<

Kavonde

Joined May 2012
257 followers

Stories (7)

  • A Teacher With No Class
    Prince Blueblood arrives at Ponyville's school to lecture the students about Equestrian government.

    4,880 words · 7,271 views · 534 likes · 8 dislikes
  • The Strange Destiny of Prince Blueblood
    Prince Blueblood's journey of self-discovery continues in the Everfree Forest.
    25,963 words · 4,728 views · 413 likes · 7 dislikes
  • Get Lost (In a Book)
    Twilight Sparkle is excited about her new book, but her friends won't leave her alone to read it.
    4,413 words · 4,394 views · 361 likes · 6 dislikes
  • Flutterspy
    Fluttershy, with the help of Fleur de Lis, tries to save Rarity from a rival fashionist'a espionage.
    11,732 words · 2,157 views · 125 likes · 3 dislikes
  • The Prince of Ponyville
    122,741 words · 4,298 views · 448 likes · 26 dislikes
  • An Outsider's Perspective
    5,475 words · 342 views · 39 likes · 0 dislikes
  • Looking Glass, P.I: Coins and Crowns
    24,052 words · 668 views · 38 likes · 0 dislikes

Blog Posts (92)


Twilight Sparkle has been waiting eagerly for her copy of the newest Equestrinox novel.  Now that she's finally got it in her hooves, though, it seems like all of her friends are in trouble and need her help.  Will Twi find time to enjoy her book without leaving everypony hanging?

First Published
24th May 2012
Last Modified
24th May 2012

Comments ( 48 )

#1 · 117w, 6d ago · · ·

Good read, I like Pinkie Pie in armour. It seemed a little short, but I can't think of a good way to make it longer. Anyway, have a thumb and a :pinkiehappy:

#2 · 117w, 6d ago · · ·

This is very good! Very episode-like.

I've only got two quibbles:

>a purple unicorn with a multicolored mane was inches away

While technically accurate, it doesn't actually make me think of Twilight Sparkle's mane at all. Probably because they are more like highlights than actual sections like Celestia or Dash. It doesn't seem needed either; the established location and the coat color and race are more than enough to imply "Twilight". I was actually trying to think of who else it could be when I read that.

>"Ooh, a moral!  This was just like a real episode!"

This completely broke immersion and made it less like an episode. Pinkie has broken the forth wall during shade-outs (Swarm and Barrel are the two coming to mind) but not by comments in universe.  It also doesn't really add anything to the story. It really only serves to remind your readers they are reading a story. In the midst of an otherwise very episode-like fic, it's extremely jarring.

#3 · 117w, 6d ago · · ·

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

I'm always glad to hear that my most faithful student has learned something new about friendship. Knowing what's important and what can wait for later is indeed a valuable skill.

Your Loving Mentor,

Princess Celestia

PS: Jaunty Tune's lover dies on page 294.:trollestia:

#4 · 117w, 6d ago · · ·

I know the feeling too well, Twilight.

#5 · 117w, 6d ago · · ·

>>640134

"But, but, I was only on page 137! This is a spoiler free zone!"

#6 · 117w, 6d ago · · ·

>>640134 This is an acceptable epilogue, and I would love to see the reaction on Twilight's face after reading such a letter. :twilightangry2:

#7 · 117w, 6d ago · · ·

>>639988

Thank ya for the critique!  I agree about the description of Twi's mane; I went ahead and changed it to just "purple-hued."  I also see where you're coming from with Pinkie's fourth wall breakage, but...well, I can't think of anything funnier to put in its place :moustache:

>>640134

Dear Princess Celestia,

For some reason, Ponyville Library just exploded.

Your Loyal Subject,

Bon-Bon

#8 · 117w, 6d ago · · ·

>> nemryn Nice.

"chitinous wave of creepy crawlies,"

if this was a movie reference, I SEE WHAT YOU DID THAR. if not, then :facehoof:

#9 · 117w, 6d ago · · ·

I cracked up when Fluttershy said "I'm going to scream now. I hope you don't mind." as well as the fact that Rarity was going to get herslef into the same situation as Fluttershy. :rainbowlaugh:

And by the way Twilight, Celestia was just testing your sense of humor, if you want to know the truth just read the book. :ajsmug:

#10 · 114w, 2d ago · · ·

Quite enjoyed this. Weakest parts were definitely the 4th wall breakage and, generally, the ending. Just feels like you dropped the momentum on its head. *shrugs*

#11 · 114w, 1d ago · · ·

>>769698

Hey, I appreciate the feedback.  I did finally find a joke for Pinkie that will hopefully work a bit better.  As for the ending, well, I'm not sure what else I could really add to it that wouldn't come across as unnecessary filler.  I think part of the problem is that, if this were an actual episode, the action scenes in the story would be stretched out quite a bit.  Unfortunately, I can't really figure out a way to emulate that without bogging down the narrative with more details than anybody really needs.

