in mind."

"Oh, sure. No problem," Ranma rolled his eyes before hitching himself up to the wagon again, "we wouldn't want my unjust capture and imprisonment to trouble Trixie, now would we?"

"PARTIALLY unjust capture and POSSIBLE imprisonment," Trixie corrected, "Trixie is sure you'd get a perfectly fair trial. And then you'd probably be thrown in a dungeon forever, because your legal defense amounts to 'well, they started it'."

Ranma sighed and started pulling the wagon back to the road. "At least you guys have courts and stuff. After hearing about how you get your Mayors I didn't know what to expect."

"Oh? And how do you humans get your government officials?" Trixie asked curiously.

"We vote for them."

"What's 'vote'?"

Ranma frowned. "Well... it's like... a points system, I guess? Everyone gets to say who they think should be in charge, and that's worth a point each, and then the person with the most points wins." He had a feeling he was leaving out a lot of important details, but civics was hardly one of Ranma's strong suits.

"That sounds rather useless," Trixie opined, "wouldn't you just make the most important human the leader anyway? You may as well skip all that points-counting nonsense."

"I... guess? But how do you know who the most important guy is unless you vote on it?" Ranma wondered.

"That would be the one that raises and lowers the sun every day," Trixie said with a snicker, "this isn't hard, Ranma."

"......... Raises what, now?"

---

Nearly two hours later, after a long lesson on the basics of astronomy and its relation to the Equestrian political order, Ranma was finally coming to terms with the nation of Equestria and the special place it had in the daily functioning of the planet and the lives of all the creatures living on its world.

Which is to say, he hadn't come to terms with it at all, because it was ridiculous.

"No. No way. You've gotta be making this up."

Trixie yawned and nestled deeper into the blankets atop her travel wagon. "Well, if there was any doubt in Trixie's mind that you're actually from another planet, this lays it to rest. Trixie is really surprised you didn't know about this."

"No! Nuh-uh!" Ranma shook his head even as he kept a steady pace down the road. "This isn't some pony planet thing that I just didn't know about. I hardly took any science classes back on Earth and even I know that the sun doesn't revolve around the planet! That doesn't make sense!"

"Well, of course," Trixie scoffed, "it doesn't just circle around us on its own or anything. Princess Celestia has to magically move it across the sky."

"That... It... But..." Ranma stammered, wincing. "No! That's even more wrong! You can't move a freaking SUN!"

"Trixie is, obviously, a foremost expert in the field of magic," the unicorn scoffed, "but even Trixie would hesitate to estimate Princess Celestia's magical limitations, especially regarding a spell she does every single day."

"Okay that's another thing: your country is run by a Princess? Why a Princess?" Ranma asked as his brow furrowed. "Why not a queen or a king?"

"Because kings and queens are evil, obviously," Trixie answered.

Ranma completely failed to come up with any objection to that. His mouth simply hung open as he carried Trixie and her things down the road, unable to put together a complete sentence.

"Okay, Trixie thinks Coltson is just up ahead," Trixie stood up and squinted her eyes, spotting some rooftops over the trees, "Trixie suggests you switch bodies soon; Trixie would really like to actually complete a show before being run out of town this time."

"Yeah, in a minute," Ranma replied, shaking his head wearily, "there's someone headed in the opposite direction. I'll change after they pass."

Trixie spotted the individuals a moment later: two unicorn mares wearing heavy saddlebags, with some sort of small purple creature riding on the smaller of the two. The pair seemed to stammer to a halt upon seeing them, for some reason.

Although the magician dismissed the unicorns almost immediately, Ranma suddenly began to slow down.

"Wait, is that... no way!"

Luna and Twilight stumbled to a halt when they spotted the gray pony on the road. Luna's surprise rapidly shifted into jubilation, and she was barely able to suppress an excited whinny. Twilight's joy was more subdued... and vanished completely when she noticed what - and who - Ranma was towing.

"Wait, is that... no way!" the young Princess shouted. "Trixie?!" Spike blanched, and then pulled himself up higher over Twilight's head.

Ranma suddenly unhooked himself from the wagon he was towing, and then he began galloping toward the pair of unicorns.

Luna stepped forward hesitantly. She was about ready to break into a sprint to meet the stallion when she remembered that she was still in disguise. And yet, her savior was charging right toward her, grinning happily! Could it be that he had identified her despite the magical glamour? Was the connection between them already so powerful that mere illusions were of no use? The very thought nearly set her heart alight within her breast.

Which made it all the more discouraging when Ranma raced right past her and skidded to a stop in front of Twilight.

"Spike! Is that you?" Ranma said brightly, his eyes locked on the young dragon standing on an unfamiliar unicorn's back. "I thought you lived in Ponyville in the tree place! What're you doing here?"

Spike, for his part, was as surprised as anypony. Granted, he was the only one of the individuals here who wasn't traveling in disguise, but he simply wasn't used to being the one acknowledged above the Princesses around him.

"H-Hey! Dude! You... uh... okay?" Spike asked awkwardly. "Last I saw you, you were being flung into the sky in a tornado."

"Oh, sure. No big deal. Did that dragon-mom cause any more trouble after I left?"

"No, not really. I mean, she fell on AJ's barn, but y'know. Whatever."

Twilight suddenly cleared her throat loudly. Ranma glanced down at her eyes, then tilted his gaze back up to Spike. "Who's your friend? I thought you worked for that nerd chick in Ponyville."

Twilight's eyes narrowed, and Spike winced.

"That 'nerd chick'? Would you happen to be talking about Princess Twilight Sparkle?" Twilight drawled, emphasizing her title.

"Yeah, that's her! Sparks!" Ranma asked, looking back and forth. "She around? Or are you freelancing now?"

Twilight's wings suddenly burst from her back, and the magical shell of light that had obscured her real body shattered. Motes of crackling blue energy exploded off of her and then flickered into nothingness, revealing a distinctly nonplussed purple alicorn.

Ranma blink-blinked. Then he grinned. "Hi, Sparks!"

Trixie, who had been left in the road without explanation, climbed down from her wagon while grumbling under her breath about random travelers holding them up for no reason. Her grumbling and her approach stopped short when Twilight revealed herself, and Trixie's eyes went wide.

Droplets of sweat started rolling down from under Trixie's hat. This was not good. Putting aside the fact that Twilight Sparkle was the personal student and adventurer-agent of Princess Celestia - the most powerful pony in the world and the pinnacle of Equestrian state authority - Trixie herself wasn't all that keen on chatting with the newly ascended alicorn after their last encounter. She hadn't exactly parted with Twilight on hostile terms, but there were few other ponies with such a personal knowledge of Trixie's past misdeeds.

And then, of course, there was the fact that Trixie was traveling with a wanted criminal.

Twilight took a deep, calming breath. "Hello, Saotome. It's nice to see you're somehow still in one piece."

"Ha! No problem! I told you I could handle that big lizard thing!" Ranma laughed.

"Your last words before you were carried up into the sky, screaming, by your own tornado were, and I quote, 'this is not part of the technique'," Twilight reminded him dryly.

Ranma laughed some more. "Ha! Yeah, that was crazy! Anyway, enough about me, what're you guys doing out here?"

Twilight sighed, her wings folding up again on her back. "We've been looking for you. Although it's mainly thanks to her that we actually found you." She pointed a hoof past Ranma. Ranma turned to look.

Luna had been waiting with nervous patience behind Ranma, and as soon as he noticed her she broke into a grin and let her own wings break free. Just like with Twilight, her form exploded into a burst of magical sparks, revealing the true colors and form of the immortal alicorn beneath the façade. Luna's transformation was all the more grand, however, as her wings spread more elegantly and her dark, flowing mane spilled out over her body.

Trixie could swear her heart stopped as she beheld a second Princess reveal herself just ahead of her. Twilight showing up was bad enough, but at least the younger alicorn was generally reasonable and a known acquaintance. Trixie hardly knew anything about Princess Luna aside from common knowledge, and one such common tidbit was that Luna used to be a vicious megalomaniac.

What could the Princess of the Night be doing here? Trixie could only think of one reason for her to be escorting Twilight while searching for Ranma: The newer Princess knew how dangerous Ranma could be and decided she needed heavy magical backup to arrest him.

Trixie glanced over to the wagon harness, wondering how far away she could get when the Princesses began their attack. All she could hope for was that Ranma wouldn't do anything to agitate the Princesses and force them to resort to violence.

Ranma rubbed at his chin with a hoof as he looked Luna over, noting both her combination of wings and a horn and her magical starlit mane.

Then he turned back to Twilight. "So, what did you want me for? If this is about the posters, I was totally framed for that."

Ranma was quite gratified to see Twilight totally perplexed at the mention of posters.

"Posters? Framed? What are you talking about? What happened?" the purple mare asked.

Before Ranma could answer, Luna stepped forward and interrupted. "Wait! Saotome! Do you not remember me?"

Ranma swiveled his head around and took another long look at the dark blue alicorn.

"No." Then he turned around completely, facing back toward the wagon. "Hey, Trix! C'mere! This is the geek from Ponyville I was telling you about! I'll introduce you!" Much to Ranma's confusion, Trixie bristled and started backing away rather than coming closer.

"We've already been introduced," Twilight said, her voice becoming frosty, "and although I'm very curious as to how you ended up hauling Trixie around like a pack mule, we have more important things to discuss."

"Oh? Like what?" the stallion asked, once again facing Twilight and Spike.

"Pardon me!" Luna shouted, barely keeping her tone below the supernatural spectrum. "I must insist upon your undivided attention, Saotome Ranma!"

Ranma gave Luna another sidelong glance. "Say, who's your friend, anyway?" he said to Twilight, jabbing a hoof in Luna's direction. "And what shampoo does she use? That hair is kind of cool."

"Okay, wait, you SERIOUSLY don't know who she is?" Spike asked. The aforementioned Princess flinched back, as if physically pained at hearing her suspicions laid bare.

"Nope, never met her. I'm kind of new here, remember?" Ranma drawled. "So what?"

Any remaining warmth in Luna's chest vanished, and she struggled to maintain a neutral expression as she stood before her savior. Not only did he not remember her from the time he had saved her life, but he didn't even know her general visage. Both prospects saddened her, although she couldn't rightly blame the stallion for either of them; the night of the rescue had been hectic and his departure sudden, and there were still many corners of Equestria that might not immediately recognize the younger of the two Royal Sisters.

"Allow me to introduce myself," Luna said, bowing her head and spreading her wings wide, "I am Luna, royal diarch of Equestria and Princess of the Night!"

Despite his earlier claims to ignorance, Ranma seemed to recognize this name. Luna would have found that a relief and reassurance, except that his recognition didn't come in the form of shock, embarrassment, or joy, but rather sudden rage.

"IT WAS YOU!!" Ranma shouted, shifting instantly into a combat stance.

Twilight recoiled and reared up in shock, accidentally spilling Spike onto the ground. Luna jumped back as well, her eyes wide as saucers.

"Celestia who is kind, benevolent, and merciful, please deliver this hapless soul from wickedness. Trixie first, obviously, and if you have any mercy left over, maybe the pigtailed dolt as well," Trixie mumbled to herself, her eyes squeezed shut and her front hooves pressed together, "forgive our sins, ignorance, and totally outrageous - although somewhat justified - aggression against your own. Ahmen."

"Wh-What is this? What is the matter?" Luna asked nervously, stepping back from the furious stallion.

"What's the matter? What's THE MATTER?! YOU FRAMED ME, YOU JERK!!" Ranma roared. "You told them I tried to assassinate you!" Twilight gasped in shock at the accusation.

