This story is a sequel to Dying Flame
A year has passed since Spike's furnace went out, and Twilight was forced to leave her adoptive brother in the care of Al'Mal'Gorath. The complete and utter silence regarding the fate of Spike has all but driven the alicorn into the depths of despair, only her friends support allowing her sanity to remain steady.
Deep down, Twilight fears what may be waiting for her - she fears that her brother, Spike, died a year ago and nothing but a corpse remains. But most of all, she fears the kind of monster Mal'Gorath could have shaped him into.
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Many thanks to ward282, MagicKnight55 and metallusionsismagic for proof-reading and editing the story.
Chapters (6)
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My heart has been successfully wrenched, good sir. You maintained all the emotional depth from the first one, and I spotted no errors. However, with Luna's appearance, and the incomplete status, I am... hesitantly hopeful that Spike may be returned to her.
Can't wait to see where you take this!
Also—and this has little to do with the story—but I wonder how Shining Armor handled the news. If Spike is Twilight's little brother, that must mean they have some kind of relationship, too, right?
Again, nothing to do with this story directly, but it's something I wish I could see more of: SPike and Shining as brothers.
I'll have to see more. I'm half suspicious that that wasn't Spike.
W...what...?
N-no...fuck no...he can't be dead. He just can't be. I refuse to believe that skeleton was Spike!
Glad to see this tale continue in a new story. I'm looking forward to see where this goes.
Wakey wakey, Twilight.
--Spade
Apologies for double posting, Kaptein, but...you receive my sincere condolences. Losing someone so dear and close to you is...very hard.
Luna shows up unexpectedly? I'm thinking dream. This reads Luna dream walking 101...
It was a dream all along!
Im sorry to hear of your loss.
The new story is off to a great start. Twilight is either dreaming or the dragon has a very powerful illusion cast over a very much alive spike
It's a nightmare. A damn good one too!
Please continue.
P.S. My heart goes out to you and your's for the loss of a loved one.
You have my condolences.
Wow... ouch... on both fronts. I am truly sorry for your loss. Great chapter.
That just happened.
I think my sadness-compressor has malfunctioned.
My heart goes to you, Kaptein.
I don't know what to say.
It will mean nothing for me to say "I'm sorry."
All I can offer are condolenses.
...
I'm sorry; I know those words aren't good enough, but I can't think of anything else to say.
Wow.. moving stuff, this is a great read
You have my condolences on your loss, so sad
Now to see if Spike is either the same guy everyone knows, or some cynical angry shell of himself. It was made clear early on that elder dragons seem to have a differing opinion on other races, and not necessarily a favorable one either.
I'm afraid the best I can do is send my condolences. I'm sorry for your loss.
Thank you for releasing this story though, I believe we all appreciate it very much so.
S-s-spike's alright. Is HE??
there was Luna... Maybe it's a dream! I hope
And so sorry for youre friend. I know it isn't much but yeah.
I am sorry for your loss. Please accept my sympathy.
The fic still incomplete, so I don't think that skeleton is Spike...
He's-He's my b-brother, no spaces (spaces? english isn't my best language
)
There's a lot of typos like that
Oh heck, I said that self-recrimination brings me out in a rash in the last story, please, think of my skin when you write.
Oh, man, thank God. That last line.
IT'S A DREAM YAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!
The comment by 6244191 is the only thing that makes me the least bit interested in reading more. Mostly because I just can't handle tragedy.
Don't get me wrong though, this is pretty well-written. One thing though, which is endemic to MLP about dragons. By all that is holy, could people at least check one of the most important words concerning dragons right? A dragon has a hoard. Hoarding is what you do when you collect things and the total of your things is a hoard. A horde is what Genghis Khan had. So you should fix that.
Again, don't mind my tone, your writing is pretty good.
Happy writing.
6244565
Thank you for picking that up. I'm pretty sure I had spelled it correctly the first time round, but I guess I missed it.