Limitations of the medium, I suppose, or just limitations of my own ability.

EDIT: Well, I realized a way to add a bit to the end, but I'm not 100% sure I'm happy with it.  I'll give it another look later today.

#12 · 113w, 6d ago · · ·

Indulging in a hobby is fine, but not at the expense of those you love.

I get the strangest feeling that this might be applicable to my life...

...Nah.

#13 · 113w, 6d ago · · ·

So...when's the episode being made? Seriously, I could actually picture this as an actual episode of the show. That's what makes this story great :twilightsmile:

"Ooh, a moral!  This is totally gonna be a letter to Princess Celestia, isn't it?  I can't wait to hear that little clarinet song while you write it!"

:rainbowlaugh: Oh Pinkie, you can't just break the fourth wall like that :pinkiehappy: Well, actually she can...

Also, I really like the moral. It's pretty genuine and funnily enough, I actually think I could learn a little something from it.

#14 · 113w, 6d ago · · ·

Good thing I live in a pretty boring area. Don't like having to put a new book down for anything, which is typically when everyone wants to talk.

#15 · 113w, 6d ago · · ·

Well, I'm going to have to give this a read.  Actually, I've been writing a fic lately that's extremely similar to this.  Of course, it's unfortunate that you beat me to the punch, per se, but it will be interesting which direction you took this idea.  Haha, hopefully they won't end up being too similar.

#16 · 113w, 6d ago · · ·

Excellent, hopefully you do more of these. :rainbowkiss:

#17 · 113w, 6d ago · · ·

Ah, I know how you feel Twilight. Also, Fluttershy talking to the spiders was hilarious.

#18 · 113w, 6d ago · · ·

>>640134  Trollestia is "pest" pony.  :rainbowlaugh:

>>777366 The changes obviously worked. I don't know exactly what you changed, but I think the ending may now be the strongest part!

#19 · 113w, 6d ago · · ·

Also, is it just me, or could this be meta-fiction about the brony community? Re-read that letter to the princess, kids!

#20 · 113w, 6d ago · · ·

I really like the way you wrote Fluttershy. Flawless characterization, her dialogue was perfect :twilightsmile:

#21 · 113w, 5d ago · · ·

Pretty entertaining, but the most amusing part might have been when Dash charged in and got herself uselessly caught in the web too. Seems exactly like something she would do.

I want to see their very pretty armor now, by the way.

The closest thing I have to a complaint is that I don't really think Fluttershy would use the "Dashie" nickname, but that rates about a 0.5 out of 1000 on the annoyance scale, so why am I even mentioning it?

#22 · 113w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

My Faithful Student Twilight Sparkle,

Please don't bother me with friendship reports right now. I've been waiting for a new book in this series for ten years.

Princess Celestia

#23 · 113w, 5d ago · · ·

I liked it. a very fun read.

#24 · 113w, 5d ago · · ·

That was very enjoyable. :twilightsmile:

#25 · 113w, 4d ago · · ·

I can only echo the statements above. All in all, an excellent piece of light entertainment. It doesn't quite make my "read again"-list, but definitely fun while it lasted.

#26 · 113w, 4d ago · · ·

Great fic!  It did a great job of capturing that episode-like feel in the best way possible.

Derpy Hooves trotted down the street, mail bag slung over her shoulders and her thoughts occupied by visions of muffins.

Fantastic way to start a fic.

"It's just that, my special talent is working with animals, and being eaten by animals would be really embarrassing."

Indeed. XD

"Ooh, a moral!  This is totally gonna be a letter to Princess Celestia, isn't it?  I can't wait to hear that little clarinet song while you write it!"

Moments like that are why Pinkie's awesome.


And you did a great job of ending the fic on a note that left me smiling a warm smile. :twilightsmile:

#27 · 113w, 4d ago · · ·

Hey, I finally finished my other story, so now I have time to reply!

First off, thanks for the kind words, everyone.  I'm glad everyone (except for that one guy who clicked thumbs-down) liked it.  It was a fun project, and I'm kinda proud of how it turned out.

>>786768 >>788650

I think there's a sizeable overlap between geeks and bronies.  And as a lifelong geek and more recent brony, I thought I'd preach to my brethren :twilightsheepish:

>>787278

Sorry about that!  Great minds think alike, you know.

>>788626

Well, it originally ended with the group hug, followed immediately by the letter to Celestia.  I added in the bit with Spike and Twi getting home at the last minute.  Glad it turned out well :twilightsmile:

>>789970

If only I could draw...

And, yeah, Fluttershy calling her "Dashie" is just my own, personal head canon.  I think it fits her personality; "Dashie" sounds much softer and more gentle than "Rainbow Dash," so of course she'd use it.  But I guess the show writers don't agree with me... yet.