It barely seemed possible for Luna's eyes to bulge any wider, and yet they did. "What?! Never! That's impossible!"

"Yeah, I know! I've never even met you!" Ranma snapped. "What the hell, lady?!"

"B-But you have!" Luna protested, stumbling upon her own words. "In the g-great forest, to the West! You ambushed the unicorns that had attacked me! You saved me from the MacGuffin Stone! Were it not for you, I would have been captured and used as a tool in their nefarious plot against Canterlot!"

Trixie's ear twitched, and she stopped praying.

Wait... that sounds like... Princess Luna was the pony Ranma rescued? And he didn't even realize it?

As phenomenally stupid as it seemed at first, Trixie had to admit that it made sense from Ranma's perspective. He apparently had never heard of Princess Celestia and didn't understand the relevance of the alicorn race, so rescuing Celestia's nocturnal little sister wouldn't have seemed remarkable to him. Ranma thought he was saving some random bystander, not the second most powerful equine in the world.

Of course, that begged the question of how Ranma came to be accused of attacking Luna when he had done the exact opposite.

"... Wait, that was you?!" Ranma took a step back hesitantly. "You're the pony that Rite and Song were trying to capture?" He was still rather angry, but the mare in front of him seemed genuinely surprised and upset at what he was telling her. Was it possible she wasn't involved as he had assumed?

"Indeed! And were it not for your timely intervention, they surely would have succeeded!" Luna said, trying desperately to keep her cool. This encounter wasn't going anything like she had hoped. "I never claimed you had harmed me! The idea is preposterous!"

Ranma seemed to calm himself from furious to merely aggrieved. "Okay, well, could you tell your goons that? Just last night we had bat-pony-things attacking me in the forest. Thanks to them those two unicorn jerks got away again!"

"Bat-pony-things?" Twilight asked. "You mean the Lunar Guard was hunting for you, not Rite?" She frowned. "That doesn't make any sense. The Lunar Guard only take orders from Canterlot, and specifically the Night Court. They shouldn't be searching for a specific pony without Princess Luna knowing about it."

Twilight, Ranma, and Spike all looked over at Luna. Luna stared straight forward, her eyes unfocused. In her head, several ideas were slowly shifting about and clicking into place to create an explanatory timeline of events.

She had told the Lunar Guard to search for Saotome Ranma, and even set up a bounty for his whereabouts. She hadn't even known his name at the time that she had dispatched his portrait and request for more information.

She had not told them why. The only pony that knew exactly what had happened and Saotome's exact role was Night Scythe, who was still in recovery and had been kept ignorant of the mission.

Every other member of the Lunar Guard knew only that Luna had been ambushed by rebels, and that they had been instructed to chase after Saotome Ranma immediately afterward.

In the absence of complete information, her soldiers had evidently come up with a completely false - although quite plausible - interpretation of events. They had also defied her orders, but that seemed almost incidental to the current situation.

Princess Luna gulped, nervously meeting Ranma's gaze again. "I... may have erred somewhat."

"So this IS your fault!" Ranma shouted, instantly jumping back to enraged.

At that moment, something inside Luna snapped.

The nocturnal Princess was already quite upset, having her envisioned reunion with her savior marred by his failure to recognize her as the mare he had rescued. Having him recognize her instead as somepony who had framed and persecuted him was a further slap in the face.

Largely justified, granted, but still painful. And that pain was swiftly turning to frustration and anger.

Who was this pony to speak to her this way? To level accusations and presumptions at an Equestrian Princess? Even the Elements of Harmony, mighty ponies who had faced her at her worst and personally suffered for her hubris, did not treat her with such callous disrespect!

Luna's posture shifted, her wings closing and her chest tilting forward. "That is quite enough, Saotome Ranma," she said dangerously.

"Okay, now let's all just calm down," Twilight said with a nervous chuckle, moving to stand between Luna and Ranma. "Nopony is here to start a fight, and there has to be a perfectly rational explana-"

A blue aura suddenly stopped the purple alicorn dead, and then Twilight was magically dragged back out of the way.

Princess Luna glared down at Ranma, her horn flickering with power. "Mister Ranma. It is true. I have erred, and may have inadvertently sent my Lunar Guard against you. I will correct this oversight."

"Awesome. You go do that," Ranma said blandly. He started walking around the Princess, heading back to the cart, but then Luna spread a wing to block his path.

"I am not done with you, yet," Luna hissed, "furthermore, when addressing your Princess, it would be wise to kneel as protocol demands, peasant."

Both Trixie and Twilight cringed simultaneously, recognizing this as the precise moment when the encounter was truly starting to head into dangerous territory.

Ranma paused for a moment, staring straight forward into Luna's wing. Then he started chuckling, lowering his head. "Say what? I'm not a peasant, and you're no Princess of mine."

Luna bristled, shifting so that she was directly in front of the stallion. "I concede that I have caused you unjust harm, Saotome, but I nonetheless demand the respect and courtesy as befits my station!" Her horn sparked again, and an arc of dark energy ran up its length.

Ranma finally shifted to look at her again, his sapphire eyes gleaming. "Lady, let me tell you where you can shove your-"

Then a purple hat flew into his face, wrapping around his muzzle. "Mmmh mnph!"

In an instant Trixie was in front of Ranma, her horn glowing furiously in order to restrict the stallion's jaw as much as possible. "Princess Luna! Hello! Fantastic to meet you! The Great and Powerful Trixie is greatly honored to make your acquaintance!"

Luna's glare transferred to Trixie with disturbing ease. Undeterred, Trixie bowed deeply. "Please excuse this lunkhead here. He's new to these parts. Total hick! Can't even read Equiish! It's embarrassing, really."

"Mmmph mmn hhmn!" Ranma mumbled, pointing a hoof toward Trixie.

"Not now, Ranma!" the magician snapped. To the surprise of everyone else, the stallion slumped over in defeat and fell silent, his face still wrapped up in Trixie's hat. "Anyway, what he was TRYING to say is that he's thankful to see you're safe! In addition, he SINCERELY apologizes for any inconvenience you or the Lunar Guard have suffered in this terrible misunderstanding!"

Ranma started to raise a hoof again, only for a pink aura to wrap around it and slam it back into the dirt. "Mmrgh..."

Luna glanced over to Ranma, then back to Trixie. "I do not believe your words accurately reflect his feelings," the dusky alicorn said flatly, "what is your relation to Mister Ranma?"

"Trixie is his employer," the unicorn said proudly, standing up straight again and adopting a pose more in keeping with her usual sense of self-worth. "The reasons are complicated and unimportant, but ultimately Trixie took this poor, helpless, and very stupid soul into Trixie's service to keep him out of trouble. Trixie still has difficulty with that, obviously, but Trixie does her best."

A muffled snort came from Ranma.

"Speaking of trouble!" Twilight suddenly interjected. She was very happy for Trixie's sudden intervention, and hoped to contribute to pulling the conversation further onto a safe track. "The Lunar Guard that apparently tracked you down said that Blood Rite and Swan Song had found you as well! What happened?"

Trixie emitted a quick sigh of relief. "Yes, well, Bloo-" then she jerked to attention. "Wait, Blood Rite? His first name is 'Blood'? Seriously?"

"Mmnrf mhhm mrmphmn mrffm," Ranma added.

"You said it. How this guy wasn't tossed right in a dungeon as soon as he was born is beyond Trixie."

Twilight suppressed a groan. "Yes, that's his name. Yes, it seems unusually villain-esque, even by the standards I'm used to. Do you have any idea as to his current whereabouts?"

"No, but if you want to find them you came to the right ponies," Trixie sniffed, "despite Ranma using their skulls as bongos every time they show up, Mister Evil Name and his lackey have been on our tails the last few days." She paused. "May Trixie presume that you know what they're after?"

"The MacGuffin Stone," Twilight said grimly. Spike snickered into his hands.

"Then you still have it?" Luna arched an eyebrow at Ranma, although with his face covered by Trixie's hat he couldn't have seen it.

"He does," Trixie confirmed, "despite their best efforts, the rebels were sent packing each time." She decided not to get into details about how one such raid had relieved her of the clasp to her cape; it was perfectly irrelevant to the current discussion, anyhow.

"Excellent. Then this trip has been worthwhile after all," Luna said, her voice wavering between solemnity and bitterness, "relinquish the MacGuffin Stone to us at once."

Trixie bowed her head again, and then finally allowed the pink aura around her hat - and by extension, Ranma's face - to fade. Her hat slipped onto the ground at his hooves.

"Ranma, give Princess Luna the gem," Trixie said with a proud smile. It had been a close call, but thanks to her quick wit and peerless charm, she had averted the absolute train wreck set into motion by her companion's unrestrained mouth and Luna's authoritative incompetence.

Ranma looked over at Luna, then Twilight, and then at Trixie. Then he leaned over and picked up Trixie's hat.

"No. I'm keeping the gem," Ranma said, "here's your hat, Trix."

"WHAT?!" Trixie yelped, jumping up in shock. Luna's eyes narrowed, and Twilight felt an uncomfortable shudder crawl down her back. "What the hay is wrong with you?!"

Ranma, for his part, raised an eyebrow. "You don't want your hat?"

"Of course Trixie wants her hat!" the magician barked, snatching it out of Ranma's teeth and settling it back onto her head with her magic. "Thank you!" She spent a moment to recall why she was yelling. "Why won't you give them the MacGuffin Stone?!"

"Because it's mine," Ranma said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

And, to be fair, none of the ponies had an immediate rebuttal. To the extent that anyone could lay claim to the ancient gemstone, the only owner more legitimate than Ranma was probably Blood Rite, and nopony was about to defend his possession of the jewel.

"Okay, well, yes, I suppose it IS yours, technically," Twilight gave a high-pitched laugh, her eyes darting between Ranma and Luna, "but it's a magic gem. You can't even use it!"

"Doesn't matter," the martial artist said, "this magic rock is the only reason that Rite and Swan keep coming to me. If I give it to you, then I'll probably never see them again."

"And that's... bad?" Twilight asked, completely perplexed.

Ranma snorted. "I have some unfinished business with them, that's all. Business that I might have been done with if it weren't for those bat guys getting in my way last night!" He stared meaningfully at Luna.

Luna matched his gaze in both lofty contempt and stubborn determination. "I'm afraid your claim to the MacGuffin Stone is irrelevant, Mister Ranma. I, as the Princess of the Night and Diarch of Equestria, formally decree that the MacGuffin Stone is to be relinquished to the Canterlot royal family at once! The safety and security of the Equestrian nation depends on it!"

Ranma laughed. He actually LAUGHED at her. Luna felt her blood boil while a haze of blue magic spread from her horn over her entire body. Trixie squeaked in fright, and her legs began trembling. Twilight began to sweat as her mind whirled.

"Look, 'Princess', I get that you're a big deal around here. Fine. But I'm a human being, not one of your horse people, and I don't have to do what you say," Ranma smirked up at the clearly enraged alicorn, "if you and Sparks want to hang around until Rite makes his next try for the rock, that's up to Trix, not me. But the MacGuffin is mine, not hers, and I'm not giving it to you."

Spike stood up on his toes to whisper into Twilight's ear. "Did we ever find out whether that thing about him not being a pony is true? I feel like we just kind of forgot about that."

"SSSH! Not now, Spike!" Twilight snapped. She was desperately trying to work out an argument that Ranma might accept to hand over the MacGuffin Stone, ideally before he demolished the last of Luna's restraint. She wasn't sure of the full range of emotions the elder Princess had brought into this confrontation, but they were very close to exploding by this point.