6244578 Finally, someone appreciates my Grammar Nazism.
Well, about half of the people who notice it actually does, but you get the point
This is a dream, isn't it. (Luna tipped me off)
6242544 6242615 6242802 6243952 6244191
Did you all forget that Luna was also there when she gave Spike to the dragon in the first place? So the fact that she's there, does NOT necessarily mean that it's a dream, because surely she might remember to come as well.
But still, I'm hoping for something like that as well... since I was expecting a story where both Spike and twilight grow as characters, not just Twilight
6244812 Yeah, but before Twilight hears Luna's voice, it makes no mention of Luna anywhere, and had she actually been there, I would have thought that she would have said something or at least been revealed through some description of the scene.
I have a sneaking suspicion
That he's fucking with her.
6244970
He is. not even a baby dragon's body would decay away that fast.
6244850 so... it's not possible that she arrived AFTER Twilight did?
First of all, condolences (I am not going to attempt to say anything deep or meaningful, the fact that said person meant so much to you means that it's definitely not my place to attempt to do so, just - condolences)
Second, your writing is some of the most beautifully descriptive i have ever read, keep doing what you're doing.
Keep at it brother, you're doing great.
This dragon harbored a grudge against Princess Luna already. Twilight was presented as her friend- I sincerely doubt the elder dragon ever held any intentions of helping her.
Oh thank god for the last line....
6244565
And this is why you need clarification when someone says they saw a dragon horde/hoard nearby. Mistaking one word for the other can lead a bad day.
Found what I believe to be an error
Please let it be a nightmare...
You have intrigued me, sir. I'm just hoping this is a dream. It leaves me to wonder though. If it was a dream, then what has twilight done in the waking world? She just cast some very dark magic in her sleep. Does this mean she also cast it in the waking world? I hope not. And Spike had better not be dead, or so help me, I'm gonna be like a very angry Fluttershy.
*reads the last line*
You brilliant bastard.
Please please please let this be a nightmare or some kind of cruel prank. Please.
You have my condolences, Kap.
And on another note: could be a dream or Luna checking to see if Spike is alive like Twilight did. Could be either one really.
6245991
It likely is, given the last line in the story.
At least I hope so...my heart can't take this much toying with, Kaptein.
Nightmare, calling it
How? You removed the only reason it existed, namely Worst Dragon, and displayed that he can't come back. You're done here, and if you say anything else on the subject, that's a new story entirely.
But I have a sneaking suspicion you're going to pull a Super Mario 2 here, and you should know that such bullshittery will not gain you any favors with your readers in general and myself in particular. We are not mice for your superior catlike mind to play with. Mind your step, boyo.
6245316 Ha.
To be honest, my advice in either case is "run". Only difference is whether you need to mess with it to get killed or not.
God damn, you scared the living crap out of me, Please tell me Twilight's having one of the dreams
I've been waiting a while for this sequel, and it's bittersweet it comes with such bad news. My condolences.
Found a few small things:
Twilight nodded, suppressing the lump forming in her throat.She
*space after the full stop
He had given an ultimatum: leave Spike with him for one full year, and he would attempt to save the young dragon’s life.
*Ultimatums have an implied threat of something happening if something else doesn't happen. Spike's potential death isn't linked to what would happen if twilight didn't leave spike with the dragon.
Unless Mal'Gorath has the Rainbow of Darkness hidden somewhere , I doubt a single year (from which a good part should be spent on recovery ) will be enough to raise Darth Spike.
6247038
I dunno... for a young and impressionable person like Spike, for whom self-confidence did not come easily, it would not be very hard to be convincing, especially given that it's the truth that they nearly killed Spike over giving him menial chores. He could tell Spike the truth, just colored through his perspective, and could paint a very hard picture to ignore.
My guess? Spike is going to be wary and cautious of Twilight's behavior, but willing to give it a chance.