>>789970

Heh, thank ya.  She was fun to write :yay:

>>797391

Thank you!  I think any fic that starts with Derpy thinking about muffins is probably off to a good start, honestly.  (At least until someone writes a "Cupcakes" sequel starring her.  Which has probably already happened, actually.  And it's probably called "Muffins."  :derpyderp1:)

Again, thank you, everyone!  It really has been nice getting so much positive feedback on this.  Now, I clearly have to write another episodic story and hope I can crack the Featured box this time around...

#28 · 113w, 4d ago · · ·

Pinkie Pie dressing in authentic period full plate is completley out of left field, and utterly in character.

Does the guy who knows a guy do all of her costumes?

#29 · 113w, 4d ago · · ·

>>800181

I think he knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a girl who knows another guy who knows two or three other guys who also know Pinkie.

#30 · 113w, 1d ago · · ·

Fantastic story. Felt like an episode, for sure.

#31 · 113w, 1d ago · · ·

Man, if I had any talent in drawing, I'd totally whip up a pic of Pinkie in full plate armor. *Laughs*

Good show all around, fun little piece. :twilightsmile:

#32 · 112w, 5d ago · · ·

Counter-moral!

Dear Bearers of the Elements of Harmony,

I am so glad that you've all become such wonderful friends with my faithful student and have grown to appreciate her incredible depths of wisdom and talent. But maybe you could leave her alone every once in a while instead of bothering her when she clearly does not want to be disturbed. She is an introverted pony and though I know she dearly loves all of you she prefers to be alone sometimes. Also, she likely has a copy of "The Pony Who Cried Wolf" in stock. Look into it.

Your omnipotent and totally awesome ruler,

Princess Celestia

#33 · 112w, 1d ago · · ·

That was better written than a couple of the real episodes in my opinion.

#34 · 111w, 5d ago · · ·

I really enjoyed this fic :twilightsmile:.  More episodic fics are amongst my favorites but unfortunately I haven't come across too many.  I felt like all of the mane 6 were in character and the pacing and descriptions were spot on.  I also have to say I felt bad for Derpy when Twilight got her book and rushed back into the library :fluttershysad:.  I just wanted to give her a nice big hug:pinkiehappy:!

#35 · 111w, 2d ago · · ·

Awww, I was kinda hoping the spiders would get to eat Fluttershy!  

They must have been really hungry!

Would somepony PLEASE think of the spiders!  :trollestia:

#36 · 111w, 2d ago · · ·

>>790471  Dear lord, that would be the trollingest response imaginable.  And absolutely perfect.  :trollestia:

#37 · 111w, 2d ago · · ·

Wow, that was amazingly just like an episode.  Everything was great.  I am only sad I didn't read it sooner.  But it all worked out in the end, now didn't it?

#38 · 108w, 3d ago · · ·

>>831371

THIS! This is the real moral of the story!:trollestia:

#39 · 108w, 3d ago · · ·

Ahh. I love simple slice-of-life stories like this.

And this was a good read. Thumbs up. :raritywink:

#40 · 101w, 6d ago · · ·

>>831371 Agreed! I understand the point of the story, and agree with it. That being said, it's not fair to put the blame COMPLETELY on Twilight, as she WAS visibly frustrated with all the interruptions :twilightoops:

Story still gets a Hooves Up from me, I just think your moral rounds the whole thing out nicely :twilightsmile:

#41 · 87w, 2d ago · · ·

As was said in another comment it felt like episode!

Brilliant story! :twilightsmile:

And I had huge sense of deja vu while reading :) Well, I never waited ten years for book and than got continuously interrupted, but I was in similar situation more than once :)

#42 · 64w, 3d ago · · ·

>>640740

Dear Bon-Bon,

She probably noticed already, but I sent your letter to the dungeons just in case.

Twilight Sparkle

#43 · 61w, 6d ago · · ·

Awwww. Nice ending. And I well understand the urge to read before all else.

#44 · 61w, 6d ago · · ·

>>2666871 Dear Twilight Sparkle,

I was joking. Jaunty Tune's lover does not die on page 294. I apologize if your reading experience was interrupted.

Sincerely,

               Princess Celestia

P.S. It's actually page 301.

#45 · 32w, 4d ago · · ·

This is great! You've earned yourself a like, my friend.

I can totally relate to Twilight Sparkle (though I have said that before :rainbowkiss:), and I appreciate how this could totally work as an actual episode. Well played, sir, well played.

Also--the epic fantasy? Nice touch. I've been there.

#46 · 30w, 6d ago · · ·

This has got to be one of the best SoL stories I've ever read on this site.  It was engaging, fun, had all the ponies' personalities down perfectly, and felt like a true episode the whole way through, even including a great letter to Celestia with a lesson that felt like it would fit in perfectly to the show.  Congratulations on writing such a wonderful piece of fiction.:twilightsmile:

Comment posted by Starblade deleted at 2:31pm on the 29th of January, 2014
#48 · 30w, 16h ago · · ·

"Um, Dash, you know the mare who writes those isn't actually a pegasus... "

0 27903 86122
Login or register to comment