Luckily, Trixie was one step ahead of her, and also had a far more intimate knowledge of the stallion's character. She rushed up to Ranma and planted a hoof on his shoulder, pre-empting the furious tirade that Luna was preparing.

"All right, shut up and listen. Trixie understands your position, okay? Really, Trixie almost agrees with you!" she hissed, almost nose-to-nose with the martial artist. "But a threat to Equestria is serious! You can't just risk Trixie's life and that of all the other less interesting and attractive ponies in the country just so you can get another shot at catching Swan Song!"

Twilight fully expected Ranma to brush off the unicorn with the same casual disdain he had shown Luna, but to her shock the stallion seemed to shrink back uncertainly, his ears flipping down and his eyes shifting away to search the ground. Obviously he gave Trixie's plea far more weight than he gave Luna's command. A fact that was not lost on the Lunar Princess, as she was visibly grinding her teeth now.

"This is important, Ranma! You said yourself that the MacGuffin Stone could potentially destroy the entire world! The greater good demands that you surrender the MacGuffin to Equestria! Not for yourself, but for Trixie! Plus everypony else! Trixie knows she can count on you to do the right thing!"

Ranma's head shifted up again, his crystal blue eyes meeting her pink ones. "See... that's the thing, though."

Trixie blinked. "What?"

"I only know two things about Princess Luna, here. One, she lost to Rite and Song, and would have been a goner if I hadn't randomly showed up at just the right time. And two, AFTER I saved her she somehow accidentally made me Public Enemy Number One in Equestria. That bat-pony from last night? Even before she turned into a monster, she sounded like she was angrier at me than the unicorns that had nearly killed her." He took a deep breath, raising his head high. "So, really, I can't seriously trust her or her government with a MacGuffin that could destroy the world. These are the same guys who let evil griffons run their towns and can't stop bandits and sorcerers from ambushing travelers on their main trading roads. Giving it to them would just be irresponsible. I'm pretty sure Rite will get the gem back as soon as I give it up."

There was a long, silent pause. Ranma squirmed uncomfortably under Trixie's gaze, but forced himself to keep eye contact.

Then Trixie turned around.

"Well, Trixie gave it her best shot. You're up, Sparkle," the magician sighed, walking past the purple alicorn.

Twilight began stuttering in surprise. She didn't actually manage to form a sentence, however, before a frustrated growl came from the larger of the Princesses.

"ENOUGH!!" Luna boomed, literally pushing Ranma back with the force of her shout. "I WILL TOLERATE NO MORE OF YOUR INSOLENCE!! THE MACGUFFIN STONE!! SURRENDER IT AT ONCE!!"

Ranma was more surprised than most at the almost ear-shattering demand, but he leaned forward into the waves of force and remained standing against Luna's Canterlot Voice. Then he glared up at her, defiant and unrepentant.

"No."

---

"What the blazes are they doing?"

Rite and Swan Song stood atop a stone watch tower just outside of Coltson, the former levitating a set of binoculars over his muzzle. A pair of guard ponies lay on the floor behind the sorcerers, comatose and bound in chains of bright crimson.

"What's wrong?" Swan asked anxiously. All she could see of the meeting road was a handful of tiny colored spots, but that alone was enough to confirm their worst fears: the Princesses had beaten them to the transformed martial artist, and thus the MacGuffin Stone.

In theory, their current "plan" called for meeting Calamity anyway and blindly charging ahead despite the absurd amount of power gathered against them, but in practice Rite was simply incapable of such a careless and unsophisticated approach. For which the sorcerers were thankful, given this new development.

"It looks like... are they fighting?" Rite asked, his jaw dropping open afterward.

Swan brightened. "REALLY? Calamity is attacking the Princesses? Let me see!"

The mare tried to wrest control of the binoculars from her superior, but Rite's magical aura fended off her telekinesis spell.

"Not that kind of fighting. It looks like they're arguing. Loudly," Rite mumbled.

Swan frowned, wishing not for the first time that she had put more serious effort into learning spells that didn't involve incinerating others. Some magic longsight or distance scrying would be very helpful right now. "So, are we going to attack or not? This is it, right? Our last stand?"

"It is," Rite assured her, "however, there may be a chance that-" He suddenly jerked his head back in shock.

Swan's eyes widened. Even from this distance, and even without any magnification, she saw a flare of bright blue come from the meeting of ponies down the road. The darkest and largest of the distant blurs, obviously Princess Luna, rose up above the others, her power boiling around her with an intensity that the unicorns could feel half a mile away.

"... Let us wait a while longer," Rite said, a smirk tugging at the edge of his cheek, "I think fortune might just favor us today..."

---

Luna's wings beat at the air and her magic spilled into the air around her like a run of water from a shattered dam. Cascades of shimmering blue washed over the ground, and the magic reverberations rattled Trixie, Twilight, and Spike physically, as if they had been caught in an earthquake. Luna's eyes were pure windows of white power, and her horn was a crackling lance of hot energy that stood half as long as she was. Her mane and tail expanded behind her of their own accord, glittering brighter as a few of the stars within the pools of darkness flashed into novas.

The Princess of the Night hovered over the others, the very picture of a scorned Goddess, eyes and magical focus locked onto the earth pony standing in the middle of the road. Her power buffeted him, kicking up waves of dirt and causing pebbles on the ground to hover and tremble.

Still, Saotome just stared up at her. Unmoved. Unimpressed. He had delivered his reply already, and was patiently waiting for her response. As if all the magic saturation and her highly visible frustration was a meaningless interruption in their conversation, like somepony sneezing.

Luna focused her mind, and the stallion was wrapped in an aura of sparkling blue. His mane and tail flattened, and his braids fell to hang straight down. His knees buckled slightly, and the martial artist grit his teeth while fighting against the pressure of the alicorn's telekinesis.

"SURRENDER THE MACGUFFIN STONE AT ONCE." Luna's voice was no longer the violent boom of the Canterlot Voice, but now a regal, echoing roar that seemed to come from everywhere at once. Twilight was quite sure there were ponies in nearby Coltson currently looking up at the sky in terror, convinced that angry, unseen Gods were making demands of them. "I WILL NOT TELL YOU AGAIN."

Then Ranma stood up straight. The magic around him slipped away inexplicably, falling apart in an instant. Luna gaped in shock; she didn't know what had just happened, but she could swear that in the moment before her magic failed, the aura of power around Ranma had changed to a different shade of blue.

"No, I'm not giving you the magic rock," Ranma said flatly. "So if you're not going to repeat yourself again, I guess we're done here."

Luna began sputtering incoherently while still suspended in the air above.

"Of course, if you're really dead-set on getting the MacGuffin, I guess you could just try to blast me and take it," Ranma said, speculating aloud, "but Sparks doesn't seem like the type to go beating people up to take their jewelry." He arched an eyebrow. "Are you?"

Twilight and Trixie held their breath, uncertain as to the answer.

Princess Luna glowered. Never before have I faced such disrespect and defiance! Even as Nightmare Moon ponies at least had a proper fear of my power, if nothing else! But here is this mere earth pony, shrugging off my will as a mere... a mere TANTRUM, and daring me to escalate this to violence! He dares to challenge ME?

An excited tremor ran through the dusky alicorn. There was something curiously enjoyable about this confrontation now; after having her initial hopes crushed and her immediate goals denied, Luna's chest felt hot again. Her feathers ruffled, and her magical aura pulsed.

Subliminal feelings about Saotome's indomitable nature aside, Luna had to acknowledge that he had a point. While just about any action she took against just about anypony would be technically legal - being a diarch had its advantages - she couldn't simply smash Saotome into the ground and take his property like some lowly bandit. It just wasn't proper, and she would not condone such vile conduct.

Luna's eyes narrowed. There were, however, more dignified ways of smiting unruly citizens. She lowered herself back to the ground, her magical aura fading.

"Saotome Ranma!" the Princess of the Night shouted, her head held high. "I challenge you to a duel of honor!"

Ranma's other eyebrow rose.

"What?! Princess-" Twilight began to protest immediately, but Luna cut her off.

"The stakes are as follows! If I am victorious, then you shall relinquish the artifact, cease your employment with the Great and Powerful Trixie, and return with me to Canterlot!" the Dark Princess declared, finishing with a steaming snort.

Trixie's ear twitched. "Wait, you want him to go back with you too? Why?" Then she tilted her head to the side. "For that matter, what does he get if he wins?"

"If Saotome manages to defeat me in honorable combat, then he..." Luna trailed off for a moment. "Doesn't... have to do those things!" she finished awkwardly, completely dismissing Trixie's first question.

Twilight's head drooped. "Princess, there's no way he would even consider-"

"You're on!" Ranma shouted, interrupting Twilight again.

The purple pony immediately facehoofed, lost her balance, and then collapsed onto the ground in a heap.

Trixie's reaction was only slightly less dramatic. "Ranma! What do you think you're doing?! Why would you agree to that?!"

"It's an honor duel, Trix. I can't refuse," the pigtailed pony said, turning his head to the side. When he turned back to the others, the MacGuffin Stone was held between his teeth. "Spike, hold this." He spat it out, and the young dragon barely managed to catch the gem against his chest.

"... Wait..." Spike mumbled, looking down at the jewel in increasing concern. "Where were you hiding this?"

Twilight, after spending a moment to pick the grass from her mane, rushed over to Princess Luna. "Princess, please, you can't do this!"

"And why not?" the nocturnal alicorn said with an arched brow. "I have issued the challenge fairly and he has accepted. There is nothing untoward about this affair." Luna took up a position in the middle of the road, standing tall and waiting for her opponent to announce he was ready.

"This is the same thing as just attacking him and taking the gem! Referring to a brawl as a 'duel' and claiming that honor has anything to do with this doesn't change what's happening here!" Twilight hissed. "Duels aren't even legal anymore!"

"I suppose I do possess legal recourse," Luna mused, "he has defied a royal decree. It would perhaps be more appropriate for us to subdue and arrest him for treason, seizing the artifact for ourselves. But what is that but a theft labeled more favorably to appease our conscience?"

Twilight took a step back. "W-Well, I wasn't going to suggest-"

"We cannot leave without the artifact. Mister Ranma will not give it to us." Luna's horn flickered with power. "We will see how far he will go to protect this bauble. I was certainly not expecting to do battle with the stallion that had rescued me, but I must admit I am somehow... satisfied with this arrangement."

Twilight wilted, her ears and wings drooping. "Okay, but... could you go easy on him, at least?"

Luna snorted. "I will endeavor not to destroy him. Any less than that would be an insult to an accomplished warrior."

Twilight groaned and backed away.

"You're an idiot," Trixie said bluntly.

"Hey, she challenged me!" Ranma protested, stretching out one leg after another.

"And you ACCEPTED. You could have refused and just walked away, and the Princess would have either had to leave us alone or try to have you properly arrested. Instead, you agreed to fight her for the item that you already have. Thus, you are the idiot." Trixie scowled and stepped closer to the martial artist. "Exactly how do you think this is going to go, Ranma? What's happening in that golf-ball-sized monkey brain of yours?"

Ranma frowned, pausing in his warm-ups. "What, you think I'm going to lose?"

"It doesn't MATTER!" Trixie snapped. "If you lose, then Trixie is out a bodyguard and wagon colt! If you win, then Trixie is going to be associating with the stallion who beat up a Princess! Which, if you recall, is the heinous crime keeping you from walking freely amongst pony society in the first place!"

"This is different. I was accused of trying to assassinate this chick. Now I'm just accepting a challenge that she made. Totally legit." Ranma cracked his neck to the side.

Trixie screamed through clenched teeth. "Celestia's tail, you are so DENSE! You can't just go around beating up royal Princesses, even for 'legit' reasons! The only ones who do that are villains!"

"And you can't just go around taking my stuff, even if you're a Princess," Ranma retorted, "her 'royal decrees' don't mean squat to me."

"Ugh!" Trixie slapped a hoof against her muzzle. "This is going to create such a mess, no matter how it goes! Why don't you ever stop to think about how your actions affect Trixie?!"

"I feel like you do enough of that for both of us," the martial artist quipped, "anyway, can I get some cold water? I want this fight to be mare-on-mare."

Trixie hung her head and plodded off toward her wagon, reluctantly levitating a canteen out of the cargo hold.

"No, really, where was he keeping this?" Spike asked her as she trudged past, holding the MacGuffin Stone at arms' length. "He doesn't have any bags or pockets or anything!"

Luna and Ranma faced off in the middle of the road, some five meters of empty ground between them. The Equestrian Princess's mood had shifted dramatically from her earlier fury, and she stared down at her opponent with a calm smile. Ranma seemed quietly agitated by comparison, but not at all as troubled as everypony thought he probably should be while facing off against the Princess of the Night.

"You truly are a pony without fear," Luna mused, "whether fell sorcerer or royal alicorn, you challenge them as you see fit. But it will take more than courage to overcome me, Mister Ranma."

"I've got more than just courage going for me, so that's fine," the stallion retorted, "you sure you're ready for this, 'Princess'? I'm not going to hold back so that I don't mess up your space hair."

"You needn't worry about harming me," Luna scoffed, "by all means, I look forward to seeing what you're capable of when not challenging the dregs of Sister's magic school." Her horn sparked dangerously. "Are you prepared? You may begin when ready."

"Just a sec." Ranma looked over to Trixie and the canteen of water that was floating toward him. After a few seconds it floated over his head and then flipped upside-down, dumping its contents onto the stallion.

Ranma shook her mane out, her pigtail whipping about behind her head. "All right, let's do this!" she shouted, her wings snapping open.

Luna stood frozen in place, her eyes huge. "Wha... Tha... You..."

She was still stuttering when Ranma's hooves slammed into her chest.

Twilight recoiled as the Lunar Princess was knocked down the road, wings and legs flailing. The dusky alicorn bounced twice against the path, and then dug a shallow trench into the dirt before she skidded to a stop.

"Drat, drat, DRAT! I forgot! I completely forgot to tell Luna about Ranma's transformation!" the lavender mare chided herself.

"Which one?" Trixie asked.

Twilight's eyes bulged. "EITHER of them! I had no idea anything like this was going to happen!"

"Trixie pretty much expected this as soon as Princess Luna appeared, but it's still rather disappointing," Trixie sighed.

"Seriously! Where did this gem come from?! He couldn't have been holding it in his mouth all this time!" Spike said.

"... Huh. Was that it? Did I win?" Ranma asked. Luna was lying still in the road as a few dark feathers floated to the ground. Her ebony peytral lay in front of her, broken into two pieces; Ranma had deliberately struck the only part of Luna that could be considered armored to soften the blow and see what bizarre properties, if any, the alicorn's jewelry had. Not much, as it turned out.

"Uh... hey, are you all right?" she said, her voice weakening in concern. Ranma took a hesitant step toward the downed Princess. "You seemed pretty sure of yourself, so I put a decent amount of strength into that... I didn't think-"

Luna vanished in a sudden flare of blue flame. She reappeared behind the pegasus, nearly two meters in the air and her horn surrounded by a dark haze. "WHAT TRICKERY IS THIS?!"

Ranma leapt to the side just before a screaming beam of dark purple smashed into the dirt. The beam plowed through the road for several meters before Luna let it dissipate, and the scent of ozone wafted from the scorched trench left over from the attack.

"Oh, okay. You're fine," Ranma mumbled. She spread a wing and flapped it to the side, warding away the fumes from the vaporized dirt. "Had me worried for a sec, there."

A huge sphere of darkness flickered into place over Ranma's head, like a swirling orb of shadow. Luna clenched her teeth as she gathered her power further, briefly forgetting that there were other ponies (and one dragon) easily within the blast radius. "You have the body of mare? And a pegasus? Are you a changeling?!" she demanded, her eyes flashing. "SPEAK, DECEIVER!!"

"No, it's nothing like that!" Twilight interrupted. "It's an involuntary shape-shifting magic! I forgot to mention it earlier! He's stuck under a permanent enchantment of some kind!"

Luna glanced toward Twilight hesitantly, and then looked back to Ranma. Ranma looked up at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Something wrong, Princess?" She asked, looking between Luna and the giant, inky sphere. "I don't mind if you call a time out, but if you get hung up on every little thing I do we're going to be out here all day."

The Princess of the Night snorted, and the shadow ball melted away to nothing. "I will not face some illusory body in a duel of honor! I do not know what you meant to accomplish by taking this form, but I will dispel it!"

Ranma blinked. "You... wait, really? You can do that?" Despite the prospect of having her curse lifted, she was cautious. Ranma had been burned plenty of times - sometimes literally - by possible cures turning up unexpectedly and then not working out.

Luna's magic aura built around her, and small runic circle flashed into being on the ground below.

Trixie felt the magic charge building, and she frowned.

Then she turned to address Twilight again. "Say, did you warn Princess Luna about that other thing? The thing where magic doesn't work on Ranma like it should?"

"GAH!" Twilight yelped. "Princess! Wait! Stop! Don't complete that spell!"

Luna couldn't hear the other alicorn, her mind practically swimming in the ethereal flows of magical power that surrounded her. Her aura probed the pegasus below, feeling the tangles of ancient spellcraft that saturated Ranma's soul.

She was honestly impressed. The pigtailed pony was completely wreathed in magic, not entirely unlike herself or Twilight. Unlike the alicorns, however, this was not a product of Ranma absorbing and channeling mana from the space around her. This magic clung to her spirit like tar, binding to her in ways that perplexed the Princess of the Night. Still, it was nothing that a bit of counter-magic couldn't clear up.

Or so Luna thought before Ranma turned to stone.

"Ohhhh that's not good," Trixie mumbled, her ears flipping down. Twilight's eyes widened in horror. Luna was so stunned to see the outcome of her spell that she forgot to keep hovering, and she barely managed to land properly.

"Okay, so Princess Luna won, right?" Spike asked, still holding the MacGuffin Stone as far away from him as possible. "So she can take the MacGuffin Stone? PLEASE tell me I don't have to hold onto this until we get home."

"Wh-What is this? I did not use a petrifaction spell!" Luna said, her horn flashing in desperation.

"Wait! No! Princess, you can't-" Twilight's cry for restraint came just slightly too late, and Luna's spell arced from her horn and down onto the pigtailed pony statue.

It promptly lit on fire.

"HOW?!" Luna demanded, backing away from her opponent.

"He has another condition where magic doesn't affect him normally!" Twilight shouted. "It generates a randomized magical effect whenever an enchantment is cast on him!"

The larger Princess stared at her incredulously. "Is there anything ELSE you wish to divulge about Saotome that you neglected to mention in the time we spent searching for him?!"

"Uh... well, actually there's quite a bit," Twilight replied, lowering her head in embarrassment, "in a nutshell, he's also a magically transmogrified simian from another world. Or he's a madpony who THINKS he's a magically transmogrified simian from another world. That part isn't entirely clear yet." Luna gaped wordlessly.

"What exactly did you talk about during all the time you spent looking for Ranma that none of these things came up?" Trixie asked.

"I was busy reading up on wilderness survival and local history! It was highly relevant, okay?" Twilight protested. "But that's not important! We have to find a way to dispel the petrification, or Saotome-"

A loud cracking noise came from the statue. Several chunks of scorched stone tumbled to the ground, revealing a darker layer of fur beneath it.

Trixie sighed and sat down while the other mares stared. "Trixie isn't even surprised anymore."

"Okay, I'm just going to come out and ask," Spike interjected, cringing, "did he keep this in his butt? That's the only place I can think of! Is this a butt gem?"

"Here's a cloth," Trixie muttered, levitating a towel out of her cart and magically flinging it onto Spike's head, "take it and stop whining, already."

More bits of flaming stone crumbled from around Ranma's neck and fell onto the road, and the entire statue began to tremble. Luna folded her wings and gulped, wondering if she should be trying to help somehow and how she might do so without casting another spell on the pegasus directly.

Then the magical red fire turned blue.

"HHHHYAAAAAAA!!" Ranma reared up as a cyan flare of energy exploded around her, ripping through the shell of granite. Bits of smoldering rock bounced across the dirt, forming a series of smoking rings around the pegasus.

The very angry pegasus.

"Ah... it was not my intention to harm you with that particular spell," Luna said, droplets of sweat forming on her brow, "I was not aware that-"

"Time in," Ranma interrupted, her eyes narrowing.

"Ah. Okay, yes. That will do," Luna mumbled, her horn flashing again.

Ranma took off to the side, her form blurring into a gray line before she zig-zagged down the road toward her opponent.

Luna was impressed at Ranma's speed, but already had a fair idea of the martial artist's super-equine abilities. The next spell she cast formed a barrier around her, generating a dark sphere before shifting into a translucent spectrum.

And not a moment too soon, as Ranma skidded past her and then aimed a back kick into Luna's side.

A ring-shaped pulse of blue energy blasted from the impact of hoof against shield, and a dark crack appeared in the magical barrier. Luna snapped her neck to the side, and her horn crackled before loosing a thin beam of black energy at her foe. Ranma threw herself to the ground, rolled under the sweeping beam, and then bounced up into the air with a quick flap of her wings to avoid a second shot of magic.

Luna teleported away rather than trying to keep twisting about to aim her shots, gaining some critical distance. When she reappeared several meters away, she rapidly prepared another magic bolt.

She didn't find a target, however. Ranma was nowhere to be seen. Her eyes lingered on the spectators for a moment, considering that the shape-shifting warrior might be using them as improvised cover, but she couldn't see the pegasus among them.

She did notice, however, that they seemed to be looking at something off to the side and above her.

There was a brief rustling of leaves from the trees behind her before Luna's opponent struck again. Ranma shot out of the tree tops and bounced off the top of the alicorn's barrier, leaving another seething crack behind before deflecting back into the treetops. Luna rounded on the shaking branches, and though she had already lost sight of her target, her horn flared with power.

The hapless tree was ripped in half lengthwise from a thick, black ribbon of lightning, and flaming shards of wood flew every which way from the blast. A second later Ranma landed on the ground some distance away, barely singed but plenty annoyed.

"Great, magic shields AND explosive lightning. I'm guessing you're not one of those Princesses that spends most of her life sleeping or going to boring parties," the pegasus muttered, hopping backward.

"On the contrary! I amuse myself mostly by subduing feral magic beasts!" Luna said before she jumped up into a hover again. A hot blue lash of energy arced up from the base of her horn to the tip. "Although this is certainly not how I had anticipated our meeting, Saotome, I must admit that I am quite pleased to test my might against an opponent of worth!"

"Yeah, definitely not a Disney Princess," Ranma said before leaping behind a tree. A long string of detonations ruptured the ground behind her, throwing up spikes of flame and displaced dirt.

Twilight Sparkle and Spike watched the battle in silence, their eyes darting back and forth between the gray blur weaving through the terrain and the dark Princess laying waste to said terrain behind her.

Fireballs slammed into the ground in volleys and lightning split trees in half. Luna carved apart the terrain with unholy abandon, shredding tree and stone below her like a capricious God. Her only limitation seemed to be her ability to track her agile target, for even as she annihilated the terrain she also kicked up obscuring waves of dust and smoke. Most ponies and probably even most monsters would have been too shell-shocked from frequent near-annihilation to seek refuge in the smoldering craters left behind, but Ranma was quick to take any advantage she could.

"I told her to hold back," Twilight groaned, watching as a pair of larger trees toppled to the ground in flames, "she could start a fire out here!"

"Trixie doubts it. The Princess is doing a good job snuffing out the flames with new explosions." Trixie was writing something down as she spoke, only glancing over a floating page of parchment occasionally to track the battle. "Say, if Trixie has need of a witness to testify that she was a helpless bystander in court, can Trixie contact you for that?"

Twilight gave her a look. "Why would you be indicted for anything? This has nothing to do with you."

"Trixie wishes to abstain from answering that," the unicorn replied, "now what character witnesses could Trixie use that aren't likely to also be put on trial..."

"Hey, guys?" Spike asked suddenly.

"Look, Trixie doesn't know where he keeps the gem, all right?" Trixie snapped, turning her head toward the dragon. "It's alien magic! Stop asking!"

Spike winced, and glanced back down at the towel in his hands that held their current objective. "No, it's not that. I was just thinking... Ranma shouldn't stand a chance against Luna because of her powerful magic... but magic doesn't work right on Ranma. Doesn't he... uh, she have the advantage, here?"

Twilight pursed her lips as she considered the matter. "That's true, but the fact that the effect is random still makes Luna's spells a serious threat. If we're to assume that his condition can trigger the full spectrum of magical effects possible from all known magic spells, a hefty majority of them would probably be a hindrance in a battle, even if they don't cause damage directly."

"Besides that, Trixie doubts it's actually completely random," Trixie interjected, "most of the time he just explodes."

The ground shook as another stretch of land exploded in the adjacent forest. Several more trees trembled and then slowly teetered over.

"I can't really make out Saotome anymore," said Spike, "should we move closer?"

"Trixie rather likes being able to see and hear the detonations without feeling them, too."

"Ah. Point."

---

"Tch! Where did he go now?" Luna growled, searching through the columns of smoke and billowing dust for any hint of her foe.

Concentrating briefly, her eyes turned a solid, blazing white. She peered back to the ground. The smoke and dust were invisible to her now, and the world around her was wrought in gently flowing streams of power. Seams of light threaded the cores of the trees and branched out into each leaf, giving the surrounding forest a glowing, skeletal appearance. The ground was a mesh of energy flows, giving it the look of churning rapids.

What she was looking for, however, was less a stream of power and more a single focal point. When she twisted around in the air, she found just that.

Ranma was like a tiny sun at she darted through the trees, almost blinding Luna just to look at her. The Princess of the Night was stunned, unable to make any sense of it. Ranma's magical energy was much greater than before, when she had probed the pegasus to undo her curse. That shouldn't have been possible. It wasn't as if the shape-shifting pony was tapping into the surrounding environment either, as many ponies did to fuel their abilities; it seemed like he was just summoning extra power from nowhere.

Luna's curiosity was short-lived, however. The brilliant aura of power suddenly shot toward her like a missile, reminding her a moment too late that she was still fighting a battle. Ranma crashed into Luna's barrier, and the Princess felt a surge of pain sting her horn as her shield finally shattered.

Ranma bounced up off the barrier and then hung in the air with her wings, briefly mesmerized by the sight of the magic shield breaking apart into prismatic shards and fading away. Then she let herself fall, somersaulting and striking out at Luna on her way down.

Luna grunted from the blow, but remained hovering while her foe landed. Her eyes shifted back to normal, as did her vision.

"Ha! Let's see how well you do without your sissy little magic shield!" Ranma shouted, skidding along the ground awkwardly. She still hadn't quite worked out how to land properly.

Luna's horn flashed again. "Yes, let us see!"

A magical pulse blasted out from the alicorn, approaching Ranma in a vast wave. The martial artist couldn't see any way to really avoid it, but tried jumping as the wall of magic reached her.

Luna laughed when Ranma's form was swallowed by a dark shroud in mid-air. "You may be quick on your hooves, but nopony is beyond the reach of my magic! You-"

Ranma hit the ground underneath Luna, completely encased in a block of ice.

"... That was not supposed to happen," Luna mumbled, frowning, "by the ancients, this is frustrating. How am I supposed to safely subdue my foe when she reacts to my spells like this?"

"This is supposed to be 'safely' subduing her?!" came a shout from nearby.

Luna twisted her head around, and then spotted an unfamiliar earth pony mare crouched behind a tree. The pony had a camera with her, and was currently entwined in tendrils of writhing shadow and pinned to the ground. It was the effect that was supposed to have immobilized Ranma as well, although Luna had to admit that freezing him solid technically accomplished the same thing.

"What are you doing here? Who are you?" Luna demanded.

"Oh, nopony important, just a local who was a bit curious as to why the forest was blowing up!" the mare grunted, straining against the magical darkness. "Um... could you let me go, Princess? Please?"

Luna's horn flickered, and the magic tendrils disintegrated in an instant. The mare staggered upright, rather surprised.

"Apologies, citizen. I was not aware you were within my spell's area of effect," Luna said, "but you must withdraw at once. I cannot guarantee your safety if..." She trailed off suddenly, staring down at the mare's camera. She also seemed to have a cutie mark of a folded newspaper. "Hold. What were you doing with-"

A cracking noise interrupted the alicorn, and Luna whirled back around just in time to see the miniature iceberg containing Ranma break apart into misty shards.

"Geez! Would it kill this stupid magic allergy to drop me a 'heal' or 'energize' spell once in a while? Those exist, right?" Ranma shuddered and wiped off her face with her wing.

Luna quickly turned away from the civilian, forgetting her previous question. "Quickly! Go!" Her horn crackled with power, and the mare gaped as she launched a screaming missile of dark flame down at the pegasus.

However surprised she was to see Princess Luna unleashing her eldritch magic against another pony, the bystander was completely stunned to see the target pegasus vault over the blast, launch high into the air, and then dive into Luna hooves-first. Both ponies went tumbling to the ground, rolling along into a steaming crater.

"Hel-LO payday!" the mare breathed as she raised her camera.

---

"So... how exactly do you know Saotome, anyway?" Twilight asked, giving Trixie a sidelong glance.

"Trixie told you. Trixie is his employer," the unicorn replied, carefully avoiding eye contact.

"That doesn't really explain much," Twilight frowned at Trixie. "You're obviously familiar with his story and his abilities, as well as his connection with an ancient artifact that could potentially bring all of Equestria to ruin. It's more than a little strange that you, of all ponies, would end up as his boss."

Trixie finally turned to glare at Twilight. "What's strange about it? That dunderhead would be lost and starving if it weren't for Trixie!"

"Uh huh," the purple Princess seemed unconvinced. "What does he do for you, exactly?"

"He's Trixie's bodyguard. He also handles any other tasks that require raw strength and minimal thinking, such as pulling the wagon."

"Okay, yeah, I can see him being good at that," Spike mused.

"Feh! You'd think so, wouldn't you?" Trixie asked, her expression souring. "However, so far he's spent as much time starting fights that have nothing to do with Trixie as he has defending Trixie from enemies! It's a disgrace, Trixie tells you!"

"Should I ask why a stage magician would have enough enemies that she would even CONSIDER hiring a guard?" Twilight asked.

"No, you shouldn't," Trixie replied sharply. Then she stood up. "Trixie hasn't heard anything explode in a little bit. Do you think they're done?"

"Nope, but you are!" Chirped a voice from behind them. "VOLT CRASH!"

Trixie seized up as soon as she heard the voice, recognizing it instantly. Spike turned around, surprised and having no idea what to expect. Only Twilight, who felt the sudden magic build-up, managed to take a proper countermeasure, throwing up a magic barrier around them before the attack hit.

The explosion was like a thunderclap, and Twilight's skull seemed to rattle from the shock wave and tremendous noise. Her barrier collapsed a moment later. She and the others had been protected from the force and heat of the blast, but were still disoriented and deafened.

"Swan Song! She's here!" Trixie cried.

"WHAT?!" Spike screamed, his claws pressed over his ear-fins.

"I said the evil unicorns are here!" Trixie shouted, dashing behind a tree for cover.

"We don't have time for that!" Twilight shouted, her horn flickering. "I think the rebel unicorns are attacking!"

Twin bursts of magic came from the trees, and Twilight leapt up into the air to take flight, avoiding the barrage. Spike saw a flash of crimson light and yelped, throwing himself to the ground while the energy bursts screamed overhead.

Twilight flew higher, zeroing in on the source of the attacks. Then she vanished in a flash of purple light.

"Hm? Where'd she..." Swan Song had been aiming her next volley when her target had disappeared, and she took a moment to concentrate on detecting any nearby magic discharges.

She then concentrated on ducking, having sensed just such a buildup behind her. "YEEP!" A beam of white-hot magic sliced over her head, coming close enough to singe her mane.

"Hey!" the sorceress shouted, bouncing to her hooves and whirling around. "Are you trying to kill me?! The good guys are supposed to subdue the bad guys alive, to be processed by your fragile and useless 'criminal justice system'! What the hay is wrong with you?!"

Twilight frowned. "Are you surrendering? I still can't hear anything! It doesn't look like you're surrendering!" Her horn started to glow again.

"Aw, fireballs..."

Spike waited several seconds after the last magic explosion before he cracked an eye open. "Are we okay? Is it over?"

"The gem!" Trixie screamed, barely overcoming Spike's fading deafness. "They're after the MacGuffin Stone!"

"Right! Of course!" Spike pushed himself up to his knees, and then unwrapped the gem in his hands. "I can just eat it! Then it's game over!" He took up the glimmering artifact and opened his mouth.

Then he halted, the gem less than an inch from his lips.

"Well?! What are you waiting for?!" Trixie demanded. Another round of magical blasts could be heard from deeper in the forest, no doubt from Twilight engaging Swan.

"It's just..." Spike cringed and pulled away from the magic stone. "We never really worked out where Saotome was keeping this. Are we SURE he wasn't-"

Spike's question was cut off when a hoof slammed into his head, throwing him back to the ground. The MacGuffin Stone bounced away, onto the dirt, and was then wrapped in a glimmering white aura.

"Sorry, child. But I need that," Rite said, stepping past the young dragon. The MacGuffin Stone floated over to him, and he closed his eyes briefly to confirm the gem's presence. "Yes! This is it! I have it at last! Again!"

His horn flickered, and he started to turn around. "Now I just need to help Swan Song ward off Sparkle, and-"

"HALT, VILLAIN!!" Rite felt his heart leap up to his throat as Luna's voice came from behind him. He whirled around, and then his eyes bulged as he saw a huge, shadowy equine form floating in the air above. Its eyes were burning slashes of crimson, and cloudy wisps of darkness trailed from its hooves. "SURRENDER THE MACGUFFIN STONE AT ONCE, AND LUNA SHALL SPARE YOUR LIFE!! THIS IS YOUR ONE AND ONLY CHANCE, FOUL SORCERER!!"

Rite blinked, and then his eyes narrowed. "Princess Luna does not speak in the third pony."

"OH, SURE, LIKE YOU'VE EVER HAD A CONVERSATION WITH HER. ERM, WITH LUNA. WHO IS ME," the imposing figure scoffed in a slightly less booming voice.

"I have, actually," Rite said, "also, I can see your tail from behind the tree, Trixie."

The slim lock of blue and silver hair quickly slid completely behind the obscuring flora.

A scream came from the forest, and Rite grit his teeth. That had been Swan Song. He really didn't have time to indulge a powerless magician's desperate heroics right now.

"OKAY, FINE. SO TRIXIE KIND OF DROPPED THE BALL ON THIS ONE. BUT LET'S BE FAIR, TRIXIE HAD TO THINK QUICK WHEN... HEY! GET BACK HERE! TRIXIE WAS TALKING! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!"

"To deal with somepony who matters!" Rite snapped as he galloped into the woods. The MacGuffin Stone followed behind him, sparking with energy in the grip of his magic.

Trixie started sputtering in fury, leaping out from behind her hiding spot. Spike gasped and scrambled to his feet, shouting into the forest after the stallion. "TWI! LOOK OUT!!"

---

"GYAH!" Swan stumbled as the ground underneath her suddenly seemed to crumble away. After a moment she realized that the dirt under her hooves had turned to quicksand, and that she had already sunk down to her belly.

Immobilized and more panicked than ever, she twisted her head around and fired off another attack spell. "White wing!" Pressurized air formed into blade-like arcs and whipped through the forest behind her, curving wildly to cover as wide an area as possible.

Twilight simply vanished in another burst of purple, avoiding the swarm of projectiles easily. She reappeared on the other side of the quicksand pit she had created, landing in front of the sorceress.

Swan Song quickly whipped her head back around, already charging another spell. "PolymOW!" Her head rocked back as a purple flare engulfed her horn, and the magic charge fizzled instantly.

"None of that," Twilight said darkly, narrowing her eyes at the immobilized mare, "feel free to give up whenever. My ears are still ringing a little, so you can just nod or shake your head."

"TWI! LOOK OUT!!" came a shout from beyond the trees.

Twilight glanced off to the side. "Hm? Did someone mention books?"

"Awww... there's no way I'm going to earn a window for moderately inconveniencing a Princess! This sucks!" Swan complained. She felt her body sink another few inches. "This physical predicament ALSO sucks, but in a different and much more literal way!"

Twilight turned her attention back to her opponent. "You want a what? A window? What did you say?"

The green unicorn pouted. "You wouldn't understand. You already have some. AND you can talk to Calamity without getting kicked. It's not fair!"

"Calamity? Are you trying to cast another spell?" Twilight's eyes narrowed. "That won't work. I temporarily disabled your horn. Between that and the quicksand, you're helpless. Give it up! It's over!"

Swan Song adopted a look of angry defiance, and also raised her speaking volume a little more so her enemy could hear her. "I may be immobilized and have no magic... but I can still keep your attention fully occupied while somepony else gets you from behind!"

Twilight's eyes widened, and her horn flashed. In the same instant, a glowing gemstone landed on her back, surrounded by a ring of runic sigils.

"GAH! What?!" Twilight jumped away into the air, flapping her wings in a panic. She had been meaning to teleport, but for some reason the spell failed at the last second.

Rite stood below, staring up at the Princess with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Blood Rite!" Twilight growled.

"Oh, hey, she knows your full name," Swan observed. Then she sunk another inch, dropping down to her neck. "Uh... little help?"

Twilight tried to cast an attack spell immediately, but felt the energy get sucked away with no effect. "What? What did you do? My magic!"

"Your magic is my magic now, Princess Sparkle," Rite said. Oddly enough, he didn't sound angry, happy, or even the slightest bit sinister while informing her of her fate. In fact, he sounded rather... resigned. "The MacGuffin Stone already has you. You, as it turns out, will be my catalyst." He reached a hoof down and touched Swan Song's head. After a moment of concentration, he teleported her free of the quicksand and onto the ground next to her.

"Ugh. Thanks," the sorceress mumbled, shaking herself like a dog and spraying wet sand everywhere.

Twilight was bobbing unsteadily in the air, trying to get a good look at the artifact on her back. A high-pitched keening sound was coming from it now, slowly rising in pitch. "The MacGuffin Stone? What is it doing?!"

"It's trapping you within it. You are now the stone's power source. Don't worry, the process is painless and temporary," Rite explained.

"Urgh! This isn't painless!" Twilight shouted, wincing. "It feels like my fur is burning!"

The sorcerer winced. "Oh. Uh... sorry about that, then. I kind of just assumed it was painless." Then he paused. "Also, it's only 'temporary' insofar as I'm planning to let you out eventually."

"You're a monster!" Twilight seethed. She could no longer feel her horn at all, and she was swiftly losing altitude as she lost feeling in her wings, as well. "You'll never get away with this! Princess Celestia will stop you!"

She couldn't help but notice that Rite seemed perturbed by her words, as if he was actually taking the desperate, angry curses of a defeated enemy seriously. Swan Song's reply was more traditionally villainous.

"Ha! That lazy, glorified lightswitch couldn't stop a cab!" Swan grinned as she watched the purple Princess land unsteadily. "With the pigtailed stud and the Insomnia Princess inexplicably fighting each other out of earshot, you're helpless! And with her favorite henchmare out of the picture, so is Celestia!"

"But you forgot about ME!"

Rite and Swan jumped around at the shout, and then blinked in surprise. Spike emerged from some bushes, his claws clenched into fists and his breath heaving.

"...... Anyway," Rite said, turning back to Twilight, "the process should be complete in a few moments. You'll be absorbed into the MacGuffin Stone, and you will lose consciousness until the moment you're ejected."

"HEY! Don't ignore me!" Spike shouted. His knees were shaking slightly as he glared up at the sorcerers. "I may not be some mighty Princess, but I can fight, too!"

"No! Spike, run!" Twilight shouted. "It's too dangerous!" Spike didn't listen, and his cheeks puffed up while he aimed at Rite's backside.

A runic barrier sprung up behind Rite, shimmering with white light as Spike blasted a jet of fire into it. The magic construct barely flickered until Spike wheezed out the last spark of flame, and then it quickly faded away. Rite hadn't even turned around.

"... So... should we kill him?" Swan asked, glancing toward her employer.

"Meh," Rite shrugged, "if you need something to do until Miss Sparkle is finished being absorbed, go ahead."

Spike immediately turned around to flee, but then he found his tail snagged by a telekinetic grip. He was pulled up into the air, and he flailed his arms helplessly while hanging upside-down.

"No! You can't! He's just a child!" Twilight shouted.

"A child dragon, though. I'm ambivalent," Rite mumbled.

"I'm more sympathetic toward dragons, actually. It comes from my studies of your culture and society," Swan admitted, pulling Spike closer until he was just out of swiping range of her nose, "on the other hoof, your suffering apparently infuriates Sparkle, and I kind of like that. Decisions, decisions..."

Twilight started shouting incoherently as the MacGuffin Stone's light continued building, and the keening noise reached a terrible crescendo.

"... Actually, I suppose I should kill you anyway, to get rid of any witnesses. It would help us out if the others had no idea what exactly happened to you," Swan reasoned.

"That won't work. That unicorn was there, too," Rite interjected, "the 'Great and Powerful' one."

"Oh. Too bad." Then Swan frowned. "So, wait, where is she right now, then?"

"Probably getting help," Spike admitted, "that's what I should have done. Hindsight, you know?"

Swan Song frowned more deeply. Then she dropped her magical grip on Spike, jumped over to Twilight, and started beating her hooves on the ground rapidly in a panicked sequence.

"Hurry hurry hurry hurryhurryhurryhurryHURRYHURRYHURRYHURRY..."

---

Ranma zipped around the forest like a pinball, deflecting off of trees in a chain of flickering gray blurs.

She spread her wings at a decisive moment, suddenly curving upwards and barely avoiding running headlong into a swirling black orb.

Luna clicked her tongue, and her body flashed blue and disappeared just before Ranma dive-bombed into her. She reappeared higher up, just in time to watch the flailing pegasus smash into the ground and then bounce along the forest floor, eventually rolling into a smoldering crater left over from an earlier fireball.

"Such grace and agility!" Luna put a hoof to her muzzle and giggled. "Your speed boggles the mind, yet I have seen pegasi toddlers conduct better landings!"

Ranma climbed out of the crater, and then spat some dirt onto the ground next to her. "You got a point. At this rate, I might end up defeating myself!" She smirked. "Not like you could, since your only moves seem to be magically running away and blowing up innocent trees."

Luna's eyes narrowed. "Were your skill at flight half as sharp as your banter, I would be doomed, without question. As it stands, however, I am quite beyond your abilities, peasant."

Luna's horn flashed, and Ranma was instantly surrounded by a blue glow.

"Aw, dammit! No! Stop doing that! It doesn't work!" Ranma groaned. Apparently some of Luna's spells didn't need to be aimed at her like a projectile, and the only real defense she had against them was the magic allergy. Which amounted to her hoping that the random magical effect wasn't that bad.

This time, after the effect passed, nothing happened, as far as she could tell. Ranma took a moment to take stock of her body, and she felt no numbness, missing limbs, or catastrophic changes in temperature.

"Ha! I guess that one was no good!" the pegasus grinned.

Luna grinned back.

"Aw, damn it. What happened?" Ranma groaned.

The Lunar Princess cast a different spell, and a silvery pool appeared in the air before Ranma. The pegasus blinked, and then recoiled in shock. Where before her mane had been generally unkempt with a braid, now it was bushy and stood over a foot atop her head.

"A perm?! And not even a good one! I could do better than this with four minutes and a few twigs!" Ranma snapped. "You'll pay for that!"

Luna snickered, still hovering overhead. "Truly, this is the most fun I've had fighting in ages. After you return to Canterlot with me, perhaps we may duel again without a crucial artifact hanging in the balance."

"Fat chance, moonbutt!" Ranma shouted, leaping backward. She stood up on her hind legs, and then her aura exploded around her.

Luna recoiled in the air, blinking rapidly. For a moment she believed she had returned to using her witchsight, but obviously the rest of her vision was working in the ordinary light spectrum. Ranma was now surrounded by a furious blue haze, similar to a unicorn or alicorn's magical aura. The differences were as profound and bizarre as the similarities, however; Ranma's aura covered her entire body, and surged around her like a roaring flame. It felt less like the gentle manipulations of magic spells, which altered the surrounding flows of energy, and more like a magical item being destroyed, with a sudden rush of power from a single point.

What was even more strange is that this new not-magic was quickly being drawn back into a different point, focused between Ranma's front hooves.

"It's time I got half-way serious about this!" the pigtailed pony growled. "Mouko..."

"WAIT!! STOP!!"

Ranma stumbled in surprise, and immediately lost her balance. She collapsed onto her belly, and her aura winked out.

Luna pouted, getting the distinct impression that she had just missed out on something important. Then she looked over to where the shout had come from.

Trixie galloped through the smoke columns, panting heavily. She spotted Ranma pushing herself up off the ground, and Luna hovering high over the treetops. Plus some other pony taking photographs from a semi-safe distance. Whatever.

"Quit fighting, you two!" Trixie yelled.

"Why should we? Just because we harbor no actual malice for one another?" Luna snorted.

"Or because we have the same enemies?" Ranma scoffed.

"Perhaps you'd like to point out how the events leading up to the conflict have already been determined to be a misunderstanding?"

"You're not going to lecture me again about how this is a really stupid decision, are you?"

Trixie's leg trembled mightily as she forced herself not to raise her hoof and smash it into her face. She wasn't sure her skull could handle the impact. "No! Or rather, YES, but also: Rite and Song showed up and attacked us while you two morons were tearing up the woods!"

Ranma and Luna gasped. The photographer pony frowned, scratched her head, shrugged, and then snapped another picture of Luna looking horrified.

Ranma grimaced. "Okay, this is bad. But don't worry; they're after the MacGuffin Stone! As long as I have it, they can't win!"

Trixie glared silently at the pegasus.

"...... CHIKUSHOU!" Ranma cursed in Japanese, slapping her hoof against her forehead.

Luna vanished in a burst of shadowy energy, teleporting toward the road. Trixie beckoned to Ranma to follow her back toward the site of the ambush.

"Come on! There's no time to wallow in regret! Trixie will ensure you do that later!" the magician shouted.

"Just a moment, please," said the unfamiliar mare. Ranma and Trixie stopped, frowning at her. "Brassy Bugle, of the Coltson Bugle! I've been snapping photos of the redhead fighting the Princess for the past several minutes, and was wondering if you'd like to add some context with an interview?"

"For the first time in Trixie's life, Trixie has more important things to do than indulge the fawning press! The future of Equestria could hang in the balance right now!" Trixie snapped at the mare. "Only one question! Then Trixie has to go!"

Brassy hesitated for a moment. "Well... okay, fine. If I only have one, I'll go with: what's that mare's name?" She asked, pointing a hoof at Ranma.

"I'm-" Ranma barely managed

"Calamity! Her name is Calamity! Leaving now!" Trixie shouted, bolting away.

"Gah! Dammit, Trix! Stop doing that!" Ranma took off after the unicorn, growling.

Brassy watched them go, then shrugged and started heading in the other direction.

"Hmm... 'Madpony Calamity Assaults Princess in Battle to Determine Fate of Equestria'. Yeah, that'll sell. I kind of get the feeling that there was a lot more to the situation than that, but hey. If they won't tell me, what am I supposed to do?" Brassy giggled and trotted back home.

"Again with the nickname? Can you let ME manage my fake identities, please?" Ranma shouted at Trixie while they dashed through the woods.

"We have more important concerns than Trixie absolutely not letting you do that!" Trixie shouted back. "When Trixie left, Sparkle was fighting the sorcerers! But Rite managed to nab the MacGuffin Stone! Trixie isn't sure if they can use it to overcome her or if she can even handle both of them, or what!"

Ranma groaned. "Damn it, damn it, damn it!" Then she turned back to her employer. "Is Spike okay?"

"Is who okay?"

"Spike!"

There was a pause filled by the sound of hooves thumping against the forest floor.

"Like, a specific spike? Are we talking a wooden spike, or a metal one?"

"No! Spike's the little dragon guy that follows Sparks around!" Ranma clarified.

"That thing has a name?" Trixie asked, perplexed.

"Of course! Why wouldn't he?"

"Huh... Trixie supposes you're right. Pets usually do have names. Somehow it just never occurred to Trixie."

"Whatever! Is he okay?"

"Just because Trixie suddenly recognizes the lizard as a unique, independent creature doesn't automatically mean she cares. By the way, what happened to your mane?"

Ranma groaned again, putting on a little bit of speed to get ahead of Trixie. She could have easily left Trixie behind entirely, but she had already made the mistake of charging out of sight of the unicorn once already today.

A few seconds later they cleared the last few blast craters in front of the main road, and Ranma skidded to a stop.

"Oh, no..."

Luna stood next to Spike, who was seated under a tree and hugging his knees to his chest tightly. They both looked devastated, and it wasn't hard to guess why; there were no signs of a magic battle going on nearby. Fresh scorch marks decorated the side of the road, and Ranma noted a few new clusters of debris that weren't here before. But the forest was silent.

"They got Twilight," Spike said miserably, "they used the dumb gem and captured her in it, and then teleported out. They're gone. SHE'S gone. I couldn't do a thing." He sniffled and wiped his nose.

"This... This can be remedied," Luna said nervously, glancing over to Ranma and Trixie. "We can find them. We WILL find them."

"Yes! We can!" Trixie said decisively, stepping forward and setting her jaw. "Ranma can detect the MacGuffin Stone! And as for Sparkle being sucked into it, it's been verified that ponies can also be knocked OUT of it! We can save Princess Twilight Sparkle!"

"Uh... yeah... about that..." Ranma winced while she turned her head left and right with her eyes shut. "The MacGuffin sense thing... isn't working."

Trixie whirled around. "What? It's not?! How?!"

"I don't know. I don't even know why it worked to begin with," the martial artist mumbled, turning in a full circle, "but I'm not getting anything. Not so much as a blip. I'm MacGuffin-blind."

"So... that's it? There's nothing we can do?" Spike asked, his voice shaking unsteadily. "They've won?"

"No! Absolutely not!" Trixie said, her eyes narrowing and her chest puffing up.

Luna and Spike quickly turned hopeful gazes toward the magician, while Ranma set her jaw and likewise waited for her new plan.

Trixie stared back, looking slightly surprised by the sudden attention. "Trixie meant 'no, there's nothing we can do,' not 'no, they haven't won'. Trixie's got nothing."

Spike slumped over again. Luna felt a wrenching sensation in her stomach.

"This cannot be... this... this is all my fault," Luna hissed, hanging her head. "It was I who defied Sister's prohibitions... I who convinced Sparkle to aid me and refused to retreat when we got wind of the sorcerers. I who insisted upon a duel when there were more important concerns at hoof!"

"Aw, don't be like that, Princess," Trixie said sympathetically, "you can blame Ranma for everything if it makes you feel better. Trixie usually finds that it does."

"NO!!" Luna roared in the Canterlot Voice, knocking the others over with a tremendously loud shout. She turned her gaze to the heavens, hot tears running down her cheeks. "I WILL CORRECT THIS!! I WILL RESCUE TWILIGHT SPARKLE AND PUT AN END TO THIS REBELLION!!"

The dark alicorn started rising into the air, and a furious torrent of shadowy magic swirled about her horn as her eyes glowed a solid white. "HEAR ME, BLOOD RITE!! YOU SHALL PAY FOR THIS TRANSGRESSION!! I WILL NOT REST UNTIL YOU AND YOUR MAD AMBITIONS ARE BURIED!!"

Princess Luna's horn pulsed, and the clouds overhead spontaneously darkened. After a few seconds the magical energy reached a peak, and the dusky alicorn was swallowed completely by a wave of night-black energy.

When the tides of magic receded again, Luna was gone.

"Great," Spike mumbled bitterly, twisting a claw in his ear, "now I'm sad AND deaf."

Author's Note:

Ranma Saotome's official rap sheet: Assaulting a Princess of Equestria (two counts), assaulting a public official, aggravated assault, trespassing, breaking and entering, arson (two counts), vandalism (multiple counts), resisting arrest, assaulting an officer (multiple counts), assaulting a soldier of Equestria, possession of an unregistered magic weapon, defacing a public bounty notice, high treason, conspiracy to rebellion, illegal deforestation, terrible hair.

It's not clear at all where Ranma ever got money, even though Nabiki somehow managed to fleece him regularly. He worked at the Cat Café that one time, but he's never seen doing any other sort of paid work, and it isn't implied that he worked there for non-plot reasons. So I reached the logical conclusion to explain his cash flow: Ranma is an RPG hero.
As always, I had considerably difficulty deciding where to place a major Princess on a combat power scale. I'm sure I'll have my share of readers who think Ranma should have walloped Luna, and others who think Luna held every possible advantage. In either case, I invite you all to assume that whoever you think should have won was holding back so as not to permanently harm her opponent.

Comments

[badninja]

So how much longer till Discord drops the necessary information on poor Ranma? Nice to see this story again but boy do I feel that Luna is going to be in so much trouble when this is all said and done.

[Kencolt]

"Okay that's another thing: your country is run by a Princess? Why a Princess?" Ranma asked as his brow furrowed. "Why not a queen or a king?"

"Because kings and queens are evil, obviously," Trixie answered.

It's official. Equestria really does work under Hasbro Marketing Logic.

[zooba]

If someone tries to kill you, you're allowed to take their stuff!

It's true, that's the rule.

[RTStephens]

The confrontation with Luna both did, and did not, go as I expected. Plenty of surprises!

Heh, Trixie sure did role high in charisma. She almost talked her way through this. Too bad the ponies she has to deal with put their dump stat in intelligence.

Spike, don't ask questions that don't have easy answers.

Loved your use of Tiberius at the beginning. Such a loyal pet!

Poor Twilight is so out of her element here that she thinks she's still staring in Friendship is Magic. Somepony better get her the anime script.

Nice fight sequences, though Luna seems to have a one track mind when it comes to combat. Once she found that magic wasn't helping her, I kinda expected her to get in close and personal. Oh well, at least the hair thing was funny.

Looks like we might be drawing close to a resolution. Looking forward to it!

[SFaccountant]

6948382
Quite a bit longer. He hasn't exactly been kept in the loop, here. And it's not like Ranma needs someone around to make his life MORE complicated.

6948526
Even if magic wasn't working, at least she could use it from out of kicking range. It's fairly obvious that Ranma would have demolished her in hoof-to-hoof combat.

And no, we're not drawing near a resolution. Not even close. I don't think the story is even half done yet. So many more cities to wreck!

[badninja]

6948825

That scares me. So will Twilight, Luna, and Trixie be journeying together from now on or are they all getting separated soon? I get the feeling that by the last quarter of this story Celestia is going to be needing a stiff drink. Hopefully she can dole out one heck of good punishment over how Ranma, Luna, and Twilight handled the whole situation.

[Bumblebee Tuner]

The chapter was fun and it's been read. And, with the removal of Twilight and Luna, Spike is now an extra mouth to feed. Sadly, while I assume Ranma is good at hunting and I know he's a master sashimi chef, I'm not entirely sure Spike is a carnivore... I guess he does eat eggs and that's meat.

[SFaccountant]

6949170
Eggs aren't usually considered meat. They're considered dairy.
They're also used extensively in baking, so ponies almost certainly consume eggs themselves regularly.

[RTStephens]

Something else I forgot to comment on. I was looking forward to how Trixie and Twilight would react to each other once the two groups met. I gotta say, I approve. Neither are hostile towards each other but you wouldn't confuse them for being friends. There's just the right mix of guarded distrust and grudging respect that makes it interesting to see what's going to happen next between them.

I also like how each reacts to events beyond their control. Twilight is all frazzled and stressed in trying to understand the situation while Trixie takes it all in stride and is like, "Meh."

Wow, we have that much more to go, huh? Well, I'm already strapped in for the ride, so bring it!

[Greatazuredragon]

Awesome chapter!
Loved the battle and can't wait to see what will happen now that they captured Twilight.
Great work.

[Kencolt]

6949463

Eggs and dairy are canon-- in one episode Sweetie Belle proves she's as good a cook as Akane.
And then rarity makes a proper breakfast-- including fried eggs,
Yup. A Lacto-ovo Vegetarian diet, in general.

[SFaccountant]

6949602
While Twilight is obviously far more powerful, well-educated, and at least a little more intelligent, I imagine Trixie as being far more experienced. Trixie is the one who spent a substantial portion of her life traveling the road and challenging ponies to contests of skill and wit and surviving on her own, while Twilight was coddled in Canterlot's libraries. So Trixie is able to shrug off fantastic stories of people being brought to other worlds and given other bodies, while Twilight still attempts to fit things into her accepted worldview.

[MWKillKenny84]

Good chapter.

How much time before DIscord will inform Blood Rite on what has happened last time someone used the MacGuffin Stone?

[SFaccountant]

6950451
You mean how it worked exactly as advertised and accomplished precisely what the bearer wanted, but said bearer came to regret his (stupid) goals later?
I don't think Rite would be dissuaded that way.

[ayh]

Awesome chapter, and awwwee, Trixie and Ranma got a new traveling companion. Nice to see some Spike interaction. And who would have guessed that by ignoring Spike's questions that it would lead him to hesitating at the last moment and thus dooming Equestria?

Great banter and great action. Though why is the stone no longer working for Ranma? Because they replaced the batteries so now it's dumped all the previous user accounts?

Also Luna lost her crush and had her image of her noble rescuer, but now has a serious 'worthy opponent' thing going with Ranma.

And the press joyfully messes things up again. Dig deeper for facts? Heck no, just blame everypony else for not falling over themselves to talk to the press.

Really looking forward to see where this goes and how everything plays out.

[SFaccountant]

6950761
Who could have possibly guessed that ignoring SPIKE would have meaningful consequences?! Oh, the tragedy!

The reason Ranma can't sense the MacGuffin Stone is because Rite set up that magic effect in his tower to block it.

You're being too hard on Brassy. What was she supposed to do, run after the ponies that seemed to know what was going on and wait until they had time to speak with her? She has deadlines to meet!

[ayh]

My guess for the end:

Rite's goal is political and to usurp the Princesses and set up a democratic government, thinking that voting and everything is his own idea as it seems to have been lost and no pony knows what that is. Thing is that he never gets around to explaining it at all as he is beaten up and knocked unconscious in the final battle only to wake up weeks later in a prison hospital where the nurse tells him that Ranma instituted democracy on his own simply by talking to the Princesses and rather vocally complaining about all the corruption occurring on the local levels of government.

They thought it was a good idea and Equestria held it's first elections where everypony unanimously voted (except for Rite being knocked into a coma and Swan being in jail) to make Celestia and Luna Princess Presidents for life/eternity/whichever comes first. A few local mayors and such did lose their jobs though most stayed as most ponies seem to be fine with the status quo.

Ranma is celebrated as a political and revolutionary genius and gets his own window in the Palace and everything. Rite and Swan are forgotten completely and Rite gets to see a violent alien monkey thing get full credit for what he thought was his own idea.

You seem to bring up voting a lot so I figured it had to play into the story some how.

[SFaccountant]

6951282
Stop it! Stop giving away the ending! >_<
Geez, at least spoiler that!

[MWKillKenny84]

6950620 No, that last time someone has used it, the world has been pratically destroyed.

[Emperor]

Somehow, I get the feeling that Blood Rite was quite right in that Cakelestia Celestia is lazy and won't get off her damn haunches. What the result will be is that for the next several days, Celestia will get a copy of her newspaper and spit out her tea as she sees headlines like 'Madpony Calamity Assaults Princess in Battle to Determine Fate of Equestria', 'Princess Ambushes Circus Performers Including a Dragon and Gender-Bender Pony', 'Princess Luna Caught in Three-Way Catfight with Two Other Mares', 'Princess and Her New Apprentice Both have Moon Cutie Marks - Coincidence, or is Her Apprentice Really Her Bastard Child Born Out of Wedlock?!', 'Calamity Strikes Again! His Assault of Two Innocent Unicorns Blows Up Sugar Factory, Cake Factory Shuts Down Due to Lack of Sugar'.

Poor Trixie, though. She tried so hard and was making headway with getting the two sides to back down. Ranma really kind of had the ultimate brain fart to remove the MacGuffin Stone from his hammerspace though and hoof it over to Spike.

Probably the funniest moment in the chapter to me personally is the segment where Trixie snarks at Twilight for not telling Luna basically anything about Ranma while they were were together, and Twilight's assertion that she had important things to read like local history. That's so classical Twilight, and of course she screws up a bunch of stuff as a result.

By the way, if Luna ran off...that means that Spike has been left with Ranma and Trixie. That will surely end in character dynamics where each of them respects the other two *laughtrack*

[zooba]

6951282
If I remember right, he was pretty adamant about doing away with the whole "destiny" thing as well. Maybe he'll use the stone to fix nature since it's so broken too.

[SFaccountant]

6954097
He might as well. If you're going to fundamentally re-order your universe for egalitarian purposes, there's no point in half-assing it.

6953529
Trixie, as usual, is the REAL hero here; her courage is simply no match for the stupidity of the ponies around her.

6953361
That's true, but since that's precisely what the user wanted, it's not much of a warning.
It's not like the MacGuffin Stone destroys the world by default, or by accident. That just happens to be one of the more extreme functions it's capable of.

[ayh]

6953361 Well, that was pretty much what the wisher wanted. So telling Blood that using the McGuffin stone will result in getting exactly what he wishes for isn't really going to dissuade him much.

Not his fault the stone worked exactly as advertised, just the wisher was a complete idiot, not the stones fault at all.

[Bumblebee Tuner]

6954242
I'm not suggesting that I will, but would you be interested in a Calamity vs Luna picture. I would of course give Calamity(Ranma) permed Baby-doll hair from Batman: The Animated Series and the image would reference the cover for 'Spiderman the Chameleon Strikes.' With Luna(or at least her tail) in place of the human torch and Ranma in place of Spider man. With a few other homage goodies.

[SFaccountant]

6958324
I'm always interested in possible art contributions

[Bumblebee Tuner]

6959274
Incidentally, i did mention this before, but Ranma, Sailor Moon, and Rei from Evangalion appear in Scare Master...

I was wondering if you could help me identify the other characters in Fluttershy's hanging gallery. I'm guessing one is from Final Fantasy 7, but I'm not sure.

[Aatxe360]

6960545

1. Sailor Moon from Sailor Moon.

2. Rei Ayanami from Neon Genesis Evangelion.

3. Utena from Revolutionary Girl Utena.

4. Bulma from Dragonball(Not to be confused with its more popular sequel: Dragonball Z. She sports a different look in that.

5. Ranma Saotome from Ranma 1/2.

[Bumblebee Tuner]

6961718

Thanks for the assist.

[RanmaChaos]

Another very enjoyable chapter. Great job.

[Bumblebee Tuner]

i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/GabrielsThoughts/inkhiwyci-001_zpssnbokn1j.jpg

Anyone want to help me color? While I'm literally color blind to some extent, I can use a palette. But, that would deprive some young soul of gaining the extra experience... So, I offer this to you for science.

[John Tannius]

As always, I had considerably difficulty deciding where to place a major Princess on a combat power scale. I'm sure I'll have my share of readers who think Ranma should have walloped Luna, and others who think Luna held every possible advantage. In either case, I invite you all to assume that whoever you think should have won was holding back so as not to permanently harm her opponent.

They were obviously both holding back.

I absolutely love your talent with dialogue. the quips and one liners flow back and forth so naturally. I read so many stories where the interactions seem forced, almost like an elementary school play. I'm loving this story.

[SFaccountant]

6994025
I'm glad to hear it!
In this chapter particularly, I was worried that the interactions would seem outrageously out of character to justify the duel. I was trying pretty hard get them to come to blows without making either Ranma or Luna the "bad guy", and I'm glad that you I seemed to have pulled it off.

[Bumblebee Tuner]

6995661
Out of curiosity, have you looked through the 'Ponyfinder' campaign manual? For some reason I assumed they would include more than they did for familiar summoning and magic rites.

[SFaccountant]

7016752
I've never heard of it. I presume that's a Pathfinder parody/supplement?

[Bumblebee Tuner]

7017116
Yes, and deviant art has an additional ponyfinder supplement called kingmaker. I only found out about it a week ago, it's available through amazon for 36 dollars. The ponies are a considered a race of fey that live in a world/realm called everglow.

[SFaccountant]

7017654
That seems like a missed opportunity, to me. I mean, D&D already operates in a fantasy setting containing thousands or possibly infinite hidden worlds and whatnot. Equestria could easily be a well-hidden fantasy land. Or maybe a divine realm headed by the local Sun Goddess.

[Bumblebee Tuner]

7017913
I'm more surprised no one has made a Fallout Equestria campaign. After all, Fluttershy did cause the nuclear apocalypse...
i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/GabrielsThoughts/solution_by_doublewbrothers-d9hb055_zpseulbkhsc.jpg

And, I have doubts that psycho-shy is her ageless daughter.i32.photobucket.com/albums/d12/GabrielsThoughts/psychoshy_trading_card_by_rinmitzuki-d5tnq7l_zpsp5unaksd.png
http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/599525/damnit-fallout
http://rinmitzuki.deviantart.com/art/Psychoshy-Trading-Card-352146801

[geomease]

Your work continues to impress and you continue to remain my favorite author here. I do have 1 question about this series though. Is this going to be a short of 1 story arc series or a continuous multi story epic like your Iron Hearts series?

One thing i loved most about Ranma 1/2 was that each story arc was basically its own independant story you could pick up and read start to finish and not be missing too much. Each story would contibute a bit to the overall narrative, but would resolve any new issues or problems introduced by the arcs conclusion. Is there going to be a similar format here? We get the tense build up with blood rite and swan song, deal with them, then reset the status quo for the next villain/arc?

[SFaccountant]

7026412
It will be a rather long story arc, actually.
There could be a sequel afterward with a new plot, but I'm not doing the episodic thing (which I used to do with Ranma 1/2 fanfiction), nor am I going to write another super long storyline broken into phases.

[suijin228]

i.ytimg.com/vi/zrfUJzfMZ_4/maxresdefault.jpg

[Mandabar]

6308768

I spent over a decade writing Ranma 1/2 fanfiction. It is pretty much my sole source of creative writing experience.
Then I was grasped by the tendrils of the pony fandom and I've been here every since.
... I wonder how my old ff.net page is doing...

Oh did you? Reading your current sotry, I'm interested in seeing those old fics. Got a link? Couldn't find it using your current username at least.

Ranma 1/2 is my favorite of all FanFic types :P

[Bugsydor]

And then Twilight's magic was hijacked and used to remake the world in Blood Rite's image.

I has a sad now, especially since it was Bookhorse Purplesmart who got sealed inside a gem.

[SFaccountant]

7196967
Aw, c'mon, I'm sure it won't be THAT bad.
I mean, Blood Rite's image for Equestria really isn't that different from how things are now. Probably.
(Innocent whistling)

[EverfreeSparkle]

"Hmm... 'Madpony Calamity Assaults Princess in Battle to Determine Fate of Equestria'. Yeah, that'll sell. I kind of get the feeling that there was a lot more to the situation than that, but hey. If they won't tell me, what am I supposed to do?" Brassy giggled and trotted back home.

I hate the press...

[RTStephens]

I was reading this over again and came across this passage that I completely missed the first time.

The purple pony immediately facehoofed, lost her balance, and then collapsed onto the ground in a heap.

... did Twilight just facefault?

[Sora2455]

Eh...

I didn't like this chapter - the fight between Ranma and Luna felt off. Ranma is an inherently silly existence, and you've been acknowledging that throughout the story, so to have him suddenly try to explain his condescending attitude with logic felt forced to me.

That, and I'm always a little saddened when fights in FiM devolve to Beam-Forcefield-Fly-Teleport-Repeat.

[the other sans]

And you can't just go around taking my stuff, even you're a Princess
It's eyes were burning slashes of crimson

1. Even if you're a Princess.
2. Its.

[Admiral Q Ponyform]

so much meta in this chapter.

[furryman]

Butt Gem

Band name!

[Detsella Morningdew]

I never expected that Ranma 1/2's comedy style would work with MLP at all, but somehow, this works splendidly.